Ephesians 4:17-24
17 This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind,
18 having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart;
19 who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
20 But you have not so learned Christ,
21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus:
22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts,
23 and be renewed in the spirit of your mind,
24 and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

It would take me an hour to go through all that I would like to say about this passage. These are the times I wish I could just record my thoughts in audio instead of typing them all out. I have really been chewing on this passage tonight and the Lord has been calling me to assess my life and allow Him to rid me of anything that is not pleasing to Him. I don't want to walk here without purpose. I don't want to walk in the futility of my mind...just living for me and my selfish desires. That is not how I learned Christ. I truly want to take Him at His word and put off the corruptive, deceitfulness of sin. Anyway, I want to live for Him and I know you do to. I don't want to walk like the rest of the world. I know you get what I am saying. Go read THIS and skip down to part C...if you have time. Maybe you can get a commentary and study Eph 4 for yourself and let God speak.

DOUBLE DIPPING

Do you double dip? Read this...I cracked up!

Body Fat

I got my body fat percentage taken today and it is 20%...not sure if that is good or bad (and I haven't been trying to work on it)...but one thing i don't understand is why women are supposed to have higher body fat percentages than men. ;)

Anyway...
I just downed a bunch of cheese dip that I made...so yummy!!

then...i got this off of www.gty.org (John MacArthur's website)

What does it mean to pray without ceasing?

Unceasing, incessant prayer is essential to the vitality of your relationship to the Lord and your ability to function in the world. But exactly what does it mean to pray without ceasing?

The first time someone hears about the concept of praying without ceasing it may conjure up the image of Christians walking around with their hands folded, heads bowed, and eyes closed, bumping into things. While certain postures and specific times set aside for prayer have an important bearing on our communication with God, to "pray at all times" obviously does not mean we are to pray in formal or noticeable ways every waking moment. And it does not mean you're supposed to devote yourself to reciting ritualistic patterns and forms of prayer.

To "pray without ceasing" refers recurring prayer, not nonstop talking. Prayer is to be a way of life--you're to be continually in an attitude of prayer. It is living in continual God-consciousness, where everything you see and experience becomes a kind of prayer, lived in deep awareness of and surrender to Him. It should be instant and intimate communication-not unlike that which we enjoy with our best friend.

To "pray without ceasing" means when you are tempted, you hold the temptation before God and ask for His help. When you experience something good and beautiful, you immediately thank the Lord for it. When you see evil around you, you ask God to make it right and to use you toward that end, if that is His will. When you meet someone who does not know Christ, you pray for God to draw that person to Himself and to use you to be a faithful witness. When you encounter trouble, you turn to God as your Deliverer.

Thus life becomes a continually ascending prayer: all life's thoughts, deeds, and circumstances become an opportunity to commune with your Heavenly Father. In that way you constantly set your mind "on the things above, not on the things that are on earth" (Colossians 3:2).

Adapted from John MacArthur's Alone With God , pp. 15-17.

So, I had a bad day...

Psalm 71:19-21
19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.

Just for the sake of being real...I am having a really bad day. I know what I need to do but can't seem to do it today. I need to cast all of my anxieties on the Lord and when I get a minute with my two year old...maybe I can do just that. I am so disappointed about so many things. I have been folding laundry today wondering if life is going to get any better than this??? I have even been tempted to want to punch the wall or something...or maybe even throw something...like that would make it better. I am sick of the selfish (suck my will to live) people in my life. When will I be content? When will I not let trials, or people, or pretense get to me? I want the Lord to be ENOUGH. Things seem so mundane and I know I need to get my fix on things above. I feel like life has been one constant trial for so many years...and I want to be OK if that never changes. Rod and I are constantly at each other which makes doing life all the more fun. I want to be more obedient to the Lord, more yielded...and I find my soul warring to do what I want. I desperately want to believe God and be humble before Him and not have to wander in some desert of disobedience, wasting my years here. I want to just get on with it...and on so many days I just long to be in the arms of my Saviour. I just get tired here. I get sick of the sameness. I am tired of the enemy...and tired of myself. I woke up with a feeling of heaviness this morning and I just want it gone. I don't need any advice or for anyone to feel sorry for me...I am just wondering if I AM THE ONLY one who ever feels this way!! Also, I am tired of caring about what others think...I have spent too much time in rooms filled with facades and people who are fake (I'm not saying everyone is fake either). It makes me nauseas. I need some stinking mountains to move...because I am sick of them being in my way! I am tired of feeling like I am some hamster on a wheel stuck in a rut. God please show up in the dailiness of my life before I explode. I need a break for my soul. It has been so long since I have just been able to retreat. Rod hunts and gets to spend A LOT of time in the woods on a mental vacation...I guess I need something like that. Time away from all the noise for the Lord to restore my soul. I imagine that I am not the only one.

I am sure my outlook will be different tomorrow =)

my continuation

I have been busy studying but I wanted to take a minute to share something as my continuation from my post on Monday. Bible study went well on Tuesday and I am so in love with this group. Not that I haven't loved my other groups but this one is just very special to me. The Lord has brought some wonderful women who are truly desperate for God. You can see the hunger in them. Another thing about them is that they are so real. I love for people to open up and share so we can all connect and know that we are not alone on this journey.


