Nice Award!!

Oh my...I forgot to let you guys know that I was the recipient of a Nice Award! It was like a night at the grammies for me!! Faith awarded me this! Yeah!! This is my very first blog award and I am going to pass this award on to four people who have been encouraging me for a while now. I would name all of you but I think I am to only pick three.

Shelly because she saved me a seat on the front row at Beth. She is really nice!!

Kim because she drove from Georgia to meet two of her friends and bring them to my bible study. She also bought me a praise cd. She is the real deal people!

Tam and her man Brent they are just plain encouraging!!

And Alissa she is just an encourager...she sent me the sweetest message about my firstborn!!! She is a real live friend that I go to church with!!

Share the Love people!!

my verse of the day

Numbers 23:19
19 God is not a man, that he should lie,
nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?

No He didn't

I was listening to one of Morgans shows on the sprout channel and the guy said TTFN!! He must have grown up in the 80's or he would not have known that. I was like no He did not just pull that out! If you don't know what it means then please try to guess. Morgan is sitting here unashamedly blasting her toots on the couch. That is TMI I know. She did not get that from her mommy.

Great is His Faithfulness

I just learned some of the coolest stuff this morning that I will have to share when I get time. I am so tired.

Turning Point Devo

Eternal Flame

Great is Your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:23

Recommended Reading Psalm 92:1-2

An eternal flame has been used to memorialize the loss of people of great significance, such as John F. Kennedy or the soldiers killed in the American Civil War. The secret to its prolonged existence is an underground gas line that produces a continuous spark to re-ignite the flame should it go out momentarily.

God's love for us is like an eternal flame. The major difference, however, is that His love never goes out, even for a millisecond. The rainstorms of our disobedience and the sudden gusts of our fickleness cannot weaken the fire of His faithfulness to us. He proved that by sending His only Son to die for an undeserving world, a world full of people that He loves completely and perfectly.

Let us give thanks to the Lord for His undying love and commitment to us. We are cherished by the Creator of the universe and deeply cared for by the Lord of Lords. And all of this is true despite how inconsistent our love is for Him. What a comforting thought!

As the psalmist said of God, "Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds" and "endures to all generations" (Psalms 36:5; 119:90). And though our minds cannot comprehend such devotion, our hearts can receive His love, and we can praise Him for His faithfulness.

Christ's shed blood proves God's pledge of total commitment to me.
Grantley Morris

ps I sure hope no one feels any condemnation from my last post. I have a situation that is real close to me that caused me to fire that last post off.
Also, I was studying Morgan today and noticed her fake cries when she wants something. It is so funny because no one taught it to her...it is just in our nature. LOL!

On another note...I am looking to buy a present for my six year old niece. Morgan and I looked and looked and I just don't know what to buy a six year old little girl. Any ideas??? Do they care about clothes? Do they want money? I just don't have a clue!

Fake it until you make it? REALLY?

**Warning-It's my blog and I'll write what I want to.

Psalm 51:6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; {6 The meaning of the Hebrew for this phrase is uncertain.} you teach {6 Or you desired...; you taught} me wisdom in the inmost place.

Why in the world are we (especially as Christians) so worried about our image or how we appear to others (I am not talking about our witness. I am speaking of image building...wanting others to think something of us that is not true)? I get so tired of the fake it until you make it approach to life. I am not saying that we are to open up and tell total strangers our deepest struggles and every past sin so let me make myself clear. I just think as Christians we would all be a little more free if we dropped our defenses and our pride and made our struggles a little more known to those around us. We could also use a dose of praising God for where He has brought us from so others that are weary can hear that they can make it out of the hole that maybe they dug for themselves. I hear all of these phrases when people are describing "themselves" like I am a wife, and mother...my kids are near perfect...my husband is the next best thing to Jesus he is so dreamy...I keep my house perfectly clean...I iron all the clothes...and I have a hot meal on the table at 5pm. If that describes you...I am so happy for you but that is just not my life. There are times when I wonder...man is this life going to get better? Am I ever going to have victory in this area? Will my marriage ever get better? Am I a good mother? Is my heart pure before God? Will I ever get over this unforgiveness or this envy? Is anyone struggling financially? Will I ever feel God's forgiveness over this past sin? There is a person in my life that cares all about form and nothing about function to the point that it makes me want to puke my guts out to put it lightly. Hey ask me about my favorite team or sport and I will tell you anything you need to know...but let's not get past the surface...why that would mean work. It would mean being real which is something I am just not willing to do. I think that is the attitude of a large percent of Americans...just keep the topic to manicures and pedicure only please...all the while I am dying on the inside. It reminds me of when Jesus spoke to the Pharisee's in Matthew 23:27 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean.
28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."

I think that this is the goal that many of us are striving for to appear that we have it together when in fact we are full of sin, struggling, and maybe even wigging out in a stronghold. We want others to think that we are rolling with the big dogs, that our wallets are fat, our marriages are perfect, and all the while we are white washed tombs on the outside, our foundations that we have been building on are nothing but sinking sand and inside there is no life in us just dry bones. Don't you think a lot of it has to do with us not focusing on Christ because if we truly did we would see that we are all made of clay? That we all fall short? That we all need help...real help from a real Savior? The whole comparison thing reminds me of this verse: 2 Corinthians 10:12 "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise."

