blah blah blah

Please go and read the latest entry on Fran's blog about Bethlehem. It is so good. Then read Bev's entry about leading a quiet life. They are such precious women!!!

So it is official my child is a biter!! She is biting kids at school! Any advice?

On another note...it has been a hard few days with the Morganater. We were in search of bippy's (her MiMi calls them that so that is the new word for a passy). She was screaming all through Burlington coat factory biiiiippeee! If you are from the south you can add the twang to it because it has some southern twang when she says it. So, I could only find bumble bee passy's which are not what she wanted. She has a particular kind. So she screamed and screamed biiiippee biiippee all throughout the store. I was having such a hard time with her and I needed to go to the restroom and get out of there. I go to the restroom and try to take the buggy (a.k.a. shopping cart) in with her. A lady says, "honey, you can't take this in here." I said, "ma'am I have no merchandise in this cart...only her...and so I guess I should let her crawl around under the stalls while I am going to the restroom." I had such a hard day that it almost pushed me over the edge. I have even been having to carry around the spanking spoon with me because she has been so unruly (2 1/2 years old).

Then, today we went to Walmart to look for her bippy's. She pitched a good fit wanted some Go Diego Go stuff and this guy stares at me with the most puzzled face. Then, I said..."have you not ever had a kid?" He said that he had and I was like well okay then. Anyway, it cracks me up when people look at a tenacious, strong-willed two year old and expect her to be 20!!

We have been running circles around the house chasing each other so I am pretty worn out!
We were listening to Watermark's "All Things New" which is one of the best cds ever. I also broke out Passion's "Better is Oneday" cd. They are my favorite! Get them if you can!!

The Second time is a Charm!

1 John 1:3-20
19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

Last night I was reading verse 20 after really wrestling with some things in my Spirit. I was hit like a ton of bricks when I read the verse because I had never thought of it in the light that God revealed to me yesterday or should I say this morning...since it was 1am before my child went to bed. What I felt Him speaking to me is that He is greater than my heart...the seat of my emotions. He is greater than how I feel...if I feel unforgiven and I have repented...He forgives me. If I feel rejected, He is greater than that. If I feel condemned, He says that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Anyway, I needed this word last night that God is greater than what I feel, even though my feelings can be so powerful and so real to me. I also need the reminder to stand on God's truth when I feel a certain way that is in contradiction the the God breathed word! Then, I thought I would randomly pick up the 90 days with David devo by Beth Moore. I opened to the page that talks about 1 sam 19 and Sauls jealousy of David. There is no one that I love more than David. I can relate with him in so many ways and I also relate with truly having a heart for God yet making poor choices. I am so thankful that God looks on our hearts. So I opened to page 99 to bve exact and this is what I read:
"Truly, love is more powerful than jealousy, just as godliness is more powerful than wickedness, and the Spirit of God is more powerful than anything! That's what it takes to burst the walls of rage and jealousy within us. First John 3:20 says, "God is greater than our hearts." As children of God, we do not have to be derailed by the way we feel. Our God is greater. Give Him your heart!"

So how is that for His word being alive and active!!!!!!!!! I don't think it to be any coincidence that He spoke those verses to me twice in a 24 hour period! I dig Him for speaking to me in this way! We seriously just need to seek Him and we will find Him! He is not far off from each of us.

Part 1

Throughout the years of teaching I would always ALWAYS almost throw up before I taught...I was so nervous. I was so scared that I would get up and it would be Jenny speaking and that the Holy Spirit would not show up. Anyway, I had several precious girls over the year meet me in a closet to pray. We would get down on the floor in our dresses or skirts and lay prostrate before God and beg Him to meet with us. I have often heard that I would get over this trembling and nervousness. I would sometimes reply...no, I don't ever want to get comfortable with this. I don't ever want to feel like I have this thing down. I don't ever want to show up to teach and it be "Jenny in the flesh". So, on Saturday nights I would stay up half the night and beg God to speak to me. I felt that if He was not speaking a fresh word to me that I had NOTHING to say to anyone else. While curicullums are good and they have their place I could not contain what God was teaching me personally. Some of the things that I would beg God to do would be to bring people who were stuck in the trenches of sin and that they would come to the waters without money and drink deep. I would ask God to bring people that would get a hold of His word and that He would change their lives...and I saw it time and time again. There is nothing like it. Seriously, I have goosebumps as I type this...you have no idea what the Word has meant to me (also, before I get side tracked...I get the same nervousness when I open up a blog post to share). You can not imagine the desperation that I had for someone to want me and to have unconditional love and in a world of lies...I wanted truth. I am sure you have felt the same. I was reminded yet again that there is nothing money can buy that can satisfy the deep longings of our soul like the Holy Spirit will for believers in Christ. Yet so often...we refuse to come to Him. We heap sin apon sin in our efforts to chase down the wind of satisfying our own souls and don't you think that sometimes each one of us have gone to a place where we slipped from the joy and satisfaction that abiding in Christ brings (if we have indeed tasted and seen that He is good). I have been to that place where I just got worn out and decided to take things in my own hands and try to meet my own needs...it's a scary thing...and a miserable thing.

Two days ago, I was sitting still (not sure where Morgan was since I had a minute to sit still) and I heard in my inner man the words from Isaiah 40: but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. I asked the Lord to confirm that this was a word for me along with a verse in Colossians...and I opened up a book I was reading the next day and turned to the page I was on for that day and guess what treasure was on the page...those verses from Isaiah and Colossians. Please don't believe the lie that God does not care about the details. He is into the details...He knows every hair on our heads and every hair that has ever fallen to the ground. He knows our hearts when we feel like our sins are more than the number of hairs on our head. I like the King James Version better:
31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Here is the context it is to rich to leave out:
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

The word for wait in this verse means what you think: Qawah: to expect, patiently wait for, hope.

Why do you think that you and I are so quick to quit believing God? Why do you think we decide to take matters in our own hands and strive to go at this thing on our own? I think that we so often trust in our limited sight and better yet...how we feel or what comes natural to us. Just to be honest, I have really been taking a certain matter in my own hands. I in essence, with my actions said you know what God you are taking to long and I am weary of this so I am going to do and say what I want here. Then guess what? I was sinning against God. My friend Jessica and I were talking about how easy it is for us to do what is natural but when we choose what doesn't come natural we experience freedom. Case in point. I was in an argument with Rod over the weekend and instead of blowing up and saying things to cut I got in my car to go to work and I prayed about it. Guess what I saw the power of God show up in that small matter to remind me to literally go to Him first! I was talking to Rods mom about how I will do real well and then default back into going at it my own in defending myself or stating my case instead of entrusting it to the Lord. She said she did the same thing when she was younger and that I just can't choose the natural way at the moment. There really is power in exercising self-control and not sinning in the moment. Galatians is dead on when it talks about biting and devouring each other...it really will destroy your relationships. I can still remember words that were said to me when I was younger that damaged me.

Another thing that I have been so invaded by this week is Hosea 14. It is prophecy but I believe that these verses are as applicable to us as they were to the Israelites. It is God's promise of blessing to the repentant. Also, the last verses state that God is right. Right indeed He is. He can not be anything other than truth and in Him there is no darkness at all! I think that we can get in such a pattern of sin and disobedience that we can't even imagine getting out of the ditch. We look at other people in the faith and think that they are just "other" than us and that we could never be walking in the liberty that they are...that is a farce. It is just sins entanglement and lie. I was struck by the Amplified version of Hebrews 12:1-2 this week...please take it in: 1THEREFORE THEN, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us,
2Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection].

