Wising up

I get a lot of prayer requests and pray for a lot of people.  I'm not going to tell you I will and then not. Anyway, some of you know I will obsess in prayer for you. Lol. You may wish you didn't ask me to pray. But as I sit here now I'm just awash with how every inclination of our hearts is evil apart from the Holy Spirit working within us. I don't care what anyone says we are evil and wretched and capable of the most vile of sins in our natural man. If Christ is not "THE Priority" and we are left to ourselves, we will allow the enemy and our flesh (our own free will) to not only self-destruct us but to steal, to kill, and to destroy us of the life Christ died and rose to give us. Let's face it most of us have taken some big field trips to sin to learn this one the hard way. And if you think you are standing firm...take heed you stand lest you fall before you proclaim how you would never do such and such. The enemy is after your testimony since he can't have your soul if you are in Christ, as you are sealed unto the day of redemption. Anyway, I also can't stand when people say Christians are hypocrites. Why don't we call it what it is? Sinners. We will all struggle with sin until we lay these vessels down. So of course we are going to sin and miss the mark and are told to watch or better yet, to guard our life and doctrine closely. So I say all of this to say that The Lord leads those that are His.  Has He given you red flags about someone or something in your life? Do you need to get out a sheet of paper and ask Him to show you and confess your sins so you can be in fellowship with Him? If we walk in darkness, living to gratify our flesh, y'all we just can't think clearly. We get duped and the scary part is that we can be handed over to the hardness of our own heart. Not only that we can't have the assurance of integrity and stand on The Rock or a firm place when we are living a life of duplicity. You and me may think that following Gods way didn't work at times but that's a lie straight from the devil. He is for you. His commands are not burdensome. What's burdensome is when you douse yourself in kerosine and light the match to your own flame. It's scary business. Lots wife was turned into a pillar of salt because in the Hebrew terminology she looked back on sodom and Gomorrah with longing and affection over that which would bring about her destruction. She loved Sodom and Gomorrah.  So what good is salt if it loses it's saltiness? Do you want to just wander in a wasteland pining away for the affections of mankind and living out of a perpetual suitcase of unmet needs, and desperation? I'm reminded of how short this life is as i did pray for 5 people and their families who have lost loved ones in the last week and month.  We don't have long here y'all. Eternity is a long time. That's what we've got to get our eyes on! So again I say, let's not be duped. The enemy is not looking out for you. Sin desires to master you as it crouches at your door.  We are in a war. Let's quit getting entangled in civilian affairs. If God is for us who can be against us! The enemy will kiss you on the cheek, give you what you thought you wanted and betray you every-time. It's sickening. Open our eyes Lord!!! Let's go to Him and confess and repent.  We have to cling to Him in these perilous days. 

The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. The righteousness of the blameless keeps his way straight, but the wicked falls by his own wickedness. The righteousness of the upright delivers them, but the treacherous are taken captive by their lust. (Proverbs 11:3, 5, 6 ESV)

Speaking from a wound.

1 Samuel 16:7
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

(I am a little nervous over this post because I want it to come out right)...
I have thought about something all afternoon and all while I worked tonight. So of course, I will blog about it. I was reading a Christian speakers blog today and I read something that really bothered me that was addressed to the way women dress. It was her blog and she is free to say what she wants but as I read it I felt sorry that I had thought or said some of the same things about other women in the past. I taught in the singles ministry for a long time and I can remember seeing girls that would come in my class that were dressed very inappropriately and I would comment to myself at times and sometimes speak about how we as women can cause others to stumble by the way we dress (and I specifically meant that just for them...just so you will know the condition of my heart). I spoke those words not so much because I cared about them or even how they could cause another to stumble... but in some way they made me feel insecure so it would cut me to the core. Yes, as Christians we should care about how we dress and should care about not causing another to lust after us and etc. But as I read this woman's post I thought about how we tend to address (and she was speaking of a complete stranger) what someone should not be wearing when really it is an issue of the what's in their heart and not what is on the outside. It reminds me of the verses on our speech...it is not the word's we say but the condition of our heart where our words come from.

Matthew 15:18-20
18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "

That reminds me of the self-help trend where we focus on fixing the externals instead of having much needed heart surgery and getting to the core issue of our problems. Take an alcoholic for example. Yes, that is an addiction but usually at the root of the problem can beloneliness that needs to be filled by Christ, or maybe pain management...just drinking until you can't feel instead of dealing with your pain head on.

Women know that dressing in a seductive manner will draw attention and they will feel powerful. That is why they do it. I would say that when we dress to gain the attention of another man (that is not our husband...if you are married) that we are struggling with insecurity. Plain and simple we will use our body as a way to validate. Someone who is dressing to gain attention is seeking to be validated by the attention they get. But let me ask you this? Have you ever felt that same way? We are all tempted to yet we will so brutally look down on others. I am not agreeing with the immodest dress that is out there by any means. I am also not saying that you shouldn't be cute. There will always be someone thinner than us, prettier than us, younger looking than we are and that is just a fact. This is getting personal but one night there was a famous girl on television posing in a commercial and it was very much a commercial that was sexual in nature. I immediately shouted at the TV so Rod could hear me "She's a piece of trash!" Rod stopped me and said "Jenny, listen to yourself...she is made in the image of God whether she is living that way or not...you shouldn't call her a piece of trash." I immediately got defensive and felt like he was taking up for her. Do you know why I lashed out at the TV and her ad...it was because I felt like she could gain the attention of my man and that I was not good enough (I am not saying he was giving her attention either) so I wanted to lash out at the wrong she was doing and degrade her as a person because in some way it made me feel small and insecure. That is the truth. The Lord knows the condition of every heart and it is His kindness that leads us to repentance. Instead of picking up stones and casting them at people we need to pray for others that may not be in the same place that we are. And in the church we should teach in love regarding the way that a Christian woman should dress, because not everyone is in the same place that we are. We don't come out and throw stones of condemnation especially when we don't even know where someone is at with the Lord. How quick we are to label people instead of praying for them. I am so guilty of this. Especially as women how many times have we judged someone else based on appearance when we've never even had the first conversation with them.
I pray that the Lord will make you and I secure enough in our relationship with Him that we can love others and find our worth in Him. Also, I hope that we can pray for others instead of looking down on them. Don't you think that deep down when we lash out about another woman that in some way we really just want to cut her down to make ourselves feel better? These are just my opinions. I have dealt with insecurity so much and I have been hurt and betrayed in this life to...but I truly want to love and pray for people who do not treat their temple as holy instead of letting it shake me and make me feel insecure. Let's face it we will all have this problem until Christ comes to call us home. We can honor the Lord with our beauty, teach our children to dress modestly, and speak the truth in love but we can't control the rest.

