Saturday, September 29, 2007


Luke 12:4-6
4"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. 5But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. 6Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies[a]? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.

I have issues and we already know that. Anyway, I always lose a few heart beats at certain sunsets or glimpses of the moon. Sometimes, as most of you know, I think that Jesus is about to roll back the curtain and make His entrance. Well, let me just say...Morgan and I were coming home tonight and the moon was so fat, so full of splendor that I thought I was going to drive smack into it! Did you see it? It was incredible! At the sight of it I gasped then lifted my hands in praise to the One who made it. It beholds His glory...shouts it out...proclaims it! Anyway, it struck fear (Holy fear at a God that Awesome that I so discount so often) in me at the sight of it and the verse above came to my heart immediately while driving down the road. I thought it was fitting with my last post on fear.

Psalm 27

Of David.
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh, [a]
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

Quick story. Last night was the first night I have had to myself (meaning without Morgan) since December of 06. I wish that I did not have to work the whole weekend. Anyway, back in my single days I got really set in my ways with having time to it was nice to have a few hours to myself even if it was only a night. Point of the story. The Lord has delivered me from a HUGE (I mean HUGE) stronghold of fear. My dad is in law enforcement and I have heard every worse case scenario under the sun. I had a family member get raped in their home and I learned of this when I was six (please do not tell a 6 year old that). So, I have been scared to death ever since I can remember. When I had Morgan I decided that I really needed to be free from this. I did not want her to see her mother wigging out all of the time and pass this on to her. Plus I was just sick of living in fear. Well, I really got to the point where I decided that whatever was going to happen in my life was written in His book before one day came to pass and I was just going to have to rest in that instead of living in panic mode (it is good to be cautious but I don't think Christ wants us living in constant paranoia and fear wondering what villan is hiding behind the shower curtain when we go to the bathroom). So, last night as I was closing up a couple of policemen came by the store (at the mall). I talked with them a while and they told me all of the latest horror stories. Seriously. They told me of robberies and car jackings and etc and etc. They gave me some tips (which my mom mails me the same tips in the about scare you to death if you weren't scared already...she means well but I just have to throw them away and not look at them) on not carrying a purse (yeah right) and parking closer to the building (as if) and they walked me to my car. That was sweet...but I said guys, now I am about to go and stay home by myself for the first time (without Morgan...not Rod) in almost a year...thanks for all of the stories! Then they warned me to NEVER help ANYONE. Don't you just love that. The point is to that the enemy wanted me to go home and stay up all night in fear and you know what it did not happen...GLORY! Just so happened the one night I am to stay alone (which I don't no why I wouldn't be scared all the times its just me and Morgan...since she's 2...but I just have to be grown up for her) I get all of this wonderful news. I decided to take my thoughts captive and trust in Christ last night and I slept like a baby! AAAHHH! Gotta get ready for work and then I am heading to Moody to get my sweet girl...I miss that little thang! I had to put on some cartoons for a second last night so it would seem like she was around. What a sweet blessing!

Friday, September 28, 2007

without knowing

without old do you think I look? It really is not relevant but y'all....working in retail I get asked ALL of the time what school I go to... as in high school. Then tonight a lady told me she had a daughter my age...knowing that she clearly could not have a daughter my age I inquired about the daughter. She just graduated high school! LOL! Anyway, that is fine that people think just cracks me up. Then I had a lady the other night that I was helping and I told her that she looked familiar. She said, "well, I am in real estate and maybe your mom or someone has bought a house from me or something." I said no, I don't think so...but I have worked at this mall for 10 years so I am sure I have seen you here. She could not believe that I have been working for 10 years!! So funny! Then sometimes if I answer the door (which i usually don't) someone will ask if my mom is home. LOL!! I got carded yet again for night time cold medicine and I said really do I not look 18? She said no...and how am I supposed to know! I will take the youth while I can....

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


The Lord has been shedding His light on a past season of sin that I did not understand why I could not grasp the truth over. I wanted the truth but there were areas in my heart and mind that I was dealing with that were deceiving me. Without going into detail, I hope you can relate somehow to what I am talking about. I knew the truth of God's word but what I felt and how I acted were not in line with the truth. I can not tell you how I love the psalms and I can not begin to express what they mean to me. Anyway, I could literally write on some of these verses for hours and hours and I would lose everyone because maybe the Lord intends them just for me. I believe so much of my faultiness and the corner of deception in my mind was due to a lack of perspective (seeing the big picture). Perspective is very important in the life of a Christian. If we just decide to live for the here and now we will forfeit everything. I have to be very careful to not make constant "feeling" based decisions. Case in point: Rod and I were in a fight a couple of weeks ago and in my anger I sent him an ugly text message. The point was retaliation and I wanted to provoke a response in him. I am just being honest. Well, he just got the text yesterday. He forwarded it back to me and I called him and said, "You just got this?" To which he said, "yes Jenny and you need to stop doing those rash things in the heat of the moment...look how drastic you got in that text message." He was right and we laughed it off. Even when I sent the message I really didn't mean what I said but I just wanted him to respond. If I had the right perspective I would not have sent that message...but I was just plain walking in the flesh. The thing is that was sin for me. We are told in our anger not to sin. We are to be angry, but not to sin in our anger. I have prayed these verses for several years:
Psalm 90
12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 144:3-4
3 O LORD, what is man that you care for him, the son of man that you think of him?
4 Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.

James 4:14
14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

The point is that we only have one shot here. I want God to show me that each day may be my last. We are truly not promised tomorrow and if we live in this light it really does help us to keep perspective. Look at your relationships and the shape that they are that how you want them to be if you don't have tomorrow with that person? Do you want to continue to hold on to that grudge? To you want to keep your pride and refuse making amends because you are right? If you live that way, I promise you will live with a lot of regret. The Lord has been faithful to these prayers as if to constantly nudge me to make things right whether I am in the wrong or not. If I don't respond I will lose sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. I can't tell you the times I have woke Rod up to apologize to him even if I did not feel I was in the wrong, just so I would not let the sun go down on my anger. You can't control another persons anger, or whether or not they let the sun go down on their anger but you are responsible for yours. If you don't deal with yours you will give the enemy a foothold. That is a command with a promise.

So this past Sunday we celebrated 20 years of being in Hoover, Alabama as a church family. We just finished celebrating 100 years in the life of our church. We made a time capsule to be opened in 50 years and our church members were to write a letter to the people who would be opening the time capsule in 50 years. Well, this got me thinking and it brought me back to the above verses. I started really thinking about my life and the traps that I get into that are just one big fat waste of time. I can not believe how fast life is flying. We get one chance and are not promised another day...but one chance on this planet earth to impact others for Christ. To leave a legacy for Christ. In 50 even 100 years no one will care about my hair, my clothes, my hobbies, football teams, i-pods, my name. I am not saying that you should not take care of yourself or have hobbies but I am just guilty of getting distracted and pouring myself into things that don't matter and won't matter. I really started thinking last week about how the passages that speak of satan being cast down spoke of him being an angel and him becoming proud because of his beauty (Ezekial 28). Our economy is all about that. Looking young and beautiful and thin...and it really can turn to pride. Anyway, Proverbs clearly states that beauty is fleeting yet we pour ourselves into attaining that as women almost every day and then we are jealous of others when we feel like they are better than we are. Am I right? Take care of yourself and honor the Lord with your beauty but this should not be the thing that is all consuming in our lives. Another problem I think is so prevalent among the US is that we compare ourselves so much to others instead of bringing ourselves before the word and realizing that as Hebrews says
Hebrews 4:13
13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

While we think that something is okay for us because it is for someone else we really need to realize that everything is permissible but not beneficial and that we really are going to give an account. Also, I don't even want life to be so much about what kind of legacy I leave as much as was Christ revealed in me? Was my life about Him? Was He brought glory? If I make it so much about me leaving a legacy it puts the focus on me and takes my focus off of Christ. If I make it my utmost goal to focus on Christ, to know Him and to run after Him...I will not have to worry about leaving a legacy. If He is my perspective, I will live...not in perfection...but in light of eternity. I want this. I am so sinful left to myself. I was on the phone with a friend the other night, she knows me very well, and I said to her that I sure appreicate others encouraging me...but that I know how sinful I am left to my own demise and I don't buy my own press. Those were my exact words. If I take my focus off of Christ and live in the flesh...I am a put it nicely. An absolute accident waiting to happen...I know first hand!