The Lord in His infallible word tells us that we should look at all who have gone before us in the faith (Hebrews 11 is such a good picture) that bore testimony to the truth and that we should run in the same way. Run free of encumbrances...whatever is encumbering you may be different for me, but you know what it is. So, we need to be stripped of those things by letting God have His way in us and by having a steady diet of the Word. I was listening to Beth this week and she was talking about Psalm 37:4 and how we don't just need head knowledge we desperately need God to write His word on our hearts.

There is going to have to be part two to this because I hardly got out what I wanted to say...

People Pleasing

from www.walkintheword.com

James MacDonald

People Pleasing

"Find out what pleases the Lord." Ephesians 5:10

Some of the greatest pain I've known in life I have brought on myself through attempting the impossible: pleasing other people. Just think of the effort and angst we extend every day trying to get others to like or approve or affirm us. Don't be fooled-people-pleasing is a dead-end street.

Whether the people you crave recognition from is your boss, your parent, your friend, or someone from your past-when you position them as judge and jury over your life, you're putting yourself in bondage.

Jesus came to set you free from this painful pattern of living. "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed," (John 8:36). Two choices that helped me turn the corner on this issue are:

Choice #1
I minimize my focus on what others think of me.

Paul faced the temptation to people-please. Notice his response to people comparing his and Apollos' ministries in 1 Corinthians 4:3:

"But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself."

He minimized the weight he placed on others' opinions. "It's a very small thing," he said.

Remember that as you reflect on this past Thanksgiving with your parents, reliving all the tensions of the day and wishing your mom would've said what she's never said, and may never say. No matter how big her rejection feels to you, believe what the Scripture says: "It's a very small thing."

Choice #2
I maximize my focus on what God thinks of me.

I've had to come to the place in my life where my consuming passion is to focus on God's evaluation. Let me suggest four ways to do this:

#1 Spend quality and quantity time with the Lord. More time with Him will help you know and desire to do what pleases Him most.

#2 Don't be controlled or manipulated by emotional blackmail. Some people hold a dynamite stick in one hand and a match in the other and threaten to control you by intimidation. Just walk away.

#3 Limit enslaving friendships. People who base relationships on performance, not acceptance, are never satisfied. Limit their influence and the time you spend with them.

#4 Get alone with the Lord on a daily basis and ask, "Lord, are you pleased with my life? God is the only one who has all the facts, sees all the motives and knows why your boss is never satisfied or why your dad won't accept you as you are. Let it go and focus on pleasing Him alone.

One hundred years from today only God's assessment of your life will matter.

parenting

CLICK HERE for an article on "Cultivating a Godly Child" by John MacArthur

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Retail Rudeness and other things!

2 Timothy 3:1-3
1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.



I almost forgot to share this. I work with a lady named Jeanette. She is one of the most even killed ladies you will ever meet. Consistent in every way in regards to her mood. She is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. I have never seen her mad since I have known her. Well, we get some extremely self centered customers in our store. One called tonight and wanted her to measure :shirts and see what differences they had in length in the same size. Can you even imagine? While Jeanette was on the phone I saw the irritation rise...which is so rare. Anyway, another lady...Debbie went to check a size for the lady on the phone and it was taking too long so the customer said to Jeanette and I quote: "Does she not know what I am looking for....why is it taking so long...I am sitting in a cold car...can't she hurry!" I about died! We were inconveniencing her...she was in a cold car trying to place an order and we did not get the memo that she was the most important person on the planet! I am so glad that I didn't answer that call! LOL!

I also decided to put up the Christmas tree tonight. I put Morgan in her room and began to get the decor out of the attic. Anyway, you would think it would be a wonderful family event...nope. Rod would usually direct me on where to put the lights or ornaments from the couch. Morgan would rip the whole tree apart. I didn't think spanking and telling her about the baby Jesus went hand and hand. So I decided to go at it alone! I put everything together and brought the little booger down stairs. She was thrilled beyond measure. And then you guessed it! The beautiful moment ended in having to break out the spanking spoon for her ripping the ornaments off of the tree and trying to climb up it and tear the lights off. Joy!

Then, I had to do something really hard today and I was reminded again that doing what is right doesn't always mean it will be easy.
off to bed!

Randomness from my weekend

I do have an update on Linda. Some people at my work and I thought that we would try to help them for Christmas instead of playing a Dirty Santa game. It just moves me beyond belief that these people would care for a family that they do not even know. So, I called Linda and asked her about it and she asked me to come bye (the gas station) when I got off of work tonight. So I went and her and her son were there. After a year I really felt that the time was right to share about having a relationship with Christ and they were receptive. I also got to talk to Kevin (her son) about his feelings and why God would allow this. Anyway, I just have to trust that the word of the Lord will not return void (Isa. 55). As I stood there talking with them tonight I just prayed that the Lord would give me boldness and sensitivity to their situation. I have no idea what they are going through and I am not about to pretend to.

On another note...Rod brought Morgan to see me at work tonight. They don't have too many outings together so I could hardly wait for them to get there!! She was devastated, as usual, when I left for work today and it always breaks my heart. I told Rod that she didn't even know where I worked and that I would love it if he would bring her. He brought her without her stroller (I know this will mean she thinks she will be free from the stroller from here on out...but she is wrong). I was sitting at the conceirge desk when she came in and that big girl was the cutest thing I have ever seen. She was sporting her Christmas outfit and her backpack. Her eyes were full of wonder as she walked along. Then, she saw her momma and cheers of excitement broke out! I am not kidding. She was shocked to come there and find her mommy! I am so thankful to the Lord for that little sweetheart. I tell her all of the time that NO ONE and I mean NO ONE on this earth will EVER love her as much as I do. I think she knows it. Her dad and MiMi and Pop come in just behind me! She rode the carousel on my break and got really brave since her daddy was watching her. Normally she trembles and puts me in a headlock. With her dad there she was even holding on with one hand!

I have so much to say about some stuff the Lord is teaching me in Hosea but I don't have time to type it tonight. My home is suffering from me working so much. I will be off from Tues until Sunday! Whoo hooo!!

I love you all!!

Elf Family

I am sorry but I just about died when I did this. CLICK HERE!!

My little sister

I have no idea why...but my sister Stephanie's picture is at the top of this website! LOL! It is 103.7 the Q a local radio station.
Click HERE.

Linda

Psalm 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.


