The Home Cut

To boldly go where most stay at home moms have gone before.

A home hair cut.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. When I was a young girl I never knew anything besides a home cut. My feet NEVER dawned the door of a hair salon or even a cheaper version of a hair salon you know what I am talking about the kind where the workers have just gotten out of hair school and they are practicing and a cheap price. We had a tiny house bursting with 7 people and not a ton o' funds to spare for things like hair cuts.
I loved hair even at a young age and I would dream of the perm I could get or maybe the latest cut that most of the girls had. Why couldn't my hair just turn out like the rest? I would spend hours teasing my hair (the bad ideas of the 80's), curling it with a curling iron, crimping it, and spraying it with the cheapest hairspray (the kind that would make you smell like an old lady...Aqua net or something of the sort). But the time would always come and I would go and collect the items my mom would need to cut my hair: the kitchen scissors, old newspaper for the floor, a wooden chair, and a big trash bag to serve as a smock.

Then... she would cut. Nervously, I would wait and hope that for the love of all things...it just may turn out. My twin sister, bless her heart, had some major naturally curly hair so she just got hers whacked in the shape of a nest or bush or something. Bless her. My mom would survey her masterpiece after the hour or so of cutting and ask me if I liked it. Sometimes I did...and other times I wanted to run away and cry. She would always ask me if anyone liked my hair at school the next day. She did what she could.

One dreaded day my dad said he would do the honors of cutting my hair. It was my fourth grade year...a year of crucial importance in the life of a nine year old. If I were ever going to be popular...I had to have the right cut. That was my fourth grade line of thinking. I think the Lord used my bad cuts to keep me humble.
So you should be able to trust your mom and dad right, even with your hair?? That is where my naive thinking got me into trouble. This time we go out on the back deck (I will never forget) and with a comb he combs down to the top of my ear lobe (I had long hair) and whacks a section of my hair off. The whole world stopped as I cried out and ran to my room and cried for what may have been hours and my sisters made fun of the damage that was done. He would NEVER touch my hair again. For the rest of my fourth grade year I had to pin that side of my hair up in a clip. How was I ever going to be cool. It left a mark on my soul that still brings up terror to my mind...maybe it is a place that I need to seek healing over. I AM KIDDING.
As soon as I was old enough to work I went to a Salon and the days of home cuts were far behind me. So, I swore I would never give my kids the home cut. NEVER...

Well guess what? Morgans hair was getting so long that I was afraid people might think we were strangely religious and that we didn't believe in cutting hair (no offense anyone). So in a moment of desperation I went for the scissors and I prayed. Lord please go with me and make my hands (that have never dawned hair school) skilled like that of a great beautician.

God love her.

I went with trembling and sought to get my two year old to be still. Then I grabbed the back of her hair and studied the situation. I decided there was nothing I could do but grab it all as one piece, close my eyes, and cut. I cut about an inch and a half off and I don't recommend my cutting method. I had to trim it up while I let her pour a bottle of baby lotion all over her legs and while she shoved toothbrushes down the sink drain...anything to keep her busy. At one point she cried and said "I'm a good girl". I didn't understand why until I realized I actually nipped a little bit of skin on her back with the fancy scissors. I was so sorry. I vowed that I would not traumatize her again by the home cut.
Next time we will be going to the salon. It turned out O.K. but she has her hair in pigtails so I don't have to have anxiety over wondering if it is really straight or not in the back...but I think it is. She looks a little bit more like my baby girl...not so grown up with all the long hair.

Eccl. 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

Buttprints in the Sand

Don't get on to me if you don't think this is funny I was just remembering it from a beach retreat back in 01 and it is kind of humorous! =)

Buttprints in the Sand

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some strange prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
Those prints are large and round and neat,
"But Lord, they are too big for feet."

"My child," He said in somber tones,
"For miles I carried you along.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt."

"Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

-- author unknown

I forgot to add this

Morgan is talking so much more lately (she has had a delay in speech...I call it stubborn). We have really been working on the word BOSS as far as her need to acknowledge that even though she is 2 1/2 that she is not the boss. I am the boss. Today she pointed to me and said Boss! That's right and maybe some of us need to acknowledge that we aren't the boss of our lives...God is...and we need to submit to Him. No one has our best interest in mind like He does.

