Compassion International Calcutta Trip

If you have not gone here please go and sit for a while and take it all in. It will move you and make you want to do something. I am so ashamed at myself and my own greed after reading this. I realize the spiritual poverty of my soul when I get so caught up in Western living...how deceiving. For a simple $32 a month you can help a child in desperate need. I beg you to read Melissa's posts. Every last one.
I called my phone company tonight and took the unlimited texts off my phone package and got it to where I can save money to sponsor a little boy. I pray God opens my eyes to more ways that I can deny myself and be able to help others. The real sacrifice is in not doing something to help those who can not help themselves. We miss out on the whole heart that God wants us to have toward His children.

Addicted

OK I have been addicted to sugar for years. I am hypoglycemic and I don't like meat or many other foods. So, today I start my journey to break free from my sugar addiction. I feel like it has been contributing to my mitral valve issues and dysautonomia. So, here I go. It is just as much an addiction as someone who loves to smoke cigarettes.

When I learned that if I quit the sugar it may help all of my other problems I got serious.

I don't want anything to master me other than Christ. I have been telling myself for years that I can't quit eating sugar but this time I am going on with the Lord. So please pray!!

John 8:34
³⁴Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.

Pathetic

My life lately can be summed up in one word: pathetic.
I could come up with more words like complacent and etc.

I feel like I have just been hit between the eyes. I have some serious feeding the spirit and starving the flesh to do. I have never been a mediocre person and I sure don't ever want to be.

I beg God to give me His eyes to see, His ears to hear, His hands to give and comfort, His feet to go, and His heart to love.

Instead of getting down in the dirt to serve, I have been living where life is pretty and the air is clean. I am not self-loathing...just stating a fact. I am so thankful for His convicting mercy.

^{Acts 20:24}However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

Romans 3:¹⁰As it is written:

"There is no one righteous, not even one;

Morgan stories

These stories are really so I will remember them later:

First off, Rod had to go into a poultry plant the other night because he sells chemicals to them. He has to do something with sanitation. I don't need the details and he normally doesn't talk to me about work. The only info I get is when he is talking to his friend/co-worker on the phone, and like Sarai (from the bible) I listen in. They didn't call me radar when I was little for nothing.

Well, Morgan was FLIPPING out about going with him. She told him she would go and just stay in the car. I DON'T THINK SO. I did that in our earlier years of marriage, really out of insecurity, and I had to sit outside of a chicken plant and I was SCARED to death. Rod and I get so tickled over that to this day. He says, "yeah babe you thought I was going to see my girlfriend at the poultry plant."

I tried to pull out all the stops to get her to calm down and finally I resorted to google and I "showed her where daddy was going".

So, she still doesn't understand that this is what she eats. I am no animal rights activist. My man is a BIG hunter. But since I am such a visual person this is forever etched in my mind and one of the many reasons why I will not eat chicken anymore.

So, Morgan was then scared for Rod's life after Exhibit A.

I went to the sink for fear that I was about to throw up. I told Rod that I had no idea this is some of the stuff he did to provide for us. I could not stomach it.

On to other Morgan stories. Usually, when I leave the house she is going with me AT ALL TIMES. She is going through some attachment with her dad now and stays behind sometimes. She puts her shoes on, goes out to the car, and for her goodbye she says, "Mom, don't have a wreck." Such comforting words.

She also loves to exercise and on our "exercise" trips she normally turns them into a nature scavenger hunt. By the time we get back home I have about 4 pine cones and a host of flowers in my hands (that I told her I would not hold). She got so mad at me last night because I threw her pine cones away. The funny thing is she calls them "pine corns". It just cracks me up.

Our next door neighbors name is Cecil and Morgan calls him Recil. Well his cat got in our house the other day and if you know me...you know I am not about to pick up a cat. Morgan was yelling at him to get out from underneath her mommies bed. Then she said, "Momma! I am allergic to cats!!" I really am so it just makes me chuckle when she says it. So, she runs across the yard to get "Recil" and says, "Recil, your cat is in my house. You need to come get him! We are allergic to cats!" I about died but was secretly glad that she did my bidding. Then, his cat was at the door and she put her hand out (which meant STOP) and told the cat..."cat, STOP. I AM ALLERGIC TO YOU! Go away." I promise I am not teaching her this stuff.