Today was a crazy day! I had to get in the mall scene for work and it was a mad house! I always make it a point to frequent places in the name of building relationships with people in my community. There are some real opportunities for ministry all around. Anyway, I am also a bit of a creature of habit and I like to go to the same places. I met a lady named Linda over a year ago and the Shell gas station that I go to. She seemed so worn out by life when I met her. I couldn't get her to talk much (which if you know me...I am pretty easy to talk to). So the Lord really started laying her on my heart and I made it a point to go see her when she was working. I found out a lot about her in the course of this year and I found myself praying for her all of the time. She is single and has a grown son with two grandkids and a daughter in law. Her daughter in law has a rare disease and has had a tumor on her brain. She has had eleven brain surgeries and has been in ICU for the last six months. One more thing I found out is that none of them have known the Lord. I began to pray for an opportune time to share with her. I truly believe that we should build relationships with people and share the gospel. Most people aren't as receptive if they don't know that you care about them. Well anyway, I have been stopping bye to find out about her daughter in law, Crystal. She recently had surgery and things were really looking up. When I went in the gas station today I asked Linda how Crystal was doing and she started crying her eyes out. The doctor had just called and she got the news that the tumor was back and that there was nothing they could do at this point. They were going to send her home to die. I can not even imagine what they are going through. I can't imagine the fear that her two young kids and her husband have right now. She cried and said that she didn't know how they would bury her. I stood there...so helpless...and told her I was so sorry for them and that I would be praying. I can not imagine going through something like this and not knowing the Lord and walking with Him through this dark night. Another thing...her daughter in law is my age...it is very sobering. I can't imagine leaving my little Morgan at this point in time. Please pray for Linda and her family...and pray that salvation will come to them all. Now that I have taken the time to know her...it really hurts me for her as well. I can't get them out of my mind. I see each face of the family and I pray that they will come to know the same hope that I have.

Morgan and Santa

So, we went to see Santa today and Morgan was petrified! We went and met her cousins and they did great. She on the otherhand was shaking. Anyway, she has tights on but she got sucker all over them.

I love the picture anyway!

Have a great thanksgiving! I will be working hard all weekend. I haven't had much time in blog land due to work. :)

To Good not to post!

from www.walkintheword.com

James MacDonald

This is so good and I sure don't want to miss out on what God has for my life with all of my grumbling and complaining!

Say Thank You

And the LORD spoke to Moses and to Aaron, saying, "How long shall this wicked congregation grumble against me? . . . Say to them, 'As I live, declares the LORD, what you have said in my hearing I will do to you: your dead bodies shall fall in this wilderness, . . . But your little ones, who you said would become a prey, I will bring in, and they shall know the land that you have rejected. Numbers 14:26-31

Life is all about choices.

Attitude is our first one. When I encounter a situation that is not what I think it should be, I must choose to see it like the proverbial glass half full or the glass half empty. Those two perspectives take me to two very different places depending on my attitude.

God cares very much about our choice between a negative attitude full of complaining and a grateful attitude full of faith. Apart from the Cross of Christ itself, I believe the most radical thing that He ever did in Scripture is in Numbers 14 where He said to a whole generation of His own children, “I can’t take your grumbling anymore. Go on back into the wilderness and die.” He loved these people; He miraculously and dramatically rescued these people. But no matter what He did for them, they flat out refused to stop stirring each other up with all their whining. So, God decided to give their kids the blessing that they wouldn’t let Him give to them. All because they refused to look at their situation with a grateful attitude. Very simply, God would have been pleased if they had just drawn the line between all the ways He had protected and cared for them and a heart-felt “thank you, Lord.” Their gratitude would have changed history.

Even pagans see the impact of a thankful attitude. Pick up most “self-improvement” bestsellers or tune in to the talk show circuit and you’ll hear this same word on the top of everyone’s list on how to have a better life. A God-centered, faith-oriented, grateful life is a healthier, happier life-this from people who don’t even know the Lord. Just imagine the joy available for those of us who are His own.

Yes, joy flows when you stop circling on the present, perhaps difficult circumstances and turn your attention to the blessings that are yours in Christ Jesus. How? Start by giving thanks for all that you have received from Him. Be personal and specific, rehearsing His faithfulness from big things to small. Like a fragrant offering, your gratitude rises to God and blesses Him and in turn, His blessing fills you with such faith that the pattern of your life turns from complaining to thankfulness.

Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Psalm 105:1

A word for me.

This is Matthew Henry's commentary on the first chapter of Zephaniah. Please try to take in the last couple of sentences and apply them to your own life and where the interests of your heart lay.

Threatenings against sinners.

Ruin is coming, utter ruin; destruction from the Almighty. The servants of God all proclaim, There is no peace for the wicked. The expressions are figurative, speaking every where desolation; the land shall be left without inhabitants. The sinners to be consumed are, the professed idolaters, and those that worship Jehovah and idols, or swear to the Lord, and to Malcham. Those that think to divide their affections and worship between God and idols, will come short of acceptance with God; for what communion can there be between light and darkness? If Satan have half, he will have all; if the Lord have but half, he will have none. Neglect of God shows impiety and contempt. May none of us be among those who draw back unto perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul. (Zep 1:7-13) (emphasis mine)

Blessing

Psalm 63:5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

My little sweetie has been at her MiMi and Pop's since Friday. It was almost more than I could take... I missed that little boog' so much! She didn't miss me, which I am glad. She loves her Mimi and Pop like nobodies business. When she went to meet them on Friday she waved and encouraged me to go so she could go and have the time of her life at their house. I am so thankful that they love her and she loves them. Anyway, I could not wait to get off of work and head to Moody to meet up with them. She was so happy to see me and I was thrilled to see her. That was too long for her to be away from her momma I told her. She is laying next to me all dressed in pink just sleeping away. I can't tell you the nights that I sit up and watch her sleep. I usually pray over her and ponder. I try just to take it all in that God would allow me to steward this tiny 2 foot blessing. I will never get one second of our time back so I want to enjoy it every moment.

Rod went to Iowa to hunt for the week and I had to work all weekend so she got a mini vacation so I could work. It is so easy to get in complaining mode at all of the tasks that we have as mothers and it is even easier to miss out on the blessing of life and relationships as we get so distracted. When I had free time this weekend there were times when I wondered what I should do with myself. If you are a mother it is so easy to start to attach your identity to your children that you are kind of lost when you are alone. I want to be known as Morgan's mommy and certainly fulfill my duties as her mother, but I don't want to ever lose my identity of who I am in Christ Jesus by allowing others to take His place of fulfillment. I sort of felt an emptiness and loneliness when she wasn't around...almost like I was kind of down in my spirit if you know what I am talking about. The Lord used this time to call me to Him and have some extra time to pray and clean my house :) and also teach me that it is okay to be alone and to be still before Him. I know the Lord wanted to show me that I need to be filled with Him and allow Him to tend to my heart when no one was around. I needed to enjoy Him instead of feeling sad and lonely...He is always there and I got that check in my spirit that I was sort of allowing relationships (even if it be my child) to fill me and not the Lord. Does anyone know what I am talking about?

Well, it is getting late but I think about the following verses as I sit and watch over Morgan as she sleeps. I have said this before and here it is again...I can never begin to explain the ministry that the Lord has done in my heart through having this child. I never really felt loved as a child and through the love I have for Morgan, which this love comes from God, I can get a pin-hole glimpse of how much God loves me and it really does my heart good. You may not be like me, but if you have not felt loved will you hear the Lord say this over you...He loves you so much.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

My First Bloggy Giveaway!!!

Okay I am so excited. I have a book to give away and you guessed it....Beth Moore! It is The Beloved Disciple. You know what to do...leave a comment! Also leave a link to your blog if you have one. I am not sure how to do all of this link stuff so this is a test run!! Click on the Mr. Linky icon below! I am going to give everyone 2 weeks before I close this off!! :) Yeah! Also, if you are a lurker here ;) please leave a comment anyway! And you can also link to my small contest on your blog if you want.

