Sunday, December 13, 2009

Off the Chain!!

This post is going to be so incredibly random. I have so much I want to say to all two of you who actually read my blog. There have been so many things that I have learned lately and I just want to jump on here and tell you all about it but I haven't had the time. Here goes nothing...
Tonight I was at a local Christian bookstore and I have been popping in there for the last 7 years. Well, the guy who owns it is really nice but kind of stoic. If you were to get a picture in your mind of meek and what it would look like without truly understanding that meekness is power under control this guy would be the poster child for the latter. So, I am looking through the bibles WAITING for the new bonded leather version of the Key Word Study and hoping it would appear as a Christmas Miracle on the shelf even though it isn't scheduled to come out until Dec. 15. Well, you really needed to know that. So, Glory in the Highest by Chris Tomlin was playing and I have been LOVING that CD. I literally start to cry in a section of that store just thinking about my Savior and I begin to thank Him out loud because I am strange. I thought I am really about to bawl my eyes out in here over the fact that Jesus still loves me. He still listens to me. He still forgives me. He still reveals Himself to me. I have no idea is a crazy love that He has for His own. So, it is time for the store to close and I was trying to pull it together and not just get on my face before the Lord in that store. I told him that I was about to lose it because I just did not know where I would be without Jesus other than the island of self-destruction. I apologized for the fact that I was about to cry at that music tugging on the strings of my heart. I kid you not there was no fluctuation or any emotion at all from him other than maybe his inward thoughts of man this girl has lost it but at least she keeps shopping here. No really. The man is a nice guy but I felt sorry for him that I was his patron tonight! I got in the car and just cried and all I can say to the Lord over and over tonight is thank You. He has been so good to me. Just like the words to a popular song: "I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross." Truly I can't comprehend the Eternal, Immortal One, in all of His holiness and splendor stooping down to make a way for us through the cross. It is a matchless love.
Through raising Morgan I have come to realize that as I address certain areas with her that the Lord needs to address certain things in my own life. The whole "build a kids self-esteem as high as you can" theory is raising a bunch of brats. We need good self-esteem yes but we don't need to think that we are the end all be all. We don't need to think of ourselves more highly than we ought. We have to show our children their need for a Savior. Tonight Morgan said something so ugly (not a cuss word just to clarify but it was ugly) and I told her how unhappy I was about that and we talked about it but I wanted her to know that what she said came from her heart and how desperately we need Jesus to change us because we can't do it on our own. I went through a really bad season and I can promise you it is because of Jesus that I can even get out of the bed some days. I need Him so bad. There are constantly things in my own heart and mind that I just need Him to cleanse me of and help me be renewed over.

I took a jog down my own "destructive lane" past today and it really is scandalous that the Lord's mercies are new with us and that He would remove our transgressions as far as the east is from the west, which is a distance that will never meet and you can never measure.

Whoever you are, wherever you are, keep persevering. He who promised is faithful.

I have been working a lot around the house just to do some things the way I want them and I love the thought that Jesus has gone to heaven, a real live place, with real live people, and real live property, to prepare a place for us. As I have been doing things to change up Morgans room it has been such a reward to see how excited she has been. It has been my delight to prepare a place for her. Her very own room. Girlfriend doesn't even know how blessed she is since I shared a room with 2 other sisters (which I wouldn't have traded for anything). The Lord is doing the same for you and me. He delights in us and makes room for us at His table. The King of Glory. He doesn't just put up with us He loves us lavishly. As I hear of so many tragedy's I am reminded that we just weren't meant for this fallen state but because of sin here we are. Then, the Savior was born to die that we might live and oneday go to the place He has prepared and escape all of these temporal pains. In Christ we have fullness but we will be made complete not lacking anything ever. How I praise Him for that. How I praise Him that this is not it. This is not our home.

Isaiah 9:6 (New International Version)

6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, [a] Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

John 14:1-3
Jesus Comforts His Disciples
1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God[a]; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

So here are some pics of how I noticed I have gone a little crazy over time painting scripture for her room. I didn't realize it until I layed in her room and looked around. I love it though.

I found this child of joy from the willow tree collection and just loved it. It reminds me so much of Morgan.

I am so excited about church tomorrow and I sure do hope I wake up!!

Bookmark and Share


Laura said...

I read your blog every day and I am so encouraged of what you write. I so needed to hear those words on keep presing on! In a difficult season of my life and GOD is teaching me so much.
May the LORD richly bless you today.


Anonymous said...

You know I call you "Little Beth Moore" and you just keep proving it. Your words really touched my heart. I too have had a few challenging days but God never leaves or forsakes me. HE IS SO AWESOME!.
Love the work you are doing around your home.
Love in Christ,
Nancy in NC

Mary R Snyder said...

Oh Jenny -- your heart is so precious. Raising children really opens our eyes doesn't it? I know that it's so hard to raise girls -- and I'm still in the thick of it myself. As much as I just want to be my teenager's friend, I'm the Mom first. The one who sets the boundaries and allows her to flourish within those boundaries.

Just like the boundaries the Lord gives me. Sure, I have my free will, but I am also bound by my submission to Him. And oh how I desire to be bound to Him. But then my flesh wants to roam.... boundaries. Our girls need them and we need them.

Let's talk soon.

April said...

I love you sweet friend... Wish I could have been there with you... I just want to encourage you b/c I know you are planting everlasting seeds in Morgan's heart and mind... You are such a good Sheperd.

Cindy said...


You are so precious!

michellemabell said...

Oh those beautiful painted scriptures again...:)

Jenny, I cried reading this...that is how I felt in church yesterday. Just so overcome with the ever presence of God and the realization of where I would be without Him.
It is such a blessing to come and read your posts.