Siesta Scripture Memory

Psalm 94:9 Does he who implanted the ear not hear? Does he who formed the eye not see?

The other day I was at my moms house scanning her book shelf to look for any of my old books. I had been searching for a particular bible and I thought I may have left it at home.
I started the Beth Moore bible studies when I was 18 and I had already moved out to live on my own. I was struggling literally to survive. I can remember not owning a stick of furniture and sleeping on the floor with just my clothes hanging in the closet. I worked more than any 18 year old should have to, for very little pay. I could not afford to buy a vacuum and my carpet was new in my apartment and it shed to high heavens. So, I would sweep it with a broom. The only dishes that I owned were what my sister had given me for leftovers from her wedding. How sweet of her not to return them.

Anyway, my eyes landed smack dab on a small NIV blue paperback bible. Is this it...I knew it was the one. Back then, I was not well versed by any means. I had NO CLUE what a verse or chapter was, much less a translation. The only verse I knew besides the rote saying of the Lords prayer was psalm 119:32 I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.
I remember sitting down and searching through this ancient yet alive and active text. I did not have a clue in the world. There was nothing about my heart that was free at that point. Little did I know that almost 12 years later I would be sitting here...still passionate and in love with His word. He has been the only consistency in my life. The only thing that has been constant and has remained. The Word made flesh to dwell among us.
I was at such a desperate point in my life. Stripped of everyone and I had gone without comfort for much of my life. Then there I was at the stream in the desert. Forever changed...not perfect. As I have journeyed on I have had my share in sin...yet I have fallen on the One who is Faithful and true. I have found mercy, unfailing love, forgiveness, acceptance and most of all a Father who loves me and a royal Husband who loves me right where I am at. In all of my weakness, in all of my frailty, He knows how I was formed and that I am mere dust. He is familiar with all of me, and you, and He loves us so freely.
My love for Him deepens as the time goes bye. I praise Him for His passionate pursuit of my heart and the Grandeur of His love over me. All of these things have been truth to my soul.

So, as I found the bible I LOST IT as tears flooded my face and all I could do is hold that bible and know that it was my starting place with God...a rock of remembrance. Being in the church for a number of years can make you forget the quarry from which you were hewn. Lord, may I never forget! LOST, destitute, doomed for destruction apart from Him. How steadfast He is. My family did not understand why I was crying but the Lord took every tear and stored them in His bottle. Tears of joy to the God I love. To the God who loves me and gives me the capacity to love. Where would I be without Him?? I don't want to know.

As I struggle on this journey I take comfort in the memory verse above...He made my ears...of course He hears me. He made my eyes...of course He sees me with perfect vision and you and I are the apple of His eye. He loves us so tenderly and with such affection. I pray that you will bask in that today just as I need to. That you and I will quit the self bashing and focus on His unabashed love for you and me. We need it.