Here is some info about the book:

John the apostle must have thought he had seen everything. Having been with Jesus all the years of his ministry, John witnessed more miracles than he could count, saw more displays of power than he could comprehend, and experienced more love than he could fathom. And one unforgettable morning young John outran Peter to his Savior's empty tomb. Just as Christ took John on a lifelong journey into the depths of His love, He will do the same for you. The bridegroom's love is unmatched and inexhaustible, and He is waiting to lavish it on you, His beloved.Publisher: Broadman & Holman PublishersPage Count: 340

++++I meant to say to add a comment in the comment section under the post. sorry!! :) thanks.

I really do have common sense...I promise

I have had the day to myself so after church I went to the mall to look for something that my dad had wanted and I ran into a bunch of my friends from hunter street (and of course) I talked for a while. Anyway, I forgot to mention that I kept the nursery this morning...what a blessing (besides the dirty diapers...yuck). I love those little sweeties and how they say the most darling things. I also get so tickled when I see a child and I have known their parents for a while and I can see what traits they have of their mom and dad. There is one little sweetie named Ella, she is the most beautiful little thing...and she cracks me up! I said to her today..."Ella, why are you so cute? Did Jesus make you that way?" "Yes He did," she replied. It sends me rolling. I felt so bad for this one kid because he dropped a bomb in his pants if you know what I am saying. I was gagging and telling him what a stinky he had and he would shake his head and laugh so hard. He was very proud of dropping that bomb (some daddy was training him right)! Boys! Then, I asked one of Morgan's friends if she was good in her preschool class and she said, "Mrs. Susie says....shhhhhhhhh! to her!" So I guess Morgan is already getting in trouble for talking. That would be her following suite since I would take honors classes make straight A's and occasional B's and get a U-unsatisfactory in conduct on my report card and be grounded for weeks. I heard "Miss Wells, stop talking" (even if it wasn't me) a million times!

On to the common sense story. I went to Best Buy last week to get my IPod looked at. Anyway, I went to the restroom to wash my hands from the people at Walmart getting grease all over the steering wheel. I stood there like an idiot not knowing if the soap was going to come out automatically or the towels (they were manual). With all of the high tech battery operated dispensers and automatic flushing toilets and sensors on the hand dryers and sinks...I am really starting to get confused. Anyway, there is only one Burger King around the area that I live, so I decided since I was on that side of town to go and get me some lunch. Then, I realized since the line was so long that I could go inside since I didn't have Morgan. I went in, ordered, and started to get my drink. It was a fountain drink and I for the life of me could not figure out how to get the Sprite to come out. I thought maybe I should set my cup down and it would come out automatically. Wrong...finally I was like how in the world does this work and the girl started busting out laughing. She told me that I just needed to push the button...oops. To my defense it was not a traditional dispenser and just had buttons with the name of the drink on it. I promised her that I had some sense and she laughed...but seriously is anyone but me getting confused with all of this? LOL (Laugh out loud)!!!!

by faith...

From John MacArthur's website (a daily devotional):

Saturday, November 17, 2007

"By faith [Abraham] lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God" (Heb. 11:9-10).

Following God's call isn't always easy. He expects us to trust Him explicitly, yet doesn't ask our advise on decisions that may impact us dramatically. He doesn't tell us His specific plans at any given point in our lives. He doesn't always shelter us from adversity. He tests our faith to produce endurance and spiritual maturity--tests that are sometimes painful. He makes some promises that we'll never see fulfilled in this life.

If following God's call is a challenge for us, imagine how it was for Abraham, who had no Bible, no pastor, no sermons, no commentaries, and no Christian encouragement or accountability. But what he did have was the promise of a nation, a land, and a blessing (Gen. 12:1-3). That was good enough for him.

Abraham never settled in the land of promise. Neither did his son Isaac or grandson Jacob. They were aliens, dwelling in tents like nomads. Abraham never built houses or cities. The only way he would possess the land was by faith. Yet Abraham patiently waited for God's promises to be fulfilled.

As important as the earthly land was to him, Abraham was patient because his sight was on his heavenly home, "the city . . . whose architect and builder is God" (Heb. 11:10). He knew beyond any doubt that he would inherit that city, whether or not he ever saw his earthly home in his lifetime.

Similarly, being heavenly minded gives you the patience to continue working for the Lord when things get tough. It's the best cure I know for discouragement or spiritual fatigue. That's why Paul says to set your mind "on the things above, not on the things that are on earth" (Col. 3:2). If your mind is set on heaven, you can endure whatever happens here.

Suggestions for Prayer:

• Praise God for your heavenly home.
• Seek His grace to help you keep a proper perspective amid the difficulties of this life.

For Further Study:

Read the portion of Abraham's life recorded in Genesis 12- 17.

Galatians 6:7-10 (Amplified)

7Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked ^[g]by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside.) [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and ^[h]that only is what he will reap.

8For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

9And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

10So then, as occasion and opportunity open up to us, let us do good [^[i]morally] to all people [not only ^[j]being useful or profitable to them, but also doing what is for their spiritual good and advantage]. Be mindful to be a blessing, especially to those of the household of faith [those who belong to God's family with you, the believers].

I have had a pretty busy few days and I came home tonight and just felt sort of lonely. Anyway, the Lord reminded me in my Spirit of these verses. I really needed this word tonight. I will reap what I sow. I am not talking about the prosperity gospel at all here. I am talking about a prospering in the soul. If I choose to feed my flesh I will reap destruction... but if I feed my Spirit I will reap life and peace. It really is a resolve in this present day and age...either we will choose to spend time with the Lord and come to know Him more through His word or we will keep stuffing down what the world offers in a foolish attempt to feel satisfied in the here and now. Looking back on my life at the times I have chosen to live for myself and my sinful desires, I see the pure 100 percent destruction those poor choices brought to my life. In obedience and time spent feeding my heart and mind with God's word, I have in turn experienced the blessedness of peace amidst chaos and turmoil around me. Oh that the Lord would teach us wisdom in our innermost being and that we would hurry to do His will and obey His word. Today I went to a program at our church called "hope for the holidays" where people had lost a loved one. It was yet another sober reminder as I listened to this precious woman, Nancy, speak of her husband being murdered. Christ just resonates through this woman. She is truly a display of His splendor. She shared her testimony, thus far, and I was reminded of how our life truly is a vapor and a mist, here one day and gone the next. It made me think once again: What am I doing here? How crowded out is my heart and mind for the Lord? Am I really living for Him or is it for myself? And I thought once again...this is not my home...I have more to look forward to and yet how often I get stuck in the here and now of planet earth. Our lives here really are short and what we do really matters. Help us overcome our unbelief!!

Lord remove the scales from my eyes and the spiritual blindness that the fleeting pleasures of this world have caused me. Circumcise my heart and let me love You wholly...You are worthy Lord.

repeat

My friend Jessica is so sweet to know me and still read my blog...you know what I mean. Anyway, she sent this to me today and I am not sure when I wrote it but I needed these words again to fall fresh on me.


