I kid you not

Psalm 27

Of David.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

I grew up with a SERIOUS stronghold...I mean SERIOUS...of fear. Anyway, the Lord has delivered me and is delivering me daily from that. I have shared before that when I had Morgan I did not want her to see her mother living in fear and jade her as well. HERE is a quick post about that. So two days in a row I have been able to meet up with the Hoover Police. I went on a simple trip to the dollar tree and I walk in, again on the phone with my sister, and this man begins to circle me and walk up and down past me and then he said mmm' mmm' mmm'. O.K., what in the world? Then, he follows me all around the store. My little sis stayed on the phone because it was making me nervous. Then, a man that seemed to be drunk, in his 50's, holding a bottle of Dr. Pepper, started waving at me and saying HEEEEYYYY!. Stephanie was still on the phone and she asked me if I was talking to the guy who was following me. No, this was a different one. Then, the original guy starts to signal another man about me. I am not making this up. So, I call Rod and tell him and I told him I was going to call the police which are right behind that dollar tree. Two officers made it within a minute and they made sure I got to my car and did not get followed. I found myself so fearful tonight and last night but I don't want to start freaking out thinking the worst about everyone ya know. I am just starting to wonder if I have a freak magnet on my head j/k.
oh well. Thank the Lord for protecting me!

Pastor Greg Lauries Son Dies

Here is the You Tube video CLICK HERE.
My heart breaks for them.

here is what i made tonight

I am personally my own worst critic but I just thought I'd show you anyway.
Don't forget my post before this. ;)

I was robbed by a little old lady in a motorized cart and I didn't even see it coming-Dumb and Dumber

Tonight my little sister and I went to paint. I did not get back to my side of town until almost 10. I stopped at my normal gas station and was on the phone with my sister explaining about a bible study to her. Then, a guy approaches me while I am on the phone...it took me a while to realize he was talking to me since he was clearly interrupting my phone conversation. I started to get anxious because in my prejudgment he and the guy he was with seemed sketchy. So, they gave me some sad story about how they needed gas and blah blah blah. I said that I would not give them any money but I would go in and prepay some gas for them. This is not me trying to tell you a good deed.
I pull out of the station and see them filling up a gas can. Oh ps they never said thank you...nothing. So, I drive by and I was going to turn around to get their tag number since I felt like they were up to no good.
I talked to a detective real quick and asked him to check them out and told him what car they drove. He looked for them to no avail. I told him I thought it was weird that they needed gas, their car was at the pump, and yet they were filling up a gas can. So, I ran back bye there in the name of "citizen watch" and they were gone. I went in and my friend Linda was getting off work. She didn't know I had come in at first. The attendant, Bill, knows me but not that well. So, he proceeds to tell me that they came back in and said I was their sister (one guy was white and one black) and they got the money back that I had prepaid for them. It made me so angry (my sister was sure I was going to try to scope them out since my family think I missed my calling of being in law enforcement...I sure would if I wasn't so little) but I had to give it over to the Lord and acknowledge that everything is His and He is the judge. They asked me and I gave it to them and all that I have is God's but they really just plain startled me.
I also had to realize that when handed over to our sinful wicked hearts we are so depraved as I stood there and thought about how I would never do something like that. I guess I could left to my own demise.
It made me furious and I had to remind myself that the LORD is the Judge.
So what do we do? Do we become jaded and never give because we have been wronged before? Or do we stick to what God's word says? These verses came to me in the car as I was fuming mad. I am still getting it out of my system because I wanted to track them down after that incident. Just being honest.

Luke 6:28-30

28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.

I dyed my hair tonight...

I had a clear hair dye thing that I purchased some time ago and I never used it. Well, around midnight I decided I would dye my hair with this clear dye that is supposed to make it shiny. Since I am not complaining...(see previous post)...I will just show you the pics and let you know that my hair in no way has any added shine. Keep in mind I have NO makeup on and it is 1:26am

These are both obviously self portraits and I have a headache so the flash was kind of hurting my eyes. And this would also be my favorite pink robe that I wear even in the summer because Rod keeps the house FREEZING!!

my hair is not fixed here but clearly you can see there is no shine.