All I am saying is that we all have room to grow, room for improvement. None of us have arrived and where God has delivered us let's please try to pass it on to those who are desperate to know that they can be delivered to. When we begin to delve into just how much we have been forgiven we are going to want others to be reached with the same forgiveness and mercy that has been given to us.

More importantly we need to be honest first with God. He knows even why we feel the way we do...why we are struggling like we are. He created us. He is our maker. I have been giving a lot of thought to prayer and one thing I keep thinking of is how prayer is really honesty, authenticity before God. Showing God our true colors and not hiding behind a mask. Don't you think if we do that and His forgiveness washes over you and me that we will be more free to be able to reach others. Don't you ever feel like looking at someone and telling them to Get Real?!? So here me say it as I say it to myself: GET REAL!

I love this verse in Lamentations 2:19 Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children, who faint from hunger at the head of every street. I don't want to take this verse out of context but I will say that we would all be wise to apply it. Part of the reason why we don't get past our junk is because we aren't being honest before a Holy God who made the way for us to come boldly to His throne to find grace and help in time of need. You don't have to agree with me and you can just stay to yourself but I love that Jesus told Peter this verse after Satan had asked permission to sift him like wheat: Luke 22
32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
Jesus knew Peter's heart and He knew that He would turn back...and He told him "when you have turned back" not "if" but "when" strengthen your brothers. I guess if you have not ever blown it in a BIG way (which all sin causes us to miss the mark if you want to get picky) then you can't understand being forgiven in a BIG way. When you start to get the fact that God forgave you for denying Him, by your actions or witness, you will want to turn to others and strengthen them to stay true and strengthen them with the mercy that you have received.

The Way' from Kevin Pauley
Aug 20, 2007

The Worship of Another

Then I saw another beast coming up out of the earth; he had two horns like a lamb, but he sounded like a dragon. He exercises all the authority of the first beast on his behalf and compels the earth and those who live on it to worship the first beast, whose fatal wound was healed. He also performs great signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to earth before people. - Revelation 13:11-13 HCSB

One of the most frightening trends I see in Christianity today is the tendency to emphasize the emotional and experiential aspects of religious awe. I find this terrifying because I believe it is one of the needed steps toward the worship of another – notably the Antichrist.

Wicked people, under evil spiritual influences, try to get humans to accept their teachings by appearing to adhere to the same beliefs their targetsdo. In the case of the False Prophet, he will look like a lamb but sound like a dragon. As our Master stated, “Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravaging wolves.”[1] This is why we must not believe every spirit, but test them to determine if they are from God.[2] It’s not that I’m advocating a paranoid or suspicious attitude. We should eagerly welcome teaching on worship and prayer but examine the Scriptures daily to see if the things we are being taught are actually so.[3]

One of the teachings we hear a lot today is that since God is all around and in us, we should seek to “feel” His presence within as we pray. We are told that we should think of God, or visualize God either in us or in the room with us. We are urged to use our imagination in this manner so that we can more fully realize His presence. This will seem particularly comforting to some believers, especially when they are in a crisis but since when are our emotions the most reliable guide – especially in times of grief?

Here’s the problem. If you can localize God “within you” and worship Him, if you can localize God “within the room” and worship Him, what’s to stop you from localizing Him “within another” and worshipping Him? What’s to stop you from localizing Him in a certain building or tree for that matter?

The emotional appeal of this technique will be particularly difficult to resist as one watches another heal from a fatal wound only to perform great signs and cause fire to come down from heaven. In that moment, when we are asked by a False Prophet to worship a conquering hero, we must cling to the Scriptural teaching: will God indeed live on earth? Even heaven, the highest heaven, cannot contain Him, much less any temple we may fashion.[4]

[1] Matthew 7:15

[2] 1 John 4:1-2

[3] Acts 17:11

[4] 1 Kings 8:27; 2 Chronicles 2:6; Acts 7:48-49

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Copyright:
'The Way' Copyright 2007 © Kevin Pauley. 'The Way' articles may be reproduced in whole under the following provisions: 1) A proper credit must be given to the author at the end of each story, along with their complete bio and a link to http://www.liveasif.org/ 2) 'The Way' content may not be arranged or "mirrored" as a competitive online service.

Good stuff

Isaiah 49:15-16
15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.

Isaiah 54:5-6
5 For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
6 The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit-- a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God.

3 years ago today!

