Wednesday, May 9, 2007

He has been good to me...reflections for Mothers day

Here is Shelby and then Morgan fresh out of the oven...

As mothers day approaches I am so honored to be a mom. Morgan has been the sweetest gift. I never knew I could love someone so much or that my heart was capable to love her like I do. This Sunday will be bitter sweet...I will never have had the chance to mother our other daughter, Shelby Hope. I can't ever forget her and will not forget her. As time rolls past (it has been almost 3 years since she was born and died) people forget but she will forever be etched in my heart. One day I will get to tell Morgan about her sister that is in heaven with Jesus. Speaking of Jesus...I don't know where I would be without Him saving my poor and needy soul. What would I have done when I went through that tragedy if I did not know Him? What kind of bondage would I be in? He is SO worthy and so Holy. His ways are perfect and just.
When I first found out that I was pregnant I got on my face and cried before the Lord. I NEVER thought I could be a mother. When Shelby was born the Lord unlocked my handicapped heart and gave me the heart of a mother. My heart bleeds for the women who aren't able to have children. I know so many godly women who struggle with not being able to conceive. It breaks my heart especially when I see the abuse and neglect that some children have endured and they don't have a home to be raised in that is loving or a haven for them. I pray constantly for some of the women that I know personally that do not have children yet. I never mention it to them...but I pray. My heart breaks for the empty arms of the women whose children have died.
And then I ask..Why me? Why do I get to have a child? I am so thankful that I am able to raise Morgan. Her heart is so tender and she is so loving. She has taught me so much about God's love for me. When I first had Morgan I did not want to be away from her at all...I was so excited with each new day that I could spend with her. I can't believe my baby will be two next month. I still get excited every time I leave the house and come home to her little face. We have a tight bond and she is a mommas girl for sure. Who can blame her? I hope I do a good job raising her and teaching her about Jesus. I pray that she will love Him so much and that He will be everything to her.
Thank you Lord for your gift of grace. Please give me the wisdom and love to tend to such a sweet thing like Morgan. Thank you for Shelby. Give her some love for me...until I meet her again in heaven. Please open the wombs of the godly women to have babies of their own. May we be faithful to nurture and love these little ones with the love that You give.

1 comment:

pinkmommy said...

I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. I will be praying for you this Mother's Day.

Thanks for the comment! I love Beth Moore, too. I am doing Patriarchs for the second time right now. I did it about a year ago, and now I am facilitating it at my church. I haven't tackled Daniel yet. I have heard it is pretty hard.