A couple of things...

morgan's mad skillz

Morgan eating cake at Jacksons bday

-Morgan went to a friends birthday party on Saturday and when it came time to open the presents she realized (after celebrating her birthday a month ago) that she was not getting any presents. She looked at me and said "Mommy let's go!" Isn't that so us sometimes. We realize nothing is in it for us so we want to bail out. She had a great time though. That little booger would not let me fix her hair today or yesterday.

-Next...Rod and I were in the kitchen and I was telling him that I felt lonely today. He quickly said, "Are you about to start your period?"
Well, come to think of it...tomorrow is the day...I told him. You have to love that! It always amazes me how I forget each month and how easy in life it is to not watch yourself or your own tendencies even toward sin. It is much easier to run off of our feelings and plunge into sin. Glad the man straightened out why I was feeling that way today.

-Time for my conviction part:
Philippians 2:14
14Do everything without complaining or arguing,

Last night I was washing dishes and I was about to open my mouth and complain about something when the above verse came up in my spirit. Don't you love that?
But really...do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing?
What if we really just tried to apply that word for a day, and then another day, and maybe a week until it becomes a holy habit?
When you think about it complaining and arguing really sucks the life and energy out of you or at least me and rarely accomplishes anything. Oh that the Lord would help me to be thankful instead of ungrateful. I don't want to wander in the wilderness of grumbling and complaining like the Israelites.
I reason a lot that if I don't air something out then nothing will be done about it. Or I justify my complaints by just saying they are facts not really complaints. The LORD is GOD, He is mighty and able and has been encouraging me to wait on Him and call on Him instead of complain or argue. I am going to take it an hour at a time and a day at a time...and hopefully there will be some progress as I seek to apply this one simple verse.

Good night.

Siestas!!!

Yay! I just changed my fight from Thursday to Sunday! SO I will be able to attend the festivities on Saturday night! WHHHOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!

This ministered to me so much

Sorry I have not had much time to return emails or anything lately. I did want to share this and just say how much it ministered to me:

Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Greg Laurie
Right Where You Are

"So Elijah went and found Elisha son of Shaphat plowing a field with a team of oxen. . . . Elijah went over to him and threw his cloak across his shoulders and walked away again."

— 1 Kings 19:19

What was Elisha doing when Elijah called him into the Lord's service? Was he walking around saying, "I wonder if God ever will do anything in my life?"

No. He was busy. He was plowing a field.

You will find this pattern throughout Scripture. The people God uses are people who are faithful with what He has put before them. The people God uses in big things are people who are faithful in little things.

A lot of people of think that, one day, they would like to perhaps dedicate their lives to Christian service. They say, "I would like to go to another country and maybe become a missionary."

That is great, but how about serving the Lord where you are right now? Do you think that some mystical thing will happen the moment you step onto foreign soil? Seize the opportunities around you today.

If you want to go to a foreign land where people speak a different language, I know of such a place. The people indigenous to this region are small of stature and hard to understand. They try your patience. They are called kids, and the mission field is called Sunday School.

When we are busy looking for distant opportunities, we might miss the ones that are right in front of us.

Are you serving the Lord right now with what He has called you to do? If so, be faithful in that. Hang in there. Do it well. Do it as unto the Lord. He sees you, and He will one day reward you openly.



Have Pastor Greg's devotions blessed you? Write and tell him!
Greg@harvest.org

Want to read more from Greg Laurie? Be sure to check out his weekly columns at World Net Daily. Click here to read his latest article.

Copyright ©2008 by Harvest Ministries. All Rights Reserved.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Give Me a Break!!

CHECK THIS

Besides the tomb is empty. HE died for our sins and is no longer hanging on that cross but seated at the right hand of the Father.

The Potter Changes the Clay

Isaiah 64:8
8 Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter;
we are all the work of your hand.

Check this familiar passage out from Jeremiah 18:1-4

1 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : 2 "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." 3 So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. (emphasis mine)

One thing I struggle with the most is "feeling" forgiven. I can let condemnation really get to me even though I know where it is coming from. I will sometimes replay the past or just plain beat myself up wishing I could turn back the clock at times. As I sit here and share these verses I am reminded that the LORD, our Father, is the potter and we are the clay.