I just wanted to give a shout out and thank everyone for your sweet comments and prayers. I am kind of melancholy today just from lack of rest. Morgan has not been feeling well and she has been running a fever. Anyway, I am so thankful for the encouragement that you guys have brought me in remembering the life of my sweet little girl, Shelby Hope. I went to her grave yesterday on my way home from church and I prayed for all of the families (around her grave) that have lost their infants. I saw one that went to be with Jesus after 3 months of life here on earth. I can not even imagine the devastation that this brought on that family. I have stood by Shelby's grave for a funeral of another baby who was stillborn at full term. It just breaks my heart. I am okay though because of Christ in me and the hope that I have to meet with her in heaven again soon. The Lord has been so faithful to me. I don't want to even know where I would be apart from Him. One thing I was reminded of yesterday is just how faithful the Lord is. Yesterday Rod and I got in to an argument because he did not remember what today was. It just didn't affect him in the same way...but it did hit him hard three years ago. I guess it affected me because I have a mother's heart and he deals with things completely differently...and that is ok. I love my sweet Morgan fiercely! I tell her that no one loves her more than Jesus and her momma and I think that while Rod loves her...I love her more. Anyway, the Lord reminded me in my Spirit that He is there waiting to meet the deepest longings of my soul...even if my own husband doesn't remember something that important to me. He remembers what all I have gone through and He understands my hurts. I have had a spirit of gratitude for God's plan knowing that it has shaped me and that the Lord knew the plans He had for my life before the foundations. He is so infinitely wise and holy. My prayer this morning is that I would be rooted and grounded in His marvelous love for me. So many trips off the path have been because of my unbelief in His love for me. I don't even want to go there in my times of grief. One thing I want to say that has gotten me through so much in my life is staying in the word and praying for more of the Holy Spirit, and just plain crying out to God. If I had thrown my hands up and gotten out of the word and believed the lie that God is not good (because of this and MANY MANY other things) there is no telling what kind of bitterness I would have let take root. By God's grace I have developed such a holy habit for His word that in my moments of crisis, as well as dailiness, I have groveled in the word to get through the valleys that life has brought. So if you are in one now...please run to the Father. Some of my own valleys I have put myself in by my own sin...if you are in one of those...run to the Father. He is ready to show His love and mercy to you...just come.

ps i am so thankful for each of you and how you have encouraged me over Shelby. I love you all so much...you have no idea what it means to me.

The Funny Farm

When I was six years old we moved from Vestavia Hills to Clay/Trussville, Alabama. The two towns were about 30 minutes apart but seemed worlds away. My mom got remarried and this is what forced the move. I was pretty traumatized when I had to go to first grade twice. My mom wanted to hold Heather, Holly, and I back so we wouldn't all be in the same grade. I won't go into that one. Anyway, we moved from the city to the COUNTRY. Back then there was a McDonalds that was just built and later a Piggly Wiggly. We lived in a small 3 bedroom house with 20 acres of land. I loved to go outside and explore and play but was a prisoner in my own yard for years. I would go "outback" and think a lot. What does a young child have to "think" about? Well, believe it or not it was a lot! Anyway, my sister Heather got this genius idea to hatch a chicken from an egg. So she incubated it and we waited. Then Sugar hatched and the demon-possessed rooster came along. I hated HATED H A T E D that rooster with a passion. It chased me around the yard and spurred me in the back for years. I MEAN YEARS! When I wanted to go outside I would look around and see where that evil creature was a get my badminton racket and my garbage can lid so I could go outside and ward him off. My dad loved that rooster and would feed it red hots. The rooster ATE RED HOTS. Sugar had my number. Holly (my twin) and I shared a room until Stephanie and Will came along and I made Holly sleep by the window in case a burglar came (I figured they would most assuredly come in the window and have to take her instead of me...what sisterly love) and that stupid rooster would sit by our window and crow its stinking head off at the crack of dawn. My aunt lived next door to us and after years and years of torment that rooster got stuck under her car and she drove all the way down to the Piggly Wiggly and back with it under the car and the thing still didn't die. Finally our golden retriever Brandon got sick of Sugar and took care of him if you know what I mean. It was one of the best days of my life (I am sorry to all of you animal rights people). My aunt even made me a celebratory cake (I AM NOT KIDDING). I forgot to mention that I had to follow suit and incubate my own pet hen. I didn't like her either. Then my sister had a cat named Duchess...sneaky little thing she was. She hated me. The thing would bite me and I was so scared...I mean terrified...of her that I would LOCK myself in my room if I was home alone with her. I did not want that cat opening the door and coming in my room to torment me...as if. The thing used to bite me...I mean come on. Then the dogs...let's talk about the dogs. We had 3 golden retrievers that lived inside our 3 bedroom house. They were all terrified of storms but the one girl dog (her name was Sugar also) she would about mow me down to get in the house when it was raining. She even scratched the paint off of two of my cars. What is it with the pets that are named Sugar? The animals were all flea infested. So much so that I did not invite friends to the house because I did not want them to be blessed by all of the fleas. I am so serious! My parents didn't get with the flea medicine program until after I moved out. I guess the fleas only bothered me. Then, I tried a bird. I was sure that I would make friends with a small innocent bird. Until that thing would get loose and poop all over the house. That bird had to go. Then we had a Jack Russell terrier that I had to chase down a busy road sometimes in the early morning traffic because it was my granddaddy's dog and we just couldn't lose him. On to the pet rabbits (is this boring you yet?)...I had a pet rabbit and I was very original in naming him...his name was thumper. Thumper froze to death. Yep...went down to pet little thumper and thumper was frozen. Then there was Benji...he had the mange. And let's not forget Sambo he decided to start killing all the other animals so my dad had to "put him down" in the policeman fashion. We had a whole pet cemetery on the backside of our house.
So, for those of you that know me well...I will not even pretend to like Pets and this is why!!

pictures

Below is my sweet little thang at 12:45am (in the middle of the night). This is how a lot of my nights are. Anyway, excuse the do she had her pigtails going earlier in the day. She is a climber. She thinks that if she can put on a smile that it will all be ok. Which is usually correct!