I'm still here

I want to run the race.
I want to finish strong.
I want to forget what is behind.
I want to press on.
I want to wear His banner over me
the banner of love...not the banner of shame over my past.
I want to fix my eyes on Jesus and throw off the sin that so easily entangles.
I want to believe God.
I want to love Him with all of my heart...withholding nothing from Him.
I want to KNOW him and the love that surpasses KNOWLEDGE.
I want to help snatch others from the flames.
I want to cast crowns at the feet of the One who is worthy.
I want to finish strong in the arms of my Heavenly Groom and glory in Him forever.
May it be said of you and me that this world was not worthy of us either because of our belief and faith in the One True God.

I read this on Bev's blog and it broke my heart. The world was not worthy of her sweet friend Cyd Mizell or Muhammad Hadi. I know their lives still speak and bring glory to our Father.

Hebrews 11:37-39

37They were stoned^[a]; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.

My computer has been acting crazy and I have not had much access to the Internet. I think I am back up.

Last night was our final night of Stepping Up. It was so good. My friend Amy passed out something from her church called breaking up the fallowed ground. It is a guide to repentance. I am taking it seriously because if anything is blocking me from God I want to renounce it and repent of it. I am only on the second step in the worksheet and I think it will take me a good week or so to examine myself in the way I need to (it is really a lifelong thing). I prayed last night that God would search me with the Spotlight of His Holy Spirit and the Word and that He would point out any offensive way in me. I asked Him to have His way even if He had to go back years with me that I would really be bare before Him. Hebrews 4:13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Our body is a temple and we sort of tuck things away in closets in our souls and don't deal with them...and then our junk starts to deal with us and we don't begin to know where things went awry. So maybe you to need to get alone, get some paper and a pen, and ask God to search you as well. It is time to clean house spiritually speaking for me.

Hosea 6:3

3 Let us acknowledge the LORD;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth."

Hosea 10:12
12 Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
for it is time to seek the LORD,
until he comes
and showers righteousness on you.

Guard Your Heart Above ALL Things

Proverbs 4:23 AMP
Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.

NIV
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.

Do you remember the old song by Reba McIntyre and Vince Gill "The Heart Won't Lie"? Well, most of us know that is a lie. Our hearts are deceitful above all things. The things we say and do are definitely a reflection of what is in our hearts.

Proverbs 22:15 says this "15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."

Bottom line folly is bound up in each of our hearts from the time we were born. If you read the preceding verses that lead into verse 23 you will see the importance that God's word must have in our hearts if we are going to live victoriously and be sure footed. God is not a man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19) if He says something in His word He means it and He will prove right always.

I was reading in Jeremiah 5:3 this morning about how God struck Israel yet they felt no pain; He crushed them, but the refused correction. They made their faces harder than stone and refused to repent (I am paraphrasing). We can be bent on rebellion or we can set our face like flint determined to do the will of our Father (Isa 50:7 NLT). We can start choosing to believe Him and take Him at His word and live in obedience to Him.

What does it mean for me to guard my heart? The word guard is the word Nasar meaning "to guard, protect, keep, obey; to observe, behold, watch, inspect. Used to denote guarding a vinyard..., a fig tree..., and a fortress. Those who performed this function were called watchmen...In an ethical sense one can guard his mouth (Ps 141:3; Pr 13:3), his path in life (Pr 16:17), his heart (Pr 4:23), His lips (Ps 141:3), and his tongue (Ps 34:13)...Israel was likened to a vineyard and the Lord served as her keeper (Job 7:20). (Key Word Study Lexical Aids)

I would say part of guarding your heart means confession of your sins, examination of your heart, and a careful inspection of what you let in and out of your heart and mind. What you watch, where you go, who your friends are, what you listen to, what you set your affections on, and choosing obedience not based on feeling but on truth. Weeding out roots of bitterness, unforgiveness, disobedience, lust, immorality, gossip, and so many other things that seek to ensnare your heart. Knowing the truth is what will set us free from the deceitfulness of our own hearts.

Heart is the word leb here meaning "the center, the middle of something... Leb however, is more commonly used for the center of man's inner or immaterial nature...In the bible the whole spectrum of human emotions is attributed to the heart...Leb is used to signify the mind (2 Ch 9:23), good sense (Pr 10:8), and discernment (2 Ki 5:26). Wisdom and understanding reside in the heart (1 Ki 3:12, Pr 16:23). The heart can be deceived (Isa 44:20) and is the point of origin of moral evil (Jer 17:9). It is the seat of the will (Nu 16:28; Jdg 9:3; 2 Ch 12:14). To refuse to make the proper decision is to harden the heart..." (Key Word Study Lexical Aids)

So we are to guard the core of our being...the center of our emotions and our inner or immaterial nature. We do this by paying attention to His instruction (vs 20-22) that is what will keep our hearts with all diligence...the attention and application to Gods word.