1 Peter 3:2-4
when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Psalm 45:11
11 The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

Guarding your heart, retraining your mind.

Dear blogosphere,

What might have been doesn't exist. 

Going back in the past to change something isn't going to happen.  

I love a Hebrew word picture of the word know...it is a man in a canoe rowing backwards in the future but very much focused on the past. The apostle Paul is taken out of context when he says, "forgetting what is behind..."  God never tells us to amputate our history from our present reality. That's stupid.  But the whole, "what might have been..." Is a game of the enemy aimed at the mind to rob you of contentment. If you allow it to fester it will resurrect a stronghold in your mind and keep you stuck! I know this one. We are so wise to learn from our past. Look at our nation...we clearly have forgotten that to forget history is for history to repeat itself. Paul was speaking of forgetting past achievements. We can't live off of yesterday's relationship with The Lord or just forget some of the field trips we have taken and learned the hard way that God was right and He can be trusted. The only prescription for tearing down a stronghold is not with carnal methods but divine ones. Namely the Word of God, fasting, prayer, and choices to retrain your thinking. Learn and your do over will be not repeating the same stuff the next time. As a dog returns to his vomit so a fool returns to his folly. I remember our dogs eating grass, puking, and then eating their vomit.  Hate to ruin anyone's breakfast. I would stand slack jawed and yell how sick!!!! Yet that's what we do when we refuse to learn and choose differently. Some of you have been pining away over a person, place, or thing and in essence you are wandering in the wilderness spiritually speaking. Yet The Lord has called you out of darkness that He might bring you into a good and spacious place. Yet there is a mountain in front of you that won't move. You've got to go around it (deut 1 and 2). You didn't get where you are overnight and being free isn't for the faint of heart. You are going to have to go after it but as you do...you will find a liberation in your soul and a knowing of Jesus that's not words on a page. How bad do you really want to be free?  For me it's meant intense time in the word and The Lord performing heart surgery while I was wide awake with no anesthesia!!! His word works. That's all I know. He may not change your circumstance but He will set you free. He invites each of us to come and drink for free...even though it was so costly for Christ. He instructs us to not spend ourselves on what doesn't satisfy (isa 55). He is proved right always...this I know.  You have to make some choices, drive some stakes in the ground, and set your face like flint determined to do His will. You can't phone this one in. I've been the biggest fool on the planet...you can't out school me there. 

Obama Care, Marxism, and a quick rant

It really bothers me when we elect someone for an office based on the color of skin. I'm one that believes that we should embrace our different races instead of trying to act like we aren't different and try to be color blind. Why can't we appreciate and embrace the fact that God made us in His image and news flash: Jesus wasn't a butt white dude. He was Hebrew and dark skinned. Hello!?!? It doesn't take rocket science. Anyway, with that being said, I say this about our president...so many that say they are believers voted for a man based on race and not on moral values. Like the sanctity of life. That's a big deal to God. We live in a culture of great moral decline and animals have more press and rights then unborn babies. Well, I get made fun of for my love of history, but if you studied you'd see Obama and Obama care is nothing more than Marxism. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marxism

Please tell me you read "Animal Farm" and it wasn't just a requirement for honors english?! 

We are headed down a path of decline of major proportions...yet because of our own dumbed down society and a turn from Creator God to an anything goes tolerant nation. We didn't arrive here overnight. Churches have mass-marketed Jesus in the West and have failed to make disciples as long as they can have big numbers and appeal to the seeker friendly crowd, using carnal methods to attract people instead of the exaltation of Christ alone! And we wonder why peoples lives are falling apart left and right. Because we are created to worship and without becoming a disciple of Christ we will worship anything. But we are closer now than when we first believed.  It's going to be a scary day when the Great and powerful Shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. Yet I long for the Rock that smashes the statue of World Empires in the book of Daniel!  The government will be upon His shoulders. Come Lord Jesus!! 

