Saturday, February 2, 2008

So, I had a bad day...

Psalm 71:19-21
19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.

Just for the sake of being real...I am having a really bad day. I know what I need to do but can't seem to do it today. I need to cast all of my anxieties on the Lord and when I get a minute with my two year old...maybe I can do just that. I am so disappointed about so many things. I have been folding laundry today wondering if life is going to get any better than this??? I have even been tempted to want to punch the wall or something...or maybe even throw that would make it better. I am sick of the selfish (suck my will to live) people in my life. When will I be content? When will I not let trials, or people, or pretense get to me? I want the Lord to be ENOUGH. Things seem so mundane and I know I need to get my fix on things above. I feel like life has been one constant trial for so many years...and I want to be OK if that never changes. Rod and I are constantly at each other which makes doing life all the more fun. I want to be more obedient to the Lord, more yielded...and I find my soul warring to do what I want. I desperately want to believe God and be humble before Him and not have to wander in some desert of disobedience, wasting my years here. I want to just get on with it...and on so many days I just long to be in the arms of my Saviour. I just get tired here. I get sick of the sameness. I am tired of the enemy...and tired of myself. I woke up with a feeling of heaviness this morning and I just want it gone. I don't need any advice or for anyone to feel sorry for me...I am just wondering if I AM THE ONLY one who ever feels this way!! Also, I am tired of caring about what others think...I have spent too much time in rooms filled with facades and people who are fake (I'm not saying everyone is fake either). It makes me nauseas. I need some stinking mountains to move...because I am sick of them being in my way! I am tired of feeling like I am some hamster on a wheel stuck in a rut. God please show up in the dailiness of my life before I explode. I need a break for my soul. It has been so long since I have just been able to retreat. Rod hunts and gets to spend A LOT of time in the woods on a mental vacation...I guess I need something like that. Time away from all the noise for the Lord to restore my soul. I imagine that I am not the only one.

I am sure my outlook will be different tomorrow =)


NYC said...

I had a bad day yesterday.... I completely understand the pain and frustration of the type of day and feelings you expressed in this post. It is sometimes difficult to keep focused on Him; like you, I let my worries overwhelm me, choosing instead to walk by sight, not faith. Stepping back and finding a quiet place to read the scriptures sound like a great plan, a way to take the focus off the here and now and onto heaven.

I will be praying for you!

twinkle said...

Jenny, want to come hunting here in GA?

twinkle said...

Will Rod be mad if you don't come home with a deer? You just name the day and we'll do it!

jennyhope said...

lol! my day has already gotten better! twinkle you crack me up! I seriously would love that! =)

Little Steps Of Faith said...

Oh my dear friend...How we have shared such wonderful times this week:)
I spent the day 4 hrs putting together the outreach boxes for the celebration tomorrow, we had 1500 boxes to put together and oh about 7 people getting it together...yea.
I do hope your day gets better for you:) It will, let God be the glory:)
Anyway, if you could say a good prayer for tomorrow, that would be fab; I am so excited about it, and yet this infection I have that hasn't gone away is still sucking life out of prayers would be great.
Anyway, I started writing you an email a little bit ago, and haven't finished...story of my life:)
Love ya girlie:)

Tam said...

Girl, you are NOT alone!

Just wanted to say that...I can echo this post many times...

Glad your day turned around though!

Love you!

Charity said...

Sweet Jenny, you are NOT the only one who feels that way! I can completely understand your thoughts more than you know!!! Hang in there! I will be praying for you.

I am here for you if need me!


jennyhope said...

you guys are so sweet. i am really better now. that post was a culmination of A LOT of things. anyway, I just crack up at all of the emotions I can go through in one day! LOL
I love you all!

Amy said...

Just a little encouragement:

If it weren't for your friendship I wouldn't know Jesus the way I do. You discipled me and showed me what it was to have a heart for God, to run to Him and to know I can hide under His wing. Through all of this you are doing the same for many women just like me. Love you!

I am glad your day got better :-)

Super B's Mom said...

You are not alone!! I find myself doing this too - so overwhelmed by daily life that I feel like I'm going to scream. But God understands that and I don't think he minds when we need to VENT! He is our Best Friend, after all.

I pray that your day today is wonderful.

Bev Brandon said...

I love your heart Jen that feels things so deeply and deals with the present moment. We're all curved in on ourselves and it's so easy to do with being "missed" by the people we love. What I love about you is that you push through and find God even in this for you are always searching for HIM. And He is showing up cause He is on the move in Jenny Hope's life!!!

Kim S said...

So strange but I had all these smae feelings today...and it made me feel so much better to see that you have them, too! You are such an encouragement to me and I love you dearly!

BethAnne said...

You are NOT the only one who feels that way. We all have days where we fell pressed down. Unfortunately that is a characteristic of this sinful world we live in. I pray you are better today and I pray that instead of being pressed down you will be pressed into your Heavenly Father. This life is HARD - I am so thankful that we have the hope of heaven. Look up, girl - it wont be long!

Emily said...

girl, you know I've been there! I am sorry you had a bad day, I hope the next day was better :)

pinkmommy said...

Girl, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. There are so many days that I could have written this post. Thanks for sharing.

Rachel said...

I've been having this same bad day over and over again like Groundhog Day (the movie) and it just won't go away. Jenny, I felt like everything you said in this paragraph is exactly what my thoughts have been TODAY. God knew I needed to read it because I've been wondering if I'm alone in this. Knowing I'm not, but feeling like I am. Thanks for your honesty.
I truly to "smell what you're steppin' in."