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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Not so happy birthday

My thoughts are on the Christ child tonight.
He was fully God... and He is and was so Worthy...yet there was no room for Him in the inn. The world tells us that we deserve this and that...but didn't He? Yet He came in that exact way to relate to sinful us. Philippians 2 always reminds me of His goal...fully God...fully man...yet He did not consider equality with God to be grasped. The godhead bodily...so worthy...came to save the world...yet so other...so not of this world. How I praise Him for that. Not to bore you to death but I really didn't have a good birthday. I wish I could sugar coat it but I am not one to be fake. It was kind of depressing and I cried several times. I think I am just worn out and maybe I expected a few people closest to me to care...and they didn't. I wish I could tell you that I focused on the good things today like Phil 4 says...but no I pretty much felt sorry for myself.

I think more than anything I can say I am so thankful for Him reaching down to pull me out of deep waters and save me. I am so thankful for the focus that this is not my home. I am just passing through. I am afraid that if I lived for just this life that I would have completely self-destructed from expectations that went unmet. These words came to my heart today:
Psalm 39:4-6
4 "Show me, O LORD, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.
Selah

6 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.


I will say that one thing that really hit home with me as I laid there holding my little girl I thought about how the things that mean the most to me I could not buy. Just like my salvation. I was bought at a price. You were bought at a price. I love the following verses because they speak volumes to me about the people who should love you the most...that even when they don't...the Lord will not forsake His children. That is so real to me. This life can be so lonely at times...but still I am blessed and I praise Him for my sisters in Christ tonight.

Isaiah 49:15-16
15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!

16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me.



Psalm 27
10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.


oh and I tried to come up with some interesting things about me...but I can't come up with 28 things. LOL!

Thank you for all of your sweet comments!

I did ask the Lord for some specific gifts today since He is in control of all...I figured why not!

I asked Him for more of His Spirit and more wisdom and supernatural love for others today. I prayed that my life would be an offering.

Morgan is going crazy...gotta go!

16 comments:

Profbaugh said...

Jenny,

Although you didn't have the birthday you wanted or even deserved, you still manage to stay focused on Kingdom things. You, my dear are truly a woman after His own heart!!

May He surprise you during the next week as you encounter Him in new and different ways.

~Cheryl

Alana said...

Hi Jenny,

I popped over from Bev's blog and thought I would wish you a belated happy birthday!

I had a birthday like that last year. Just wasn't what I hoped it would be.

Maybe you could call some girlfriends and have a girls night out!

He Knows My Name said...

jenny, i am so sorry to hear about your birthday. i have had my share (more than i want to remember) of special moment expectations that were not fulfilled and sent me reeling. i want you to know i esteem you and so do these blog sisters. you have lifted me up in prayer many times and taken time to let me rant and opened yourself up just to give me hope that our God can do anything. YOU ARE LOVED MUCH.

I have praying God's word and the book mark was freshly placed on page 93 overcoming feeling unloved. this is what i read...O God, though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet Your unfailing love for me will not be shaken nor Your covenant of peace be removed. You are the Lord who has compassion on me (Isa.54:10)

You, O God, will never leave me. Never will You forsake me. (Heb13:5) You are the only absolute guarantee I have in all of life. Help me cling to the one thing I can never lose. pg. 209

hugs ~janel

Susan said...

Dear Sweet Jenny.

I could hug you forever. I am crying for you this morning because you ARE loved. You are right...loved by God, but also by me. I love your ability to not be fake. I love how you want so much for your sweet little girl to know she is loved and honored and adored. You are, too, Jenny. I pray today that you see past the unfulfilled expectations of a birth day and know that you are treasured. Here on earth as well as in heaven.
Love you!
Susan

Susan said...

P.S. When you have a minute..please e-mail me your home address.
Hugs and blessings....

Leigh said...