I was reading Hebrews 11 the other morning and got to the end verses (they absolutely do me in) and I came to the part that says "the world was not worthy of them." These people were not perfect...but they had one thing in common...they chose to believe God. They were weak, yet in their weakness they were made strong. When we choose to put our focus on God and choose to discipline ourselves through knowing Him through the Word it will change us and we will be able to live in the power of the Spirit in a way that we can't on our own. The opposite is true as well. If we choose to just live for ourselves and feed our flesh...the world will be worthy of us alright. I love these verses speaking of their perspective:
Hebrews 11:15-16
15If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Listen you and I have the same opportunity we can return to our own land of slavery that God has delivered us from by choosing to live for the moment for what feels good. Or we can look continually by faith for a better country. I can not tell you how many times I get discouraged and I get in the word and my faith is renewed to go on and keep believing God...or my mind gets renewed. I can't tell you though the grace God has poured out on my life either. I know their have been times where I have disappointed Him and He would be ashamed to be called my God...were I have brought shame and reproach on His name. He takes us back and renews us thank God. If He kept a record of sins who could stand (Psalm 130)?

Below is my prayer that God would steal my focus, that you and I would have an undivided heart, that we would love Him wholly. That we would not settle for what is cheap. Oh how I have settled. Most all of my disobedience can be summed up in a lack of love for my Father because if we love Him 1 John says we will obey Him. Well, I am praying that His love will be made complete in me. I want to obey, I have sure suffered the consequences of disobedience.

Psalm 119:37
37 Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.

Turn our eyes from worthless things God...turn them to You through Your word.

The word for worthless things in the Hebrew is Saw meaning false, worthless, that which is in vain, sin iniquity, calamity, destruction. God please help us, give us focus. May it be said when we go to be with you that this world was not worthy of us.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Casting Crowns - East To West (Live) from Altar and the Door

please, please (I will beg you), please read

what cracks me up is I was led to read the hall of faith in Hebrews 11 this morning and then bam this was in my inbox! Gotta love how the Lord keeps driving it home with me. :)

from walk in the fave!

Faith Over Feelings

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Hebrews 11:1,6

If you’ve been around Walk in the Word a while, you’ve no doubt heard our favorite definition of faith: Faith is believing the Word of God and acting on it no matter how I feel because God promises a good result. This is critical to the Christian life. Faith discounts how we feel and boldly acts upon the Word of God.

I know a woman who wants more than anything to talk-talk-talk to her unbelieving husband about Christ. She’s having a hard time believing that she’s not a big part of his decision to come to Christ. She feels she must say something or he will never change. But faith discounts how we feel and boldly acts upon the Word of God. First Peter 3:1 says, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.” So she obeys the Word and keeps quiet.

The question for us is, “Will I do what God has asked me to do and trust Him to do the part that only He can do?” That’s a faith issue. We must choose to obey God even when we don’t feel like obeying. Do you ever have those situations when you could talk yourself out of obeying in eight different ways? But unless we want to be like roller-coaster Christians for the rest of our lives, we have to learn to obey even when the emotions aren’t there.

Emotions are wonderful things. In their rightful place, they bring color and fulfillment to our lives. As our servants, emotions can do much good, but when they become our “master” and start dictating our actions, we are headed for disaster. Think of your life as a train. Emotions make a lousy engine but a great caboose. Learning this truth has been a real point of victory for me. When I’m frustrated or anxious, I can choose to have faith no matter how I feel. If I feel like indulging myself, avoiding a problem, or nursing a personal slight, I must choose to ignore how I feel and cultivate faith instead. I must “believe the Word of God and act upon it no matter how I feel.” Why would I deny what comes most naturally to me? Because I choose to believe God instead.

Morgan is already in to customs! She loves her blankie head dress! LOL

Fun at the park

Morgan growling at the ducks... :)

Another day at the park

Me and Morgan sporting our pink.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Let's face it, it is super easy to get stuck on the ground in the muck and mire of "circumstance" in the day in and out of living on this planet called earth. I am not sure what life has dealt you, or what challenges you are facing (I hope you are facing them and not turning your back on them because that just breeds bigger problems) right now...but I am sure that God's word speaks to your situation. You may be experiencing health problems, financial crisis, loneliness, depression, you may have come out of a season where you took a great tumble into sin, you may be experiencing rejection, betrayal, problems at your workplace, there are just so many things that we face and what do we do with these things? Rod has a friend that Morgan is scared to death of and she saw him outside today and just hid under the covers in my bed. She just didn't want to deal with know what I mean. There are some things that I am scared of and some issues that I just don't want to have to face. I am so afraid of failure that sometimes I can literally freeze or just plain paralyze in fear. Like Morgan, I to want to just hide under the covers some days. I have heard a lot of messages on the "full armor of God" and the fact that we have no armor for our backside. The key to victorious living is only going to come with the power of the Holy Spirit and by putting on the "full armor" of God. Read for yourself:

Ephesians 6:10-18
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Growing up with a large family I was exposed to a lot of dysfunction. The bible is replete with dysfunctional families if anyone needs a point of reference just scan the book of Genesis for a start. One common denominator that I saw existed with certain people who seemed to have some mountainous problems was that they did not "deal with their stuff." I had a relative who was an alcoholic and I will never forget one night when life had just gotten to him and I saw him trying to take his life. When a problem arose he turned to the bottle to try to drown it out (please don't think this person was not a believer either...he was and he did have a heart for God). The alcohol was always a temporary fix and then guess not dealing with the problem...the problem just got bigger and bigger. It had a snowball affect. Starting out small at the top of a hill and by the time it rolled down the hill it was huge boulder of ice. I have done the same thing...just left certain things unchecked and turned my back on dealing with stuff and given the enemy an opportunity to come and pounce on me like prey that he was ready to devour. We can't blame everything on the enemy. Some of it is our own flesh...our own sinful nature. One area specifically that I think I have struggled with the most is rejection. I felt the sting of rejection from a VERY early age. Our biological father wanted nothing to do with us and at a young age I wondered why doesn't our daddy love us? I of course couldn't see then that it had nothing to do with me...he was just incapable of loving. Anyway, I have noticed a pattern in my life of self-protecting instead of allowing God to protect me. We are going to be hurt and we are going to face rejection it is just a fact. I have been dealing with this issue even today is why I am blogging this. I would make sure that I broke off every relationship in my past so I could know and feel that I was not rejected. And when the going got tough...I got going. I don't think I really knew that this is what I was doing but I did. I had to have the upper hand so that I could feel like I was in control and that no one was saying goodbye to me. Through hurt I would build walls around my heart...maybe a more accurate description would be fortresses. Anyway, one of the scariest things for me is to relinquish control of my heart to the Lord and trust Him. I am so willing to look like a fool to some if it may help a few so here goes with a very recent example. When I first held Shelby, my firstborn, in my arms it was one of the most heart wrenching moments of my life. I had to literally hold her as she died in my arms. My body was in shock literally, yet in those moments my heart was unlocked to feel something that I did not know I could feel...the love of a mother for her child. I never felt loved as a child so I did not know that I was capable of this capacity nor did I ever think I would be a mom. I was also faced with the fact that I may never be a mother. Well, after months of D-R-A-M-A (that is the only word I can find to describe the whirlwind of trials that I had to go through) on June 24th, 2005 at 11:38pm Morgan Hope made her way into this world. Sadly I guarded myself during the pregnancy just in case she too did not make it. Looking back I wish I would have believed God more during my pregnancy and doubted Him less over her arrival. I can not even begin to describe my feelings for this little 5 pound baby girl with pitch dark eyes. This five pound love of my life came in this world and took control of her mothers heart. The Lord has used this child to minister to my heart in more ways then you will EVER know. Grace, grace, grace...and hope fulfilled are a few words to describe it. Listen though, I stayed up for three days straight after having her I was so amazed that she was really here (we had several [SEVERAL] scares along the way that we would lose her to). I am talking I was so elated and after all I went through and all of the scares that we had she was finally here. Rod on the other hand was asleep an hour after we had her if that says anything about personalities. I love God's word because it says in Luke 2:19 "19But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." It does not mention Joseph doing this just to show you a difference in gender. I am not saying that men don't but I am saying that women seem to cherish the tender things in life. Morgan was brought to my room after everyone had left and they told me that her temperature was really low and that I needed to warm her up by placing her on my chest so she could draw off of my warmth. As she lay there on my chest...I can not tell you the host of emotions and feelings for this tiny little creation that surged through my fact I thought that I just may go into cardiac arrest my heart was pounding so hard over that little thing. I completely one hundred percent had my heart opened to love this child in all of the fullness that I know how in my earthly tent...and it is one of the scariest yet most wonderful things that I have ever known. Since then the Lord has used her to show me "hey think you love Morgan...well, that is not even a drop in the bucket compared to how I love you." He loves us so much more than our human minds and hearts can even take. Yet we search the world over in vain to find the love that we can only find in Christ. So, now she is 2 and I am already having to constantly turn her over to the Lord. One of the worst things I could ever do is not love my child for fear of rejection or loss. The other day I had a horrible fear wash over me. Here is the part where I get foolish. My child is an escape artist. Well, I had envisioned (imaginations) that she might somehow escape from the playground, run out into the road, and get hit by a car. I know you may think I am crazy now. Anyway, I had decided that I was going to be led of the Spirit to not take her to Mothers Day Out that day because I just knew that if I could watch her that this fear would not become reality. Then I had Psalm 121:4 wash over me.