Here is what The Bible Knowledge Commentary says: " The heart should be guarded for out of it ( a wellspring) come one's actions (cf. Luke 6:45). Here the word "heart" means more than mental capacity; it also encompasses one's values (cf Matt. 6:21)."

"These verses apply the command to guard one's heart (v. 23), including what one says (v. 24), sees (v. 25), and does (vv. 26-27).

So I plead with you cry out to the Lord to make you wise in your heart. Ask Him to stand at the door of your heart with the truth of His word and guard that thing. Withhold nothing from Him.


Further Reading:

1. Proverbs 16:21
   The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.
   Proverbs 16:20-22 (in Context) Proverbs 16 (Whole Chapter)
2. Proverbs 16:23
   A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction.
   Proverbs 16:22-24 (in Context) Proverbs 16 (Whole Chapter)
3. Proverbs 18:15
   The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out.
   Proverbs 18:14-16 (in Context) Proverbs 18 (Whole Chapter)
4. Proverbs 22:17
   [ Sayings of the Wise ] Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach,
   Proverbs 22:16-18 (in Context) Proverbs 22 (Whole Chapter)
5. Proverbs 23:15
   My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad;
   Proverbs 23:14-16 (in Context) Proverbs 23 (Whole Chapter)
6. Proverbs 23:19
   Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path.

I'd like to thank...

Debra's last post reminded me of something I wanted to look up! I would like to thank the Lord and madam C.J. Wlaker who invented the flat iron! I heart the madam! LOL

Also, for some more invention hair tool history CLICK HERE...because these things are important!

It's been a few days!

First things first...THANK YOU so much to everyone who has been so sweet to ask about my health and etc after my little episode last week. For some reason I have been EXTREMELY fatigued and was struggling with faintness and etc. All of my labs came back fine so I am not sure what the deal was. Anyway, I thank you for praying!

Also, I have been L-I-V-I-N-G in the old testament lately and I am so overwhelmed with some of the things that I have been seeing with my spiritual eyes that it is just too much to put into words.

I do want to share a verse that was supposedly later added by Joshua to Numbers 12:3
3 (Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.)

We have all heard that pride is the root of all sin so humility must equal friendship with God.
Miriam and Aaron were grumbling against Moe in the beginning of the passage and then in a very climatic point in the passage the Lord is going to call them all out to meet with Him because of their grumbling against Moe...see for yourself:

4 At once the LORD said to Moses, Aaron and Miriam, "Come out to the Tent of Meeting, all three of you." So the three of them came out.

Can you just imagine the LORD calling them all out to give Aaron and Miriam a holy whoopin? It just sweeps a holy fear all over me when I dare think of complaining (or worse spurring others on to grumble) against a fellow brother or sister in Christ. Not only that Moses did not defend himself with Miriam and Aaron when they complained against him. When we quit stating our own cases...God takes up our case. Who would you rather have defend you...you or God? It speaks volumes to me.

Can you just remember getting in trouble for fighting with one of your siblings and your dad (if you had a dad) calling you all out front to talk about it or for punishment? There are five kids in my family and three of us are closer in age so two of us would always gang up on one. I can so relate here to the animosity in the passage. Maybe they felt like Moses was a little too favored. Now the LORD is about to come down...eavesdrop with me:

5 Then the LORD came down in a pillar of cloud; he stood at the entrance to the Tent and summoned Aaron and Miriam. When both of them stepped forward, 6 he said, "Listen to my words:
"When a prophet of the LORD is among you,
I reveal myself to him in visions,
I speak to him in dreams.

7 But this is not true of my servant Moses;
he is faithful in all my house.

8 With him I speak face to face,
clearly and not in riddles;
he sees the form of the LORD.
Why then were you not afraid
to speak against my servant Moses?" (emphasis mine)

Think of what the desert must have done to Moses. I have shared in past posts how he was tested and tried in the desert for 40 years. How he must have surely felt forgotten and of no use and how he went from pomp and prestige in the house of Pharoah to a lowly shepherd in the desert working for his father-in-law. Then one day he encounters God and it is time for his ministry to begin of leading Gods nation of people out of bondage. He tried to lead Gods people out in his own time and in his own way and it led him into a desert where he was humbled. Even though he took matters into his own hands in killing the Egyptian...God still had use for him. He was so humble that God did not speak to him in visions and dreams...He spoke to Him face to face as one speaks to a friend (Exo 33:11).

