I am soooo tired but I wanted to post about some stuff while I have a moment of silence. Morg. (a.k.a. baby in the bunny blanket by Bev) and I had a good weekend. Rod went hunting on Thursday so it was just me and the sweetie for a few days. Saturday we went to the lake and spent the afternoon with Rods mom and sister. Rod's sister cut my hair (she is a professional btw) and it was free! Praise the Lord! Then, she taught me how to make homemade lasagna. I am a late bloomer when it comes to that dish. I felt like I was at a restaurant...only it was free. She amazed me with her ability to just whip up a lasagna real fast. Also, I am not sure why...but everyone seems to make better salad than me. Morgan ate the snot out of some salad. They are such precious people and I am blessed to have them in my life. Okay...then this morning I got up and got morg a bath and dressed her for church. I felt burdened this morning to stay home and spend time with the Lord where I could actually hear from Him in silence. I needed it badly. I don't like to miss church but I did today. I had some stuff on my heart along with some anxiety that needed to be dealt with. As I was reading this morning and going through specific verses about fear I began to think about why I was anxious. I really believe the answer is that I get anxious due to fear. The Lord really spoke courage in my heart as I sought His help this morning in my situation. I was reading this in Psalm 91:9-10
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
I can't stand when people tell me the Old Testament is the old covenant and so they sort of just dismiss it. No, we can't apply everything to our life from the OT but God sure means to teach us and speak to us about who HE is from the Old Testament. DON'T GET ME STARTED! How would we see the holiness of God, the fact that no sacrifice was good enough for our sins, the anger and wrath over sin, the affection that God has for His people, the providence, the mercy, the depth of human emotion that comes from the Psalms....how could we even begin to grapple with any of this without the Old Testament? 1 Corinthians 10:6 says that
6Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did.
So, I am done with my OT tangent. The Old Testament is RELEVANT. I can't even tell you what it means to me to be able to open up God's holy word and relate to men like David...who loved God with a passion and yet fell into sin...and after all was said and done he was called a man after God's own heart. I love to see Moses and how God, in His providence and in spite of all odds, molded him to be the one who would lead the Israelites out of slavery. I have got to know these truths down in my core and I have got to know for myself that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Especially when in my own life I have sinned so grievously against my Father. He didn't resist the repentant then and He won't now. OK take a breath Jenny. Back to psalm 91...in prayer today I acknowledged that I had seriously been trying to take matters in my own hands and fight my own battle with carnal weapons. Those verses popped out to me because God usually gave a command with a promise...in those verses He said that if He would be our dwelling place then no harm would befall them. For application I felt like the Lord was trying to show me to hide myself in Him, to lean on Him, run to Him, rest in Him, and let Him take care of my enemies through abiding in Him. When I attempt to fight my own battle with pride, I lose, and I do a lot of damage to myself and others. If I am wronged or if someone is mistreating me...I need to go to Him in prayer before I attempt to lash out, control, or try to fix things.
Real quick...my bible has been falling open to James and here is something I needed to be reminded of:
James 1: 19-20
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
The word for slow in this passage is the word Bradys (which is also a latin word...go Jenny!! I got that from my medical transcription...LOL) it means "slow. It stands in contrast to tachys swift quick. (1) Reluctant, dull, unresponsive (2) cautious, deliberate, not in knee-jerk, reactionary fashion.
This may be a word for you if you are good at fighting back and reacting in the flesh. I got the message loud and clear this morning and I want it to stick. If I will hide myself in Him, let Him fight my battles, and not react with some knee-jerk reaction...He will protect me. When I choose to go on my own in disobedience He will remove that protection from me because He sets Himself against the proud. I will set myself in opposition to THE LORD...when I choose to handle things my way. By His commands we are warned...I love these verses which explain what I am trying to say:
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.
10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
I will continue to live in a state of anxiety and oppression when I continually fend for myself instead of waiting on God to act.
So, this brings me to a passage I have been thinking about so much involving Hannah...but so I don't bore you to death I will break it up into another post. =)