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

It was if the Lord was saying in my Spirit "Jenny, I will watch her. Remember me the ONE who does not even need sleep...I never stop watching or tending. Cast your anxieties on me. Show me where worrying has ever gotten you...did it control anything that you thought needed to be controlled?" No sir.

So, I took her to Mothers Day Out and I would lie to you if I told you the thought did not occur to me to do a drive by of the playground just to make sure there were no escapee children (named Morgan). Maybe the Lord wanted to use me in that way...just kidding. Here is the thing fear and wanting to protect her that day were rooted in a lack of trust. We can not live lives that hull up like hermits for fear of getting hurt or something happening. Case in point. Shelby's life was taken from us and I never ever had that fear cross my mind...yet it happened. The things that happen in life are going to happen. Yes we need to exercise caution and be filled with the Spirit but we also have to acknowledge continually who is in control. I literally shook my head that day and thought man oh man what has this little one done to me? I love her so much and it scares me that I can love someone that much and that they can be taken from me.

The enemy of our souls wants us to allow all manner of unforgiveness, hurt, rejection, bitterness, and the like to take root in us. He wants us to leave the gardens of our hearts untended until we have bitter roots and weeds growing all over the place choking the life out of us. So what do we do when we are faced with a decision to guard our own hearts? They need guarding but God as the watchman on the wall. Not us. We are prone to cut people off and close ourselves away to keep from feeling. We can be scared to death of pain so we just want to shut down. We choose to keep believing God. To keep entrusting our hurts and our hearts to Him. We have to or we will live miserable lives that are cold and calloused. In choosing to bring the hurts to Him we will know the Healer. He is the only one that can fulfill the deep longings of our soul and He is the only one who can truly heal us. Keep getting up and asking to be filled with the Spirit. Keep bringing your brokenness to Him. I am doing the same and I promise He is faithful. Keep walking in the full armor of God and DO NOT turn your back on the enemy because your backside is not covered and he is an opportunist. He wants to gain ground with you. Do not let the power of the Spirit is your victory!

Heal us, O LORD, and we will be healed! Save us and we will be saved...for YOU are the ONE we praise!!!!

Jeremiah 17:14
14 Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed;
save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Stop, Collaborate and Listen...Jenny's back with a new rendition!

Yes...this is my blog! I have been debating on a change and this is brighter and more fun! I did lose a lot of my stuff so if I don't have you on my blog roll leave me a message so I can link to you. :)


I read this last night from Pastor James MacDonald's blog. It is so what I needed re a situation. I thought you all might enjoy it!

Dealing with Life's InjusticesPosted by James MacDonald on September 14, 2007 02:06 AM

Can't sleep. Up in the middle of the night over something that has happened that I'm struggling to let go of. Tossing and turning, talking to silent faces that don't respond to my well-reasoned, imagined presentations. I have been the recipient of an action that is 100% wrong. I didn't ask for it, I didn't deserve it, and I didn't see it coming. It's not right, it's not defensible, and it's most certainly unbiblical. It hurts my heart, it wounds my sense of fairness, and I can do absolutely nothing to change it. If I press for justice or at least vindication, I risk further misunderstanding and will only make matters worse. Those few who could step in and force a reconciliation are content to be passive and protect their own interests. . . Hmmmmm . . . Time to preach to myself!!!
What would Jesus do?
Hebrews 12:3, "Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Ok, yes, Jesus was falsely accused and much more and yet, "when he was reviled he did not revile in return." He was silent in the face of His accusers. Hmmmm. . . Well, too late for silence, but I can at least regroup and be silent going forward. I can, with God's help absolutely seal my lips and refuse to rally support for my cause or draw anyone else into the issue. Yes, silence; that seems right! But what about my cause? What about my reputation? What about justice?
More preaching to myself needed . . .
1 Peter 2:23a, "Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not." I know, I know, Jesus was silent, but that's not easy, especially not, as in my case where the issue involves total pagans. They don't believe as I do. They don't go to my church, read the same Book, or follow the same rules. How will this matter ever be set right if I just fold completely? Who's gonna handle this . . . ?
1 Peter 2:23a, "but committed himself to him that judges righteously." Yes, that's it. I believe there is a God of perfect justice who sees and keeps track of everything that happens. I don't need to fight for my rights, or demand a hearing or set the record straight. I don't need to fight for fairness or insist that others are held accountable, I need to commit the whole matter 100% to God and wait for Him to vindicate in His time and way. Romans 12:19, "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,' says the Lord."
OK, but what do I do with all these feelings welling up inside me? Oh, here comes another Scripture. James 2:13a, "For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy." Yes, that's it! Even though my flesh cries out for justice and the righting of all wrongs, in my spirit I know that I am following a master who has shown me a better way. The people in this situation are expecting a response of demanded rights, and push back about fairness, etc., etc. Because I know that I will account to God for every action I take, because I want the mercy of Christ for me and my family in that final day, I want to show mercy whenever possible. I want to withhold from others what they may deserve and give them grace instead. I have received so much grace, how could I not extend it to others?
Yep, that's it for sure. James 2:13b, "Mercy triumphs over judgment." That's what I should do, that's what I want to do, that's what . . . hmmm, with God's help I'm gonna do. I'm gonna write the matter off to the ultimate justice of God and show mercy to those involved.
I promise, Lord :)
Ok, back to bed. If I was smarter I would have settled this before I went to sleep. Psalm 127:2, "It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep."
I'll be snoring in 5 minutes. God is good!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Give Him Some Praise

Psalm 61:1-3
1 Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.

