Constant

^{James 1:2-4
2} Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴ Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Man, I feel like I need to dust off the ol' laptop over here. The dust is finally starting to settle from what has been a whirlwind as of late. Major life events of moving, having a baby, then surgery and some very personal trials have kept me a tad preoccupied. Yet through it all I am so thankful for the constant One in my life. At times I have felt like curling up in a ball and crying from the deep longing in my soul for "a better country" a more lasting one. As much as I want things or people to be my rock to stand on I am ever aware that this earth is not my home and what is unseen is better than anything or anyone I can get my hands on here. I long for the place where there will be no more pain, no sorrow, no death, and yet in a strange way the things that bring me pain, the things that are close to home so to speak are the very things that drive me closer to the heart of Jesus. I truly know what it means to consider it pure joy whenever I face trials of many kinds. Let's face it, just like Josephs coat of many colors our trials can seem to come in a thousand different ways. We could call in the ROYGBIV of trials! Just a wide variety and spectrum of trials. I find it interesting if you jump down to verse for where it says that once perseverance (the ability to bear up under a load and not quit) finished its work we will be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Isn't that just it though...you are trucking along and all of a sudden a bomb drops and you find this cavernous hole inside of you like a cannon ball has just been launched through your guts and you have that gnawing feeling that you are lacking in some way, shape or form? You long for wholeness and yet here you are at a crossroads and you are lacking. You don't feel complete and it is such a hard place to be but such a good place to be all at the same time. Trials and hardships will teach but will we let God have His way and use the good, bad, and the ugly to allow Him to heal and mold us and most of all fill us that we will be mature.complete.not lacking anything? Will we see the things that seem to devastate us through with Him until we see that He truly brought beauty from the ashes a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair?
Clearly I am not going to go into details but I recently experienced a major betrayal in my own life. Yet I am so thankful that I serve a God who is so relentless in His pursuit of me and thankful to the One who gives me hope in the midst of what would seem like a river of despair. No matter what I have endured as I seek Him through His word and prayer He changes me and reminds me that He is my comfort that His Name is Near and when I feel like quitting His word lights up the dark places and reminds me that I am more than an over-comer and that the same God that got up from the grave and rose from the dead lives and breathes life into me. These aren't just words on a page to me, they are life.
Even tonight I was playing out certain scenarios in my head regarding the season I am in and the hurt that has cut so deep and was wondering when these bombarding thoughts would quit crowding out my mind. If your hurt is not brought before Christ and you don't allow Him to tend to your brokenness that will eventually turn into bitterness and I know that all to well. So, feeling like I am just carrying these burdens I was gently reminded that I needed to take what was bottled up (because when you are in the throes of raising children esp ones like Morgan who are radar it is hard to just start praying outloud without her asking questions...or bawling my eyes out because of course then she will want to know why I am sad) and "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Regardless of what pit you have found yourself in whether it was your fault or not that you got into that pit...He cares for You. Throw those cares off on Him. He will lighten your load and that may mean breaking out your prayer journal and casting that weight of the trial off onto Him several times a day but as you do your freedom will come and you will come to know the One who gave His life to redeem You. The only One who is constant. His name is Faithful and True. Truth in a world chock full of lies. He is Life and wholeness.