God has called all of us to a purpose here on this earth for His glory and His kingdom agenda, and don't you just know that Moses' time in the desert "took" it gave him the humility required to be a friend of God. Some of us are busy trying to fulfill that purpose God has for us without waiting on His timing instead we begin to run ahead and kick against the goads. I read the following from Chuck Swindoll about waiting on God (and the Israelites crossing the Red Sea):

"When I panic, I run.
When I run, I lose.
When I lose, God waits.
When I wait, He fights.
When He fights, He wins.
And when He wins, I learn."

pg 225 "Moses", Chuck Swindoll

Don't we have the same temptation as Miriam and Aaron. We see God working in someone else's life and we want what they've got and we become jealous? (And please read further they were punished for their disobedience and we also reap the same consequences maybe not in the exact way but still.) Then, so often we run ahead trying to fulfill our callings without waiting on God to continue the work in us that He so desires to do. We seek position and a name instead of His glory. Our motives may start out right but if we are having to pry open doors and use marketing schemes to fulfill our callings...maybe we should take a look and make sure God's presence is going with us or if we are on our own. Scary thought. I can't tell you the times I have had to cry out for God to go with me into my day or I wasn't gonna go without Him so we could just call it a day if He wasn't going to be with me in power. (I hope you know I mean His presence of course we are sealed with the Holy Spirit in Christ)

Oh that it would be our prayer that the fear of the Lord would keep us from sinning. That we would not (I am talking about me to) continue to have jealousy and strife with our brothers and sisters in Christ and that we would not run ahead of the hand of God. Lord help us to be your humble servants, and Lord that we would be entrusted with much of You. You are so worthy of our trust. Forgive us of our pride. May it not be said that we couldn't be entrusted with You because of our pride and arrogance.

John 2:24-25
24But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. 25He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man.

Exodus 20:20
20 Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning."

another good one from walkintheword

I Want to Be Real

by Dr. James MacDonald

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Psalm 139:1-6

I don't know how else to say it: hypocrisy is very serious.

Inside we're like this; outside we're like this. The gap between what people see and what's really inside us-that's hypocrisy. It starts off as a crease between what we appear to be and what we really are. It then becomes a crack and, if neglected, it becomes a canyon between us and God.

I want my life to be different. I don't want to pose for anyone. I don't want to take up some position in my life to match anyone's expectations.

I was praying about it this week for my own life and wrote this prayer. This is for God, but I'll just share it with you to encourage you in your passion of authenticity.

I Want to Be Real

I want to be real. I don't want to force it or fake it or fix it after the fact.
I just want to be real.

I want to operate from truth, not from pressure to please or perform for people. I don't want to choose from fear of what others will think of me or of my motives. I want to choose what I know is right because it's good and because it pleases You.
Help me, God. I want to be real.

I have the information mostly. I know I'm supposed to read and pray, and I know about worship, too. I know I'm supposed to witness and work for the kingdom, and I know about loving others more than myself. Oh, yeah, I know all the stuff. I know nearly everything I'm supposed to know, and most of all I know that knowing is not enough, because it doesn't displace the denial in my heart.
Help me, God. I want to be real.

By real, I mean ready, filled with anticipation when I arrive at Your house to worship You, heartfelt worship. Yeah, that's real.

By real, I mean ready with thanks for the cascade of blessings raining down on my head in this and every moment, genuine gratitude. Yeah, that's real.

By real, I mean an easy choice of obedience to silence my demanding flesh which calls me to choose what You lovingly forbid, obedient holiness. Yeah, that's real.

By real, I mean ready to be generous to people in need, not hoarding or hiding or helping out of guilt. Yeah, giving freely and continuously. That's real for sure.

Help me God. I want to be real.

Verses to Ponder

Romans 13:8-14 NIV

Love, for the Day is Near

8Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet,"^[a] and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."^[b] 10Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

11And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 12The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.^[c]

The dreaded YEARLY!