As I read these verses I am reminded that God can give any of us a fresh start. He can take our past, as marred as it may be, and form it into another pot, shaping it as it seems best to Him. Will we let our unbelief stand in the way of recklessly abandoning ourself to Him as He allows us to be reshaped in our loving Fathers hands? Will we persist in wallowing in how we don't "feel" forgiven and continue to self-loathe over our past? Or will we allow restoration, unfailing love, and forgiveness to color and shape our future? None of us are to far gone. We have got to believe that. We must remember that we all fall short of the glory of God and that we can not compare ourselves to flesh and blood when God is the standard. We are sanctified, restored, and given dignity only by His grace. We can't even allow others to dictate our forgiveness in Christ. We have got to go to the word and say "Lord who do you say I am in You?"

Last week this verse hit me like a ton of bricks:
Psalm 103:4 Amplified Bible
4Who redeems your life from the pit and corruption, Who beautifies, dignifies, and crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercy; (emphasis mine)


To the Israelites the reference to pit signified Sheol (the grave or death). When we sew to the flesh we reap death and corruption, yet when we sew to the Spirit we reap life and peace. As believers in Christ we have that constant battle with our old nature. It does not go away and when we fall we can get back up and we can stand at the cross, bask in His grace, and allow Him to beautify, dignify, and crown us with loving-kindness and tender mercy. Our God is a God of constant redemption and restoration. No, we do not sin that grace may abound, but when we call to Him He will come for us and redeem our life from the pit. I love Him so.

Hosea 6:3
3 Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth."

Waiting on the Lord

July 18, 2008

WAIT . . . AND LISTEN
by Charles R. Swindoll

Read Esther 4:12--17; Isaiah 41:10, 13

During the three days of waiting, there is a "white space" when nothing is happening---at least nothing visible. You could easily tell yourself at the time, "I'm waiting in vain. Nothing's going to change." That's what the adversary wants you to think: "Waiting's a waste." Don't you believe it! When the enemy's message roams into your mind, you need to kick it out. Reject it. Look at another verse in Isaiah, just a few verses after the "eagle" verse.

Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand,
Who says to you, "Do not fear, I will help you." (Isaiah 41:10, 13)

It's those kinds of thoughts that surely strengthened Esther while she was waiting, praying, and fasting for those three days. Mordecai did the same, as Esther had commanded. But now their roles were reversed. He was no longer in charge; she was. Or, better still, the Lord was. And as the Lord gripped her heart, she became unafraid of what she faced.

This may be one of those "white spaces" in your own life. Maybe it's time for you to pray and fast and to call upon a few close friends to fast and pray with you. Maybe it's time for you to say, "I'm not going to rush into this unpredictable and unprecedented situation. I can't find the path to walk. So I'm going to wait. In the meantime, I'm going to give it to God. I'm going to listen with a sensitive ear and watch the Lord's leading with a sensitive eye."

God counsels us with His eye. The eye makes no sound when it moves. It requires a sensitive, earthly eye to watch the movement of the eye of God---God's directions. All He may do is turn your attention in another direction. But that may be all you need. As you wait, listen. Pore over a favorite passage in His Word. Quietly give attention to His presence, and He gives you direction.

Taken from Charles R. Swindoll, Great Days with the Great Lives (Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2005). Copyright © 2005 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission.

walk in the word

For those of you who don't get his weekly devotional here it is (by pastor James MacDonald).

Who Do You Serve?

Choose this day whom you will serve. Joshua 24:15

Everybody serves somebody. Everybody has somebody in charge of his life. I’m not sure that Bob Dylan got a lot of things right, but he was right on target when he wrote the song, “Gotta Serve Somebody.” It’s the truth:

• Some people choose an esteemed person to serve. They make the dangerous choice to look to an authority figure, a pastor, a professor, or a politician. Problem is, look closely enough and you’ll see that person’s massive imperfections and become disillusioned.

• Some people serve a close relationship as their ultimate authority. “I just do whatever my wife wants.” Or “Unless my son is happy, I can’t be either.” Psychologists call it codependency, when you’re so wired into another person that your life goes sideways if his gets off track.

• Some people decide to serve a mission, a value, or an organization. They’re always raising the flag for some important cause. We feed the poor, we save the trees, or we elect the best possible candidates.