Today is Thursday so lets give Him some praise (oh if you are not familiar this is the day where I have my blog "thang" and you can share a verse or praise or whatever)! I want to just take a moment to share about how alive and active Jesus is. I began to get in a slump over not having "homework" and I prayed about the current word that the Lord would have for me to hear in this season. I did not want to go and make a purchase so I prayed that the Lord would just have a study show up at my door. He is big enough. So, I went downstairs and scanned the bookshelf for a workbook that I may have not used yet. I picked out two and decided on "Jesus the One and Only" again I really should move on to something else but I just love these studies. So, I can't even tell you how thrilled my heart is to be back in the New Testament for a time. I have been making my abode in the Old Testament with frequent visits to the New Testament for a while. Back to my prayer...I come home on Tuesday (prayed that prayer Monday) and what do you know..."When Godly People Do Ungodly Things" was returned to my door. I was like Lord not again...a hard I guess I will be listening to the audio of that again. I have some work to do with Jesus as always...but isn't that just hilarious. Pray and expect an answer.

Your responses to my incident cracked me up! I started to research concussions last night and I had some news for Roderick this morning! He cracked up when I told him this and I quote: "Rod, if I am irritable, have crying spells, or am confused it will be because I have a concussion." To which he replies, "babe, you are always like that (as he turns around with a smile on his face)." Then I yell, "When do I cry!" "See you are irritable!", he says. "It's just the concussion...LOL!" No but really sometimes I can be such an idiot I was saying the dumbest stuff last night at work. It was like the lights were on but no one was home. I think that is just plain lack of sleep.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I am okay

Seriously, I have issues. Depth perception issues is one of them. Anyway, I had just put Morgan in her car seat earlier and went to open my car door and I felt like I had the living daylights knocked out of me. I had opened the door in my face. I have a huge knot on my forehead seriously. I saw stars and I wondered what just happened as I struggled to keep consciousness. I leaned forward in the seat to catch my breath for a minute. The neighbor next door would not have known if I was dead or alive because he works hard at not making eye contact. Anyway, I am okay...don't worry. I just thought...who does this stuff? gotta take a nap before I have to go to work.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The aging of your pits!

One thing I will promise you about my blog is that you will never know what to expect...LOL! I was just putting on some deodorant and I was thinking about the new Dove Pro-Age deodorant. This may just be plain ignorance on my part but I was not aware that we needed to be concerned about the aging of our arm pits. Seriously? Do I just need to get clued in or is this another sales tool? I started to do a double take in the mirror and I think maybe my arm pits are looking old...ha ha! We need to be worried about growing old in a pit of sin but not our arm pits aging...surely?!?!? If you have it...does it work? I am a fan of some dove for real.

Monday, September 17, 2007


We are busting out into some praise this afternoon to our God. Seriously, we just needed to turn off the sprout tv and listen to our praise mix. We are listening to the "Found" cd by Travis Cotrell right now. I caught Morgan lifting her hands at the table while she was eating. We are demonstrative (me and her) she learns it from her mother. She is already a d-r-a-m-a queen. I catch her making all of these expressions and sounds around the house and I think to do I wonder where she gets that! LOL! Anyway, I could not get the camera in time for her moment of praise. I am not sure if she was in to the song or if she was praising God for the fall little debbie! Either way give Him the Praise! She was trying to sing along to You fill up my senses. I was about to crack up because she still can't talk. The Lord was just ordaining some praise from her today. I have sooooooooo much to do today but I wanted to share a couple of things.
Yesterday I woke up and things just did not get off to a good start. I found myself about to lose it over the house and just being physically and mentally exhausted. So I did what most people do...I complained over it. I began to just lose energy if you know what I mean. Then, I went to work and out of like 15 customers that I greeted not one (NOT ONE) of them said hello back. It wasn't because they did not hear me. It is just the level of rudeness. Especially when you get in a higher end retail store you begin to deal with clients that are a little more snooty (not all of them are that way)...especially on Sunday. Anyway, I was shocked at the rudeness yesterday. So, I get off of work and go to the store to get diapers. Walmart was PACKED out. Well, I was tired so I just found a line and parked for a while and rested as I waited. I listened and heard people grumble and complain...and complain...and complain...and you get the picture. I listened as people counted the registers that were opened and complained that out of all of those registers only fourteen were in use...the horror of it all. I mean look out Walmart "so and so" was in the store and they must have not gotten the memo when making out the schedule. Anyway, I led the study Daniel by Beth Moore twice at our church and one of the biggest awarenesses that it created in me was the whole "Babylonian mentality." The mentality of have it your way now. You should not have to are...well, of course, you! Life is all about you! I saw this in myself a lot as well. The me first attitude. I want to be done with that!
So I turn open to the wonderful book of Exodus and guess what the Lord would have me read about this morning: the Israelites grumbling and complaining against Moses. I wish I had time to talk about Exodus 15-17 but I am afraid I would lose everyone reading this. Anyway, the Lord delivers the Israelites with a MIGHTY hand and OUTSTRETCHED arm. Go read the song of Moe and Miriam in Exodus 15 for yourself as a recap. I love these verses so much:
11 "Who among the gods is like you, O LORD ?
Who is like you—
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory,
working wonders?
13 "In your unfailing love you will lead
the people you have redeemed.
In your strength you will guide them
to your holy dwelling.
In Exodus 15 you get the recap of what the LORD did for His chosen people. He is so stinking powerful it is not even funny. Just read the verses. I am ashamed at the limitations that I put on God. I love the word picture the following verses give us concerning the Awesomeness of Almighty God (esp. in verse 9 where I can picture the sea piling up like a congealed bowl of jello!...then God blows His breath and destroys the Egyptians who trusted in their horses and chariots to save them...yet the Israelites walk across the sea on dry ground...this REALLY's not some fairy tail!):
8 By the blast of your nostrils
the waters piled up.
The surging waters stood firm like a wall;
the deep waters congealed in the heart of the sea.

9 "The enemy boasted,
'I will pursue, I will overtake them.
I will divide the spoils;
I will gorge myself on them.
I will draw my sword
and my hand will destroy them.'