Dudes (not dudettes) stop reading now! Thanks =)

I had the dreaded "yearly" doctors appointment with my ob/gyn. Last night I asked Rod to pray for me about it as my nerves were already jumping. He had his hand on my head as he was praying and I was chewing my favorite gum 90 to nothing. He asked me why my head was pulsating and I told him I was chewing gum. He stopped mid prayer and said "babe stop it...that would give me a headache." I have a very addictive personality and I must chew gum. Weird I know. Quick boring story... Rod bought a pack of gum Saturday and a paper. Well, he left the gum in my car (we are so opposite on the gum choice, he likes the spicy-hot kind) and I had to fess up and tell him when I got home from meeting my friend Abby that I had chewed the whole pack. He was stunned that I chewed a whole pack of gum in a few hours. Once it loses the taste I get a new piece. OK aren't you so glad you tuned in? I really think chewing gum works out my facial muscles and burns calories. KIDDING!
My point to the story is that I am pretty intense and even chewing gum relieves some of the tension. So back to the doctor. I really have the most precious female doctor who loves Jesus and his family and his patients. I can't help but swell with emotion over the fact that I wouldn't have my precious sweetie if it weren't for the Lord using this mans skill. He is an extremely good high risk doctor. So...he comes in the room and I am shaking. He was like Jenny...you know me why are you all nervous. I seriously reached my target heart rate upon entering the office. Then, my blood pressure was way high and I always have low blood pressure (all because of the dreaded yearly). Does anyone really get used to those appointments? I had to be "checked out ;)" twice a week and almost daily on bed rest and I NEVER got used to it. Wouldn't there be something wrong if I was like WHOOOO HOOOOO my yearly...I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!?????


Also, sorry I have been out of touch with blog land lately...I have been so busy. You all are such an encouragement to me!!

oh i forgot

as a little addition to my last post...the reason why I was grumbling and complaining was because we had one crazy day today. I even had to shut myself in the bathroom and cry out for the Lord to help me before I lost my temper.

Morgan started out trying to be the boss first thing this morning. I said you need to take a bath...un uh! was her response! I informed her that I was mommy boss and she was taking a bath.

Then, she was like a little tornado through the house today. Everything she touched she messed up.

Oh BIG PRAISE she tee teed in the potty today! PTL!
So I took her up to go again and she was dressed so cute with her hair in a bow and she decided to QUICKLY grab the shampoo bottle and dump it all on her hair. So, off to take a bath again. I get her out and begin to try to get myself out of some pjs and I see her booty in the air and the vent cover off. She was eating crackers that she had stashed in the vent. So, I freak out...scream...and ask her what in the world she is doing...to which she replies..."mmmmmm"! SICK!
I leave her again to go get dressed and I hear a loud crash (this is why I don't leave her unattended for 2 minutes). I RUN in and find her whole dresser on top of my sweet two year old baby girl. She really doesn't cry much and all I could hear was...I sowry mommy, I sowry.

So, after that I was so thankful she was ok. I examined her (the dresser is very heavy) and hugged on her for a while but my nerves were shot. I am sure you all have those days though when things just spiral out of control and you feel like you may lose it. This was me. Did I miss my dish of new mercies and sufficient grace today or what? j/k!

I forgot to add the part where I had a box of mashed potato flakes fall all over my head. Morgan said uh oh mommy. LOL!!!

The Rabble

Hold the phone! I was reading in Numbers 11 this morning when this verse (or verses) stuck out like a sore thumb:

4 The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! 5 We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. 6 But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!" (emphasis mine)


Who in the world are the rabble I asked myself? This word rabble (in the NIV) is only mentioned twice in the bible and I had never heard it before. Where have I been?


Websters defines rabble as the following:
2 a: a disorganized or disorderly crowd of people

"The source of discontent is identified as "the rabble" (v. 4), referring to the foreigners who had come out of Egypt with the Israelites (Ex 12:38). Since they were not Hebrews, they had no personal attachment to God and His promises. They were tired of manna and remembered only the food which was formerly available to them in Egypt, forgetting all the reasons for fleeing. They were held in low esteem by the Israelites, but God's people allowed themselves to be influenced by their grumbling." (taken from my Key Word Study Bible)

One of my commentaries referred to the rabble as the "mixed company" that left Egypt with the Hebrew people.

I have written on the subject of forgetfulness in regards to sins slavery in the past, but I can't help but go there again when I read this passage.
First I want to share a couple of points that stood out to me:

1. We are influenced by the people around us and this world system more than we realize. The "haves" of this world greatly entice our cravings. When we decide to get our advice and satisfaction from "mixed company" we set ourselves up for discontentment and sins slavery. When I say mixed company I mean being unequally yoked and seeking advice and contentment from the ideals of the secular world around us. How many times have you seen an ad for something that you didn't know that you needed and it incited a want in you and you had to have that thing and then your affections for whatever it was that you now needed influenced your feet? In other words you had to have what someone else said you needed to be happy and you did what it took to try to achieve that momentary high. But the problem is the temporary fix that it gave you was only temporary.