Ephesians 4:26-2726 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,27 and do not give the devil a foothold.I just got home from work and I have been harboring some anger that left unchecked will turn into bitterness. I was reminded of this verse this morning: Hebrews 12:15 See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. The word for bitter (or bitterness in the KJV) is pikria {pik-ree'-ah}Meaning: 1) bitter gall 1a) extreme wickedness 1b) a bitter root, and so producing a bitter fruit 1c) metaph. bitterness, bitter hatredI thought about this verse and the verse from Eph. 4:26-27 Notice the wording in verse 26 "26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, (emphasis mine)." I used to think that this verse meant that I had to work out my anger issues with someone before I went to sleep and that they were to deal with their anger as well. Which we obviously can't control whether someone works on their junk or not. But what if the other person is still angry at you?. I was reminded in my heart that I needed to go home tonight and pour out my heart to God (Lamentations 2:19 Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children, who faint from hunger at the head of every street.) No matter what I have done, I need to try as far as it depends on me to live at peace with others...I can not control whether they reciprocate or not. Also, it is so easy to pick up the phone and talk to a friend about your anger, but I really need to go to the Lord first. I have run across so many people that think they can't get into God's presence and tell them what they are harboring in their hearts. Being a Christian doesn't mean "fake it until you make it!" God made us. He knows our every word before it is on our tongue...he knows our hearts. Who better to pour out our hearts to than Him? I am not saying that we don't need to talk to friends or have godly counsel...but we need to go to His throne first. We will never drain Him. He will never be too busy. On the backlight of my home phones I typed on the screens Jesus. I will put the phones on do not disturb while Morgan is sleeping. When they are on do not disturb the phone reads "do not disturb Jesus." As if He were ever to busy for us! But I think sometimes we limit Him and compare Him to others and adopt the attitude that Jesus has other fish to fry! Nothing could be further from the truth. Anyway, Jesus is after relationship and as long as we are on this planet we will have trials, experience anger, and etc. We need to go to Him so He can heal us of our broken heart. The situation may not change but He can change me. Verse 27 says that if we go to bed with anger that we are giving the enemy a foothold. That is so true. Bitterness and resentment build as we nurse our open wounds without bringing them to Jesus. Then we get a hard heart and allow the enemy in the back door. I KNOW ALL ABOUT THIS!!!!! What is his purpose? He is a theif, he comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. Let's quit giving him the foothold. If you are like me...you may feel at times very justified in holding onto your anger...but over time it will cause a hard heart, a bitter root will spring up and defile many. I know it first hand. Lord, help us to run to you. Like Ishmael and Hagar in the desert about to die, You were the God who "saw her." Help us to pour it all out to You. You are our comfort. Redeem us from anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness Help us to walk in truth

Heart wrenching

I have been closely following this story and it makes me so sick. It is the story about the missing teenager Ben Stanford, from Alabama. I am so sad for this family. Words do no justice for what they are going through. Please keep them in your prayers. Then here is a video clip from tonights news.

Morgan

I already know that I have a pistol on my hands when it comes to my little two footer. She still doesn't talk very well but one thing she has been calling me is "mom". That would be great if she were like 15 or something but I would hope that my two year old child could call me mommy. I am wondering if next year she will start calling me "mother" or something. I waited 2 years and 3 months to hear the name mommy fall from her lips and she calls me mom like she is 20 years old. She is also into taking her diaper off ALL OF THE TIME...which is getting expensive since we use Pampers (time to start learning to potty). Last night I walked in her room and she was passed out and as naked as a j-bird. That is why I don't leave that little thing unattended. Good thing she didn't have to go if you know what i mean... that was a blessing. Also, I already feel so guilty when we go to the store and she screams choo-choo, dora, go diego go, and bob and larry...meaning she wants these things when she spots them. The funniest thing is when she is getting in trouble and I ask her if she wants a spanking...she says no and shakes her head no. I am like what a stupid question like she is going to say yes "mom" spank me or something. Fun times!

Tag

I have been tagged by Ang at LSOF. Here goes nothing!

Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Seven Random Facts:
1. I smell my food before I eat it.
2. I sometimes sleep with my bible next to me.
3. I like to watch Veggie Tales more than Morgan does...I think it is me reliving my childhood...j/k!
4. I will not eat meat on the bone.
5. I pass out very easily.
6. I rarely spend over 5 dollars for any piece of clothing.
7. I eat in the middle of the night.

I tag:
1. Charity
2. Janel
3. Teri
4. pinkmommy
5. Bev
6. Alissa
7. Heather and Harold

ps their links are all on my side bar. It would take too long to link to everyone. :)

In Christ Alone

Psalm 29:2
Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness.

I am sitting here at Panera studying and I was listening to the music on my side bar and came to In Christ Alone, by Travis Cottrell. Go listen to it if you have time. If that song does not move you to worship you must go immediately and check your pulse to make sure your heart is still beating. :) I seriously thought I was about to bust out in praise and be like David when he said he would get even more undignified than this!

I was studying this morning about my security in the Lord and how much foolishness comes out of our insecurities. I could sit here and give you a huge list over things that we do out of pure insecurity but I am sure that you have your own. I have battled insecurity ever since I can remember. I think a lot of it has to do with my childhood but nevertheless I battle with it. I have to literally go to the Lord daily over it. What would our lives be like if we came to God daily and got our worth from Him and not this world? What kind of falls would we avoid? How much damage have we done in our own lives by the feelings that come from insecurity?

I was on the phone with my mother-in-law (she is more like a mom to me) and I was telling her how I don't want to just praise God when things are good. I don't want my security to be wrapped in what God gives but in who He is...in Christ alone. Everything is temporal here and will not last. I want my foundation to be rooted in Him and not things. It is so easy to just praise Him in the good times...instead of the idea of this verse in Psalm 34:1 I will extol the LORD at alltimes; his praise will always be on my lips. When I learned of losing my first born and I laid in the dark on the hospital bed those words came from my mouth immediately. I said Lord, I will extol You at all times, Your praise will always be on my lips. Not because it was easy, and not that I wasn't ever angry or hurting...but because I know that my Redeemer lives (Job 19:24-26) and that He is good and that nothing will separate me from the love of Christ (Romans 8). I tell you this is a total work of the Spirit for me to be able to say that.

It really is true that in losing our lives for His sake, we will find them. Instead we buy the lie that says "you have to find yourself" and in doing that we become even more insecure and miserable. Our lives are to be living sacrifices...offering ourselves to the Lord. Romans 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

Psalm 95:6

Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;

Jessica

My heart is so full of tenderness and thanksgiving for one of my best friends. Her birthday is this month and I can't thank God enough for her life and the way He orchestrated our friendship. I went through a season of not having any real close friends when I first started walking with the Lord. I prayed and asked God for friends that were like Jonathan and David in the bible...kindred spirits. If you don't have a close godly girlfriend I pray that you will ask God for one. Anyway, our relationship is centered on Christ and I can't tell you how thankful I am for the counsel and encouragement that she brings to my life. She is the kind of friend that you can just sit in the room with and hang out. We don't have to have a plan or agenda. She lives 2 hours away so most of our time is on the phone and email. But it is a friendship that adds life to you instead of sucking the life out of you...do you know what I mean? I wanted to list a few aspects of my frienship that I think are so important in having a friend.

1. We need to be so wise about choosing the people that we walk this earth with in close fellowship. The people that we really let in and let know us. I am very sanguine and a mix of choleric in my personality and I can talk to just about anyone...but I don't let just everyone in. I can be me with her. I have no fear that she is going to gossip or judge me. I can seriously tell her anything. I am so thankful for that kind of freedom and accountability.