10 But you blew with your breath,
and the sea covered them.
They sank like lead
in the mighty waters.

So, the Israelites have this MIGHTY deliverance and what do they do? They forget obviously and go back to their complaining skills. I say skills because complaining is something that we are mighty skilled at. In the same passage of scripture they start complainin'! The water is bitter. I am not saying that we don't have circumstances that are worth complaining is plain hard. I was teaching a lesson a few years ago about worry and as I was researching the words in the passage of 1 peter 5:7 about casting our anxiety on Him because He cares for us...I learned that the greek word for cast meant to throw get rid of. Picture a bug or something landing on your face and you picking that thing off and casting it away as far as you can (and screaming like a girl). That is what we are to do with our anxiety. Not having water for three days is a problem that the Israelites had but complaining was not the answer, and complaining was going to get them nowhere in a hurry...yet complaining was what they defaulted to. Plus the Lord had used their circumstances over and over to test them. He does the same for you and me and unfortunately we won't be free from that in this skin. When I saw over and over that the Israelites complained and they grumbled against each other and to Moses and Aaron and they even went as far as to say that they wished they were back in Egypt and had died there (I am paraphrasing Exo 16) because at least they weren't going to starve to death. I think we can be the same way. We may be delivered from much and our walk with Christ gets hard and we wish we were back in our own personal lands of slavery. Sin in its deceitfulness makes us think it was better when the Lord is trying to get us to a better place but we are missing it for all of our griping and complaining. When I looked up the word grumble in the Hebrew in the context of these several chapters and the word means what you think to grumble and complain, but get this it means to blame!!!! Did you hear that?!?! TO BLAME! So much of our complaining comes from a lack of trust and lack of prayer and refusal to cast our anxieties at the feet of Jesus. I am NOT saying I have mastered this. I have certainly gotten into patterns of complaining to others as if they could do something and it just became a cycle of frustration because yes they could pray for me but until I took the anxiety to Jesus there was nothing they could really do. Go back to the garden with me for a second. Adam was given the command not to eat of the fruit and he did...and what did he do when God asked him about it? He blamed Eve. He said the woman He gave him made him eat of the fruit. I have been in a situation with someone who just constantly complains to me and I feel stuck like I can't do anything right. Well, as I have been studying these passages the Lord has been getting in my business and I have been trying to see what I need to learn. First, I need to stop all forms of complaining by turning my grumbling into prayers. When I feel myself going there I need to pray about it and acknowledge what I don't have control over and cast things off to God. Back to my situation. This person that has been complaining is not a person that God is calling me to cut out of my life...but I can't control whether they ever own up to their own responsibilities or not or whether this person quits blaming me for everything. What I have done is gotten sucked into the trap of well this person is complaining so it justifies my complaining. The Lord has told me clearly today to stop it. Whether this person does or not...STOP IT! Also, as a woman I take on too much responsibility. I am working with the Lord on not taking responsibility where I am clearly not responsible. We need to look at the amount of stress on our lives and see if we are carrying responsibility that the Lord has not called us to carry and unload those burdens. The world will not fall apart if we quit managing a few things. It is taking some renewing of the mind when this person wants to cast blame on me and responsibility on me that is not mine. It is a freeing thing to say you know what God you are in control of this and this is what you have called me to...this is what you are not calling me to....and I am going to have to let go of some things even when others are trying to condemn and control me...and rest in You and listen for Your voice. Even when things are hard and you don't know how you are going to make and I would be wise to learn from the Israelites mistakes. We need to praise God for the things He has done. The times where He came through and it had nothing to do with our faithfulness. The times where He provided for us. They forgot constantly. He rained manna from heaven...they complained. He made the bitter water sweet...they complained. Long story short...I looked at the woman at the checkout last night and I said, "Ma'am I am so sorry for all of the whining and complaining that you are having to hear tonight. For whatever reason we think that life is all about us and it is not! We all need to have to wait a little more and complain a little less. I am so guilty." I got some news last night about a woman who just lost her only son in a car accident...he was 25. Then another lady was telling me about a tumor in her brain, another with leukemia, and another with lung cancer. There are people I know with marriages in turmoil and on the verge of breaking up. I guess it is good for me to get out and not be so stuck in my own problems that I can't differentiate between a real problem and something that is petty. The enemy wants us to be petty people who are not affective and people who waste our lives. Let's prove him wrong.

Devotional by Dr. James MacDonald

God is Good Even When Life is Bad

Then the king commanded Ashpenaz, his chief eunuch, to bring some of the people of Israel, . . . youths without blemish, of good appearance and skillful in all wisdom, endowed with knowledge, understanding learning, and competent to stand in the king's palace, and to teach them the literature and language of the Chaldeans. Among these were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah of the tribe of Judah. And the chief of the eunuchs gave them names: Daniel he called Belteshazzar, Hananiah he called Shadrach, Mishael he called Meshach, and Azariah he called Abednego. But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food
Daniel 1:3-9

When things are going smoothly in your life, you might not find it hard to believe that God is good. But if life takes a bad turn and something devastating happens, you might ask, “How could a good God allow this?” If you know that kind of pain, then you can empathize with Daniel.

Across the pages of Scripture that detail Daniel’s life from teenager to old man, you can write “sovereignty at work.” God was directing his life whether he saw it at the time or not.
Do you know his story? One bright day in Jerusalem when Daniel was just a teenager, he was captured as a POW and was ripped away from everything warm and familiar. Daniel’s enemies were working a cruel strategy. They singled out the best young people—the All-American teenagers voted MVP and ‘Most Likely to Succeed’ and brought them to their capital city near modern-day Kuwait. Their plan was to brainwash these kids with their culture and make them leaders. Daniel was given a foreign name, Belteshazzar, forced to learn a new language, and was given a new diet.

Had Daniel decided what God was like by looking at his circumstances, he would have become a disillusioned, confused, angry, young man. Kidnapped from his homeland, forced into slavery, most likely castrated to become a eunuch in the palace, Daniel’s eyes were still on God. Don’t gloss over these facts like they’re from some made-for-TV movie—this story is true in every detail. Imagine the suffering connected with his circumstances, yet Daniel went through the fire . . . successfully. This certainly gives us hope that we can make it through our firestorm, too.

No doubt a situation comes to mind right now from either your past or the present. You may wonder how a God of love could have allowed some painful, wrong injustice. Yet I would bet on the fact that you’ve not come full circle yet. There will be a day when you will look back and see how God’s sovereign hand was at work. Truth is, He is in the center of the situation that troubles your heart right now. He’s right in the middle of it. Just because you can’t see Him, doesn’t mean He isn’t there. Look for Him, trust Him—He is at work.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

This just got me thinkin'

I came home from work tonight and immediately smelled a not so pleasing, all permeating, greasy smell. I can not stand fried food in my home. Nope can't stand it. And for those of you that thought I couldn't tie fried food into my scriptures I am fixin' to do it. I bust open the door to the den...sniff sniff...what is that smell? I ask Rod. What smell? He replies. It may be the dirty diaper I took out...he says. Nope thats not it. Oh it must be the fried chicken from earlier. You can't be smelling that, I cleaned it up hours ago. I have the nose of a hunting dog people! LOL! Anyway, it got me thinking. That smell permeated the whole house. It is lingering as we speak. I am worrying as I type that it may "get into the clothes". Anyway, it made me think about what kind of reprensentation I am putting out there for Christ. How am I doing? I can't even begin to tell you how many times I blow it. I want to be the pleasing fragrance that spreads Christ spoken of in 2 Corinthians 2:14-15
14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 15For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.

I was cleaning and I felt as if the Lord spoke these words in my spirit regarding the matter of obedience: Jenny you can either proclaim my name by the way you live or you can profane it.


You can see yourself as washed and holy, set apart for my use...washed in the blood. Or you can use your vessel for your own purpose and profane your temple and forfeit the blessing that comes from obedience. YOU CHOOSE. (I am not talking about just se*ual sin before anyone starts thinking that....I am talking about anything that causes us to operate as less than the child of God that we are.)
So how are we doing? Are we proclaiming or profaning Him by our actions?


Leviticus 22:32
32 Do not profane my holy name. I must be acknowledged as holy by the Israelites. I am the LORD, who makes you holy

or Proclaim...

Psalm 64:9
9 All mankind will fear; they will proclaim the works of God and ponder what he has done.
Psalm 22:31
31 They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn— for he has done it.

Can I have a ride?

To tell this or not to tell this...that is the question. Leaving the mall... 9:45 pm sketchy girl approaches my car sporting an "addicted to pot" (I guess like pot the drug) shirt and asks for a ride. To which I reply no...because homegirl was clearly high and clearly invading my space bubble. Step away from my car I wanted to tell her.
Homegirl: "Why not"
Me: "why don't you go in the mall and ask security for a ride?"
Homegirl: "If you don't give me a ride I will have to be here until 10pm"
Me: "Well, it looks like you have 15 more minutes"
Me: "Why don't you ask the mall to give you a ride?"
Homegirl: "No because if I ask the mall they will get security involved and I don't need all of that right now."
Me: "Well, if you don't need mall security getting involved, you sure don't want me giving you a ride."

R-A-N-D-O-M jenny-ness! Seriously. I know you may be thinking what would Jesus do...
I just was not led of the Spirit to give her a ride.

Friday, September 14, 2007

A Tip

Just a little tip. My dishes were not getting very clean (after rinse aid and everything). So, Jenny decided to use a little Dawn in the dishwasher. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I did not even dare tell Rod. There were bubbles EVERYWHERE coming out of the dishwasher. A little soap goes a long way. LOL!!!!