I wanted to share a few things that the Lord has been dealing with me on.

First off, Hannah from 1 Samuel 1. I shared about this on Tuesday but I want to talk about it here to.
Please read the passage for yourself and see what the Lord would have you to apply to your own life.
Here is a brief version:
There is a man named Elkanah who has two wives (problem number one) Peninnah (for sake of time we will call her Penny) and Hannah. Hannah has no kids and Penny has kids...Elkanahs kids. It was customary for the men to multiply wives back in that time...that is not something appointed by God. His plan was always one man and one woman. Anyway, you also know that the Hebrew people considered it a disgrace to be barren.
We first need to recall what the following verses say:
5 But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the LORD had closed her womb. 6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. 8 Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?"

-The Lord closed her womb
The Lord allows trials in our lives to test our faith which is of greater worth than gold(1 Peter 1). There is always something greater at stake with the pain in our lives. We can choose to lay down in defeat over whatever it is or we can seek to learn and grow closer to God because of it.

-Her rival kept provoking her. The enemy knows where you are weak. he is an opportunist and he wants to play on your weaknesses and heartaches. he has no heart. he also wants to get you to doubt God and he wants to tempt you like he tempted Eve in the garden to think that God is holding out on you. An army doesn't go out into battle without a plan. You and I have got to look at where we are weak and begin to realize that as human as our enemies that provoke us may seem, that our war is not against flesh and blood. The enemy is too strong for us in our own flesh (Ps 18:17) but he is not stronger than Christ in us. We have to keep running to the Lord in prayer and clinging to His word if we want to make it here. I wish I could tell you something different but I can't.

One thing I love about this passage is that Hannah wept and was bitter. As Christians we all will feel and struggle. You are not more spiritual for not feeling or experiencing emotions.
So you and I have a choice with our own bitterness and tears. Hannah chose to pray to the LORD.

Lamentations 2:19 says this:
19 Arise, cry out in the night,
as the watches of the night begin;
pour out your heart like water
in the presence of the Lord.
Lift up your hands to him
for the lives of your children,
who faint from hunger
at the head of every street.

When I first read this verse I got the mental picture of a glass of water representing my heart and pouring out that water representing me coming into prayer and spilling out all of my hurt and disappointment before the Lord.

-Hannah was misunderstood. The Lord made us and unfortunately others will never be able to "get us" in the way that our Creator gets us. She was provoked and misunderstood by even her husband and Eli the priest. Your own husband, friends, and even people at church aren't always going to get you.

One of my favorite parts is when Elkanah tries to comfort her by asking why he isn't good enough (v 8). Sunday night I just began to sob over so many things. There are so many people hurting all around me. People struggling with huge giants of depression, addiction, feelings of unforgiveness, people struggling to come back to Christ after they have run so far, family struggles, rejection, disorders, loss of loved ones, and I was just so overwhelmed with the needs and just cried my eyes out wishing there was something I could do. I also was crying over some of my own personal stuff and Rod came in and said "Babe, what is wrong...you know it is late and I can't handle you crying (translation...I am tired please lets not have to talk about anything)...your not mad at me about anything? You aren't having your time of the month? Just to put it nicely for the few men that read my blog. I am always like dude does it always have to be that time of the month for me to be a girl and to cry? I do feel and have emotions...ok. I just usually don't cry a lot.

-Her bitterness turns into worship. Sometimes the things we want so desperately are the things that can catapult us closer to the Lord the most. I can speak on this one from experience...BIG TIME. I have looked over my life often and praised God for the ways I have seen Him work through my trials and heartaches and I wouldn't trade it for anything...because it is the very thing that has brought me to Him.
19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah lay with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her.

-God remembered her. He opened her womb in His timing. He is good and His ways are perfect. He is loving toward all He has made.

Psalm 84:11
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

Hannah has a child and Samuel and he is one of my favorite prophets in the OT. Anyway, she then knows that he is a little blessing from the Lord and she gives that little guy back to the Lord in a sacrifice of praise. You just need to read the rest for yourself.

You give and take away
my heart will choose to say
blessed be Your Name

Though there is pain in the offering
blessed be Your Name.
Gotta run!

Anxiety from snoring

**EDITED to say this: For two nights Rod has fallen asleep on the couch and I have not been waking him up so I could secretly get some snore free sleep in my own soft bed. ;) That seems to be working pretty good!

I don't know what it is...
but...
nothing seems to get under my skin more than Rods snoring. Seriously, it gives me anxiety it is so loud. Just when I start to drift off to sleep it starts up. Like a thorn in my flesh (a loud snoring thorn) it gets to me bad.
I have kicked, pushed, hit, tried breathing strips, and snore spray, to no avail...and no the manly man is not going to go to a sleep clinic before anyone suggests it. He just thinks I need to sleep in the other room. How does Morgan sleep through this? How do I stay in the power of the Holy Spirit? Is His grace really sufficient for my weakness? Y'all know I am playing with my dramatic post but part of me is so serious. It makes me want to freak out. I never had these anxiety issues at night until I got married. Oh well. I have tried loud fans to drown it out, earplugs which seem to muffle the loudness of it all. Even when I sleep in another room the noise fills and permeates the whole house. What to do...what to do?!?! Well, Morgan is feeding Elmo some chips gotta run!