Proverbs 12:26

26 A righteous man is cautious in friendship, [a] but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

2. This girl has truly loved me through some hard times and she has never once made me feel condemned even if she has had to speak the truth in love. She doesn't just quit being a friend. Honestly, I have never met a more loyal person in my life. If I ever ask her to pray about something she does and I mean she follows up. She listens not only with her ears but with her heart.

Proverbs 17:17

17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

3. She truly is my family...my sister in Christ and the investment that we both make in our friendship truly draws us closer than even most of my siblings. We love to share what we are learning and she constantly sends me scriptures via text and email to point me to Jesus.

Proverbs 18:24

24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

4. Earnest counsel--she seriously gives me godly counsel when I need it and encourages me to keep my focus on Christ. It truly is so uplifting and encouraging. I can't tell you how many times she even tells me the truth to refute lies that I am believing about myself. It is like the verse that says we are to encourage one another daily so that we dont become hardened by sin's deceitfulness. She truly speaks courage into my life.

Proverbs 27:9

9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

5. I have taken several tumbles in to the pit since we have been friends and I have had her there to help pick me up and help me to keep walking and keep focused. She constantly challenges me to believe what God says and not how I feel. I need that.

Eccl 4:10

10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

6. The relationship that we have through prayer and the word sharpens me. It helps me to grow and fires me up about Jesus esp when we are learning the same things and God is teaching us the same stuff. It builds my faith.

Proverbs 27:17

17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

There are so many other things I could say...but I am so thankful to God that He doesn't leave us here alone to do this thing. I don't know where I would be at times without her sweet friendship. It is a gift from God.

I love you sweet Jessica. Thank you for knowing me and still loving me in the Lord for me. Unconditional.

A wretch like me

This is my only outlet to share besides bible study and customers at work for right now so I have to share something from this morning.

For the past few days I have been thinking about these verses regarding where I would be without the Lord:
Psalm 124
1 If the LORD had not been on our side—
let Israel say-

2 if the LORD had not been on our side
when men attacked us,

3 when their anger flared against us,
they would have swallowed us alive;

Then this morning I opened my bible study to the same verses. I love the Lord for re-enforcing what was in my heart. Anyway, I got up out of my prayer time this morning just crying thinking about where I would be without him. With my past I was headed for some major lonely roads and destruction. Rod and I were just sitting here talking about how awful our lives would be if Jesus had not reached down from on High and saved us from the waters that were overtaking us. My dearest friend Jessica and I were on the phone talking yesterday about how the Israelites were delivered out of Egypt (the land of slavery) and how God led them yet they gave into fear and did not trust in His provision and longed to go back to Egypt. God was taking them to a better place but when things got tough they wanted to return to what was familiar. Sometimes our slavery can become what is so normal to us that it is where we are comfortable and at least we know what to expect. There is a better way. Christ died for us to be made free not shackled to sin's slavery. So they forgot the back braking slavery they were subjected to and thought it better to go back. I have blogged on this before but that is so like us. We look back on past relationships or places where we were in bondage and it is like we can totally be deceived and forget all of the hardship and chains and long to go back. That is the danger of constantly measuring our circumstances and trusting in our sight instead of having faith. One of the prayers of mine even this week is that God would make me cringe and become sick when I dare think Egypt is better (metaphorically speaking) I don't want to be deceived. The enemy wants to take us back to our Egypt's. He wants us to quit going on with God. We have a very real enemy that wants to destroy us. He wants us to wander around in the wilderness, doubting God and giving into idolatry. Our battle is not against flesh and blood. Listen he hates you and me he wants to destroy our families, our testimony, and he wants to bring reproach on the name of God. If you have been in a land of slavery it is going to take work and time with the Lord to be free from the mindset that has been ingrained in you and me. For a long time now I have had to seriously bathe myself in the word day and night and constantly arm myself with scripture. It has been my freedom, that is the only thing I know that works is to constantly be invaded with truth even when the truth hurts. As far as us fighting the good fight I think about the conquest of Canaan. Joshua was to lead the people into the promised land in a holy war but God would not just give the land to them without them setting foot on it. They had to march on every part that he would give them. Our victories are going to come with marching on with God and trampling down the high places in the power of the Spirit that have been resurrected in our own lives. One thing that the Lord keeps impressing on my heart is this almost as if He is saying: "Jenny, I will not force your hand at obedience. I have a promised land for you to operate in and bare fruit. There is much blessing in this land flowing with the milk and honey of my presence...but you must cooperate. You have a choice. You are not a puppet and I will not force you. You choose...either live for yourself now or believe me. I will be on your side or you go your own way and set yourself up in opposition to me. Which do you want?"

And I believe these words are just as applicable to us today as they were to the Israelites. One more thing before I close...if the Lord had not been on your side...where would you be? Think about it. I pray that it will cause you to praise!

Oh Lord You are our life and the length of our days. Let us hold fast to You. You are everything Lord.

Deuteronomy 30:11-20

The Offer of Life or Death

11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Towels oh towels

Since you guys are so good at helping a sister out...I have another episode. Today I grabbed a towel out of my bathroom (which I thought was my new one) and proceeded to get ready. When I picked up the towel to dry off (hoping to smell that fresh clean downy smell)...it was so smelly and just yuck...you know like a mildewed towel. Like it had been used for a couple of weeks...because it had. Yuck, yuck, yuck I screamed...this must be Rod's towel. Through the course of the last 2 weeks of Morgan being in the hospital and me being sick I never changed his towel out. He is like clockwork on his morning routine and usually hangs his towel over the shower door so I never dreamed of the mix up LOL!! So how long is to long to keep a towel before washing it? What do you think? You won't be judged if you keep yours to long :).

ps I would like to spank the 9 people who voted that they could see me driving in a van. Thank the Lord that it is anonymous. kidding

God Running

I seriously can hardly type with that praise mix on my cd. Me and Morgan seem to keep busting out into some praise...seriously! What was I thinking?

(I have included Luke 15 of the Prodigal son at the bottom for you to read...so this looks longer than it is)