She makes me laugh so much. Especially when she should be getting in trouble. I love this little girl! I thank the Lord for her everyday! When things get tough (which seems a pretty constant thing) it sure is nice having her to live this life!

Here it is!! The .97 cent dress from Old Navy!

Turning Point Devotional
Dr. David Jeremiah

Speedometer: Living Within the Limits


All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.1 Corinthians 10:23

Recommended ReadingExodus 20:1-17

About three-fourths of the German autobahn road system has no blanket speed limit; and in those areas, the average speed is about 93 mph. While most European car manufacturers operate under a "gentleman's agreement" to limit the top speeds of their cars to 155 mph, autobahn speeds of up to 186 mph are not unheard of.
Even if you could legally drive that fast, would you really want to? Just because things are possible doesn't always mean they are advisable. There are plenty of lifestyle choices we are free to make that are permissible, but not healthy or safe. The apostle Paul made that point when writing about spiritual freedom—and when it's best to practice self-restraint for our own good and the good of others. God places strict limits on some areas of life (see the Ten Commandments) and "wisdom" limits on other areas. The mature Christian is the one who chooses those things that are permissible and wise at the same time.
The next time you have a decision to make, ask yourself who all will be impacted, and how. Let wisdom and restraint be your guides.
Nature gives man corn, but he must grind it; God gives man a will, but he must make the right choices. Fulton J. Sheen

CeCe Winans

A new cd by CeCe is coming out August 28th. I can't wait!

Blue Light Special

I try to tell my mom that going to the mall and etc is cheaper than walmart but I don't think she believes me. Anyway, here is a dress that I got tonight for .97 cents (I got it from Old Navy). The dress is really cute on... surprisingly!! If you want to get a deal you need to shop with me!! I don't try on so if you like to try stuff on I can't go shopping with you!!


Here are Morgan's new kicks! She hearts all things shoes. They are from Old Navy for $14.99.

Today is Thursday!

You know what today is! Testify Thursday! Share a verse or an answer to prayer or just a praise!
Here is mine:

I was reading Psalm 107 this morning and the Lord pointed out several things to me.

1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

The word for give thanks in the Hebrew is Yadah meaning "to speak out, confess; to praise; to sing; to give thanks. Involves the acknowledgment of sin, man's character, and the nature and work of God. David admitted his sinfulness to God (Ps 32:5). National confession was made on the Day of Atonement...Also used in the sense of expressing thanks and praise to God...The name Judah comes from this root (Ge 29:35). The synonym halal, to praise, emphasizes pride in an object."
There is just something about speaking out His praise, out loud, that can remove a heavy burden. Also, this word, Yadah, encompasses us acknowledging our sin and not covering it up. We do the same thing Adam and Eve did in the garden...we try to hide and cover up our shame. Instead the Lord wants us to acknowledge our sin to Him and turn to Him. We can become really weighed down simply by refusing to come and fess up. He already knows and He stands waiting for us to come so He can free us. He will not force our hand at it...but life will become bitter until we cry out to Him.

I seriously want to give Him some praise for the fact that no matter what I have done, how far I have gone in sin, no matter who has not loved me...He loves me. He loves me and you with an unfailing love. I can remember fearing the loss of love from certain people and when I lost that love it was awful and painful but you know what?? I made it. I am okay because I landed on the Rock of His love (Romans 8:37-39).

The following verses have been so true of my own life and when I have cried out to Him He has been faithful to come and rescue me and remove my chains every time. So many of my trips to pits of sin have been a result of me searching for unfailing love in places or people other than the Lord. It always led to my prison cell yet when I cried out He came and removed the yoke from my neck.

Psalm 107:9-20
9 for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.

10 Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,

11 for they had rebelled against the words of God
and despised the counsel of the Most High.

12 So he subjected them to bitter labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.

13 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

14 He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.

15 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,

16 for he breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron.

17 Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.

18 They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.

19 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.

20 He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.

Fellowship of the Unashamed

Our pastor read this in his sermon on Sunday and I remembered how much it ministered to me when I first starting getting in the word. I wanted this to be the cry of my heart. So good! Oh and I am back working at the Galleria at J. Jill. I have worked at that mall for ten years and just can't seem to get away from it! I helped open that store and I am going back! :)

~ Author Unknown ~

I'm a part of the fellowship of the unashamed.
I have Holy Spirit Power.
The die has been cast.
I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.
I am a disciple of His.

I won't:
Look back,
Let up,
Slow down,
Back away or be still.