Love Sleepless in Alabama!

Proverbs 31 Ministries

PLEASE GO HERE and register to win! I just found this today from Boomamas site. I would love to go and learn more about writing!!! =)

from Walkintheword.com

from my fave! www.walkintheword.com
Dr. James MacDonald

Healing Family Hurts

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Have you got some hurdles to overcome in your family relationships? You know-some things that need to change and improve at your house? All of us can at one time or another admit to family problems, causing family pain.

I have just one word to offer you as you seek help and healing for your family: love. Love is relational dynamite that obliterates all obstacles in its path. Talking won’t do that for you. Pressuring won’t; prodding, insisting, demanding, getting selfish-these all will only tear your life and family apart. But 1 Corinthians 13:8 says, “Love never fails.”

Love never fails to what? Let me point out three things that it will handle for you:

#1 Love never fails to conquer selfishness. I am selfish and so are you. We never have to work at self; it’s just right there barking for attention. Love conquers the biggest obstacle in me: selfishness.

#2 Love never fails to conquer skepticism. Over time, it’s easy to doubt that anything is ever going to change. Your family disappoints you and you want to bail but love holds on.

But James, we’ve got real problems over at our house and some pep talk on love is not going to fix it.

You’re right-that’s why we need 1 Corinthians 13:6, “[Love] does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

#3 Love never fails to rejoice in the truth. Love doesn’t sit back in some happy delusion that everything will be okay. Love doesn’t deny problems, but works to see them changed. Love is an action before it’s a feeling.

Here’s your assignment this week:

• In love, serve your family when they choose to be selfish.
• In love, humble yourself before your family when conflict creates distance.
• In love, forgive your family by releasing them from the obligation that resulted when they hurt you. Don’t hold it over them.
• And lastly, in love, speak God’s Word in any situation regardless of the cost. Truth, delivered with love, is what sets us free.

Love gives God an opportunity to work. It’s a tool in His hands to work through you in helping your family.

Here is another one that I hung up in my hallway. I did this one a few years ago. I ALWAYS use a paint pen to write out the scripture. I HAVE NO patience to do it with a paint brush. It is not that great but a good way for me to Deut 6:9 "Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."



This is such a bad shot of this pic and it was taken with the camera phone. Anyway, I am not finished with it...but it is a crown (or supposed to be LOL) it is a cute green with white polka dots to match the colors in morgs room. =)

LOL and poor Morgan

For those of you that don't know LOL stands for Laugh out loud...or we could make it mean lots of love...anyway...
I am about to go to sleep and it just occurred to me that Morgan is supposed to dress up as a nursery rhyme character tomorrow morning. aahh! It is supposed to be something you can get from your house and you aren't supposed to buy anything. So, y'all...poor Morgan. It just hit me in a moment of despair. She is going to be Mary had a little lamb. For a low budget costume I am going to make her a name tag that reads "Mary" and make her hold one of her little lambs. I thought of this all by myself...can you tell?

I also am finishing my post that is a continuation to my last one for anyone who cares. I will publish it in the morning as I seek to study and eat yet another bagel at Panera!! =)

Ramblings from my weekend

I am soooo tired but I wanted to post about some stuff while I have a moment of silence. Morg. (a.k.a. baby in the bunny blanket by Bev) and I had a good weekend. Rod went hunting on Thursday so it was just me and the sweetie for a few days. Saturday we went to the lake and spent the afternoon with Rods mom and sister. Rod's sister cut my hair (she is a professional btw) and it was free! Praise the Lord! Then, she taught me how to make homemade lasagna. I am a late bloomer when it comes to that dish. I felt like I was at a restaurant...only it was free. She amazed me with her ability to just whip up a lasagna real fast. Also, I am not sure why...but everyone seems to make better salad than me. Morgan ate the snot out of some salad. They are such precious people and I am blessed to have them in my life. Okay...then this morning I got up and got morg a bath and dressed her for church. I felt burdened this morning to stay home and spend time with the Lord where I could actually hear from Him in silence. I needed it badly. I don't like to miss church but I did today. I had some stuff on my heart along with some anxiety that needed to be dealt with. As I was reading this morning and going through specific verses about fear I began to think about why I was anxious. I really believe the answer is that I get anxious due to fear. The Lord really spoke courage in my heart as I sought His help this morning in my situation. I was reading this in Psalm 91:9-10

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

I can't stand when people tell me the Old Testament is the old covenant and so they sort of just dismiss it. No, we can't apply everything to our life from the OT but God sure means to teach us and speak to us about who HE is from the Old Testament. DON'T GET ME STARTED! How would we see the holiness of God, the fact that no sacrifice was good enough for our sins, the anger and wrath over sin, the affection that God has for His people, the providence, the mercy, the depth of human emotion that comes from the Psalms....how could we even begin to grapple with any of this without the Old Testament? 1 Corinthians 10:6 says that

6Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did.