2. We become like the people we hang with. Perfect example...the Hebrews were mixed in with the rabbles and the rabbles started complaining and grumbling and so did God's chosen people. Just like joy, and passion for the Lord is contagious...so is a critical complaining spirit. Grumbling and complaining is sin and yet we do it so often because we feel so justified in it. It only breeds more discontentment and negativity. What happens when we begin to grumble and complain is that we focus more on our problem than who God is. We focus on what we don't have instead of what we have been blessed with. I had someone in my life who continually spoke doubt and discouragement into my life in the area of trusting God for His provision and on two separate occasions I had to tell this person that I was not going to get on their worry train and I was going to trust God. Just like how sin permeates like yeast in a batch of dough, so does grumbling and complaining. It can breed so many consequences causing bitterness to spring up. So pull that weed out before it takes over the whole garden.
(I had a day today where I found myself griping and complaining about everything and it just made me feel miserable...not to mention probably Rod and little Morgan as well.)


Also, you see in this passage the tendency that we all have. I have been through a lot of tough things in my life. I can remember one really hard season (I am about to get generic so you can relate with your own stuff) where I had to let something go. I really thought that letting go was going to be the death of me. In some ways this thing that I had to move on from functioned as an idol for me. I began to try to find my worth in the way the whole thing panned out. The thing tore me down and I was in a constant struggle in my mind, my emotions, and I began to feel extremely low in the self-esteem department...mixed with a whole lot of anxiety over certain situations. The bottom line...I was in my own land of slavery. When I began to cooperate with God and allow Him to perform heart surgery and pry my hands off of this idol...I began to see such liberation and freedom in my life. Don't get me wrong it was mixed with pain. Later on, after I had been a couple of years removed from the whole situation I began to "forget" how enslaving the whole thing was. I even began to think oh maybe "that" would have been better when some of my situations in life went awry. I even felt at times like the path to obedience was just too hard and man so many people had it so much easier than me...what a lie. The Lord has allowed me to be marked forever with certain reminders to hopefully keep me from ever wanting to go back down to the land that He delivered me from. I would rather die than be the fool returning to my folly because His ways are best and so often I have learned that the hard way (and when I say the HARD WAY I mean every word of it...I have been on one field trip of stupidity after another but the lessons I think are now starting to stick...God is for us...always).

You know the story of the back breaking slavery, the loss of the baby boys, and that the Hebrews were in bondage. The Lord leads them out after many plagues and they had the Lord literally leading them with a cloud by day and fire by night. He was their reward, and He was their provision in the wilderness. If they needed to know where to go they just followed the cloud or the fire. The fire protected them from the deadly pestilence and met their physical needs. And I am sure the cloud provided them relief from the scorching heat. But guess what? They got mixed in with the rabbles and that was not good enough. They were now sick of the manna in other words sick of Gods kind of provision for them. They forgot their slavery and only remembered the food they had there and longed to go back. So you can read on in Numbers 11. God gave them their request. They would have so much quail it would be coming out of their ears.

Again so I don't make this too long...be wise about the company you keep. If you are in a place where you feel like life hasn't turned out like you thought...then tell Him. Ask Him for a thankful heart and more of the Spirit running over in your life. He is good and you do not have because you do not ask. Also, when the tests in life come seek to learn from them. Some of the hardest times in my life have been the best times because I literally was forced to depend on the Lord and see Him work in miraculous ways. I was not allowed to depend on my own strength or provision. Also, don't give up. No matter what you have done...no matter what has been dealt to you...keep fighting the good fight. Lets not forget where He has delivered us from and brought us to. Lets not forget what He has done for us and lets not neglect His word. That is the way in which He leads us today. He is the word made flesh. Thank you for your sweet word Lord. Don't let me be handed over to my own selfish desires. Let me live trusting and abiding in the shelter of the Most High. When I do complain help me to resist running to others but let me run to You and pour out my complaint to the One who is Safe. Give me more of Your Spirit. I am so desperate for You.

Psalm 106:13-15
13 But they soon forgot what he had done
and did not wait for his counsel.