Sharing in the sufferings of others

Man I could write a book right now with so much love and compassion to my fellow sisters in Christ who have been so deeply hurt and felt as if they will never measure up...to what is not even real in the media or porn industry.  I grieve because of the insecurity and deep rejection and brokenness that it causes. I grieve for those that are so enslaved in sin that they can't even detect their idols anymore. I grieve for the women who think they can just tweak this or that with their outward appearance and then if they maybe change this one more thing...then so and so will love them. The problem isn't you. Fixing your outward appearance isn't going to make someone else steeped in lies love or want you. You aren't the problem.  The problem is sin and people who don't fear God, they don't know what living in His presence is like enough to want out because they are so miserable of loss of fellowship with Him. Please no ugly or rude comments either as I could write out a host of scriptures to support what I'm saying. The whole industry is designed to create addicts and we are all created to be filled. Yet with sin...it's progressive. There is never enough. You have to add more and more and more to feed the lust of the flesh until you are hung. You may start out in secrecy but you will act out eventually and those secrets will manifest. I'm talking to men and women. And you have to be radical to live in this world and not succumb to the pressure and temptation of sensuality. But I pray for this future generation and the people I stand arm to arm with now...that they will humble themselves and cry out and be free from the sin that so easily entangles them. It's going to take work, a battle plan of knowing where you went East, accountability, the Spirit of God, bathing in His word for the renewal of your mind. Prayer and fasting. We can't walk in victory in isolation.  We can't lay one idol down without picking another up. I don't even know if I'm making sense. I keep my phone on password protect because my call in life is not to decorating or painting or fashion...my call is to women. To serve them, love them, pray for them, grieve with them, and most of all to in some way point them to Jesus and that He is enough. The password protect on my phone is so peoples business stays their business and no one reads what is so personal in all of the prayer requests I get to FB or on text.  I entered into one of my friends deep pain and suffering today and I have been weeping and wanted to put it out there that no matter what you've done, no matter the sin (and yes there are consequences and He is merciful), no matter how far you've run, no matter if you were pushed into a pit like Joseph by his brothers...his own flesh and blood!!! And you may stand at a crossroads where you are exhausted and torn and lost your way. I beg you like in the psalm of accents...if the enemy has plowed your back and made his furrows long...that you would weep forward into the soil and let it produce something that only God can cause to grow. Weep forward. Don't dare let the enemy have the victory over you. You are the only person you can control. Don't dare let him drive a stake in you and wave his flag of victory over you. He can't have your salvation if you are in Christ but he can empower your witness. He can allow you to ebb away with bitterness. DO NOT LET HIM!!!!! Even if life has hit you hard by Gods grace get up and deal with the blow that was dealt to you. Get in the word. Pour out your heart to God and some safe people. This can apply to anything.   Also, grieve the loss of what was, what isn't, what you hoped it would be but grieve before The Lord and tell Him. He already knows and He grieves. He also heals. He turns gaping wounds into scars even if no one else will see them. God sees. He loves you my  sister in Christ. "The King is enthralled by your beauty, honor Him for he is your lord." Psalm 45:11. Also, all this living in darkness stuff and not being accountable. The bible is speaking to believers constantly about being free and putting off the old and putting on the new. It speaks to immorality constantly. Why????!!!!! Because God doesn't waste words and believers were going back to places of captivity. It's nothing new. Yet Gods commands are not burdensome. They are for you. They are for you. People want to pin Christians as hypocrites. Duh!  We are all sinful and sick with sin and need a Savior. We will struggle with sin until we lay these bodies down and our faith is made sight. However, you and me...we can walk in victory. 

What goes up must come down--cause and effect and consequences of sin

Ok I can't come to grips with people who can grasp Sir Isaac Newtons famous quote, "what goes up must come down"...but then can't come to grips with the cause and effects of sin. In His Great Love and Mercy we are not consumed. Let me say...my mantra is psalm 130 before anyone misunderstands me. But when others douse themselves in kerosine and light the match to their own flame and burn everything to the ground around them. Then, almost as if they had some temporary amnesia...never-mind the fact that they have shipwrecked their faith and family for the lust of the flesh...they come back and can't understand why people are hurt and relationships are torn and trust is broken.  It amazes me every-time!!! Then, if I've heard it once...I've heard it over and over...they are forgiven by God now and free without any repentance or cooperation with The Lord to be free or any proof of godly sorrow that leads to repentance...and if you don't get on board with that then you are some bitter, unforgiving, judgmental Christian!  How about NO!  Forgiveness as far as it depends on you doesn't mean reconciliation of relationship with a destructive unrepentant person!  Watch the counsel you get and compare it to scripture. People will try to emotionally manipulate you and twist scripture even to mess with your head and the devil did it to Jesus in the wilderness. Don't ever ever make the grave mistake of thinking He didn't come as fully man even though He is God (Phil 2). He was tempted in every stinking way we are and was without sin!!!! Every way!!! Even when people try to pin their sin on you as the excuse...they are calling God a liar and saying He didn't provide a way of escape. He did. (I'm not talking about true victims of abuse or childhood abuse either as I want to be so sensitive to that) They just chose not to take it!!! Again, I'm not being like James and John who were nicknamed the Sons of Thunder. I don't want to call down judgment or fire on anyone!!! That's not my seat!  I'm just saying why can we so clearly understand gravity and not get that we have consequences for our choices.  It's what's wrong with this victim mentality society we live in. No one wants to turn their finger in but only point and blame others. Even if others have failed you miserably, broken your heart, set you up for temptation, rejected you, abandoned you and the list goes on....are you going to live in a prison of victimization your whole life pining away over it and trying to get someone or something to pay you what you feel is owed only to come out worse off? How long will you lay in defeat over something that was done to you or not done 20 years ago? By Gods grace I would beg you to throw yourself at the mercy seat where the curtain was torn in two and we have access to the Most High Priest and fall into His hands like David said.  With Him is unfailing love and with Him is full redemption.  Even if you have shipwrecked things...your life isn't over!!!! Pick up His word. Deeply repent and use all of that to pay the enemy back as you seek to snatch others from the flames and turn a sinner from his ways. We are still supposed to be our brothers keeper!!! Godly sorrow leads to repentance and moreover relationship with our creator through committing to the process of knowing Him.  You can't lay one idol down without picking one up.  He has to be exalted over all until you say get away from me and throw those other idols in your life away like the bible says, "like a menstrual cloth". We live in a world where it's so hard to hear from all the noise and will we trade our inheritance for a bowl of stew, for what is cheap? For what brings shame? For what we've been redeemed from? Or will we go after Him? He is worthy and He is proved right always. Take it from someone who knows and y'all NO I'm NOT TALKING ABOUT ME OR ANYONE in my immediate family.  