So, I am done with my OT tangent. The Old Testament is RELEVANT. I can't even tell you what it means to me to be able to open up God's holy word and relate to men like David...who loved God with a passion and yet fell into sin...and after all was said and done he was called a man after God's own heart. I love to see Moses and how God, in His providence and in spite of all odds, molded him to be the one who would lead the Israelites out of slavery. I have got to know these truths down in my core and I have got to know for myself that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Especially when in my own life I have sinned so grievously against my Father. He didn't resist the repentant then and He won't now. OK take a breath Jenny. Back to psalm 91...in prayer today I acknowledged that I had seriously been trying to take matters in my own hands and fight my own battle with carnal weapons. Those verses popped out to me because God usually gave a command with a promise...in those verses He said that if He would be our dwelling place then no harm would befall them. For application I felt like the Lord was trying to show me to hide myself in Him, to lean on Him, run to Him, rest in Him, and let Him take care of my enemies through abiding in Him. When I attempt to fight my own battle with pride, I lose, and I do a lot of damage to myself and others. If I am wronged or if someone is mistreating me...I need to go to Him in prayer before I attempt to lash out, control, or try to fix things.
Real quick...my bible has been falling open to James and here is something I needed to be reminded of:
James 1: 19-20
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

The word for slow in this passage is the word Bradys (which is also a latin word...go Jenny!! I got that from my medical transcription...LOL) it means "slow. It stands in contrast to tachys swift quick. (1) Reluctant, dull, unresponsive (2) cautious, deliberate, not in knee-jerk, reactionary fashion.

This may be a word for you if you are good at fighting back and reacting in the flesh. I got the message loud and clear this morning and I want it to stick. If I will hide myself in Him, let Him fight my battles, and not react with some knee-jerk reaction...He will protect me. When I choose to go on my own in disobedience He will remove that protection from me because He sets Himself against the proud. I will set myself in opposition to THE LORD...when I choose to handle things my way. By His commands we are warned...I love these verses which explain what I am trying to say:

Psalm 19:9-13

9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.

10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.

11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.

12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.

13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

I will continue to live in a state of anxiety and oppression when I continually fend for myself instead of waiting on God to act.

So, this brings me to a passage I have been thinking about so much involving Hannah...but so I don't bore you to death I will break it up into another post. =)

tag im it!

Real quick before I complete my tag...I need to tell you that I think I am going to make a citizens arrest. Can I do that? I pulled into my subdivision tonight and something strange caught my eye. Is that Christmas lights I see? Is today not January 25th? So, I go a completely different way to scope it out. Yes, it is affirmative, Christmas lights are up and on!

On another note...the morganater pulled a kid by her hair in chic-fil-a tonight. It was a big scene in the play area and I had to spank her, she fake cried, and we left. D-R-A-M-A. My kid is a bully! ****EDITED TO ADD: My worst fears are coming true...Morgan is officially a booger picker. Yes you heard me right...she is picking her boogers and eating them...sick! Did she learn this from her dad? At least the picking the nose thing? It sure was not me! PLEASE tell me if you have a kid that they did this to!?!?

Leigh tagged me and get ready to be bored!! LOL
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ? No but I changed my name from Jennifer to Jenny when I was five because EVERYONE was named Jennifer and I did not want to be like everyone else.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last weekend
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? yes
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? gross
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? one in heaven and little morgan
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? nope
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? yes...oops
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? no, I had them taken out 4 years ago and please don't talk to me after anesthesia.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? If I wanted to have a panic attack not kidding
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I don't like cereal or milk
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? no
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? just call me shera princess of power. LOL! people say I am but I don't think so.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? oh yay!! Lactose free breyers natural vanilla it is my FAVE!
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? their butt...i mean what is this? (sarcasm...lol) no, I notice whether they make eye contact or not
15. RED OR PINK? red all my life...but changing to pink
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF? There are so many things but I hate when I don't take God at His word...choose to sin choose to suffer in the words of James MacDonald.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my old high school boyfriend...I AM KIDDING. This is a hard one...I do miss friends that live out of town.
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Gray cords that I got from the thrift store for 3 dollars. Some girl like hounded me to buy them there because she said they were really expensive pants and she couldn't fit into them and just knew I could. They are called silver jeans or something. I do like them a lot! Red shoes..i love shoes
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? kids cheeseburger from burger king with cheese and ketchup only.
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Thomas the train i am sick of it!
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? red
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? I love it when Rod stinks up the bathroom...kidding. I love love love the smell of my baby girl!
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My little sister Steph
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? um none...thank you.
25. HAIR COLOR? dark brown
26. EYE COLOR? hazel
27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? yes.
28. FAVORITE FOOD? mexican-chicken quesidilla, beans, and rice, with cheese dip on top to be exact. I also like kids meals
29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings
30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Thomas' Great Adventure...snore.
31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? white and gray r u bored yet?
32. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer
33. HUGS OR KISSES? it depends. i love getting my sugars from morg.
34. FAVORITE DESSERT? soft baked choc chip cookies and my ice cream. Oh hold the phone...I LOVE LITTLE DEBBIES
35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Moses and don't get me started. I love it!!
36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? dont have one
37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? sprout and noggin
38. FAVORITE SOUNDS? my praise mix.
39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? none
40. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Mexico and Baltimore
41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? nope
42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? bham

I AM SO BORING!!