I am so moved this morning with a passage that is so familiar. I think if Jesus walked this earth today He would tell so many that He is so sorry for the way He has been misrepresented by parents, preachers, or Sunday school teachers...whoever. I think He would take some of our faces in His hands and look into our eyes and say child, I don't know who gave you this idea about me...but it wasn't from me. It wasn't the heart of God. I am so sorry that you believed this lie. This is me saying this but I do believe that we have some really distorted views of who God is that are not based on His word. If you know me well you are sick of me saying this: The word of God has to be THE Authority in your life. It has to be where you go to find out about who God is and where you go to get nourishment for your weary soul. It has to be what shatters the faulty views of Him that you've had. He is truth and He is the word, the word made flesh to dwell among us. So many people have the idea that God is the great killjoy. That He just wants you to live a stifled, miserable life. Nothing could be further from the truth. No, we will not be absent from hardship on planet earth, I am not saying that. He truly is the greatest joy and blast of my life and listen when I say I would be nothing without Him. I truly sit here crying as I think of what He means to me. I was recalling this morning how it has only been about a decade of walking closely with Him and the road has been filled with plenty of victories and defeats, pride and humbling, love and grace, mercy and forgiveness, and so much learning...ever learning. I am changing and the fad that people thought I was in to "for a while" has not faded but only grown hotter. I read this with fresh affection this morning and for several reasons. I have come from so much brokenness in my life that I was really an accident waiting to happen and perfect prey for the enemy to pounce on. Well, once I came to the Lord and sought Him through His word, everything didn't just clean up overnight. What had been instilled in me for years and lies that I had believed for almost decades were not going to go away overnight. We put a lot of expectations on believers don't we? We think man why aren't they perfect, when we judge them for things that we think we don't do. Well, I have been the one to sin against my loving Father like the prodigal son. Many of you were raised in loving homes and can relate to the son. Some of you can relate to the other brother. Either way...please try to relate. The son is raised in a loving home (God is the Father in the parable) and the son obviously feels like he is missing out on something. Isn't it true of all of us? If you weren't raised in a loving home can you relate to coming to the Lord, experiencing His love and tasting that He is good and for a brief season departing to do "your will." We can be blessed in so many ways, and so loved and still feel this void and ache deep down in us for something more. Most of the time our wantonness and cravings that leave us empty are from the flesh and its lustful desires. The enemy also wants us to be discontent and believe the ancient lie that God is holding out on us. So he wants his share...his inheritance. His father (being wise) gives it to his foolish son. One thing I learned a long time ago and I pray for it to stick is that sometimes people have to learn on their own even if it means a lot of hardship on their part. So he takes his inheritance (which reminds me of Esau selling his inheritance for a bowl of stew. Inheritance meant a lot to Hebrew boys yet these two obviously considered it of little value) and he squanders it on wild living.
The word for wild used in Luke 15 is Asotos meaning he squandered his inheritance on "profligate, wasteful, extravagant" living. "Wastefully, extravagantly, with dissipation. This adverb means to live with wasteful abandon, act with immoderation or unbridled excess, in regard to either personal resources or moral standards. Describes the "wild living" or playboy lifestyle of the prodigal son."
So he sets out and lives a playboy lifestyle of extravagance and waste if you get the picture. He spends EVERYTHING no thought to the future he was living to gratify himself now. That is exactly what the enemy comes alongside us with. The problem is when we quit abiding in Him (which yes firm believers can stop abiding...we are told "take heed you stand lest you fall" none of us are beyond slipping into a pit of destruction if aren't deliberate) we remove His protection from us. I believe that if we are saved we are saved but we can lose the blessed protection that comes from obedience. The Lord is not going to bless our disobedience. He lovingly chastises His children (Heb 12) otherwise we are illegitimate. So he spends it all a famine comes and he begins to be in need (vs 14). So he hires himself out to a citizen of that country and you know the story he is sent to feed the pigs. Pigs were unclean in the Jewish home that he grew up in yet he longed to "fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything." (vs 16) Looking for a hand out huh? Anyway, I love verse 17 it says "When he came to his senses." I was thinking about sin this morning and how progressive it is. You allow a little and it becomes a lot (Gal 5:9). Just like Adam and Eve we to start out looking at our current state, questioning God's goodness in the situation, thinking he is holding out on us and then we might take of the fruit. Sin looks so good at first. It doesn't come dressed as a little red man with a pitch fork. It is whatever will ruin us...that is what the enemy is after. So, we get this euphoria over whatever the thing is and then our eyes are opened and we are naked and ashamed like Adam and Eve. We realize if it is after the fact that the Lord was true and that what we thought would fill us cheated us. We feel dirty, used, and moreover ashamed that we would have left our Father. So the son calculates his father's men that have food to eat and he decides what he will say to his father because he is going to return to him. Then the most famous verse:
20So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

God in this picture runs to him. Listen whoever you are...go back to the Father. You have not blown it to the point that He won't receive you. Get up and head back to Him. This is our Father's heart. He runs toward the repentant. He runs to you when you return to Him. He will have mercy on you. Yes there are consequences but will you let Him redeem even your past sin and use it to serve the body of Christ? You are not done because of what you have done. Do you still have breath? No matter how you feel get up and return. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to You. I pictured myself this morning: undeserving, hungry, empty, dirty, lice infested, spent, used, clothes torn, coming home to face the loving Father that I had left (like the prodigal son). I pictured how I would feel and my fear and shame and yet hear God comes running to me, receiving me, kissing me, and throwing a feast. Unworthy. Utterly unworthy. That is grace. That is a lesson forever learned and hopefully the famine that his soul experienced and that mine has as well, will keep me from ever heading off to that distant country again.
Then, the other brother. Can you imagine how he felt? We all miss the mark and don't deserve his grace. But this guy reminds me of how we can get when we start to feel like we have got our act together and that we may be a little better and more deserving than others. I can totally hear his tone of voice when he says:

28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

We as the church have got to welcome the broken and repentant regardless of what we have done or have not done. It is not by works that we are saved and we have to entrust ourselves to the One who judges righteously. Let's pray not to be the other brother. Christ came to save sinners.

Mark 2:17
On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Don't waste any more time in self loathing if that is you...return to the Father. He longs for you to come and stay by His side. There you are safe and will find rest for your soul. Also, if you have a loved one who is prodigal please pray for them and we will rejoice when they come home.

Luke 15:11-31

The Parable of the Lost Son

11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.^[b]'

22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

Little Red Corvette...I mean (blue cough cough) Corsica

I had turned sixteen but it would be about five months before I would get my first car. I had dreamed of this day. I was sure I was going to be able to get a Camaro or Firebird something really cool that all of the other 16 year old kids were driving (but had no business driving). Then the blessed day arrives when my dad pulls in the driveway with this little beauty. I managed to find a picture of her on another website. Just take a minute and drink it in. NO OFFENSE to anyone with a Corsica this just wasn't my dream.




When he gave me the keys I didn't know whether to be happy or to cry. Before you think...what a spoiled brat... I had to pay for every dime of that car (so I was at least hoping for a say in the matter). So, old blue got me to my first job and back at the local K-Mart and to school and an occasional unapproved trip on the great interstate to the mall. She even used to stall out while I was driving when it was cold. That was really fun. The air conditioner quit working the day I got Betsy. That was the hardest $3000 I have ever worked for (plus gas and insurance...gas was .99 cents a gallon then and I thought that was a lot).
Maybe this is where I get my van issues (see previous post). :)
I have some really meaningful things to blog about but just not in this post. So did anyone else have a great first car like me?

Please feel free to chime in and vote in my poll on the side bar

ROD WANTS ME TO GET A MINIVAN. No offense to anyone who has one...but I do not want to drive a minivan. I would rather have my old honda accord back from before I married him. This may officially push us into divorce court (I am kidding) but I am looking for it in the bible Jenny Chapter 1 vs 1 "If husband wants you to drive a minivan you may issue him a certificate of divorce." If you find that let me know. He thinks it is more economical for when we take trips. Well, that is great but we have not taken many trips in the last almost 5 years. Then, he says that it will be better to cart Morgan's friends around...well ok but she is 2 so we have a few years to go on that as well. The next thing he says is gas. I understand that but I would rather have a 4 door C-A-R. What are your thoughts? He thinks I am just being vain but I really just don't want a van. If you have a van do you think the gas mileage is all that better? I could understand if we had more than one child but I think a van is a bit ridiculous for one kid. That is just my opinion. I am not bitter or anything. :)


***Edited to add I currently drive a Toyota 4runner. so i have room now. Rod just wants the van. :)

I woke up this morning and my severe headache was gone! I am so thankful. I know it was because of prayer. Thank you for praying. Here is a sketch of me and morgan in the backyard. :)
*Edited to add the sketch is from facebook-cool though!

update

You guys are so sweet with all of your comments. I am still feeling sick I have a nasty headache and I feel like my body was run over by an 18 wheeler but I have this little cutie to keep up with. I did lose weight which is the only benefit to being sick. :)


This is a something that is out of James MacDonald's weekly walk in the word but he shared this in "Gripped By the Greatness of God" and it is so good!