My past is redeemed.
My present makes sense and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with:
Low living,
Sight walking,
Small planning,
Smooth needs,
Colorless dreams,
Tamed visions,
Mundane talking,
Cheap giving and
Dwarfed goals.

I no longer need:
Pre-eminence,
Prosperity,
Position,
Promotions,
Plaudits or
Popularity.

I don't have to:
Be right,
First,
Tops,
Recognized,
Praised,
Regarded or
Rewarded.

I now:
Live by faith,
Lean on his presence,
Walk by patience,
Live by Prayer, and
Labor by power.

My pace is set,
My gait is fast,
My goal is Heaven,
My road is narrow,
My way is rough,
My companions few,
My guide reliable, and
My mission clear.

I cannot be:
Bought,
Compromised,
Detoured,
Lured away,
Turned back,
Deluded or
Delayed.

I will not:
Flinch in the face of sacrifice,
Hesitate in the presence of the adversary,
Negotiate at the table of the enemy,
Ponder at the pool of popularity, or
Meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't:
Give up,
Shut up,
Let up,
Until I've stayed up,
Stored up,
Paid up,
Preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus.

I must go:
'Til he comes,
Give 'til I drop,
Preach 'til all know, and
Work 'til He will have no problem recognizing me.

Taking a Break to Blog

"You are now ready to get started on the most challenging and difficult part of the course."

I was finishing up a segment of my online courses and moving on to the next and I read the line above. Way to pump me up considering I have thought the whole course has been really hard and challenging! Starting in the seventh grade I began running cross country and track year round. We had some MAJOR hills in the town of Trussville. We would run what was called the "Cherokee" named after a street and it was uphill ALL THE WAY. One of our practices in running was to encourage each other as we ran. I can remember people meaning well (with their encouragement) while my calves were burning, my side was aching, and I was out of breath running up that hill. They would yell "it's all uphill, only 1/2 a mile more." Yes half a mile more of p-a-i-n thanks for reminding me. That kind of encouragement would always make me focus on how much of the hill I had left to get up and in my mind all I could do was think about how bad I was hurting. One thing I practiced doing (I still do this) was to look at the area right in front of my feet and not up at the giant hill that I had to climb and I would zoom right up it and catch my breath at the top. This is sort of my approach now and also in life in general. If I get ahead I will completely freak myself out, get overwhelmed, and quit. A couple of verses come to my mind regarding this:

Psalm 119:105
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light for my path.

Matthew 6:33-34
33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

As far as His word being a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path we are all on a path here in this life. Some of us a path of darkness and others one that is lit by the light of His word. Thinking back in the day where they had to use actual lamps at night (or torches)...think about how much you could see in the darkness with that lamp. Probably only several steps. Matthew 6:33-34 tell us to seek Him first and that we should not worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble of its own. In other words don't get so far ahead and worry yourself to death. Jesus is already there in your tomorrow. All of this leads me to the place where I am tonight. Not just with my online courses but with some MAJOR challenges in general....some major mountains to climb. I have been very open when I teach about my life and testimony this far. I grew up and had a lot placed on me at a very young age. I dealt with abuse for years and my real dad was never a part of my life. There was a time when I was in my teenage years that I really wanted to die and I contemplated suicide. I really thought at other times that I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I was too much of a chicken to end my life and all the while the Lord placed hope in me (that is even my middle name). Running was such an outlet for me that is for sure. I had a lot of anger and a lot of insecurities. I most always felt shame and I never felt a sense of belonging. I kept thinking that one day things would change and that I would leave that life and trade it in for a new one (oh and the day will come when I will leave this earth and shout out like Job that I know that my redeemer lives and at the end He will stand upon this earth and that when my flesh is destroyed I shall see God! I myself and not another oh how my heart yearns within me). I can tell you that if I did not know Jesus I do not know where I would be. I would have probably ended it a long time ago. As I was walking with Morgan tonight I said Lord I thought things were going to be different. Life just hurts and it is hard it's not turning out like I thought. He reminded me all today that He knows the plans He has for me...plans for hope and a future...even though I have been through a lot of stuff. It is so easy for me to be like yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone and their Jeremiah 29:11 quotes. But the Lord gave that to me 3 times today so I know He wanted me to take it to the spiritual bank. It is a daily struggle for me right now to walk by faith and not sight or better yet "feelings". I think something in all of us asks the same question: Lord is this it? Is this life?
I think the reason that we ask that is because there is so much sin in this world and we long to have true fellowship where it is broken. We long to be loved fully when we have been rejected by others. We long for true intimacy when this world offers so many counterfeits. Still we keep searching and we keep trying to fill that need in us. Take the national average of debt in the US. We are literally burying ourselves trying to be happy or complete. I can tell you that I am so thankful for all that I have been through because if I had not been let down over and over and over I would not know what Christ's unfailing love is. We long to be made perfect and that day will come when Jesus comes and makes all wrongs right. When He destroys the final enemy which is death and gives the enemy his rightful place in the lake of burning sulfur where he is doomed forever (that felt really good to type). Until then there will be difficulty and crisis war and famine. But we can still have peace. I was at the store tonight and I had been in the middle of a constant conflict with someone. I was so full of anxiety and all of the sudden unexplainable peace washed all over me. I may have some screaming fits at times and feel hurt and discouraged but when I continually lift my head to Jesus deep down I am okay. I know that I can endure and that through Christ I can do all things. That does not mean that I don't experience the pain of life. It just means that I have perspective to my pain and that it is not wasted.