• Some people serve a personal agenda. I’ll get this degree; I’ll reach this milestone; I’ll break this record; I’ll build this company. Of course, that’s just a thinly veiled version of the most common one, the goal that most people are pursuing...

• Most people serve themselves. Most people live by this philosophy. At the end of the day, I’ll do what works for me. I’m the one who’s in charge here. That’s the religion of the masses.

If you have never made a choice, a real choice, for Jesus Christ as Lord, you probably are on this last agenda by default. You may not feel like you chose, but by not making a deliberate, conscious choice, you have been swept up in the cultural current and carried along in the whitewater of living for self.

Far truer than people are willing to admit, you choose who you serve. Your life can be different, your choice to change it is right within your grasp. The person who adamantly claims he has no choice is at that moment making the choice to articulate his frustration about the pressure from others to choose what he wants. Still, we choose whether or not to accept the pressure.

As much as someone might love you, no one can choose for you. Even God, who loves you perfectly, will not choose for you. There are simply some crucial decisions you have to make for yourself. The ball is in your court. Joshua was right when he challenged Israel, “Choose this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15).

They are here!

I am so excited! I just got home from meeting StaceyStace (she is so precious and has such a heart for Jesus) and then my man. I looked at the front door and I did not see the much anticipated package that I have been looking for. Then, glory, I saw it at my back door.

Rod and I were in Academy the other day and I saw some shoes that I really wanted. Some of you will not even like them but they are so me. They did not have my size so I called every store around. Rod got online and found them for 10 dollars less and free UPS 2 day shipping! So here they are...I am about to wear them to take a nap. They are THE most comfortable shoes ever! If you see me Sunday with my best dress on and these shoes I will go ahead and apologize!!

CLICK HERE

This is my 700th post and one that I felt was very blogworthy. ps I will be giving you 700 fun facts about me later!! Just kidding.

I think I just got a word from the Lord from Mark 6:9 what you say?
9Wear sandals but not an extra tunic. So maybe I won't wear them with my dress on Sunday!!

People watching and a few other things

First off, I am at Panera studying and I am so A.D.D. that I seriously have a hard time concentrating. These men next to me have a total right to be in this place and talk...and yet I am so bored TO DEATH with their conversation. Then, homeboy across the way...if he says oh my G-d! one more time I am going to have to start singing some praise up in Panera so the rocks won't have to cry out.

Thankfully, Rod rarely reads my blog so I am about to tell on myself. I currently have an addiction to E.L. Fudge cookies. You know....the little elves with the chocolate in the middle. That is usually what I eat all day. I have had to smuggle the cookies into the house so he doesn't catch me. I have been Little Debbie free for months now btw. Soooo I had to order a bagel "to go" so I can be here and study.

So to my point:
If we are true bible believers and we say that God's word is the absolute authority, why do we have such a hard time believing and having that belief show up in how we act? I had to ask myself that this morning. I am very sanguine and if you know me you will testify to that. I talk a lot and that can be bad. If I feel like I need to make someone feel welcomed I talk and talk if they aren't saying anything. I HATE forced or fake conversation so I can be to real sometimes and not hold back as much as I should. This is forever something that I am going to the Lord over. A certain area of weakness I have is with my family. It is so easy for me to let my guard down, maybe talk about or criticize others and etc. So this morning I read this in the amplified version (Please take a minute to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you with these verses):

Ephesians 4:29-31
29Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it.

30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God's own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).

31Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).

There is a park near me that Morgan and I go to and it has a little lake. As you walk over a bridge you will see a dried up, green, foul, polluted section of the lake. It just sits there stagnant. Our mouths of course are a reflection of our hearts. That is how I try to gauge what the state of someones soul is, what I mean as whether or not they know Christ. It doesn't take long to hear someones heart by what flows out of their mouth. So, what about me? How do I reflect Christ with my conversation. Is my talk foul, unwholesome, unproductive, idle, polluted? Is it worthless chatter that just leads to gossip or ungodliness? Am I building others up? Speaking the truth in love? Being honest? Do I point people to God's word for counsel? These are all questions that I am asking myself this morning. I am praying that God will touch my mouth and allow me to be penetrated so much with the word that my talk would be pleasing to Him...to the One that I must give an account to.