14 In the desert they gave in to their craving;
in the wasteland they put God to the test.

15 So he gave them what they asked for,
but sent a wasting disease upon them.

Ever the manipulator

Soooooo I can remember being a little bitty girl and staying up way into the night. I really do remember that! One night when I was 3 (my mom was single and my twin sister and I shared a room while my other sister slept in my moms room..so I got away with my badness) I decided to mop the floors in the middle of the night. What? My mom found me later with the water running and an old wet t-shirt that I changed out of, asleep on the floor. I think my child must be following in my steps with the staying up. So the manipulation part:
We did flash cards (a couple hours ago) then read a book and started veggie tales. I had to fold some clothes and I went back to her room to check on her and she was out of her bed playing. Well, she saw me and started to "praise" dance. Well, of course I had to join in and I couldn't get her in trouble for praise dancing. I am a sucker.

I am just curious about something unrelated to the post.
How much do you spend (or budget to spend) in a month at the grocery store? And how many people do you have to feed in your home?

Lord, PLEASE make Morgan go to sleep. I am so tired.

And Again

It is amazing how I sometimes have to keep relearning. I read this old post I wrote a while back and the Lord used it as a big reminder to me once again.

Friday, October 19, 2007

BIG FAT Ego's

Philippians 2:2-4

2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.



I used to teach in the singles ministry at my church for almost 7 years and I can not even begin to tell you some of the stupid, no idiotic, things this girl has said or done. Since, the time I have not been teaching the Lord has done a profound work in the "humbling jenny" department. Only one of my closest friends really knows about this work in me regarding to details. The Lord has really handed me over to myself in some ways to sift things out of me that HAD TO GO! You would not believe the selfish ambition that I have had at times and y'all it is disgusting in the eyes of God. It makes Him sick when we are not unified or when we are trying to have the spot light, or make a name for ourselves. Without constant examination we all fall prey to this because of our sin nature. Anyway, I normally have a history of having to learn things the hard way and I can not even begin to explain the ways the Lord has dealt with me in the last year and a half. I have really had to question everything and my faulty views of God have been shattered to pieces (I know He will continue to show me more of the One True God...not the one that I have imagined at times based on experiences). I have learned so much about His mercy, His love, His grace, and His faithfulness. I have also learned that we reap what we sew whether for the good or the bad. I have only been walking closely with Him for the last decade and He still manages to blow me away with His mystery. Last night I was headed to my little sisters and I looked into the sky to see sheer brilliance. I saw a rainbow out of the corner of my eye and thought I would pull off the side of the road in 5 o'clock traffic to take a picture and then I felt that might not be wise since I had my 2 year old in the car. What was so interesting is that there were SOOO many dark stormy rainclouds and I thought to myself man this is just like life at times we are going through a storm and we can't see our way through the dense fog and then the Lord shoots a rainbow in the sky right near the darkness and reminds me of His covenant relationship with His people. He is constant and remains unchanged regardless of our circumstances or storms. He is God Almighty.
++I just got home from work and I had typed the first portion 7 hours ago so let me see if I can get going again.++

So on to another point Luke chapter 9 has hit me between the eyes this week. Jesus sends out the 12 to preach the good news to the Jews. Then, He miraculously feeds the 5,000,which I have blogged about earlier in the week. Christ then transfigures Himself before Peter, James, and John (can you even imagine?). He goes on in the passage to heal the boy with the evil spirit, remember he had it since he was a small child. Then a fight breaks out among the disciples as to who will be the greatest among them. Then here it is that brings me to the point of this post:
54When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, "Lord, do you
want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?"
55But Jesus turned and rebuked them, 56and they went to another village.