2 Corinthians 4:16-18

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Please read this. Not very shocking!

God Calling Devotional-August 15th

In need of some prayer... I have to finish my online courses ASAP. I am also trying to get a part time and maybe a full time job in the meantime. Please say a prayer for me that God will strengthen me, give me energy, and that I will walk in His ways. This devotional was almost as if God was speaking straight to me this morning.

August 15 - Not Punishment

I will guide your efforts. You are not being punished for past sins. Take My Words, revealed to you each day from the beginning, and do in all things as I say. I have been showing you the way. You have not obeyed Me in this.

I have a plan that can only in this way be revealed. So rarely do I find two souls in union who want only My Will, and only to serve Me. The union is miracle-working.

I have told you that I am longing to use you. Long ago My world would have been brought to Me, had I been served by many such two souls.

It was always "two and two."

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he
removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

Respect

Here is something that I thought of tonight while I was doing the laundry:
A person who deserves your respect does not have to demand that you respect them.

I am not going to even go into the reasons that made me think about this but I believe this to be true. We should pay people with respect whether they deserve it or not...but I am just talking about the kind of person that walks around demanding that you respect them! You know someone like this "I am so and so hear me roar and you better show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T." Just a random thought.

Philippians 2

I Surrender "Some"

Deuteronomy 1:31-33
31 and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."
32 In spite of this, you did not trust in the LORD your God, 33 who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go.


How many times do we go to church and sing songs like "I Surrender All" and we can't truly sing it with our whole heart because we know that it is not true of us? Still we go through the motions. If we were honest wouldn't it read for most of us "I Surrender Some"? If we really live a life of submission and surrender to Christ what will be the mark of it in your life and mine? One word comes to mind: VICTORY. In surrendering all we lose ourselves in the cross and we gain everything. Yet our natural inclination is to hold on to what is ours with a tight grip. Let me give you an example. Tonight Rod and I got into a fight...boo. Instead of me entrusting him and his attitude to the Lord I lashed out and began to take my shots with my own words. Then guess what? I am sinning all over the place with what I say. The Lord wants me to be filled and have self-control and instead I throw the baby out with the bath water....because I feel like in saying something back that I am justified and that I can take care of how I am wronged or misunderstood instead of letting the Lord deal with what concerns me. It is pride all the way. I decide by lashing out that I am going to take matters in my own hands and settle the score. What about the song that has the lyrics "In all I do I honor You"? Can we really say that? In all we do we honor Him? Then why are we walking around half the time in defeat? Lord, help us to honor You. Help us to surrender all. Help us not to give in to the constant temptations to take matters into our own hands. I barely go a day without trying to be the boss of my own life. LORD help us!! Father may it not be said of us that we saw all that you did for us yet we did not put our trust in You. Help me, help us, to believe You. You are so worthy Lord. Please forgive us for our pride.

2 Samuel 7:28
28 O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.

Psalm 4:4-6
4 In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah
5 Offer right sacrifices and trust in the LORD.
6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD

So Funny

My sister and I caught in a Tornado. Tornadoes are not funny but I thought this pic was. There's no place like home.

Another Blogging Siesta

Okay Shelly's picture turned out better of Emmy, me, and Shelly. Emmy is a fellow blogger that we met at the conference! Also, I look fat here because I was taking a steroid pack for my foot...just an FYI incase you were wondering. LOL!! *** I am kidding about my comment...just a little swollen from the meds.

Vanity

Proverbs 31:30
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Last night Morgan and I were at Walmart (if you can believe that) and as we were waiting in the check out line I glanced over to one of the headlines on a somewhat legitimate magazine. I NEVER even pick those things up to read since it is mostly garbage but this time I had to. I thumbed through the magazine to read the interview of one of the most glorified stars. I once heard someone say that this woman was the most beautiful woman on the planet. I was truly shocked when I read this interview with her. I could not even believe that someone could be so proud of the darkness that they were in. It really hit me that while people may think this woman is some sort of se* symbol she is lost. All of her good deeds are as nothing if she spends an eternity in hell. All of her beauty is so fleeting and it will be of no profit to her. I felt sorry for her and thought how I needed to pray for her lost soul, knowing that I could be right where she is apart from the grace on my life. To take it a step further why on earth would we want to so desperately live vicariously through these peoples lives in trying to mimic their looks, styles and etc? It is high time that you and I get our focus on things above and not down here on the ground. We will spend a lifetime wasted chasing vanity if we don't look up. We are called to be different...the light of this world. We are not called here to let the world infiltrate us. So how are you doing? I know first hand what it is like to try to find my worth or beauty from this world and people in this world. It truly left an insatiable craving in me that could not be satisfied until I had a beast on my hands. I would search for anyone to fill that void in me and my whole life was aimed at trying to get someone to fill that need in me. It is a vicious cycle and not to mention it is expensive to keep it up. We can't keep it up and we will NEVER be satisfied if we are living to please our flesh. It is destructive when we don't look to the Lord to define our beauty. If we keep comparing ourselves among ourselves and with this world system we will become fools. I know this to be true. It is not wrong for us to want to look our best but all of our clothes, shoes, purses, hairdos...none of it matters in the end. The Lord won't be concerned about all of our "good deals" we got at the mall or the fact that we had the latest hair style. It is meaningless. Please hear me when I say this: Who or what is defining your worth. No one should define who you are but the Lord. He calls you beautiful, loved, chosen, forgiven. When you believe the lies of the enemy, and this world system, you will loose part of yourself in attempt to find yourself. Your closest friend doesn't define you, your husband doesn't define you, this world doesn't define you...your past DOES NOT say who you are. It it the Lord. He created your innermost being and He means for you to find your worth in Him alone. If not you will give into all manner of sin out of pure insecurity. Go to Him...run to Him...spend yourself on behalf of Him. That is only where you will find true security. Take it from someone who knows...