When God appointed Jeremiah to be a prophet to the nations he was about 20 years old. The same age as King Josiah who made a lot of good reforms to Judah. Josiah became king when he was 8 years old because his father was assassinated. So him and Jeremiah would have been about the same age. The book of the law was found during the time of Josiah's ministry. Usually, as you know the king and the High Priest were the only ones who had a copy of the Book of the Law. God's word was neglected as Judah moved away from God, just as we move away from God we begin to neglect His words and our hearts move from Him and turn toward idols. Sometimes we feel that we can never be restored to the fellowship we once had once we have moved away from God. That is a lie from the pit of hell! Cleaning up our mouths or any true revival is going to come for us through a steady dose of God's word and taking Him at His word. He is so good and I regret so much the times that I have moved away from God to follow my own sinful desires. It left me nothing but shame and regret. Over and over in Deuteronomy you will see God telling His people to purge the evil from among them. You will also see in James that our tongues are evil and full of deadly poison (James 3:6, 8). We have got to repent and have some evil purged from our lives as well. God wants to use us as an instrument of blessing and He wants to have His word in our hearts and on our lips. It was my prayer this morning that He would touch my mouth and that I would speak His words. That I would repent of things that I have said and just seek His heart and face. The fact is God is NOT going to unleash His power when we are blessing Him but cursing those made in His image. Fresh water and salt water can't flow from the same source. Oh that the Lord would heal us that He would heal me and that my conversation would be centered on Him.

Jeremiah 1:6-9
6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth.


I am seriously praying for everyone that reads this as well that our conversation would be that of Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

If you made it this far...have a blessed day. I have to stop because I have a tendency to go on and on!! I am giving Him some praise up in Panera! Let's have mouths consecrated to Him so that we may be different, set apart, and so the rocks won't have to cry out on our behalf.

ps I hope this makes some sense. I was typing and listening to praise music at the same time.

With much love! Blessed be Your Name Lord!!!

Morgan your online baby book =)

Morgan Hope~
There are so many things I love about you that I don't want to forget.
I love the words you use like for umbrella it is a rainbrella.
Today you argued with me over poo poo in the potty. You insisted that it was called a turd and not poo poo. We are going to have to correct this vocabulary VERY soon...and I must say you did not get it from me. Please no offense.
Also, every person that is African American is named Little Bill to you. We do need to get out more because it is quite embarrassing when you call people little bill from the tv cartoon (google it if you don't know what I mean).
Now that you have your very own bow you are kiwwing (killing) bucks left and right on the tv. Someone call PETA!
I love to hear you repeating me on bible verses it is so cute.
I even love to hear a little greek or hebrew come out of your baby mouth especially this one:
Ha-Shem "The Name"...your dad thinks we need to stick to English for now but it tickles me.

I love how you are so creative (ha ha) with naming your baby names like Baby Born you named Baby Home. Then, it was quite a show as you threw her off the bed last night because she was sleeping next to you. Can we say we don't need a baby brother or sister any time soon.

Tonight was really fun when you poopied in the bath tub...yes that would be the guest bath so please come feel free to take a shower at our house. We did bleach it tonight.

I see my own stubborn self in you so much. We have got to get that under control!
Also, it amazes me that you would go tubing on the lake at 2 years old. No fear. Yes with adult supervision.

Another favorite of mine is when you refer to yourself in 3rd person. When I picked you up from summer camp today you asked me where Morgan hopes book was? It cracks me up!!

I enjoy your little stubborn, tenacious self so much and consider myself blessed to mother you.

A Family Affair!

My sister left me a comment on one of the posts regarding Morgan going #2 on the potty. She told me that if ever I had another stalker (I had one once that wore a fanny pack)...
that they would seriously know everything about me on my blog including stomach issues and when Morgan goes number 2. So, for the record SHE DID IT AGAIN #2!! I can just hear the sounds of you cheering from your computer.
Back to the stalker he was really scary and would stand in the corridor near where I worked and just watch me, call me and etc. I would literally freeze up in fear. He had to be banned from where I worked and from my church, the police even had to get involved. I hate thinking about it.