Let's deal with our stuff quickly and cry out to Him for help!  He does not treat us as our sins deserve. 

Denial and acceptance

Failure to move beyond denial makes acceptance near impossible. Whether it's denial over sin, denial over reality, denial over the truth, denial over what might have been... You can't move onto acceptance and wholeness until you own up to whatever you're in denial about. It means taking a hard long look at maybe even the lies you've told yourself for so long that you've believed them...but letting The Lord search you and taking steps to face up and accept some things about your current estate. Saying goodbye to something's. Obedience isn't always easy especially if longstanding periods of disobeying got us where we are. But small steps in the right direction and willing to obey has to happen before your heart and mind change. However, the only way I know for a renewed mind and change is Gods word. Living in it. Allowing Him to heal you of waywardness or brokenness. When you try not to think about something or someone if you are like me you are like ok great plan but if I try not to think about xyz then I'm thinking about not thinking about it and I'm thinking about it. To take your thoughts captive you have to replace them. Put them on Gods word. It's the only way I know for liberation and wholeness. Letting Him thrill us and meet us in our barren places. Until then...we will only pine away for what isn't...and maybe wander around in a wasteland never moving on to the promised one. We have to exercise the will to obey. It doesn't come natural. Speaking to myself of course. ;) 

Baby girl door hanger! My sister is supposed to give birth today to a baby girl.

Here is the door hanger I made for my new niece Sadie Reese. Praying now in advance that my little sister has an easy delivery. 

Diy burlap door-hanger roll tide (even if it's a cuss word to me)

I just painted this guy real quick and he isn't dry but I get so many Alabama football doorhanger requests. 

Breast cancer awareness ribbons

Faith hope pray fight 

Breast cancer ribbons, wooden door hangers...still need more bling. 

DIY arts and crafts from tonight

Here is a dresser I've been working on. It is so sentimental because it is almost identical to my childhood dresser. I used to open the doors and change behind them for privacy since I shared a room with 2 of my sisters. 

Then this is a random thing...I cut this ceiling tile in the shape (almost) of Alabama and wrote a verse in the middle. 

This is a wreath I made for a dear friend. Hope she likes it....because it has a whole lot of ribbon going on. 

This is just a basic initial I do once football gets going. 

Oh and how I can't wait for Sadie Reese to get here. This is for her party. 

So I was sick of making Alabama stuff and redid my auburn w from last year. 

This is a football I made to hang at my parents house. 

I made this for my sweet neighbor but need to add ribbon. 

This was so fun. Nails and twine 

Mistle toe- diy crafts

So I know it's early but what a great keepsake. I stained some blocks. Painted some white paint on their feet, then covered with Modge lodge and made my bows for the top and nailed them in the wood and added their names and year along with the green star and red button. Now I'm already getting lots of sugars. 

DIY fall crafts

Diy fall decor ball jar or mason jar layered with coffee beans, then candy corn, and repeat. It smells divine. Then, I put a candle in it and used tulle ribbon to put over the top for the smell.

 I also found repositionable chalk stickers for the jars so I don't have to paint it on. So cute! Happy fall y'all. 

My poor neglected blog

Why I've decided to take a hiatus from Facebook and other social media. Gasp. I just know my time here is so short in light of eternity. The whole use it or lose it principle really was not a whisper today or wasted on me...it was like the word had a bullhorn shouting at me. I usually don't quote the NLT but I love the translation here in matt 13:12 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.

I'm in some transition and all of the hustle and bustle and chaos that comes with living on this fallen sod can so easily cheat you of your focus and contentment. Guilty. Jesus has been the uncontested love of my life and He just put me in some social media time out! 

Also, I love how Beth Moore described a problem in our day...she said that we will get a word from a teacher or pastor and immediately tweet it when we have not yet eaten it! It's so true. We live in a fast food society even when it comes to our relationship with Jesus. Yet, He doesbg entrust Himself to those who are just casual with Him.  He reveals Himself to those who seek after Him. I don't want ears that are stopped up or too dull to hear. It's so easy as I confessed in my journal tonight, to feast at the table of this world and yet almost like Chinese food, only to be hungry for something else 10 minutes later. 

This isn't so much about Facebook but about precious time wasted on pseudo intimacy most of the time...

Anyway, moving right along. 

Why can't my little people understand that they are not supposed to actually use these hand towels? They are just cutesy...not hey come wipe your spaghetti hands all over me towels?!?!? I'd rather them just use their hair for that. 

Next, I found these pictures tonight and some of you will remember well the "baby in the bunny" pic that was on my blog in the beginning. I just wept tonight before The Lord and only He knows why because it was a mixed bag and I didn't even fully know why I was crying other than just needing a good ugly cry without my kids seeing me and wondering why I lost it. 

Y'all this is my Morgan hope. It's almost identical to Blair's pics. Time is flying. She's 8 years old, and I'm getting wrinkles. 

Then, this one killed me. She and Blair could be twins minus the long hair and girl clothes...and well the gender issue. Here she was at the same age as Blair...waiting for her pop to get her. 

Y'all I could bawl. 

Here is my little mister!  He's a stud if I must say so. 

