So, David has been betrayed and in the last post I talked about how our first step when we are in the wake of being betrayed is to cry out to God. We most likely will have to cry out numerous times because we don't really get betrayed by people who aren't close to us, do we? A very practical way to cry out to the Lord is through a prayer journal. At my house the only risk I run of having someone read my journal now is Morgan. In fact she even took one of them to school. Rod couldn't be any less interested in reading my journals. My little sister has been instructed upon my death to burn those things. Good grief I have the last 14 years of my life poured out in honesty to the Lord!
So, in verses 2-3 we see where he is troubled and distraught. Rejection, betrayal, loss, all of that cause such pain don't they? The girl who gave of herself and lost her virginity to a guy that promised her his undying love and devotion "if only" yet she sleeps with him and he is never to be heard from again. The child who instead of receiving love and a home to be nurtured and flourished in is abused. The engagement that was broken. The friend who betrayed your confidence. The husband or wife that has never loved you or kept their commitment to the Lord. The person who cheated in their marriage. The mom or dad you never got the approval from. You get the picture and whatever it is you are distraught. So what is one thing that you want to do just like David wanted to do when a "bomb" of sorts has hit you or your house and left you in an emotional upheaval want to run! Just like him I want leave the mountainous situation and find refuge somewhere far from the storm because after all, how could this be happened to me. Like a nightmare you want to pinch yourself and wake up and it all be over. He wants to flat out escape the situation. Hey, some situations God is not calling you to escape but to bear up under the load. I am not talking about staying in an abusive relationship or anything of that nature. Yet, through whatever trial has beset us there are times where we are called to flat out endure the thing which in some greek renderings can mean the ability to bear up under a load. I think about the main verse prompting these posts which is verse 22 and some loads we bear but we are only able to because we have released the weight of them to the Lord. So he wants to flee away and fly off like a dove or find shelter from the storm raging against him. He wants that undisturbed peace that has now been upset. Here's where the rubber meets the road. Will we bury our heads in the sand with our trials? Will we love eyes wide-open and do the hard thing? Or will we flee and cave to bitterness and a calloused heart? Which one will it be?
Here is where it gets good in the description of the human emotion of the heart.
4 My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death assail me.
5 Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
You can't know what he is articulating here unless you have done some real live living. If you don't know this part maybe it will lend you some insight into what someone else is going through.
His heart is in anguish within him. Check out what the word for anguish means in the Hebrew (PLEASE STAY WITH ME HERE): Hiyl: "To turn in a circle, twist, revolve; to writhe, travail (in childbirth), bear a child; to be born; to be afraid, tremble, shake. The main idea is that of writhing in pain, which is particularly associated with childbirth...also denotes trembling..., suffering torment...experiencing anguish or distress."
Listen, he was betrayed and writhing in pain. He was travailing over his hurt like one who would travail in childbirth. When I started to pick apart this passage I began to scroll through memories of things that caused me the most pain. As far as physical pain goes, hands down, the most pain I have been in on a scale of 1-10 (I hate when they ask you that at the doctor) was when I had meningitis. Yet on a scale of suffering, I have been through a lot and nothing quite hurts like betrayal. Even the pain of losing a child for me was something I had to grieve and such a nightmare yet there have been hurts so deep that have caused me almost as much pain.
I thought though how many of us really have no intention of turning our hurts and trials over to the Lord? You know the person I am talking about. The one that calls you up for the hundredth time and talks about something that happened 15 or 20 years ago and you can almost taste the bitter gall or smell the smoke from the smoldering pot because they are still living that thing out each time they tell it. It's the part of the movie where you want to scream MOVE ON! GET OVER IT! QUIT BEATING THE DEAD HORSE!!! WE ARE ALL SICK OF IT! That is so 1996 DON'T WAST YOUR LIFE! Yet that bitter root took way and it has sprung up and defiled many just like God's word says. So, if we are going to guard ourselves from bitterness from that kind of pain David is talking about it is going to have to be intentional and it is going to require work. It won't be for the faint of heart, because we at times are going to have to work so fervently for a renewed mind. We are going to have to work it out with the Lord so we don't fall prey to the enemies mixed bag of offenses. Yet it is going to be a process.
This verse is what came to mind when I thought of David travailing in childbirth
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
18 We were with child, we writhed in pain,
but we gave birth to wind.
We have not brought salvation to the earth;
we have not given birth to people of the world.
it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
they will see the glory of the LORD,
the splendor of our God. 3 Strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;
4 say to those with fearful hearts,
“Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you.”