Our Calling

The book of Jeremiah has been so important to me in the last couple of years. It has called me back to the side of my Father I am not sure how many times. Anyway, after I finished studying this morning I felt really drawn to several points in Jeremiah 17. I believe based on the word of God that as New Testament believers you and I have a calling in Christ. We are called to know Him and make Him known and of course we are called to "go and make disciples" but I believe that we have a "promised land" that God wants us to operate in. Let me go into a little story real quick. Back when Beth Moore came to Birmingham she spoke on "Making a Pact for High Impact For This Generation." Well, she told us to go home and pray about where we had been in our past, where we were now with God, and where we saw ourselves going on with God (more like what is the desire of our hearts with the way that God has gifted us spiritually speaking). So I went home that Friday night and did my homework. That morning it was POURING and I mean pouring down rain, and I lost my tickets and everything to the event. I later found them but I think the enemy wanted to do anything to keep me from getting there. So that morning I prayed and asked the Lord to put something on my heart to pray regarding the calling that I felt He had placed on my life. Nothing mystical but I just wanted His confirmation and I feel that I was prompted by Him to pray that prayer. So I prayed that if I was called to a teaching ministry that she would specifically call me out of the crowd of 18,000 women and that I would know that it was Him calling me to that. I felt Him say in my spirit "ask anything in my Name child and I will do it!" So anyway, Beth was teaching on Ephesians and how much we matter to God. She was in the middle of talking about how we think God does not notice us and how He does notice us...we matter to Him...then she sees me and says "you are the one that lost the baby..." she calls me out of the crowd and I told everyone what I had prayed. It cracked me up because I knew already that God was going to answer my prayer so much so that I made sure that I looked cute just in case she called me out! LOL! Anyway, the point is...God wants us to walk in His way and live and operate effectually in the area of our calling. God is still maturing me and growing me for that purpose but He confirmed His plan for me that day. Now what I want to get to is the scripture in Jer 17. and several points that I thought of when I was reading this morning: 1. we do have a calling in Christ 2. We can forfeit that calling 3. What can we do to get back on track with God after we have blown it? 4. How can we stay operating effectively where God has called us?

Let's face it we live in a fallen world and if you are like me you are prone to leave the God that you love. I can not tell you how many times I have strayed from the God I love. The only way we are going to be made right with God is to return to Him. He is the only one that can truly cure us of our our backsliding. The things we thought would cure us I am sure we found out the hard way that they were temporary and they ended up having a strong hold on us that left us more desperate than before. So He beckons us to come to Him and return and He will cure us. God will use anything to get us to return to Him. He is loving but He is just. He does not deal with us as our sins deserve but our sins still have repercussions or we would never learn.

Jeremiah 3:22a
22 "Return, faithless people;
I will cure you of backsliding."

The word for backsliding here is a word meaning waywardness or apostasy. The Old Testament speaks over and over of the Israelites being delivered and the great things that God did for them and yet they wandered and bowed down to idols and left God to in essence worship the enemy through their idolatry.

God offers the same invitation to us to return to Him. We will be lovingly disciplined yet He wants us to return.

Jeremiah 4:1
1 "If you will return, O Israel,
return to me,"
declares the LORD.
"If you put your detestable idols out of my sight
and no longer go astray,

I believe we need to do the same thing that the Lord called them to do in Jeremiah 4:1. Put the detestable idols out of His sight. Rid ourselves of the things that have separated us from our God. We can't be too drastic or serious when it comes to this. I was reading last night in Luke 16 about the rich man and Lazarus. Verse 25 really spoke volumes to me:
25"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony.
I really believe that so much of our own idolatry is the fact that we look around and say "you know what God you are holding out on us. In my marriage God you are holding out on is not giving me what I need. Lord, this waiting on You in my finances and denying myself, it is not working. This serving You and giving up my time is getting me nowhere." Would you agree? Think about it. In your own efforts to help yourself out by meeting your own temporary lusts where you focused on what was seen or what was unseen? I think that is what the rich man was about in Luke 16. He was going to live for himself, bow to this world, he was his own god, and that is the way it was going to be. In the end...he forfeited EVERYTHING. You and I will forfeit blessing, reward, and living in the full measure of our calling if we choose to bow down to the idols and gratify self. It starts out small and then we have a giant on our hands that we can no longer maintain. It is just the way sin is. We think we can just manage it and then we have a beast on our hands.
One thing I have had a hard time remembering after I have blown it is that I am no longer a slave to sin. I do not have to continue to live the way I did before I was redeemed. I was bought at a price and there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).

Idolatry and going at fulfilling our desires on our own=shame (every time)

Romans 6:20-22
When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.

Now let me see if I can get on to Jeremiah 17 some time today!

You and I have a calling in Christ. The enemy will do everything he can to keep you and me from operating and fulfilling our calling!

Here are a few verses supporting a calling:

Ephesians 4:1
1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

2 Thessalonians 1:11
With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.

Hebrews 3:1
[ Jesus Greater Than Moses ] Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.

The word calling in Ephesian 4:1 is "Klesis- meaning to call, invitation, a call, a bid, or summons. A vocation, employment...."
So you and I have a literal vocation as ambassadors of The Christ. I know from experience that you will not find true satisfaction and purpose until you are fulfilling your vocation. For whatever reason I am in a season of waiting. I am not serving other than facilitating a bible study but I am having to trust and wait on Him because I am one to pry open a door that He may not mean for me to take. I began to get proud and find my worth in Jenny the Sunday school teacher instead of my identity being hidden in Him. My worth began to be tied up in what I did instead of who I was in Christ so I know the Lord called me out to wait on Him and see that I could grow and learn and my worth was not tied up in a class.

I have not even gotten started on this...but I have got to go start getting ready for work. boo! I am going to resume when I get ready :). I can really ramble on!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Y'ALL!! My modem is broken so I have not been able to post...oh the horror of it all! Just wanted to let you know why I have been missing. Also, the headache went away...and I was so thankful! I know it does not seem like a big deal...but it just scared me from having meningitis in the past.

I want to recommend the book "Downpour" by James MacDonald. You will not be disappointed!!! Gotta run! More to come :)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


This is a song that i loved when I was in high school. So good. Anyway, it is by DC Talk. If you have never heard it it is so good. I don't know why I just thought of it...I have not heard this in years! I just started singing it and can't get it out of my head. ps I am about to go to "Wising Up" I am having A LOT of muscular pain and a severe headache. It scares me everytime I get one I think...what if this is spinal meningitis again. I just really feel bad so I could use some extra prayers!

What If I Stumble?[the greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is christians who acknowledge jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.]

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?
Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame
Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need your love in their lives
Compromise is calling
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road you’ve carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar
Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I’m feeling
(repeat chorus)
What if I stumble?
Everyone’s got to crawl when you know that
You’re up against a wall, it’s about to fall
Everyone’s got to crawl when you know that (2x)
I hear you whispering my name [you say]
"my love for you will never change" [never change]
(repeat chorus 2x)
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my god
Is this one for the people, is this one for the lord? What If I Stumble?

Isaiah 46

Gods of Babylon
1 Bel bows down, Nebo stoops low;
their idols are borne by beasts of burden. [a]
The images that are carried about are burdensome,
a burden for the weary.

2 They stoop and bow down together;
unable to rescue the burden,
they themselves go off into captivity.

3 "Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all you who remain of the house of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,
and have carried since your birth.

4 Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

5 "To whom will you compare me or count me equal?
To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?

6 Some pour out gold from their bags
and weigh out silver on the scales;
they hire a goldsmith to make it into a god,
and they bow down and worship it.

7 They lift it to their shoulders and carry it;
they set it up in its place, and there it stands.
From that spot it cannot move.
Though one cries out to it, it does not answer;
it cannot save him from his troubles.

8 "Remember this, fix it in mind,
take it to heart, you rebels.

9 Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.

10 I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.

11 From the east I summon a bird of prey;
from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.
What I have said, that will I bring about;
what I have planned, that will I do.