He's something! I've been teaching him about Jesus and the manly stuff in the scripts. We do a lot of grunting and roaring!  He thinks he is so big. 

Sometimes I forget he isn't...like when he cries for his mommy. 

Or when he is only a fresh 2 years old and he decides to potty train himself. Forget the baby potty. He's a man in his mind. Lol. 

Here we are...

And of course I feel like I'm 85 but in my mind I'm still 18!  

This would be me hating the rainbow loom. Do not get me started. 

And of course this is me being so serious. I'm not kidding. Winning tickets for my kids and some little kid casino in auburn al. They want the addicts early. I scored 1500 something tickets with my $20. Look at them overflowing out of my purse. This is the reason y'all that I do not set foot in a casino!!!

That's all for tonight. Finishing up some chores and lip sinking to vineyard worship as I know only Jesus appreciates my voice! 

Love. 

Happy birthday to my baby sister and best friend

I can still remember what I was wearing in 2nd grade on this very day 26 years ago. I remember being so excited to have a baby sister and so nervous! Happy birthday to my baby girl and my best friend. We are so opposite in personality. She is sort of like a guy and we would worry about her because she didn't cry (and if she does cry my claws come out because someone has ticked her off...still enough age gap to be a mama bear) lgrowing up but she is so loyal like a golden retriever. She is a beauty queen and we are both fashionistas in our own right even if she is bling and I'm boho and we still agree to disagree on shoe taste! The first time she walked was on my birthday when she saw a boy. She didn't walk though she ran!  She was the queen in our home. She pointed to something and we did it!  She was my snuggle 

bug and I loved the way that bald headed girl smelled slathered in baby magic! I used to sneak in her room and shake her Jenny Lind crib to make sure she hadn't stopped breathing...I still snuck in my guest room 2 or so years ago to make sure her and her baby were breathing lol)!  Also, I'm almost 9 years older but have always had a godly jealousy for her and have prayed for her and I'm so proud of the godly woman she is and to see her grow. She keeps me honest constantly!  She knows everything about me and somehow scandalously sees Jesus in me still. She doesn't flatter people either with words she doesn't mean. So if she speaks a word of encouragement it is medicine to my soul because I know she isn't cutting the bull!  She hates drama and fiercely loves her baby girl and is deeply caring about family ties almost like Italians! ;) but hey we all got off the boat with Noah!  I love her so much I'd donate an organ if she needed it!  We adore her and especially Morgan. She's been so loving and patient with my kids...and they love aunt Stephs!  Happy birthday stephy!  Praying for more of Jesus for you for every day to come!  

Word art-Daughter of the King

I am the daughter of the King...this world is not my home He is coming for me. He is life and the length of my days...no matter how the enemy has messed with me, he will not get the victory. So until my faith is made sight I will fix my gaze on the Ancient of Days and not let go until He blesses me. 

DIY Garland-cheap

I bought some lace dresses at the thrift store and was going to make garland for a wedding but I don't think anyone was catching the vision but me. Lol. 

Anyway, lace isn't cheap and one dress I bought still had the stein mart tags on it for $99. 

First here are the dresses 

Next, I cut them into strips and ties them onto some jute. 

And here is a close up. I love this and can't wait to use it for my sisters baby shower!  

Put away the pointing of the finger

People are so full of themselves, so full of self love, so distracted, that they have no room for a heart for God or a heart for you. The problem isn't always that oh they don't love themselves. They love themselves alright. Too much to detect or hate their own sin or be able to turn their pointing finger in on themselves or humble themselves. It's called pride and rebellion. When you harden your heart you hide and your life becomes full of secrecy and shame. It then takes more sin to wet your appetite and more blaming others instead of getting on your face and humbling yourself. The thing is, when you deceive others you are being deceived and if you live long in that land you self-destruct but you also believe your own lies. So, I say this to say...some of you have had someone's finger pointed at you blaming you for their actions (when you are not responsible for how someone else acts and can't control anyone else) and telling you that if only _____________ (you fill in the blank) YOU would change then they would do XYZ. Take that load of condemnation off of you my friend. If you notice that after years and even decades the only one who has changed is you...well then maybe you aren't the problem. We are all sinful at best but all you can do is humble yourself and seek His face and ask Him to change you and take steps to obey. Deformed desires won't change apart from a renewed mind from the word. We were created to be filled and we can't quit an addiction or habit or sin without having a new heart and new mind that comes through the word of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. Stand your ground and keep short accounts with sin in your own life. Maybe you need to fess up like I just did before God and clean house spiritually speaking. Whatever you do...don't have ears that are too dull to hear. Turn off the noise. Lean in.  When you seek Him you will find Him when you seek Him with all of your heart. Don't waste your life either pining away for the affections of others that are so in love with themselves that they don't have anything to give. Love comes from God and you have to get it from Him to give it. Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts against Him. He can be trusted and if He is for you then who can be against you? It will be intentional and radical to seek Him and go against the world system but His love is better than life and better is one day in His courts then a thousand days elsewhere. The stakes are high, the devil and his cohorts have an agenda for you and your family...but he can't stand against the LORD. He must and will be defeated. The day is drawing near. Don't fold. 

The birth and death of my little girl. God won't give you anymore than you can bear? Not found in scripture. Walking by faith

It is so hard to believe that my first born would come into this world, live for half an hour and return to be with Jesus and how it's been almost 9 years this week. I'm choking back the tears over what the body of Christ meant to me during that time. I often encourage others to stay in the word and walk by faith when there are no footprints to be seen. Not even The Lords. I walked by faith not by sight and The Lord brought me through what was not bearable. I'm very literal when it comes to cliche sayings that aren't necessarily biblical. Based on this scripture the footprints poem that is so popular goes out the window with me because we are called to walk by faith, not sight, not on our own understanding and heaven forbid by what we "feel" ...our hearts are deceitful above all things.  

Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen. Psalm 77:19 Also, the very over used word that is not in the bible: "God won't give you anymore than you can bear". Life isn't bearable my friends. I think of a precious woman I went to school with her child was backed over by a car and died. That's not bearable. I have a friend now with all manner of health issues whose husband didn't keep his vows and left her. What do you do with that? What do you do with all of the injustices in this world without the hope that God will wipe away every tear? Destroy the final enemy death? What do you do with cancer, a child in prison, a husband murdered, children trafficked and abused???  We live in a fallen world and are in satans domain.   The bible says 1) God doesn't tempt anyone. Impossible. 2) but when we are tempted...we won't be tempted beyond what we are able to bear. He provides a way of escape. Yet it's up to us to take that way. 1 Corinthians 10:13

New International Version (NIV)

13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Also, we are made for relationship but people will fail us and we fail others. Yet through all things Jesus has met me in the pages of scripture and given me a firm place to stand. Get your eyes on Him. He is what you need. Don't miss out on Him because you were waiting on mankind to be to you what only He can.  In the human realm I have been through so much more than I can put on a Facebook status and some actually can't handle authentic people...but you aren't hearing this from someone who hasn't suffered. He is so worthy and will bind up your brokenness. 

He gently leads those that have young.

I was so tired today that I puked. Lol.  But really. My heart aches for those who are single trying to just make it through the day with young ones or teenagers, or those that never feel like they can meet the proverbial bar of expectation before it gets raised a little higher. Those who are lonely or have health challenges and feel condemnation for feeling the way they feel. For those who feel that there must indeed be something wrong with them...and almost drown in a sea of insecurity. My friends who are suffering loss and divorce. To anyone who just barely made it through the day and wondered if there was more to life than this?? To the man or woman wondering if their life matters. Or the one who may be punishing themselves for things that they have already confessed and maybe long repented of but still feel branded by their guilt and shame and seek to medicate the reproach they feel in an unhealthy way. I pray that you will lean in tonight, if you are a believer in Christ and press in to our Saviors chest and let Him give you rest for your weary soul. I so wish I could share the neatest thing I learned in psalm 12 so perhaps ill blog on it but whoever you are, wherever you are, we serve a merciful Savior and He will carry you and tend to you. Lay your heavy burdens down with the One who flung stars into space by His word, and the One who holds the mountains in his hand. Maybe you can just open your bible and turn to Him and take comfort in the psalms. May He revive and refresh you and me for His great Name. Life is hard and requires faith but let's have some faith even if we are wrong about all of the outcomes...believing that no matter what He is worth it! He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. (Isaiah 40:11 NIV)

First day of 3rd Grade

Two are better than one

I just wonder if Solomon thought of this seeing his dad on his deathbed not being able to keep warm. A man that was deeply flawed but believed God and received such mercy, yet a valiant hero maybe in Solomon's eyes. David, at the end...once so strong...now so frail (I'm choking up) and Solomon's (son of david and bathsheba) tenure was one of peace but he was a playboy nonetheless...and as he pens what would indeed be some of his final words in Ecclesiastes (after possessing everything a man could want and seeing it was a chasing after the wind)..I wonder if the thought of his dad and what really matters in life. His servants advised him, “A young virgin must be found for our master, the king, to take care of the king’s needs and serve as his nurse. She can also sleep with you and keep our master, the king, warm.” (1 Kings 1:2 NET)
And then his words: Two people are better than one, because they can reap more benefit from their labor. For if they fall, one will help his companion up, but pity the person who falls down and has no one to help him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together, they can keep each other warm, but how can one person keep warm by himself? Although an assailant may overpower one person, two can withstand him. Moreover, a three-stranded cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NET)

The Lord being our life not a number on a list and loving others out of the love He gives us...
I pray we don't have to look back on a life that is wasted with deep regret because we were chasing what was so empty.

GET UP!

I receive a lot of prayer requests (which is why Morgan is banned from my phone as I want them to stay private) and one thing I've always encouraged is that no matter what you've done, no matter how far you feel you've fallen, what a travesty and tragedy it would be for you just to drop out of corporate worship but moreover how tragic to just put His word down. What you need more than anything is to pick it up. Go to the psalms. You won't find anyone who has blown it, had to utterly depend on God, or had such height and depth of emotion then the man after Gods own heart, David, who penned much of the psalms under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. No matter what he did (murder, adultery, taking a forbidden census and having so much bloodshed on his hands, past victories, failures, betrayal, loss) he believed God would take him back and wanted him back. That's the deal breaker. Do we sin so grace may abound? Heck NO! But did The Lord pay for your sins past, present, and future before you were ever born? Yes! They were nailed to the cross. Do we still face consequences...yes but The Lord still doesn't treat us as our sins deserve. I've seen people light a match to their own flame and medicate with alcohol or drugs until they all but self-destruct. If The Lord allows the enemy to sift you like wheat let Him as something in you needs to die so you may fully live. But as long as you have breath 1) LIFT UP...cry out and stretch your hands up for The Lord to deliver you. 2) GET UP! Strengthen your weak knees so that the lame behind you may walk and endure that discipline as The Lord disciplines is for our good and because we are His (Hebrews 12). 3) WAKE UP! Stay alert. Know where you are weak and where the enemy gets a foothold. Make a plan. But seek not to medicate (I'm not talking about people who truly need medicine for certain things...I'm talking about trying to drown your sorrows or guilt from not repenting with some sort of substance. Run to the word to medicate and take comfort. 4) PICK UP!! Pick up the word of God. We are without excuse and we are to know the truth and abide in it and the truth will set is free. It's not words on a page. 5) OWN UP! confess and own your sin before God. He already knows. He is big enough to handle us spilling our hearts out and urges us too. Also, remember that the Lord is after relationship. He would rather you know Him then you just get delivered to live for yourself. Some of the places of bondage in your life probably didn't just Happen over night and may require some time of critical care with the LORD so your gaping wounds can become scars or even tattoos. Don't forget what He has brought you from or how incapable you are apart from Him and how capable you are of any amount of sin. All of us are sinners and on equal ground at the cross. If you start to get proud GET DOWN and humble yourself. Then, 6) DON'T SHUT UP! Turn back like Peter after he denied Christ what did The Lord pray for him as he knew satan had asked permission to sift him like wheat? That after that he would turn back and strengthen the brethren. People behind you need to know (and maybe not in detail) that if you can blow it and experience full redemption that they can to. The Lord is not finished with you if you still have breath. COME LET US RETURN. “Come, let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him. Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.” (Hosea 6:1-3 ESV)