So, when Morg's did the number 2 she held the phone to the toilette to try to show her aunt steph. Then she called her MiMi and all of her cousins got on the phone and cheered for her going poo poo! It was the funniest thing. It scared me when she was holding the phone near the toilette thinking they could see it. We are just weird like that.

Another thing, God really has a sense of humor. Of course He does. I love to laugh and we were made in His image so I know He has to have a good laugh from His throne.
Rod got a new bow for hunting season. Like a kid with a new toy he has been admiring it and watching every hunting show on television. The funny thing is Morgan is watching them to and she doesn't want him to change the channel. She does some really funny stuff and she got a clothes hanger that had cardboard on it (don't try this at home people) and she took it pointed it straight at the buck mounted on our wall and pulled back the cardboard like she was going to shoot it. Then she said I killed a buck!!!! I about died and had to call Rod to tell him. He is hunting down a bow for her now. Anyway, I guess she is going to take a liking to his sport and I thought I was going to have me a weekend buddy...guess not.

And on another note: For the past 9 days I have been struggling with something called pelvic congestion syndrome and it really hurts when I sit or stand. I do not want to take the medicines that I could take for them 1. because one of them would make me gain like 30 lbs. and 2. I tried the other one and it made me dizzy and I had some swelling...so no thanks.

So, I really need to get back to normal and I know some of you will seriously pray for me. Also, my little friend Mohammed at the gas station asked me where I was going the other day and I told him to the doctor and he said you are always going to the doctor. It is pretty sad when the guy at the gas station says that. LOL!

I forgot to tell you

THIS is what I got for my anniversary. My friend Donna told me that the generic to the Chi was just as good as the real one. I am so pleased. In honor of Rod I got the pink camo. I also use the flat iron spray at the bottom of the page and it works really well. I think it is called Beyond the Zone Turn Up the Heat protection spray. I told Rod that it was not a want but a need because I CAN NOT have long hair without a flat iron.

random- Encourage one another daily

I am so dizzy that I don't know why I am attempting to blog but I am. My little best buddy spent the night with her MiMi and Pop last night. She stayed with them while I went to the doctor and when her dad went to get her SHE DID NOT want to come home. I didn't know what to do with myself last night and as sad as this is I felt lonely without her around. She never spends the night out. It made me think of how fast this time really is going bye. I wish I could stop time and stay in these precious times with her. The Lord reminded me last night that He is my portion. It is so easy to get our identity wrapped up in being a mom or wife or single or whatever. The Lord wants me to mother my sweet child but my identity has to be in Him and I don't need to find my identity in just being her mommy. I was thinking ahead last night about when she grows up and when she leaves the house and my heart ached. I know it is a woman thing. I know Rod was like Jenny she is only 3.

Last night, I felt like I was single again. I curled up in my bed and read my bible without distraction until my man came in and turned on a hunting show. As she was gone I just prayed scripture over all of us and I prayed for most of you that have sent me emails asking me to pray about some very dark valleys you are in. I asked God to heal you and that you would draw near to Him with your broken heart and let Him bind it up. That you would not be under the weight of the enemy's condemnation. I have come to love some of you that have poured your heart out to me so much. It is so wonderful that we have this connection in Christ.

My heart aches for some of the things that you are going through and I am faithfully going to the throne of grace for you. It's like the Steven Curtis Chapman song that talks about carrying you to Jesus on my knees. And we still need to pray for him and his sweet family after the tragic loss of their daughter.

Anyway, I have had these verses on my heart for like 3 weeks:

Hebrews 3:12-14
12See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. 14We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.

I started to feel lonely the other day and my friend reminded me of Psalm 68:6

6 God sets the lonely in families,

he leads forth the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. (emphasis mine)

If we will stop long enough to hear the ache in our own soul and take the time to run to Jesus He will heal us, and fill us with His Spirit. I truly believe that through our suffering we come to know Him in a way that we couldn't know Him. Meaning that the gaping voids in our soul that we so desperately try to fill with other things can only be filled by Him. Lord convict us when we try to stuff the world in our soul in search for happiness or to medicate our own pain. Let us run to Him and find refuge and rest.

Back to my Hebrews 3 verses. It is so easy to get wrapped up in so many other things, and sometimes we are just plain entangled in our own sin that we don't take the time to encourage one another daily.