A New Look at Forgiveness
I have a confession to make. For most of my ministry, I’ve taught a specific passage of Scripture out of context. In fact, I see now that I missed the big picture. Read Isaiah 55:8-9:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
I’ve always believed this passage taught that God is not like us; God is bigger than us. Even though that’s true, that’s not the primary point. The context begs us to ask, “In what way are God’s thoughts bigger than our thoughts?” Answer: when He forgives.
God’s like, “Let’s compare. When people sin against you, your way of handling it is completely different than how I handle it when people sin against Me.”
Correct me if I’m wrong, but here’s how we measure forgiveness:
Flip a couple more pages in the Bible and people are still choosing.
We think who. Who should we forgive? “She did this and I don’t know if I can forgive her.” We question if the person is worthy of our forgiveness.
We think how much. We measure the things on our list. We say, “I can forgive that-no problem” to some and “I could never forgive that” to others.
We think how often. How’s that saying go? “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” We’re like, “Nobody’s going to do that to me again!
Everything we think about forgiveness is measured with our little yardsticks. I wonder if God shakes His head and says, “Your thoughts are so little. Look at me and get the bigger picture.
We can’t conceive of God’s boundaries on forgiveness. They’re so much bigger than we can get into our heads. Since all of our sin is ultimately against God, imagine all the times He has chosen to forgive. Isaiah is right-as high as the heavens are above the earth... and then double it... and again, ad infinitum.
This is all great in theory, but now I’m going to meddle. Are you thinking, “God could never forgive my thing? If I ever really brought my sin before the Lord, He would turn His back. I’m just going to have to carry this one myself because He’s just not merciful enough to forgive me.” My friend, you are so wrong! God’s forgiveness is not like our forgiveness. It’s higher and greater and available upon request. God can completely pardon but you must make the choice to ask for and receive His forgiveness.

Y'all

I really thought that whatever Morgan had was limited to her but here I type...I am so sick throwing up. Please pray that this will go fast and not get to Rod. Thank you so much.

Dressed and Ready

The other afternoon I was getting ready to go to work and I had an idea come over me. Sometimes I will ask Rod if something looks okay (hair, outfit, makeup) and he most ALWAYS tells me yes. He even tells me yes when he has not even looked at me. So, I decided to do nothing to my hair and see if he would say it looked okay. Just to test him if he was really honest or not because I was sure it was awful. Well, to put it nicely my hair looks like this poor troll before I began to call on help from the Most High. He sends aid in the form of a ceramic flat iron and some anti-frizz plus flat ironing spray. Don't you think this little Roman troll is cute? I thought it was the most biblical troll...LOL! Anyway, I came downstairs looking like a troll...and asked him if he thought my hair looked okay. No!!!, he said you might want to go upstairs and fix it some more. The Hallelujah chorus began to go off in my head. He didn't tell me that it looked good...Praise the Lord...I got some honesty! I am used to having sisters that would tell me honestly what they thought. I don't want flattery from him either if my latest fashion statement or hairdo is something like Medusa.

This brings me to another point. I have always kept a journal and voiced most of my prayers to the Lord in my journal over the years but the Lord has impressed it on me to really get on my face and just pour out my heart to Him each day. I got on my face in my heart at the hospital because i knew the Lord would understand me not getting on that hospital floor (yuck). So, I feel like in the last year that I just got lax in certain areas. When I come before the Lord I just have to get honest and quit with the churchy pretense since He sees everything bare and exposed anyway there is no point in trying to lie to Him. I've had to get honest before the Lord and acknowledge that I am not doing all that I can in my community or church to really serve the Lord at my best. I guess I just have felt lost in the shuffle since I have not been teaching Sunday school...its been more of a well where do you want me to serve you that will most glorify you Lord...kind of question. If we are not focused we will scurry to and fro serving in places that we are not called to serve. But I really know that I have not been focused in the areas that I have been called to make a difference in for such a time as this. The Lord wants us to be willing to do the "whatever" that He calls us to. He wants us to live out Phil. 2 and in humility consider others better than ourselves...which is only possible when our gaze is on Him. He doesn't want us caught up in being so focused on a ministry that we don't focus on Him. I am convinced that God is a God of using us out of the overflow. When we make it our goal to love Him and fix our ever wandering hearts on Him...He will use us alright. We so often get our sights on what a BIG ministry we want that we forfeit the blessing of the servitude that comes from washing others feet. The joy that can come from dropping a note of encouragement in the mail, taking someone to a doctors appointment, cleaning someones house, going to a homeless shelter. It is so easy to get caught up in ourselves that we truly become so full of ourselves that we don't think of the needs around us.

The other morning a lady came to the door to solicit something and I still had my jammies on. To my credit Morgan had stayed up VERY late the night before. Anyway, I had just finished reading the following verses:

Luke 12:37-39

37It will be good for those servants whose master finds them watching when he comes. I tell you the truth, he will dress himself to serve, will have them recline at the table and will come and wait on them. 38It will be good for those servants whose master finds them ready, even if he comes in the second or third watch of the night. 39But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into.

When my Master (Christ) returns either to call to meet Him in the air (1 Thess. 4) or to call me home...I want to be dressed and ready. I was not dressed and ready physically speaking to open the door (I did anyway). I don't want Him to come and find me sleeping...just passing the time here on earth. I don't mean rest...but slacking in my service to Him. I want to guard what has been entrusted to me and get some focus. I want to be able to love others with a supernatural love that gives me tenacity to keep after the goal for which I am here. I want to love the LORD with all of my heart and have no divided loyalties. I don't want to get off the path of righteousness and take any more trips to the pit. I really want to live for Him and I know that you do to.

Life can be so hard and sometimes I want to give up. That is not what the Lord wants. He calls us to be strong and courageous with the strength that He imparts to us as we come and bring our souls to be filled by Him and His word. His word will have to be the bread that we live on or we will always be hungry with a voracious appetite that can not be satisfied with this world.

Another thing the Lord challenged me on was to stop focusing so much on circumstances and to focus on the One who has numbered my days and knows every hair on my head. He spoke things into existence and He is in control of my life and yours ordering our steps and even using our past to shape us and use us for His good purpose. If my focus is on Him it will drastically change my view on things. If my focus is on my circumstances I am discouraged and controlled by those circumstances but with my focus on Him I have peace and can function.

So when your heart grows faint or weary cry out to God. He will lead you to the ROCK which is higher than you and your circumstances and set your feet upon the Rock above the flood that seeks to assail you.

Psalm 61:1-3

1 Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.

Psalm 84:2

2 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God

We are Home

We are home from the hospital! Give Him some praise! I can't wait to share some things that the Lord did for me! Until then here are some more pictures and thanks so much for the prayers!!

Believe it or not I do clean the television but Morgan puts her hands all over it. Anyway, check out her heels. It is hard being a girl!!


her trying to walk in her hills


cutie!


Me and my buddy Mr. Jim!

Morgan and friends!