Benefits without relationship?

In reading this in relationship to God...I thought what a word it is to those in relationships and ESP if you are single. You are not cheap! Do not give what is precious and costly to someone who wants the benefits of a relationship with no responsibility or sacrifice. That's not the way we should roll. And speaking of rolling...when we decide to do it our way, The Lord is redemptive yes, but the stone we roll (whatever it may be that is forbidden) will indeed roll back on us and be the death of us.

Is God a Big Deal to You?

I'm so convinced that a lot of people that say they are believers, yet don't have any demonstration of Christ in their life, yet can show devotion to so many things (work, football, hobbies...and the list could go on even with really good things) but say their faith is private or they aren't demonstrative...that just like the following verse they have not really spent the time to know Him and to taste and see that He is good. If they had, they wouldn't be able to settle for mediocre. Of course we can all fall into lethargy in our walk but are we ok with that kind of apathy? A lot of us are content to settle for less than Gods best. Also, we were all created to worship. It is in our DNA. You don't have to be a hand lifter at church during praise...God looks on the heart. I've seen people who say they aren't demonstrative scream, yell, jump up and down, be ticked at the opposing football team all in a game. We are called to worship and we have an unseen battle, a very real unseen opponent, a team that is eternal, some cheering on we need to do for others in the faith that we need to pass the baton too...yet we get so distracted and caught up that we deafen ourselves to what really matters. I'm not saying don't have hobbies and don't cheer at a game...I'm saying that if you walk with God there should be a demonstration of that. Our faith in Christ and our call in scripture is not a private matter. You can't keep it to yourself and hold to His word being true that we are called to preach the good news, to always be ready to give a reason for the hope we have, and to keep our lamps burning as we hasten His return. Praying God will move in our hearts and lives. That He will give us hearts and minds that love Him with every ounce of us. And that this generation would commend His works to the next. That we would tell of His wonderful deeds and His faithfulness to all who fear Him. I have heard a thousand times that our problem in America is taking God out of schools. Friends God is not in a lot of our homes is the problem. We don't drop our kids off at school or church to teach them about Jesus. We are to teach them diligently.

That entire generation passed away; a new generation grew up that had not personally experienced the Lord ’s presence or seen what he had done for Israel. (Judges 2:10 NET)

Stopping up our ears, hardening our hearts

In our own sin and rebellion or in dealing with someone else's sin and rebellion we can sometimes be shocked at how far we have fallen or someone that we loved or looked up too. The chief root of our sin is pride and then I would not stop there. One thing that scares me to death is people who come to the knowledge of salvation, yet they never go on to maturity in Christ and truly knowing them for themselves. That others might know Him is my passion. To know Him is to love Him and be satisfied in Him. Yet if we don't seek Him we are going to be the dog returning to her vomit as the fool returns to folly. We will begin to cherish sin and have calloused hearts and since we are created with a need to be filled, we too will go after other little gods in an attempt to fill that void. We will rationalize and become deluded in our thinking...all the while destroying ourself and others because we wouldn't hear and wouldn't drink from the well of living water. Yet God in His mercy longs for any prodigal to come home and He longs to redeem your life from the pit for His glory and out of His great grace and mercy. Yet in Romans we hear of Him giving some over to a debased mind because they loved created things instead of the Creator who is to forever be praised. So today, I beg you...if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts against Him. It's not too late to turn around. He does not treat us as our sins deserve and also be aware that the mess we got ourselves into...we didn't get into overnight and to be free we will have to cease cooperating with the flesh, the devil and this world order. We will have to get to know the Healer and let Us become consumed by Him until nothing else will do. Lots wife had opportunity to leave sodom and Gomorrah and in the Hebrew when she looked back and we know she was turned into a pillar of salt...she looked back with a gazing and longing affection on that which would bring her destruction. She loved that place and all it had to offer and she was destroyed by it. You and I must choose. Run like crazy from the things that are devoted to destruction that might bring about your destruction. It really does matter. Eternity is at stake.