12 Listen to me, you stubborn-hearted,
you who are far from righteousness.

13 I am bringing my righteousness near,
it is not far away;
and my salvation will not be delayed.
I will grant salvation to Zion,
my splendor to Israel.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Not so deep thoughts-by Jenny

Hosea 6:1;6
1 "Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces
but he will heal us;
he has injured us
but he will bind up our wounds.
For I desire mercy, not sacrifice,
and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

I have had one of those wasted days. I just didn't get much of anything accomplished. I can't stand those kind of days. The other night I got home from work, propped my feet up, and began to do what I do...sort my skittles. I am such a creature of habit. I go to the same stores, the same gas station, I travel the same paths, eat the same foods, so much so that it is ridiculous. Frequenting the same stores though is really in the name of building relationships and having opportunities to share with others. But as I sat down to sort skittles I thought to myself, "Jenny, what are you doing? You don't even want skittles or have a taste for them!" It has been a habit for me so I just defaulted into what I normally do. I think that is the same way for us with our sin. We just default back to the old man. Help us Lord. I know lately I have been seeking God over certain areas that I need victory in and when I default back into that old way I believe the lie that I will never get the victory and I sort of give up and settle for low living. That is exactly what the enemy wants me to believe...that I will keep failing and that I will never get the victory. Well, he is a stinking liar! There is NO truth in him and there never has been...he is the father of lies and I am quite sick of him. Ok I am gettin' mad!
Lasting change doesn't always happen over night, so let's just quit with the constant condemnation and defeat, and let's press on to know God. What if we also got into some really good making His word absolute priority, seeking him above all others...what if we prayed more, worried less, and I could go on. But what if we let His word dwell so richly in us that we defaulted to Spirit filled living. That is what I want.

Mail Order

Yesterday at work I saw a real live mail order bride from Russia. Seriously, it was so obvious. I asked the man where his wife was from and he said Russia. I knew that already before he said it. He kept making her try on clothes and seemed very controlling (at one point I thought he was about to get on in the dressing room with her...scary). You could just tell that the two of them would have never gotten together in the US. I am sorry. I feel really fortunate to live in the United States. I can't imagine the desperate lengths that some will go through to get to the land of the free, we really take it for granted. Anyway, I wanted to slip a little note in her shopping bag that she could run away (to my house) to get away from that kind of weird control...but I didn't. I just felt sorry for the would have had to have been there. I have worked at the mall for ten years and you would not believe the things I have seen and heard. I am going to write a Seinfeld type of show about some of my adventures one day!

The little princess who likes all things clothes.

Me and Morgan after a really long day for me: church, work, church, and then I had to meet up with my family. My mom bought Morgan a bunch of clothes from a consignment sale and I brought them all home. Morgan (which is just like her mother) loves all things clothes and shoes. If you know me though you will know that I get some major dealios. Anyway, she began to take her jammies off to try on her new things! LOL! What two year old usually cares? She does! She gets it honest. I just went and checked on her in her room (my child does not her mother there too) and she just fell asleep. She is so precious and I can't thank God enough for her. I never knew I could be a mom and it has been more than I could have ever imagined in a good way. I have been through some really hard times in the last several years and Morgan is a sweet gift...and some good company. She is my little buddy. We truly have some much fun... and she keeps me honest. We nearly laughed till we cried tonight at some of her dance moves. Before that she about splashed me to death with her bath time excursion. She is so funny! I caught her doing stretches along with the goodnight show (sprout) LOL!!!! She also shares a bowl of lactose free breyers homeade vanilla almost nightly. It is not as fun eating it by yourself!

(her clothes are all over the floor...morgan style)

Here she is Mrs. America...I had to try on the crown for the little princess to wear it.

her trying on her new clothes

Practicing for Winter!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Come On!

Please if you went to deeper still this weekend...I want to hear about it.
Also, I was reading my bible study this morning and got the reminder to feed the Spirit and starve the flesh. I think we could all use a little more of that! :) Gotta go to work!

Friday, September 7, 2007

I wish I were kidding

So today Morgan and I went to pick up my paycheck and we walked around for a while for some exercise. I did the mall walking she strolled. Anyway, as we were getting in the car (which can be a lengthy process...putting the stroller up and wrestling Morgan into her seat) this guy came running near our car. I just knew this was not going to be good. He had just finished shop lifting and was going to hide by MY car. I DON'T THINK SO! Immediately everything in me rose to the occasion of mother hen. I was going to make sure this guy didn't get any ideas of trying to get in my car. Anyway, this other guy comes chasing after the shop lifter (and he is on the phone with the police) and since I figured something was up I asked the guy if he was looking for someone and he said I told him the guy was hiding next to my car. Homey don't play that. I was not scared for a minute...praise the Lord. Anyway, I helped them follow the guy through the parking deck until I saw him run back in the mall. I followed him with my car...not in person. Anyway, then a few seconds ago I walked outside to get Morgans cup and a cat darted out at me and began to hiss. SCARED ME TO DEATH! I still have not calmed down from reaching my target heart rate. Crazy isn't it!!

D. James Kennedy

Founder and Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church Succumbs to Complications from Cardiac Arrest

FT. LAUDERDALE, Sept. 5 – Dr. D. James Kennedy, founder and senior pastor for 48 years of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church (CRPC) in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., passed away peacefully in his sleep at approximately 2:15 a.m. at his home with his wife and daughter by his bedside, following complications from a cardiac event last December. He was 76. Dates and times for a public viewing and funeral and private interment will be released when available.
“There are all kinds of wonderful things I could say about my dad,” said daughter Jennifer Kennedy Cassidy. “But one that stands out is his fine example. He ‘walked the walk’ and ‘practiced what he preached.’ His work for Christ is lasting – it will go on and on and make a difference for eternity.”
Dr. Kennedy, who is survived by Anne, his wife of 51 years, and his daughter Jennifer (Kennedy) Cassidy, preached his last sermon from the pulpit of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church on Christmas Eve Sunday 2006. He suffered a cardiac arrest four days later on Dec. 28, and has since been unable to return to the pulpit. The church announced his retirement on Aug. 26, beginning a process to choose his successor, and had planned a tribute worship service honoring the extensive ministry of Dr. Kennedy on Sept. 23.
“I would like to thank all of you for your prayers, cards, kindnesses and encouragement over the past nine months,” Mrs. Cassidy said during the retirement announcement. “Our family knows that we have come through this difficult time because of God’s grace and your faithful prayers, and it has brought joy to us to see God’s faithfulness in all of this.”
While hindered by persistent health problems that included asthma, as well as chronic and often severe physical pain from compressed vertebrae due to an injury suffered as a young man, Dr. Kennedy was indefatigable in his ministry work. He said on several occasions how much he looked forward to being free from pain in heaven. He was one of the nation’s leading Christian broadcasters and a vigorous and articulate advocate for Christian involvement in public life.
Dr. Kennedy began his pastorate at CRPC in 1959 and is also the founder and president of Coral Ridge Ministries and the founder of Evangelism Explosion, which equips people in every nation and territory to share their faith in Christ. He was also the founder of two leading educational institutions located in Fort Lauderdale: Westminster Academy, a nationally respected Pre-K to 12th grade Christian school and Knox Theological Seminary, a graduate school preparing Christians for ministry as pastors, teachers, and missionaries.
Dr. Kennedy was born Nov. 3, 1930, but his Christian life did not begin until 1953. Sleeping late on a Sunday morning, his radio alarm went off and a preacher’s booming voice invaded his slumber. “Suppose you were to die today and stand before God and He were to ask you, ‘What right do you have to enter into My heaven?’—what would you say?”
Dr. Kennedy soon discovered that answer was to trust in Christ alone for eternal life, and shortly after he made that commitment was called into the Gospel ministry. Crediting this radio program for hearing the call to Christianity, he founded WAFG (90.3 FM) in 1974 as an outreach for Christ to the South Florida community.
He began his pastorate at CRPC on June 21, 1959, and from the outset had a vision for global impact. In 1960, he read the words of Jeremiah 33:3 to the handful of people that comprised his then-fledgling congregation, “Call unto Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” He then told his small flock, “You know what? I believe we can change the world!”
That surprised many in his audience, but today, despite being a local pastor of one church for nearly five decades, Dr. Kennedy has had a worldwide ministry influence. In 1996, Evangelism Explosion--through which nearly 5 million people have made commitments to Christ in 2006 alone—became the first Christian ministry to be established in every nation on earth. Long after his passing, an extensive inventory of Dr. Kennedy’s messages will continue through “Truths that Transform,” a daily broadcast carried on nearly 750 radio stations across the U.S., and “The Coral Ridge Hour,” a weekly television broadcast that airs on more than 400 stations and to 165 nations on the Armed Forces Network.
Dr. Kennedy’s belief that God will continue to do “great and mighty things” through the obedient efforts of His people never faltered. His confidence in the future also extended to American culture. “America is in the throes of a cultural shift with enormous implications for the future,” Dr. Kennedy said in 2004, noting the growth in the number of evangelical Christians in America. “If that trend continues, and I believe it will, Evangelical Christians will be in the majority sometime in the next decade,” he added.
“We will miss Dr. Kennedy enormously,” said Frank Wright, president of the National Religious Broadcasters. “His moral leadership and his legacy of impacting the globe for Jesus Christ is unmatched by few in the history of the Church. It is our desire to honor him by sustaining and multiplying his impact through Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church and all the ministries founded by Dr. Kennedy in the years to come.”
Viewing and funeral arrangements will be announced shortly. A legacy Web site,, has been developed to pay tribute to the life and faith of Dr. Kennedy.