Psalm 45:11
11 The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

ReCaP!

I am going to share my notes from the weekend but let me start out with a quote that I read by Phillip Yancey's latest book Prayer. I have been a little slow in getting to read this one but I always love his work.

"Prayer, and only prayer, restores my vision to one that more resembles God's. I wake from blindness to see that wealth lurks as a terrible danger, not a goal worth striving for; that value depends not on race or status but on the image of God every person bears; that no amount of effort to improve physical beauty has much relevance for the world beyond."

Here goes! The passage that she spoke on was 2 Corinthians 1:1-11.

Before the conference the Lord led me to several passages of scripture regarding putting no confidence in the flesh. I think it is fair to say that we try desperately to flesh out obedience, forgiveness, peace, and the hard stuff without really relying on the Holy Spirits help. We are told that upon conversion we receive the Holy Spirit and we are sealed unto the day of our redemption. So as believers in Christ we have the Holy Spirit but are you and I quenching the power of the Holy Spirit? Are we trying to do this walk without relying on Christ in us? We simply aren't able to love, forgive, die to ourselves, or really live apart from His help. I spent some time outside tonight just gazing up at the stars and thinking about the Awesomeness of God. How He is infinitely wise and holy and how vast He is. I can not even begin to comprehend. Anyway, I have been struggling with some things lately that I know I am not capable of dealing with on my own apart from His help. I am asking Him to help me and give me more of the Spirit and that I would not "do as I please" and live to gratify my flesh. I really believe that so much of the stifling of the Holy Spirit is a refusal to submit and we make the decision that we are going to "do as we please". That phrase really speaks to me because Isaiah 58:13 speaks of doing as we please. I can not even begin to count the times that I make decisions based on what pleases me. Anyway, that begins where God was leading me before the conference and then I pick up on her topic "The God of all Comfort".

Here are my notes just so you will know and I wont have to interject with "she said this" and etc.
The word comfort appears 9 times in this passage of scripture (count it for yourself).

"God cannot have compassion without being moved. Compassion is the emotion, comfort is the response."
What is comfort?
What is it not?
How can we be vessels of comfort?

God reveals Himself to Moses in Exodus 34:5-7 as compassionate and gracious.
5 Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the LORD. 6 And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, 7 maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation."

The New Testament is replete with Jesus being moved to compassion and healing people. His compassion has a response.
Our culture is training us to be compelled in life by our comforts. I had a very tangible example of this at the conference. I was like Lord, why do I have to have an example even while she is speaking. The chairs in most arenas are hooked together. As I was sitting on the front row and Shelly and I were praising the Lord I thought yeah maybe no one is sitting in the seats next to me and I can have room to move around in our praise time. Wrong! A woman and her daughter came in while Beth was speaking. The lady was a large woman (I am not saying anything about her being large...just stating the fact) and she sat down and took up half of my seat. I was struggling at that moment with my rights to my own chair. I could not believe that for the next several hours I was going to have to sit on one side of my chair...not comfortable. Shelly very kindly let me share half of her chair. Don't you love the Lord for working on us in the middle of giving us a word? He wants me to apply it QUICK! Anyway, I forgot to mention that her and her daughter talked the whole conf (LOUDLY). I was like woman don't make Beth get on to you. We are on the front row!

Several things that come to mind:
We want comfortable homes
Comfortable cars
We want comfort food
We want to comfort ourselves when we have problems...maybe by shopping or something
We don't want to get our hands dirty...we want comfort.
Our way...Now!

She said that in our relationships we want comfort. When it gets uncomfortable...we want to bolt! She said that America is suffering from Agliophobia-paranoia of pain or fear of pain. She is so right. As I listened to her I thought about how many of us really want to dive into the book of Job. If we offered a study on Job at our churches I wonder how many people would truly sign up. Probably not many because we are afraid that if we read it that it just may have to happen to us so we just will sit back and read all of the feel good passages. We are scared of suffering and we are afraid that God will hurt us.