She is so turning out to be "little Jenny" (bless her). She even calls herself that at times. She takes her bible to gymnastics and is so proud because her sweet teacher reads a story out of it. Then, today I was just praising the Lord (yes I am a dancing, hand lifter demonstrative worshiper) and she had to come get in on it. It is times like that when the Holy Spirit just fills the place and in a brief moment of time there you are having the opportunity to get a little taste of heaven. Life can stink and be so hard and there are so many times with her that bring such joy to my day.

She will talk to everyone (she gets that honest) and today we stopped and talked to this man at his mailbox. He works for the power company but is also a "magician". He told her that and of course her dad and I have told her there is no such thing as magic. So, she was clearly not impressed. I am so serious. He did some weird quarter trick, she just wanted the stinking quarter. He got into one part where he bit the quarter and she said that was gross and that we do not bite money or put it in our mouth. LOL!!!!

Then, he told us of some doves he had in the backyard and a rabbit that he had. Inside I was praying that he would not invite us to see them and don't worry...Morgan told him we were allergic and that we do not have pets. Thank you Lord.

And so I won't bore you anymore...whenever she hears a bad word like hate or stupid she gasps VERY LOUD and says that is a bad word. We do not say bad words!! She gets that from me. I seriously get appalled at the TV and gasp instinctively and she has picked up on it (and Rod and everyone else makes fun of me for trying to be the poster girl for TV Guardian). The guy we ran into was just cussing away and she would gasp, pause, and say "that is a bad word". She didn't understand his "real cuss words". I need to teach her Ephesians 4:29 so she can just quote that when she needs it. j/k

Sometimes it is so stinking hard for me to discipline her because she makes me laugh so much.

She begged me to buy her an exercise ball and it came with a Pilate's DVD. I walked in the room a few days ago and she had that DVD in and I heard her say ok...ok...ok...put your foot here...OK. I died laughing. I have never done Pilate's. Then, she said, "mom that DVD was so boring the lady said do this and do that (in her most sarcastic voice)". She did want to do it again the next day and I was like have at it but I am not doing it. LOL.

I could go on...but I will spare you. Sometimes my posts are so serious and I just wanted to be a little light hearted. I never knew a 5 lb baby girl would steal my heart the moment they laid her on my chest. I thought my heart would explode. Don't get me wrong we have our days!!! But I thank God for the simplicity of a child.