Jenny,

I am so sorry that your birthday was not a happy one. I too can relate. When I am down there is nothing like my girlfriends to take me to supper (or at someone's house). I hope that you can do that.

"Now may the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace in beleiveing, that you may abound in hope by the power if the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Know that we are celebrating with you and our prayers are with you.
Peace and Happiness!

Fran said...

Jenny,

I'm praying for you on this Wednesday morning. "May the God of hope (because you are Jennyhope)fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Praying joy, peace and hope for you today. And, if i was there, we would have ate so much birthday cake and sang that song soooooo many times. :)

Love ya~
Fran

Alissa said...

Jenny,
I am so sorry that you had a bad birthday and you were not shown the love by those around you that you wanted and needed.

You are a special woman of God and please know that many of us love you and you have been an inspiration. You have made me smile, laugh and cry through your honesty and your love of God.

Stay strong my friend and know that we all love you!

HisTreasuredPossession said...

Hi Jenny! Sojourning with you in the not so great birthdays this year. Mine was on the 11th and everything I had planned and hoped to do got cancelled b/c of an ice storm. But I also tried to look at the "bright" side - I so hear you on the things that matter most you cannot buy! I too desire more of Him, of His Spirit and the wisdom that will help me live this life successfully. Keep up at it, siesta. Your Daddy is proud!

pinkmommy said...

I am so sorry your birthday was not a good day. If I could, I would come and pick you up and take you out for a girl's night!

Instead, I will pray today is better.

Charity said...

Hey girl, I am so sorry that your birthday didn't turn out like you wanted. I know how you feel. My birthday was in October. I also tend to have high expectations that don't get met! I think that might mean that we are optimistic!! Ha!
You are such a sweet sister! I thank God for you and what you mean to me!! Sounds like you are keeping your eye on the real prize!! I wish I could take you out for lunch or something to celebrate!! Maybe one day!!

Suzi said...

Happy belated birthday!!! Sorry it didn't meet up to your expectations! That stinks! I like Alanas advice...go have a girls night out!!!
How is Morgan doing?
Love,
Suzi

twinkle said...

Oh, Jenny. For your birthday, I would fly us both to Texas and we would meet up with our siesta, Beth at the best Tex-Mex restaurant in Houston. After we ate until our sides hurt, we would visit Beth's church and she would get up and give a special message just for you. After she finished, Travis would come out and sing In Christ Alone, just for you. And then we would get coffee and cupcakes in the coffeehouse at Beth's church. Later, we would drive up to the Hill Country and explore the small town of Fredricksburg with Beth and Keith. And we would end the day with Keith praying over you a special blessing.
God loves you so much. You are a mighty woman of faith and you bless me so much. May Jesus give you a special gift this week that makes you feel peace and joy.
Love and hugs,
Twinkle

He Knows My Name said...

just sitting here exhausted from shopping all day and eating some stale cornflakes with banana.

i bought a thinline niv. don't care for it, it's going back, then i bought the quest/niv, don't care for it, comments are too surfacy that may lead him to not think on his own like why did God creat man if He knew he would sin. that is just too deep to answer in a few paragraphs. i don't want him to read just the commentary part and not the scripture. our stores are basically all sold out. i'm looking for a study bible tomorrow with an nice cover. all the ones i have found are hard bound... anyway

i am smiling so hard!!! twinkle now she IS the ultimate birthday planner...just let it be said I want to come to that party (and so does everyone on this blog) and maybe just maybe if we both get to san antonio we WILL party. you are awesome. AND DON'T FORGET IT!

~janel

He Knows My Name said...

yes life application (i've only found hard cover) if i can find a leather bonded that would be great or maybe ryre study they have tons of giant print but no regular print. i'm going to backtrack tomorrow...i shouldn't have waited soooo long. i looked at the message and that is a no too.

He Knows My Name said...

thanks, no to living translation, key word sounds good for me, i'll have to check that one out...i surfing cbd's web site right now. thanks much.