I tag Charity and Darla!

Because when you are two...

Morgan threw a cup of water on the floor on purpose last night and of course we headed straight up to her room for time out. I told you before she hates time out.
Well, she decided this time she was not going to spend her energy crying in her room. So...when I hear quiet I get a little nervous because she is ALWAYS into mischief if things are quiet. So, I head up stairs to find her stripped down...no diaper and she was desperately trying to get one of the cutest 2 piece bikini's on. I couldn't do anything but laugh she was so cute. She is Queen of my heart that is for sure. One piece of advice people give constantly is to cherish the time because it goes bye so fast...don't worry I truly do. Nothing has brought more joy to my life than this little sweetie and I have savored every single day with her! So, I of course let her (along with a new diaper) get her bikini on. This was important stuff. I love the way her belly sticks out and she is just so proud. I wish I felt proud with a belly! LOL! So, it hit me...she saw a picture of her this summer in her swimsuit in her baby pool and so she was desperately trying to get outside in 34 degree weather to recreate the moment. I talked her into wearing her jammies over the swimsuit. Because she is two she is laying asleep next to me with her bathing suit and jammies on and I promised her she could go swimming in the tub this morning. So cute!! ps I actually went to bed before midnight and I swear I regret it since I am up at 3am!! WHAT WHAT?
Also, I think I have been wrestling God in my sleep or something I have been in some pain ever since my bragging on the clean kitchen. dang!

Things That War Against the Soul

1 Peter 2:10-12

10Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

11Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 12Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

It always amazes me when I listen with my heart how God brings sermons, bible studies, and etc to the same theme bringing unity to the message He wants driven into my heart and mind.

How many times do you and I let this world system, culture, or what people say about us define who we think we are? God says that in Christ we are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, we are holy, loved, chosen by God, saints (set apart ones), washed, forgiven.

1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

The Lord has really been speaking to my heart over this (through scripture and other sermons) wanting me to believe who I am in Him. He doesn't want me to just know it as a fact or something on a page but He wants me to know it down in the bone and marrow. Something Beth Moore has often said that has stuck out to me for years is that we act out what we truly believe. She is dead on. We desperately need Gods truth to sink down deep in us or when the storms come in life we will not stand.

I have been having a time in the desert (not dessert...LOL) where the Lord has been testing me and stripping me of well me, and bringing things to the surface that need to be dealt with. If I do not believe what God says to be true of me I will inevitably look for worth and fulfillment in something else. This passage of scripture tells us who we are in Christ and then it admonishes us to stay away from the fleshly lusts (KJV) that war against our soul. The word for fleshly is:
4559 sarkikos {sar-kee-kos'}
Meaning: 1) fleshly, carnal 1a) having the nature of flesh, i.e. under the control of the animal appetites 1a1) governed by mere human nature not by the Spirit of God 1a2) having its seat in the animal nature or aroused by the animal nature 1a3) human: with the included idea of depravity 1b) pertaining to the flesh 1b1) to the body: related to birth, linage, etc

And the word for lust is:
1939 evpiqumi,a epithumia {ep-ee-thoo-mee'-ah}
Meaning: 1) desire, craving, longing, desire for what is forbidden, lust

When you and I are walking in the flesh not yielding or submitting to God we will live for the things of the flesh and reap destruction. Unfortunately, I know about making poor choices that have harmed me. When we seek to live and walk in the Spirit our lives will bring forth fruit that will last and we will have peace in our souls.

I have always struggled with insecurity. Growing up I so desperately wanted to please everyone but no matter what I did it didn't seem to make anyone happy enough. Then along the way in certain relationships I would allow other people to define me with their words. One day after much frustration it was like the Lord whispered to my heart, "Jenny, forget what anyone else says about you...who do I say you are?" I had to make a decision to yes learn from criticism, but to not let what others say define me as a person if it is in contradiction to what God says of me. Being insecure will lead to all manner of desperate decisions and attempts to try to find love. It will bring you to the things that war against your soul and often wound you when you seek your worth in anyone but God.

I can still remember things that were said to me, fiery arrows that were shot straight to my heart, and I let those things have control over me. I remember hearing things like you are an accident, I hate you, you're an idiot, you get the picture and those things would wound and I would think well they know me so it must be true. Then, over the years I let a lot of peoples actions define me...what they didn't do or the emotional rejection I felt, define me as well.

If you have never struggled with this I praise God. All I am trying to say is if you and I don't let the love of God sink into our parched and barren souls we will set ourselves up for disaster, always seeking to be affirmed by this world or other people in my life. It will suck our will to live. God will allow people to fail us in order to open our eyes to the One who will never leave us or forsake us. He will also use these divine set ups to teach us that no one can fill us it is truly impossible. If we seek others to define our worth they become idols in our lives. God for sure provided others for fellowship but we are not to bow down and take on a yoke of oppression to someone we have let (define us) or become "a god" in our life. WHO DOES GOD SAY YOU ARE? Search it out. Ask Him to free you from all of the lies you have believed so that you can walk securely with your God.