The writer of Hebrews says "12See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. "

Sin is so deceitful. If you and I don't keep short accounts with the Lord of confession and repentance we can get so choked out in our walk with the Lord that we have a sinful unbelieving heart and we can turn from Him and turn to sin in our unbelief. Notice the last part..."turns away from the living God." Our God is a living God. Yet we so often operate out of our feelings that we stifle the Spirit of God within us and become less sensitive to His voice. I know at times I have had that sinful unbelieving heart and for a season I have turned my back on the living God. I hate the times where I have left the God I love. I am so thankful for His grace and loving discipline and most of all the mercy that He died for us to give.

So as believers that are engaged in a real battle with unseen forces in the heavenly realms we are to encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today. I am so thankful for one friend especially, Jessica. She encourages me literally daily with scripture. She prays for me and encourages me to believe God, and to forgive myself at times for what God has already forgiven me of. She know my faults and prays for them. She asks me how I am doing with the things I am struggling with. And she loves me with all of my flaws. We are not co-dependent but we are Christ centered in our relationship as I seek to do the same for her. It is so easy to get in a tangled web of sin and become hardened by sins deceitfulness. We can become so deceived that we don't even recognize it once we start to move away from God. Because if we harden our hearts in rebellion we are ultimately moving away from God and becoming hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
13But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

I can not remember for the life of me who said this but I remember hearing it: "If we are being deceived, we will start to deceive others." It is so true because we are deceiving ourselves.

The Lord reminded me as I was feeling lonely to pour out myself and try to minister to others through sending them mail (yes actual mail with a stamp on it) and scripture and to pray for them. We have got to stop focusing so much on ourselves and pour ourselves out to encourage one another. For a time I sort of got lost in my own little world and have really neglected that.

Well, that is all I am going to say on that for now but I have a quick story about how sweet my Lord is. Yesterday, I was on the phone with Roderick on my way home from a Doctors appointment and I being my dramatic self told him that I had just finished a bible study I was working on and that if I didn't get another one to do on my own in the mornings that I would go off the deep end. He said Jenny GO GET ONE! He knows me. I always have a book going, a study, and at night I just read the bible and let the Holy Spirit speak to me. Anyway, I prayed asking God to show me what to do and "Can We Talk" by Priscilla Shirer totally leaped out at me. So if you are looking for something to do I can tell you it is already good!!!

Back to my story. The other day this young man at Lifeway had recommended a cd to me. He said they had it in stock for 7 dollars yet we couldn't find it. I knew he was new there and mentioned that I was having a hard time finding any really good music.

Well, when I get to Lifeway yesterday, he remembered me and said hey I have that cd for you out in my car. It was such a blessing and once again I saw that if the Lord wants me to have something that I need to be still and wait on Him. Sometimes He just wants to bless His children but we get so busy "blessing" ourselves that we don't have time to stop and see how freely He gives.

Well, I am still dizzy and I doubt many of you made it this far but if it is just for one person then that is why all of this was burning on my heart. Be encouraged. The Lord is the Living God. Even if you don't feel it in your present circumstance He is. He is working in your situation in His time.

Love

What kind of swimsuit are you?

My sweet friend Kim had this going on her blog and mine turned out the same as hers:

Take the quiz yourself http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofswimsuitareyouquiz/

This is funny because I never wear a one piece and I don't think I have ever owned one...although I am very modest...ask any of my friends.

You Are a One Piece Swimsuit

You are a bit conservative and traditional. And you are not at the beach to put your body on display! You are a low maintenance person. You like to look good, but you're not vain. Your taste tends to be sophisticated. You always opt for classy over trashy.

What Kind of Swimsuit Are You?

What does LOL mean?

Here is a little blog tutorial for all of the people that google this.
LOL means Laugh out loud.
Since I type so much (you can ask my little sister) I speak in blog terms. If I think something is funny I say laugh out loud. It is a bit ridiculous. I also pretend like I am typing with my hands if I share something with someone that I typed. I am getting even weirder!

I just realized that I have not had a shower today. If you know me...you will know how crazy that is. YUCK! I did not go to church today because of some stomach issues. I know you needed to know that.

Also, I have an announcement....drum roll please ./ ./ ./ MORGAN WENT #2 on the potty!!!! YAY!!! #2 means she had a bowel movement!