Random easter pics

Down in the Pit

A few months ago I began to read through Jeremiah and these verses struck a cord with me:Jeremiah 38:66 So they took Jeremiah and put him into the cistern of Malkijah, the king's son, which was in the courtyard of the guard. They lowered Jeremiah by ropes into the cistern; it had no water in it, only mud, and Jeremiah sank down into the mud.In the Bible when some one spoke of enemies digging a pit for them or their adversary hunting them down, they were being VERY literal. I don't think (unless we are familiar with war) that when we read we understand that these were literal enemies opposing people like David and Jeremiah. We clearly have real enemies but a lot of ours are in the unseen realm since our battle is not against flesh and blood. Sometimes I wish my battle was in the seen..so that maybe it would be easier. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT want to be on the run like David was, hiding out in caves and etc. That is not for me! My point is that in combat the enemy would literally dig our pits or cisterns for whoever they wanted to trap or kill. The Psalms speak of pits over and over...just take a look for yourself. Read the following verse and consider the word pit in the Hebrew with me:NIV Psalm 28:1 Of David. To you I call, O LORD my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.The word for pit is Bor meaning: "pit, hole, cistern, well, dungeon, grave. Empty cisterns were used for prisons (Jer. 38:6; Zec. 9:11). The Hebrews conceived of death as a giant pit..."My point is that when Jeremiah sank down into the mud in the cistern or pit that was dug FOR HIM...he would have seen this as the same this as a grave dug for him. Jeremiah is known as the "weeping prophet" and if you study him you will see that...but what stood out to me was that he was obedient to God and rejected by man over and over. There is something about the truth that cuts like a knife...people either love it or hate it. I am sure you know like me that there have been times when you wanted to close your ears to the truth and do your own thing. The truth is not popular and it is costly. My life is pathetic in comparison to Jeremiah. God told him what to do and he did it. It is my constant prayer that I would obey the Lord. Whenever I choose my way over His I end up suffering. In the words of my favorite preacher (James MacDonald) "Choose to sin, choose to suffer." Yet sometimes we will suffer and face being struck down or shipwrecked so to speak from following the Lord. If obedience gets us a cistern who wants that right!?! Be honest the second Christ starts to cost us something and we start barreling into trials we want Him to take His hand off the thermostat of our fiery furnace. That's me anyway. But I have been there with Jeremiah...only mostly I have jumped into my own pit. We are not to be unaware of our enemies schemes. He wants to trap and ensnare us in all manner of sins. The enemy really sets traps for us. He tries to lead us like a lamb to the slaughter. Of course everyone knows that Rod is a hunter...he spends a lot of time camouflaging himself, putting doe urine on his body (SICK!), and he even plants fields during the middle of the year to feed the dear and bait them in. He has cameras that detect motion and take pictures to see where the deer are feeding. My point is that he goes through great lengths to lure the deer in, camouflage himself and bait those sweet things in. All Rod can think about right now is the hunt and if you know anything about deer hunting in Alabama you will know that the rut is about to kick in. This is mating time for the deer. The bucks completely throw caution to the wind as they try to mate. They let their guard down and this is the perfect time to bag that Big Buck. I don't get it...but I like to draw the analogy. In my life that is they way satan works with me. Don't get me wrong I can get into trouble without his help. He will lure me, bait me, camouflage sin and bam he's got me in the pit. He wants to destroy our testimony and make us ineffective for the kingdom. Thankfully when we do blow it, like me so many times, we can come back to the Lover of our souls. I was thinking about David the other day and wondering if after he blew it did he hang his harp and quit playing? Maybe he did for a time but I think God restored him and put a new song in his heart. One of the things the enemy tries to get us to believe after we have taken a fall is that we are worthless and that we can no longer go to God. That is a lie from the pit. We need to get back with the Lord regardless and restore our fellowship with Him. My friend called me yesterday and she was telling me about a sermon she heard at church and she said that the pastor kept saying that if we are still here that God has a plan for us. Believe that in your own life. Don't quit getting in the word. Don't quit surrounding yourself with believers. The worst thing you can do is separate yourself...we need each other. Trust in God's ability to forgive and restore you...don't trust in how you feel. Like Peter, when you have turned back, strengthen the brethren. Warn anyone who will listen that the pit is like going down to death and that they want to stay walking on the straight and narrow. When God pulls you out of your pit, learn from it and make the enemy sorry he ever messed with you.

Give Us Clean Hands

this is my prayer tonight

Stumbling in Safe Country

Whew this may be a little random. Sorry in advance. Rod is snoring so loud that I am seriously getting anxiety. Doesn't take much people. Today was one of the first days I have had to myself in a long time. I sort of squandered it I guess. I sat in my bed and read until 10 or so. I got my hair cut AGAIN since the girl who cut it last time did a poor job.

Rod and Morgan went to the Auburn A-Day game. This was his first real time to have her without me or his mom to watch her. She came home telling me that you are not allowed to talk in the stadium and that daddy did not line the toilet. While they were gone I went to take a shirt back for Rod. I decided to stroll down the shoe aisle and "just take a peek". Of course there on the shelf were the cutest shoes. They were so me. Plus they were 14.99 and the regular price was 50.00. I have been asking the Lord to really convict me of anything that is not in line with His will. I just get so sick of me...my flesh. So, I walked around the store with the shoes, thought about the price, tried to talk myself into all of the reasons why I wanted them. I put them down, then went back to them. Then, I passed by a shirt that said tempted and I was like that is it! Those shoes are going back on the shelf and I am stinking going to be obedient. The LORD Jehovah Nissi was my banner of victory in that situation today. Then, this verse came to mind while I was in the store:

Jeremiah 12:5 (New International Version)

God's Answer

⁵ "If you have raced with men on foot
and they have worn you out,
how can you compete with horses?
If you stumble in safe country,
how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?

What it meant to me was that if I can't even say no to a pair of shoes what will I do when a bigger temptation comes my way?

I was talking about these verses on Tuesday night (please don't skip and miss the blessing):

^{Exodus 17:10-13
10} So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. ¹¹ As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. ¹² When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. ¹³ So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

As I was talking, I asked my friend Cheryl what she thought of those verses. She is a woman of the word. She said something so profound yet simple: "sometimes the Lord just wants our obedience even if we don't understand it."