I was reading Job and something really stood out to me in the footnotes. It said that maybe the enemy used Job's friends bad counsel to tempt him to sin against God. I think he for sure knows where we are weak and if this is an issue for us he is going to use it to our demise to get us to live in defeat. Lets not let that creep get the victory. If you are in Christ, the Lord Jesus set His affection on you. He loved you so much that He died for you and one day in the blink of an eye...He is coming in a very real tangible way...He is coming for you. So no matter the rejection, you are not rejected by God. He bought you at a price, while you and me were dead in our sins. Allow Him to kick down the walls you have put around your heart in a measly attempt to guard your own heart yourself. When you guard your heart without giving it to Him to guard, you set yourself up for a lot of bitterness, which will take root and spread like a cancer into your whole being and even permeate those around you.

I wish I could open up and be so honest of all the ways I have been tested with this but it is between me and the Lord. It is my prayer for us that we don't waste our life here trying to feel affirmed by this world...it is a beast that will never be tamed. I pray that we will believe God and go on with Him even if our family rejects us (in not loving us the way we want to be loved), our friends reject us, or even our husband rejects us. We have got to believe God and no longer live like a victim waiting for the world or people to love us, when God loves us so much. We are to be a peculiar people (not in some weird way) and a people that are set apart to declare the praises of the One who called us out of darkness into His marvelous light. To do this we are going to have to walk by faith and not by sight (or how we feel). We are not who we once were anymore. We are not to walk like we once did...and it is easy to return to that if you aren't allowing God to have His way in you and if you aren't replacing lies with truth. I sure don't want to be the dog returning to her vomit, like the fool who returns to her folly. Vomit tastes nasty, LOL! I have had enough of my own junk.

2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.

Psalm 45:11

11 The king is enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord.

Oh and on a completely different note I strained my back from cleaning the floor. I guess pride comes before the fall since I was bragging about it. =) I really was kidding though. I prayed that the Lord would let Morgan be calm for me and the child has been so good it isn't even funny she has been laying in the bed with me watching Thomas for hours now. He is making us lie down in green pastures....;)

In honor of you!

I am eating a bagel at Panera in honor of all of my blogging siestas (aka sisters) right now. =) Which means I won't be able to consume food for the rest of the day!
*Just as a side note...my name growing up was "radar" because I would pay attention to ten different things at once and while I am here studying I am people watching and eaves dropping (oops). I am currently listening to a guy talk to his pregnant woman (I just found out she was pregnant by their conversation) and he is a history teacher. I don't think they are married. They are way too into each other to be married ;) and I don't see any rings. He is showing her map after map and she is trying not to act bored. I would love to get into some history discussion with him but it wouldn't be appropriate. Anyway, I seriously don't think they are believers based on their conversation (making jokes about Christians and mocking missionaries)...what a shame too because the dude is loaded in some historical info (if you have done Daniel..by bethie you will remember how important biblical history is with prophecy and etc...don't make me make you name all the parts of the statue in Daniel..empires and metals...but I know you can do it). Oh wait...he is wanting to go to Palestine. I wanna go! Gotta get back to work...does anyone listen in besides me?

Not to brag or anything because that would be wrong...

Seriously, I have spent the last couple of hours in my kitchen cleaning and you could very seriously now sit down on my tile floor and eat off of that floor with me. But we would have to be crazy to do that.

Charity got me thinking about the Magic eraser*s. I so love them! So, I bleached the counters and etc and then began to get on my hands and knees to clean the floor. I am not ready to say goodbye to my mop because sometimes the wetjet* just doesn't do the trick. If you have ceramic tile and the grout has gotten very dirty...and if you are real bored j/k...(oh I buy the generic erasers from Walmart) take that eraser and you will be shocked as you clean that grout how clean it gets. It also gets grease off...I use it to clean my leather couches (probably not a good idea but I do it anyway and it works beautifully). I practically use those bad boys everywhere...I use it to get scuff marks off all of the doors. I have always loved to clean but then I get really mad when things start messing up. I used to vacuum the carpet like the way a football field was cut and I would ask my sisters to walk on the couches to keep from messing up my fresh vacuum tracks (can anybody say crazy...and thankfully I am free from that madness). My next carpet of choice will be berber). I had major issues back then and almost went into a melt down over it because I wanted some order. So, I really don't get all compulsive with the cleaning...just a few pet peeves...like 1. No dishes left in the sink ever. 2. toilets must be cleaned on a continual basis especially when you have a child who likes to dip her bippee in them. 3. I do like my floors to be vacuumed so I keep the vacuum out as a stationary item...kind of like furniture. 4. I don't like to get behind on laundry. Does anyone have any cleaning pet peeves or am I the only one?
My house has a long long way to go but the kitchen is a start! have i bored you to death or what?