5 Years Ago Today

I married this man...

AND IN FIVE YEARS...
Had our firstborn Shelby and had to let her go be with Jesus (one of the saddest days of our life)...

We had our second born Morgan Hope (one of the most anticipated, joyful days of our life)...

She stole our hearts and our world...

I married a hunter and a man who truly is a warrior at heart. He is ALL boy....let's just say that!!

There is no changing him either ;)

I remember praying and praying asking God for this to be my husband. Through prayer the Lord confirmed that it was him. I knew it in my heart as well. There was something so different about him than any other man I had dated. He was strong, independent, and secure. I know the Lord has used that to make me more secure in the Lord since I have dealt with so much insecurity in my life.
We have been through a lot together good and bad. We have walked through the valley together and have had to rely on our faith in the Lord Christ to see us through our trials. There have been times when we both felt like giving up because marriage is hard. But we have just kept going.
God has changed me so much in the last five years and I know He will continue to. I have learned that iron sharpening iron is a painful thing at times when you live with someone and they see all of your flaws and call you out to help burn the fake out of you.
I have also learned most of all that as human and frail as we are...no one can meet our needs like the Lord Jesus. No one holds a candle to Christ and no man can ever be my false Christ. I am to look to the Lord to meet the deepest needs of my soul.
Isaiah 54:5
5 For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

I am so thankful for the love and forgiveness that has flown through Rod over me. He has been so loyal to me.

I pray that this will be the rule in our home as long as the Lord gives us years together:

Psalm 105:4
4 Look to the LORD and his strength;
seek his face always.

bible study

Morgan story:

Sunday Rod started a new bible study. Morgan asked me where he was and I told her.
She folded her arms and said "I READY TO GO TO BIBLE STUDY!!!!"

Then, I was leaving Tuesday night for bible study and she saw me leaving and checking the mail. She stood at the front windows, red faced, and screaming crying so loud (running from window to window beating on the glass) that I could hear her at the mailbox: "I READY TO GO TO BIBLE STUDY!!!"

We are one mean family not letting that baby go to bible study.

how to waIt

 From Streams in the Desert  By Charles Cowan

(1) How To Wait

"Blessed is he that waiteth" (Dan. 12:12).

It may seem an easy thing to wait, but it is one

of the postures which a Christian soldier learns

not without years of teaching. Marching and

quick-marching are much easier to God's warriors

than standing still.

There are hours of perplexity when the most

willing spirit, anxiously desirous to serve the

Lord, knows not what part to take. Then what

shall it do? Vex itself by despair? Fly back in

cowardice, turn to the right hand in fear, or

rush forward in presumption?

No, but simply wait. Wait in prayer, however.

Call upon God and spread the case before Him;

tell Him your difficulty, and plead His promise

of aid.

Wait in faith. Express your unstaggering

confidence in Him. Believe that if He keep you

tarrying even till midnight, yet He will come at

the right time; the vision shall come, and shall

not tarry.

Wait in quiet patience. Never murmur against the

second cause, as the children of Israel did

against Moses. Accept the case as it is, and put

it as it stands, simply and with your whole

heart, without any self-will, into the hand of

your covenant God, saying, "Now, Lord, not my

will, but Thine be done. I know not what to do; I

am brought to extremities; but I will wait until

Thou shalt cleave the floods, or drive back my

foes. I will wait, if Thou keep me many a day,

for my heart is fixed upon Thee alone, O God, and

my spirit waiteth for Thee in full conviction

that Thou wilt yet be my joy and my salvation, my

refuge and my strong tower." --Morning by Morning

Wait patiently wait, 

God never is late; 

Thy budding plans are in Thy Father's holding, 

And only wait His grand divine unfolding. 

Then wait, wait, 

Patiently wait.

Trust, hopefully trust, 

That God will adjust 

Thy tangled life; and from its dark concealings, 

Will bring His will, in all its bright

revealings. 

Then trust, trust, 

Hopefully trust.

Rest, peacefully rest 

On thy Saviour's breast; 

Breathe in His ear thy sacred high ambition, 

And He will bring it forth in blest fruition.

Then rest, rest,

Peacefully rest! --Mercy A. Gladwin