It didn't make sense to me as to why he had to hold his arms up for them to get the victory...but God told him to do it and he obeyed. Such a word for me. I thought again today about something I wrote a few weeks ago: Stay away from people, places, or things that will tempt you to sin. If you find yourself gossiping with a certain person apologize and tell the person that you are really going to try to honor the Lord and say only what is beneficial. If they aren't on board then (in a non-condemning way) you may have to limit your talking to that person. If a certain place will tempt you don't go there. You get the picture.

I have so much other stuff I want to blog about but I need to go to bed. I just love looking back on the things the Lord has done for me.


HERE is another post from a while back that the Lord used those verses in the beginning to speak to me.

my new favorite website

CLICK HERE

Missing Alabaster Girl

Please pray for this girl who is missing. HERE is the news story.

Also, PLEASE pray for my friend Bev Brandon. She means so much to me and she has cancer. Morgan and I just prayed for her a little while ago. Please pray for complete healing, deliverance from this fiery trial, strength, and peace. She is so precious to me.

"No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has been satisfied by
God first." Oswald Chambers

HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is the LORD God Almighty!! The whole earth is filled with His glory.

Hebrews 12:1414Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.I would have to say that overall holiness is not a big topic that is very popular but it is so important to God. It is to our good that we live a holy life. Some of my favorite words are wrapped in Isaiah 6:3 And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.""Isaiah's commission began with a vision of God's holiness (vv.1-4). This vision terrified Isaiah and made him feel totally inadequate and unclean...When the angel touched Isaiah's lips with the hot coal from the altar and said that his sins were forgiven (vv. 6,7), Isaiah was fit for service to God."The Lord used the coal to purify Isaiah and for us under the new covenant we are washed by the blood of the Lamb that was slain before the foundation of the world. We can not be made right apart from His sacrifice and believing on the Lord Jesus unto salvation. We can earn nothing from God by our works...it took the Lamb. Our righteousness is as filthy rags before His Holiness. The Hebrew word used for Holy (speaking of God) is the word Qados meaning: "to consecrate. Consecrated, sacred (ceremonially or morally), selected pure, holy. As a substantive, the Holy One (God)...Essentially denotes what is intrinsically sacred and distinct (even opposed to) what is common. God is seperate from all evil (Isaiah 17:7), death, and idolatry. He can not tolerate sin. His majestic holiness is without equal and is completely perfect...no one is as holy as He (1 Sa 2:2). He is the Judge of what is right and pure (Ps22:3). Because He is holy, He is free from the moral imperfections and failures associated with mankind (Hos 11:9). He is reliable; He will be faithful to His promises."Ok I will stop there on that definition but there is so much more good stuff. Back to Hebrews 12:14Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. The Lord calls us to live holy lives. Lives that are set apart for His good use. However, we are forgiven but we still have a daily sin problem. For me if I am not in a regular state of confession and repentance it becomes hard for me to have fellowship with the Lord since our sins separate us from God. We have to call sin for what it is and stand in agreement with the word of God and pray for godly sorrow that leads to repentance if we want know Him. When I say know Him I mean the continual gazing of the soul to Christ. Have you ever opened the word and felt like you needed to hide or wondered why you couldn't hear from Him? I have many times and then I would have to stop and ask the Lord to search me and show me any sin or anything that was offensive to Him and confess it and seek repentance so I could be in uninterrupted fellowship. When we refuse to deal with our stuff it will deal with us. We can be led into all manner of deception without confession and turning from our sin and turning to God. Do you remember Milly Vanilly their albums rocked the charts and then got revoked because it really wasn't them singing on the record? I think often about the blame game and the song from one of their albums "Blame it on the Rain" come to mind:Gotta blame it on something,gotta blame it on something.Blame it on the rain that was fallin', fallin'.Blame it on the stars that shine at night.Whatever you do, don't put the blame on you;blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah.Isn't that fitting. That is so what we do. We do not want to take blame or responsibility for our sin when it is easier to blame it on someone else. Half the time we want to blame everything on the devil when it is our flesh, our sin nature doing its thing. Adam did the same thing in the garden...he shifted blame on Eve. In our natural man we are the same way. God wants us to take responsibility for our own sin and own up to it so we can be right with Him and others.The word for holy is Hebrews 12:14 is Hagiasmos meaning: "to sanctify, make holy, treat as holy. Sanctification, the process or work of making something holy; sanctified behavior, holy living. The -os indicates an action rather than a quality or attribute." The definition in the lexical aides goes on to describe how sanctification is a work of the Holy Spirit since Christ died on the cross for our sins, then it goes on to say this: "Thus it describes the spiritual atmosphere in which they are living; despite the hostile, outward, circumstances, God's spirit provides an inner, spiritual realm of grace for the soul."Thank you Lord for making a way through the cross. It is impossible for us to come to a Holy God without the cross. I love the last definition I just listed it spoke this to me: God IS by Definition Holy. That is who He is and He wants us to live a life that is set apart to Him in actions because of us being made right with Him through receiving Jesus as our Lord and having the help of the Holy Spirit. He is perfect in holiness and He wants our life to bear testimony to His holiness not in mere words but in action.1 Thess. 4:3 uses the exact same greek word for holy in the word sanctified.3It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.Here it tells us to obstain from sexual immorality. God's plan for sex is holy when it is in the confines of marriage alone.Then jump down to vs 11 I think this is a product of living set apart to God.11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.Then Paul goes immediately in the next set of verses to the Coming of the Lord. We have got to be set apart because Christ is calling the Bride of Christ to make Herself ready in Holiness and Purity. I was at the mall last night and saw some of the most indecent clothing and thought once again...the enemy is turning it up trying to get us to live at the world's status quo. His desire is for our ruin. God's desire is for our Holiness.Begin to pray for this and seek God over it that you would love Him, and fear Him in reverence and Awe, but that your life would be holy and wholly set apart to Him.I want to be the servant who is ready with her light on, dressed and waiting for her Master to return (Luke 12)! The Lord wants us to be vessels that are useful to Him for His service. There is so much joy and inner peace that flows from that. How do I know? Because I know what it is like to live in obedience and to have lived in rebellion.God help us to be solidified in our pursuit of holiness. Help us to be set apart and to have an undivided heart that fears Your Name. Lord help us to put our trust in You...You are so good and so worthy!1 John 2:15-1615Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.-all of my quotes are from the Key Word study bible.