Another thing real quick. Rod comes home tonight with a 20 pound bag of boneless chicken (which is great because I don't eat meat on the bone) that he got free from a customer (uh hum...the Lord). I am really trying to be frugal and I just accepted this as some quail (Exodus 16) from the Lord. I have raw meat issues but I divided up all of the chicken into plastic bags and I must admit I grumbled that the raw meat was getting on my hands (Rod knows I hate it and he accidentally flung some raw chicken juice in my face...sick)...I even told the Lord out loud that I was sorry for complaining about what He provided because of my raw meat issues...but I put it back on Him and told Him that He made me this way...LOL! We will be having chicken a thousand different ways and maybe even eating it off of the floor...yummy. I seriously love His provision for me and my family when I wait on Him.

conversations

Me: Morgan we are going to have a good day today aren't we! (notice this is a statement not a question)
Morgan: No!

She has started wanting to paint (PAINT!?!?). If we aren't painting, watching veggie tales, eating candy, drinking sprite, playing with trains, and messing up the whole house...it is not a good day to her. I am seriously in the throes of the terrible twos..thank God she is cute!! Also, I will seek to define throes for everyone because that is what is going on here (LOL):

a sharp attack of emotion.

throes, a. any violent convulsion or struggle: the throes of battle.

and she really must have decided she was seriously not going to have a good day because she is pitching the most royal fit ever over not wanting to sit in her chair and eat. I wish those were my battles!!
I need some HELP from the Lord. =) If you are doing "Stepping Up" I hope you have that passage down or that you get it down...it is so good!

HELP HELP MOMMY she screams!! gotta go get her!

blah blah

Check out Amy's blog she designed it herself!! Also, you have to read Maryanna's post on hot chocolate. so good. (These are some more of my local friends LOL)

Also, don't tell Rod but I have been thinking about another man ALL DAY...his name is Moses..you can read about him in Exodus. Gotta get back to my book, I am enthralled by it and a bit obsessed with studying his life...

I can never tell how bible study went but I hope it went well! Thanks for praying!! =)

ps I was getting my praise on in the car and I just love this ("Friend for Life" by Watermark) song. I love this verse so much!!

Come and ruin me with Your love
So no other is enough
Come and leave Your mark on me

Please ruin me with Your love Lord so that no other is enough...leave your mark on me Jesus...more of thee...more of thee!!

Friend for life
Who took my pain
The cleansing flood
You remain
Wash over me
Till I can't be seen
Living Water swallow me
Deepest river wash me clean
Jesus, Savior more of thee
Jesus, more of thee
Come and ruin me with Your love
So no other is enough
Come and leave Your mark on me
Jesus, more of thee
Jesus, more of thee
Friend for life
I'll carry on
Through the power
Of this flood
Let it spill over, over
Till I can't be seen
Living Water swallow me
Deepest river wash me clean
Jesus, Savior more of thee
Jesus, more of thee
Come and ruin me with Your love
So no other is enough
Come and leave Your mark on me
Jesus, more of thee
Jesus, more of thee
Deep is the stain
Inside of me
But deeper the river
That washes me clean
I've been the one
Who cries in the night
But you've been
The friend of my life
Living Water swallow me
Deepest river wash me clean
Jesus, Savior more of thee
Jesus, more of thee
Come and ruin me with Your love
So no other is enough
Come and leave Your mark on me
Jesus, more of thee
Jesus, more of thee
Jesus, more of thee
C2001 Sweather Weather MusicRocketown MusicWord Music, Inc. (ASCAP)


p.s.s. Janel gave me THIS...she is so sweet!!
I share the love with all of you! you are awarded!

Shout Out!

Two things:

1. Let me know if you are going to do "No other gods" online with us.
2. I want to know who all is going to San Antonio?!?!? If you don't know what I am talking about then you probably aren't going. =) LPL event in August (Beth Moore).

My bible study is tonight...can't wait! Say a prayer if you think of us!

Moses

When my friend Jessica came to visit me we made a trip (or a couple of trips) to Lifeway. I am such a nerd and I love love love bookstores. I love good books. I especially LOVE character studies. I love to feel like I am walking on the pages of Scripture as I dig in and grow in Gods word. Jessica, Morgan, and I spent several hours in there that day. The Charles "Chuck" Swindoll series books were half price and she had just started his book on Elijah. Well, I love learning together so we can talk about what we are learning...but as I stared at the books I began to pray that God would put on my heart the one that was for me.

I have been begging for a word as I have felt like I am in a dry place for the last year...my Negev (Negeb "Negev" means parched in Hebrew), as I call it. I have been so thirsty for the Lord. There have been days lately where I feel like I have not had one second to steal away with the Lord (Morgan is even up now). I have been in the word but it hasn't been without distraction. I have been so tense, so stressed out, and so frustrated for so many reasons (and as a disclaimer please don't feel sorry for me I am just telling you where I am).