One point she wanted to elaborate on was this:
Will we go through suffering and allow God to comfort us or will we make comfort our God?

Will we drop the cult of comfort and really start living?

1. We will live in a rut of relational disasters...paths strone by one messed up relationship after another after another if we refuse to seek comfort in Christ and seek to find comfort elsewhere.

Being comforted by God will involve us getting hurt and just living life to receive His comfort. She pointed out Gen 5:28-29 28 When Lamech had lived 182 years, he had a son. 29 He named him Noah and said, "He will comfort us in the labor and painful toil of our hands caused by the ground the LORD has cursed." Noah sounds like the Hebrew for comfort. How strange it was that his name meant comfort yet he was to build an ark and the earth would be wiped out because of wickedness yet God used him to build the ark and he did not completely destroy the earth. Noah would be sent to bring comfort from our labor and painful toil. Because of the fall we have uncomfortable relationships. Case in point...Adam and Eve's eyes were opened and they felt shame...so they hid from God and their fellowship with God was broken. It was not what it was or what it should have been. I personally love how God works to clothe them immediately which to me points to Christ even then. He covered their nakedness and clothed their shame and He comes to do the same for you and me by the shed blood of Christ. Work became toil and it was meant for enjoyment, se*uality became uncomfortable, their surrounding was uncomfortable. All because of the fall.
Seeking comfort in flesh and blood will always fail us. If a human gets put in the place of God our soul will be tempted to find comfort in someone else. Then our need to find comfort or affirmation keeps amassing itself until our need for filling, comfort, validation becomes titanic. No one else can fill that need in us but Christ. I have been in this place so many times where I so desperately sought the world over to find comfort, and approval that it almost killed me literally. We get hooked on people, substances, media, just about anything to try to fill the void in us. I have found myself in great need lately for the Lord to come and fill me. I have been crying out to Him for His help. That He would be more than my senses, more than how I feel, that He would be enough and that with every single let down that I would see that as an open invitation to come to Him. To fellowship in His suffering and allow Him to deal with the needs in me that only He can properly deal with.
-Unhealthy attract unhealthy and as long as we seek comfort in a person other that Christ we will have a power-play until we self destruct. We have got to seek God and seek our worth in Christ alone.
How many of us have experienced first hand the train wrecks that occur relationally by seeking to put others in the place of God?
Look at the extra-marital affairs that happen in seeking comfort. The substance abuse addictions that occur from trying to get comfort and all manner of addictions that result.

2. We will sign up for a lifetime of addiction if we do not drop out of the cult of comfort.
Ask yourself: Am I a comfort addict? The whole basic addiction thing begins with comfort. We try to medicate and then we have to continually up it. We have to keep feeding and sustaining our addictions. Can I get a witness?

3. We will miss the full measure of our callings if we forfeit true living for comfort.

Then the acronym E-A-S-T-E-R
E-every
A-alternative
S-savior
T-takes
E-early
R-retirement

This is so true. No one will be unfailing to us but the Lord. No one. The full measure of our call in Christ is to make Him known. To make Him obvious. Not to just blend in with the world and what it has to offer which will leave us cheated ALWAYS. We are called to live out of our comfort zones and make Him obvious. This does not mean that we deny ourselves in every way either.

4. We will miss the Presence of God if we seek to meet all of our needs ourselves. I was reading the other day in Phillip Yancey's book that the majority of people in the US can not truly prayer in earnest "Give us this day our daily bread" because our pantry's are stocked to the brim. That really spoke to me and gave me the best word picture of us trying to supply our own needs instead of waiting on God and truly knowing what it means to fellowship in His sufferings.

The actual definition in the Greek for the word comfort is the word Parakaleo and it means to call to ones side. I looked up this word when it is used as a verb and not a noun and it means this:
exhort, urge, beseech, intreat - comfort.

When used as a noun it involves exhortation.

-"If we constantly supply ourself with comfort we will miss the grace of God."

How would we know like Paul if we seek it out on our own what it means in 2 Timothy 4:16-17 when he was deserted by everyone but the Lord stood by his side? We can't know that if we are busy trying to help God out in this area. I can tell you from all that is within me that I know what it is like to be forsaken, betrayed, lonely, suffering and experience the comfort of Christ.
When my first born daughter was born and died I went through a period of grieving that I truly felt alone and it was in that time that the Lord met me. Rod had seemed to have moved on a couple of weeks later and I was still crying and in despair. I did not rely on Rod, I relied on the Lord and I saw firsthand what it means to receive the comfort of Christ. At first I was like Rod why aren't you helping me through this and by staying in the word daily I knew that only Christ could meet the depth of my need. If I had not been in the word daily there is no telling where I would have been in my heart. I can pour out a HUGE bag of cards and etc from my brothers and sisters in Christ that came alongside to encourage me and God used that...but I can say it was God alone who had to walk me through the valley of the shadow of death. No man could do it.

My neck is killing me and I need to go to sleep for church in the morning so I will have to pick back up on this. ;)