Rough Night

****UPDATE: I go tomorrow morning to get a heart monitor. So, hopefully this will help me out some more. Thank you SO much for your sweet words and prayers. I love you all!!

I have been struggling with THIS which started during bible study. I am trying to take my mind off of it. It was great when I had to tell several people that I felt like I was going to pass out and etc., hear my sarcasm. What a great bible study teacher these people have. For real.

Anyway, please pray for me if you happen to read this.

Also, this psalm brought me comfort tonight:

Psalm 103 (New International Version)
Psalm 103
Of David. 1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children-
18 with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, O my soul.

I have some really good stuff I am learning but I am trying to get ready for bible study tomorrow night. We start "A Heart Like His" by Beth Moore (of course lol). I was starting the lesson today and even though this will be my 5th time to do it...it spoke a fresh word to me today.

Real Quick: Guess who decided she would break out the iron and spray starch yesterday? Not me. I caught her just in time. It is amazing, but when you don't hear her for 1 minute flat, she could be burning the house down. I noticed she had moved a prayer bench of mine which she used to climb up and get the iron and starch. You have to watch her like a hawk!!

Little Joe

Morgan BEGGED me, I mean begged me to buy her the Veggie Tales NIrV bible. My friend Ron at Lifeway (who works in the bibles and prays over me every time I go there) cracked up as she laid prostrate on the floor in the aisle. I refused to buy it until it went on sale. When I saw it went half price, I jumped on it! She sure knows how to get me throw a fit for a bible. LOL.
So, today (I actually got to take a bath BY MYSELF, but not really) Morgan came and set next to the shower and said Mommy read me a story about Little Joe (Joseph) and his jealous brothers. Well, one thing I am not doing with her is graving images in her mind of things like Daniel sitting around cuddling with the Lions, or the cute little arc with all the cutesy animals. I tone it down but Noah's ark is a picture of destruction over God's holiness and the wickedness of man. Its not a cute little story that we need to paint on the wall. If we painted the accurate picture it would be an ark over the mountains with dead bodies floating all in a flood. Do I tell her all of that? Not yet, but I do not want her to see God's word as some ancient book that is made up of fairytales. Call me overboard.
Here is what cracked me up today. I started to tell her the account of Joseph and I just really got into detail and told her what a brat Joseph was and about his dreams. I told her how Joe's dad had multiple wives and he favored Joe and Benjamin since they were Rachels children. I went on and on like I would to adults. Then, I said do you want me to tell you the rest...and she said NO! So, I am sticking to one of the best bibles I have found for her age that is more accurate and to say she loves it is an understatement.

children really are such a joy.