NOTE TO MEDIA: Ron Siegenthaler, executive minister of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church, and Dr. Frank Wright, president and CEO of National Religious Broadcasters, are available for interviews. Please contact Kristin Cole at 615.289.6701 or via for more information or to arrange an interview. Media information will be available at

turning point devo

Ready for Departure
I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand.2 Timothy 4:6

Recommended Reading2 Timothy 4:6-8

The October 2005 issue of the Gideon Magazine told of a ninety-seven-year-old man in cardiac ICU. As his son-in-law visited and shared the Scripture with him, it became apparent that the old man had never received Christ as his Savior. That day, he turned his life over to the Lord and signed his name in the back of the Gideon New Testament, signifying his new life in Christ.
How wonderful!
And yet how much better to invest one's entire lifetime in Christ and His kingdom, and to come to the end of life praising God that, after years of fruitful service, our departure is at hand. Our lives pass quickly; and as we grow older, it's important that we give Him everything we have every day, asking for His guidance and pleading for His blessings.
Let's pour ourselves out for the kingdom so that when the time of our departure comes, we can say, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Timothy 4:7).
Now I belong to Jesus, Jesus belongs to me, Not for the years of time alone, but for eternity.Norman J. Clayton

Thursday, September 6, 2007


This morning I went to bed around 4am from staying up to study. Well, before my head hits the pillow at night I open up the word to see what the Lord has to say and to align my heart with the word. Well, last night I was reading Psalm 42 out loud over and over and over until I could feel it in my bones. I got so much energy that I could not fall asleep after that! I hate when I get all excited and my heart starts pounding right before I go to sleep. I seriously thought that the Lord might have needed to just go ahead and take me on last night.

With that being said, I want to keep this short so I don't lose anyone with the length.

Isaiah 44:20
20 He feeds on ashes, a deluded heart misleads him; he cannot save himself, or say, "Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?"

There have been so many times in my life where I have sought and sought to fill the insatiable need in my soul with things or people and I have come up spent and ultimately dry. When I have not sought satisfaction in Christ alone I have ALWAYS ended up bowing down to an idol of sorts and in doing so my heart has been led astray. As you know and idol is something that takes the place of God in our life. Something that exalts itself above the knowledge of Christ. Really to worship an idol is in essence worship of the enemy of our souls. When food was sacrificed to pagan gods, or idols were cast, or children were sacrificed to pagan gods in a fire, this was all really worship of our arch enemy. God will not be mocked. He is God. He alone is to be worshipped. He will be glorified and NO flesh will glory in the light of His presence. He alone is worthy. He knows that His commands are for our good and as we seek to live and walk after Him we will be wise and have health in our bones. However, if we depart from His ways and bow it will ultimately be the death of us.
I was thinking about the times where I have really turned to the right or to the left spiritually speaking and I want to tell you a couple of points that I think happened in my life that got me off the path of righteousness to unrighteousness.

1. I did not detect my own sin. If we do not compare ourselves to the light of Gods word, and by that I mean bringing your soul honestly before God and owning your own poor estate before God and acknowledging your sinfulness and need for His help, His power, His holiness and cleansing in your life consistently, you will ultimately be led astray by the deceitfulness of a deluded heart. A heart that feeds on delusions.

Psalm 36:1-2 says that we can flatter our self so much that we can not detect or hate our sin.
1 An oracle is within my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked: There is no fear of God before his eyes.
2 For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin.

You and I desperately need a holy hatred for the sin that God hates. Without continual cleansing we will not have clarity in day to day living. We will lose our sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.

So what do we do? Well, for starters I would like to suggest that you get out some paper or a notebook if it takes that and ask God to search you and point out all known sin so that you can confess it and then pray like crazy for godly sorrow that leads to repentance in the areas that are really ensnaring you.

2. I suffered miserably from unbelief. Once I had gotten off track I felt that I had sinned too much for me to really get back right with God and really start living for Him after some of the things that I had done. I suffered from shame. I knew that I was not authentic and instead of believing God, and just working with Him through His loving discipline I would sort of lay down in defeat.

So what do we need to do instead of believing that we have gone to far in our sin to ever be redeemed? Run to the word. What does God say? How did He use others in the word who had blown it so badly?

Return to Him. Jenny, I can't do that you say. You don't know what I have done. No, I don't but God does. He loves you. He wants to take you back. He longs for you to come to Him but He will not force you to obedience. I will say this...if you have walked with God and tasted of He will not force you but you will be utterly miserable until you come back to Him.

Isaiah 44:22-23
22 I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you."
23 Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this; shout aloud, O earth beneath. Burst into song, you mountains, you forests and all your trees, for the LORD has redeemed Jacob, he displays his glory in Israel.

3. Once I had bowed to an idol to try to find satisfaction and the deeper I went in that search for satisfaction the harder it became for me to recognize the lies that I was believing. I would so desperately hold something in my right hand (with a tight grip) that I felt I could not let go of that thing. I felt that I needed it to live and breath, or better yet I felt that it defined me and that I could not go on without finding significance and worth in my idol. Does anyone know what I am talking about? Then I would begin to settle into a pattern and just except low living. I would just do the same thing over and over...come up dry and expect a different result. I was feeding myself delusions. That is the problem with sin. Once we feed the beast it grows and grows and desires to take over and just do us in. The word for lie in Isaiah 44:20 is the word Seqer. Here is a tidbit of the definition from my lexical aides: "deceit, fraud...something of little value...Denotes a way of life which goes completely contrary to God's Law, groundless words or activities which have no basis in fact or reality--completely worthless." So there you have it. That is the manner of sin...lies that prove to be completely and utterly worthless. The things we so desperately cling to that prove worthless.

So what do we do? Run hard after God. Turn away from sin and turn to God. Make small choices that ultimately lead to big choices of obedience.

The apostle Paul so lost his life in Christ that he considered the things of this world to be of little value to him. So much so that he says in the KJV that he considers his losses as dung. I like the word dung better because he is in essence saying I consider the losses to be poo poo! LOL!! Okay does anyone want to keep their dung around? I hope not! Let our sin and the temorary passions of this world become dung to us...a bad detestable stench!

Here you go in the KJV
Phil 3:7-9
7But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
8Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
9And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:

Gotta hurry and get morgan ready! I lost track of time.