So, back to Lifeway...as I looked and prayed my heart went to Moses. I can not even begin to tell you what a word this book has been for me at this time. I can not even begin to describe the times I am reading and I am like was he reading my mind? You know what I mean. Anyway, this book will shatter your ideas of "Moses" that you have seen on the "Ten Commandments" movie if you have never studied the life of Moses. I praise God for knowing what I need and when I need it. If only I would trust Him more.

If you ever feel dry, or like you have just blown it, or if you wonder if your life has purpose, or you have missed your calling...this may be a timely word for you as well. I just had to share...I am so grateful for the Lord using this book to draw me closer to the pages of Scripture.

from Dr. James MacDonald www.walkintheword.com

Stick With Today

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? . . . But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6: 25-27, 33

How often do you wake up in the middle of the night with burdens on your heart that keep you from going back to sleep?

It happened to me last night. The clock said, 4:10 a.m. and I was wide awake.

Baggage from yesterday and worries about tomorrow weighed heavily on my mind. What Jesus said in Matthew 6:34 is true. “Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Do you start the day thinking, “I don’t have enough on my mind today. I’m going to borrow trouble from tomorrow and make up some new problems”? Yeah, me neither. The word trouble means adverse circumstances, problems, hardship. And for certain, each day has enough of its own.

Jesus says in effect, “Let’s compartmentalize here. You can’t carry the weight of the past-that’s what forgiveness is for. You can’t carry all the uncertainties of the future-that’s what faith is for; you must focus on today. Let’s deal with what we can.”

We weren’t made for anxiety. The manufacturer’s specifications do not allow for worry. It’s no different than if someone poured sugar in your gas tank or introduced a virus to your computer. Worry does that to the human spirit. When you gather up in your mind on a regular basis a list of all the unknowns of the future and repeatedly review and extrapolate, the uncertainties become so large that it will crush you. Everything gets sideways when you’re on the anxiety program.

You were not fashioned for fear.

You were not wired for worry.

You were made to live today-“Sufficient for the day is its own trouble”-to focus on the things that you can affect, to work on the things that you can improve that are right in front of you.

You and I have limited capacity. We can’t carry yesterday or our imagined tomorrow. We’ve got to trust the Lord today, from one day’s 4 a.m. to the next.

Rick Burgess' son Bronner

**LATEST UPDATE** From MyFoxAL

Please pray for the Burgess family. Bronner their two year old son drowned yesterday.HERE is the statement on their website. They were actually a few rooms down (when Bronner was born) when I was in the hospital on bed rest with Morgan. So sad.

CLICK HERE to read the article from the Birmingham News.

CLICK HERE to read the article from ABC/3340

Message from Scott Dawson

I See, I Hear, I Am Concerned

Aren't we all faced with the temptation to give up when we feel God isn't coming through in our situation? Whether it be our marriage, income, relationships, our job, deliverance, our own spiritual progress, or whatever...

I was reading this from "Moses" by Charles (Chuck) Swindoll and it was so timely.

"Do you ever imagine that your hard, harsh moments and tests escape God's notice? You may become so discouraged, so filled with acute pain, that you begin to think God couldn't be aware of your circumstances, or, if He is aware, then He doesn't care. That's a lie from the evil one himself.

God is always aware. And He cares very deeply. As we will see, He will do whatever it takes to rescue His people. It may be by calling you home to Himself, or it may be by splitting an ocean right down the middle so you can walk on dry ground. His deliverance may not arrive on your timetable or in the manner you expect it, but it will arrive at the best time, the right time. He will not abandon His own."

Moses, Chuck Swindoll pg 16, 17

I had gotten myself into a rut of biting and devouring instead of waiting and praying. I decided in a situation that I would fend for myself instead of crying out to God. I didn't verbally declare this but by my actions I was completely disobedient. In this cycle of disobedience to God's word, it became easier and easier to be disobedient and harder to stop and give the thing over to the Lord. Sorry for being so generic. I was reminded as I read the following verses that God hears, and most definitely takes note of my cries even if the situation doesn't change for a time. God is faithful even in the midst of our adversity. Please pay attention to what I have bolded. In whatever it is that you have battled for a long time and you are growing weary of it having power over you...God sees...God hears...He is concerned...He will rescue you as you wait on Him...Your cry reaches His ear...He sent us a Deliverer who will rescue us continually.

Exodus 3:7-10
7 The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. 8 So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. 9 And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. 10 So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt." (emphasis mine)


These scriptures stood out to me and spoke so much to me tonight that though my deliverance may tarry to wait for it and submit to my loving Father...my deliverance will come. In the meantime change me while I wait Lord.

SNOW!!

**EDITED to add the Alabama tour of snow!! ALISSA, AMY, SUZANNE, LEIGH, HEATHER, HEWY

Morgan building her mo-man...that is what she calls a snowman

These are all from Rods camera phone...but this one is so cute to me. Notice the bags I tied around her shoes LOL! Her dad wanted to know where her snow boots were. Okay since it snows once every decade in AL why would I buy snow shoes?!!


Does she remind you of the kid from "A Christmas Story"?


This is my child praying and thanking God for some snow...j/k...but it looks like it!

oobi

Um this show doesn't seem to scare Morgan but it sure creeps me out. It is called oobi on Noggin. does anyone feel the same?