Monday, December 7, 2009

The "Perfect" Christmas Card

Y'all I love to send out Christmas cards. I usually have a picture of Morgan from some point in the year and some scripture. But.......I get a letter from someone each year that just about kills me with laughter. It is a "Christmas" letter where the family seriously tells us of all of their achievements during the year and highlights how wonderful, talented, and smart their prodigy children are. I am not jealous AT. ALL. I just think it is so funny. I often call my sister and read it to her and we laugh about how perfect this family thinks they are. LORD help 'em!!
So I typed out a pseudo version for my blog! Enjoy. If you think I am being so rude I am sorry!! wink wink!


"Dear friends,
We have just had THE MOST prosperous year. My family is the picture of health. My child is near perfect and at the age of 4 so scholarly. She already knows her multiplication tables. We are thinking of sending her to college at the age of 4! Can you believe it!? Not to mention how smart she is, she has been keeping her room so clean that you could eat off of the floor! My husband loves me so much! He brings me flowers and chocolate twice a week and I get an expensive piece of jewelry each month! He is doing so well at work. While he is working I spend my time at the gym, shopping, getting my nails done, facials, and going on exotic vacations. Oh I forgot to mention that Morgan and I have memorized the first five chapters of the bible!! We volunteer at the soup kitchen and sponsor 15 kids overseas. Well, it's been fun typing this letter but Rod has dinner ready and then he is going to rub my feet from all of my shopping at the mall. Whew I am tired! Merry Christmas by the way!" Love the Williams!!

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Laura said...

I so love your blog! So funny!

Love to you.

Anonymous said...

good gravy, I hate those bragging letters too...but they are proud and want to share. What can you do but get a chuckle out of them?

I think that you should post the original letter...sans names.

btw, your family is AWESOME..I mean, brag on!
mindy ( my husband made potroast tonight for dinner * sticks out tongue and runs*)

Cindy said...

Love your "letter". We receive at least one or two of these a year and they are funny!

fuzzytop said...

Those "Look at me and my perfect family" letters just kill me... Yours was so funny! Imagine a 4 year old with a clean room! Bwahhahahahahahahaha!

One year my sister wrote the funniest Christmas letter - the first half of the letter was the "perfect" version (which was filled with things like her husband being chosen to be a special advisor to the president, and her daughter getting hired as a new jewelry designer for Tiffany's) and the second half of the letter was the "real" version of their year. It was hysterical....


Svee said...

Jenny, I think this is hilarious. We too receive such letters and I see them as people bragging to make their lives look better than they probably are. We always joke about doing a letter about bad things, you know the dog is sick and the kids got bad grades, collectors are calling daily, etc. things people don't want you to know. I feel comfort in the fact that you feel the same way about these Christmas letters as we do.

God Bless, Sherry

Disco Christa said...

I am laughing out loud for real. That is so funny.

Sarah said...

I think that is hilarious, we get those letters to, how they like to brag. Love your "perfect" family letter.