Mothers Day

I've been through a lot in my brief tenure here thus far but I can truly say that whatever the enemy has meant for evil, God has meant for my good. It's not words on a page. I've suffered in a lot of private ways and yet I'm thankful because it helps me to share in the sufferings of others. Tonight my heart is heavy over the woman who has tried and tried to have a child and to no avail, the woman whose life hasn't turned out how she thought, the woman whose mother is no longer living, the woman who is estranged from her children, the woman who has been disrespected by her husband as a mother and neglected, the woman who feels such a sense of inadequacy in comparison to the other mothers, the woman who hasn't really had a mom that cared about her, the woman that has miscarried, the woman like myself with a child they had to bury, the woman with regret, the woman who feels deep shame over an abortion and I pray she will understand the forgiveness and redemption there is in Christ, the woman who knows she should just keep believing and have some more faith but is weary...take courage. Mother's Day...it's a mixed bag of emotions. Some days I'm like why are these kids calling me mom? Each time I found out I was pregnant I cried my eyes out. I told God I wasn't fit to raise a child. I would come undone. Yet having those babies has kept me humble and made me see my need for Him in so many ways. I've yet to find that book with the formula on raising them but the only perfect one I know is the scriptures. Loving The Lord and walking in truth are the only things that allow me to love or live before my two. Yet whatever situation you are in please pour out your heart like water in the presence of The Lord. He already knows your pain or your joy and please walk by faith even if you are wrong until you breathe your last breath. Whether you need resurrected relationships or Him to raise the cold dead person in you, whether you are praying for a man, praying for a child, keep knocking, seeking, and asking in His name. That will mean you'll have to get in His word. And from a woman (who thinks she's 18 and can't understand why people call her ma'am) to women may your spiritual offspring be blessed...even if it's not a child you have birthed and may Jesus hold you and comfort you if your mom never did. May He be everything to your precious self. And for those who feel you'll never measure up? Will you get in the psalms and let Him be the lifter of your head as you take all you've learned and row into the future...

God shows no favoritism

I'm reminded tonight that none of us are righteous. No! Not one! Yet I saw the following verse on my computer screen (I've forgotten how to work a laptop lol): "Then Peter started speaking: "I now truly understand that God does not show favoritism in dealing with people," acts 10:34. I wonder how hard a lesson those words were for Peter. It's easy to forget the quarry from which you've been mined from and think you and Jesus have something going on and become all pious and better than everyone else which sets you up for a dangerous fall. I wonder if he remembered how much he had been forgiven of when the Gentiles were coming to faith in our "Jewish Messiah". After all he was one of the 12. He was privy to great intimacy and fellowship...yet because of the death, burial and resurrection those of us who receive Christ also receive the Holy Spirit as a deposit and guarantee of what's to come. His death didn't make sense even to the 3 in His inner circle...yet I wonder if it all came together when the Gentiles were coming to Christ? I wonder if it bolstered his faith to see that what he couldn't see before clearly came to pass, because God is truth and Not a Word of His will pass away until it is fulfilled. So thankful that The Lord reinstates Peter after blowing it BIG TIME!!! The very one that said he would never deny Him...he would even go and die with Jesus yet denied Him with His words and actions. Even more thankful that He uses the life of this rough and tough fisherman to be a big mouth for Jesus and to feed His sheep! He wasn't finished with Peter and Peter absolutely (according to Jerome) went to His death hung upside down on a cross not counting himself worthy to even die in the same manner in which Christ did. Lord, please remove the scales from our eyes, the deceit in our hearts and let us put aside the sin that so easily entangles us and be men and women focused on Christ. Let us walk in a manner worthy and be filled with Your spirit, not gratifying the desires of the flesh. In Jesus Name.