Lovers of self

I'm always amazed over how greedy some people are. I'm not sure why it catches me off guard but it's the people who will shop for you at the dollar general but expect their gifts to come from Sax fifth avenue. Or people who say they care about The Lord or others yet faith without deeds is dead and it's one thing to say you are and another thing to demonstrate it. I've also noticed how quick people are to take advantage of givers...but that can be left up to Jesus. I've prayed for years now that The Lord would teach me to number my days aright that I may gain a heart of wisdom and I'm no stranger to trial or suffering and this is not a pity party status but it's a clear reminder in the suffering that we brought nothing into this world and can take nothing out of it. It's all The Lords and we could never give Him anything to repay Him but I do want my life to be a living sacrifice for as long as I have breath. I'm also so thankful for the people in my life that aren't just about words but are about actions. Friends that stick closer than a brother. Words are meaningless if there is no demonstration as we always are going to be demonstrative toward who or what we care about!!! Take it to the bank!!! When people tell me they are not demonstrative about God, yet can jump up and down and scream at a football game...they are demonstrative as we were created by a God full of emotion and demonstration of His love...it's that they just aren't demonstrative about Him because He isn't that big of a deal to them. I'm not talking about hand lifting in public but a demonstration of love and devotion toward the Giver of life. I love Paul's words here: 1 Corinthians 2:3And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling. 4And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power: 5That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

And this in James: James 2:18
But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

Mothers Day

I've been through a lot in my brief tenure here thus far but I can truly say that whatever the enemy has meant for evil, God has meant for my good. It's not words on a page. I've suffered in a lot of private ways and yet I'm thankful because it helps me to share in the sufferings of others. Tonight my heart is heavy over the woman who has tried and tried to have a child and to no avail, the woman whose life hasn't turned out how she thought, the woman whose mother is no longer living, the woman who is estranged from her children, the woman who has been disrespected by her husband as a mother and neglected, the woman who feels such a sense of inadequacy in comparison to the other mothers, the woman who hasn't really had a mom that cared about her, the woman that has miscarried, the woman like myself with a child they had to bury, the woman with regret, the woman who feels deep shame over an abortion and I pray she will understand the forgiveness and redemption there is in Christ, the woman who knows she should just keep believing and have some more faith but is weary...take courage. Mother's Day...it's a mixed bag of emotions. Some days I'm like why are these kids calling me mom? Each time I found out I was pregnant I cried my eyes out. I told God I wasn't fit to raise a child. I would come undone. Yet having those babies has kept me humble and made me see my need for Him in so many ways. I've yet to find that book with the formula on raising them but the only perfect one I know is the scriptures. Loving The Lord and walking in truth are the only things that allow me to love or live before my two. Yet whatever situation you are in please pour out your heart like water in the presence of The Lord. He already knows your pain or your joy and please walk by faith even if you are wrong until you breathe your last breath. Whether you need resurrected relationships or Him to raise the cold dead person in you, whether you are praying for a man, praying for a child, keep knocking, seeking, and asking in His name. That will mean you'll have to get in His word. And from a woman (who thinks she's 18 and can't understand why people call her ma'am) to women may your spiritual offspring be blessed...even if it's not a child you have birthed and may Jesus hold you and comfort you if your mom never did. May He be everything to your precious self. And for those who feel you'll never measure up? Will you get in the psalms and let Him be the lifter of your head as you take all you've learned and row into the future...

God shows no favoritism

I'm reminded tonight that none of us are righteous. No! Not one! Yet I saw the following verse on my computer screen (I've forgotten how to work a laptop lol): "Then Peter started speaking: "I now truly understand that God does not show favoritism in dealing with people," acts 10:34. I wonder how hard a lesson those words were for Peter. It's easy to forget the quarry from which you've been mined from and think you and Jesus have something going on and become all pious and better than everyone else which sets you up for a dangerous fall. I wonder if he remembered how much he had been forgiven of when the Gentiles were coming to faith in our "Jewish Messiah". After all he was one of the 12. He was privy to great intimacy and fellowship...yet because of the death, burial and resurrection those of us who receive Christ also receive the Holy Spirit as a deposit and guarantee of what's to come. His death didn't make sense even to the 3 in His inner circle...yet I wonder if it all came together when the Gentiles were coming to Christ? I wonder if it bolstered his faith to see that what he couldn't see before clearly came to pass, because God is truth and Not a Word of His will pass away until it is fulfilled. So thankful that The Lord reinstates Peter after blowing it BIG TIME!!! The very one that said he would never deny Him...he would even go and die with Jesus yet denied Him with His words and actions. Even more thankful that He uses the life of this rough and tough fisherman to be a big mouth for Jesus and to feed His sheep! He wasn't finished with Peter and Peter absolutely (according to Jerome) went to His death hung upside down on a cross not counting himself worthy to even die in the same manner in which Christ did. Lord, please remove the scales from our eyes, the deceit in our hearts and let us put aside the sin that so easily entangles us and be men and women focused on Christ. Let us walk in a manner worthy and be filled with Your spirit, not gratifying the desires of the flesh. In Jesus Name.

Gilgal

I love how The Lord still rolls away our reproach. Some of us are wearing our reproach like scarlet letters and need The Lord to roll our reproach away from us. I don't know what it is for you...but I pray you will come to your own Gilgal with The Lord. Today I broke out Blair's playpen and he was so excited for a moment. He was grinning as he leaned back. It's been a while since he's been in it and he forgot that it was a land of slavery or baby jail. Lol. That's just like us. We forget how Egypt really was and as a dog returns to her vomit we try to return to the things that were/are devoted to destruction
thinking it was better only to be trapped and imprisoned by sins slavery. We, like Blair, need to cry out to our Father and lift our hands to the sky as we call on the Only One that can deliver us and make us to cross over to our Jordan. Let us not miss our calling.

Recent pics

Thanks to Alan Matthew I had some photos taken! It was for my birthday but I kept waiting for a tan that never came.

Furniture rehab

More on the up do furniture. The brown is before and this was my moms coffee table. It was a tad beat up!