How like us? We walk with the Lord, we know Him, and we see Him perform miracles in our lives and the lives of others and then we start to think we are members of some elite club. Jealousy of others can set in, which is rooted in pure insecurity and we start calling down our judgments on others in the body of Christ. The Lord can not stand this attitude in us...this spirit of competition among other believers. Why? Because satan wanted to make a name for himself instead of giving glory to God. We do the same thing if our chief end is not knowing God and bringing glory to Him. Let me tell you something personal. We should use our gifts to edify the body of Christ...it is a command that has a promised blessing. But what I want to say is that sadly there came a time where I was more focused on a calling then bringing glory to Christ. I am so sorry about that (I don't think I even realized it at the time)...it grieves me now as I type this. Through the last year I have learned a lesson that I pray will take forever...I am absolutely no better than anyone else. No matter how much scripture I know, whatever greek or hebrew I have memorized, nothing makes me superior to ANYONE else...nothing. You know the verse take heed you stand lest you fall...that will put you in your place when you start trying to judge (pass judgment that is reserved for God alone) on another person. Left to our own demise, no matter how long we have walked with God, we must guard our self from the pride that seeks to entangle our feet and trip us up. I believe the disciples got really proud after all they had seen and done with Christ and then they got to a really scary place. They were ready to call down fire and destroy people. We should absolutely tremble at the thought of others spending an eternity apart from Christ and we should pray for mercy on others and not judgment. Why? Because Matthew 7 says 1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. You and I need mercy, mercy, and more mercy. So don't we want it for others. There have been times where I have felt so betrayed and I wanted to call down fire on someone else. The times I have chosen to take God at His word and come to Him with raw honesty and pray for the person who hurt me God has healed me and made me free. When I have chosen to hang on to unforgiveness the bitterness has separated me from my God and eaten me up like a cancer (Believe me when I say though that forgiveness has not been an overnight process with some things I have dealt with...it has taken a lot of praying and a lot of time in the word). To me jealousy, passing judgment, and selfish ambition really are rooted in insecurity as I said before. When I stop and think it through with the Lord I have not wanted others to get in on what I had going with Jesus because I was afraid He would forget about me or He would not use me in the way I had planned. Instead the Lord has given me the message to BE STILL and KNOW that HE is God. (10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.") Many of you are familiar with this but the verse literally means to be still...to cease striving with your own plans and know Him. Know Him. As we seek Him we will find Him and we will want others to know Him. When we see that our righteousness is as filthy rags those big fat egos will be beaten down in light of the Holiness of our God. Quick story: The other day I was thinking back on friendships that didn't work out in elementary school, broken relationships that I never thought I would get over, abuse that I endured, and so many other things and I just had to praise God over how He was orchestrating my life even when I didn't understand. I had seen on Myspace some people that I used to be friends with and their life took on a completely different direction. I say this in all humility...I pray that they will come to the Lord...but what kind of direction would my life have taken had I continued journeying on with these people. No I am not better than them but through brokenness and not being able to understand...the Lord was working out His plans for me.

And back to the subject of working for the Lord and bringing glory to Him...we must make our focus knowing Him and delighting in Him and His light will spill over from our full cups. I love the following verse to remind me that the Lord knows my motives and hidden agendas and He will judge my work in truth because nothing is hidden from Him.
1 Corinthians 3:11-13

11For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work.

May the following verses be our hearts cry and that instead of seeking position we would see God with all of our hearts to love and adore Him and that He would be High and lifted up in our lives:
Psalm 27: 4 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

And remember this and take it from me: YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY like I have so many times.
Matthew 23:12
12For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

I hope this make sense because I am really tired. So goodnight. I love all of my bloggin' sistas (siestas)...(and brothers) and praise God for your passion for Jesus and how you have encouraged me!

my valentine

Thank you for all of your sweet comments on my last post. Seriously...you guys have been such an instrument of Gods love and grace...I am so blessed.

Here is a pic of my Valentine! She has been sick today with some sort of stomach virus. I hate when she throws up...she doesn't understand. She did throw up in a bucket today and was so proud that she had to take the bucket and show her dad. lol!

I prayed big time this morning that it would be something quick and she seems to be so much better! =)
My camera still wont upload and this is an old pic I found. Blessings to my peeps!

Blog awards and Valentines

Thank you so much Leigh for this sweet blogging award. You all are the biggest encourager's ever!

So, I pass this on today to:

NYC- She digs Jesus

Heather- She has prayed for me countless times!

Maryanna -She has been a constant source of encouragement to me over the years

Charity- She mailed me the sweetest gift today. It was so sweet of the Lord.

Amy- She is very talented, loves the Lord, and has been a sweet friend for so many years.

Bethanne - She is so real and loves the Lord so much.

And I can't leave out Bev or Janel....they mean so much to me with their constant encouragement.

I really pick all of you and I love you all!

I went to my sweet little baby girls valentines party today where all she cared about was getting some candy. Then, I worked on dinner. I made Rod a homemade lasagna that his sister taught me to make and it was wonderful. He said it was the best he had ever had and he is not one to dish out any lies about food (it is what it is) so I know he wasn't flattering me. Rod gave Morgan one pink rose and she was so thrilled and carried it around for a long time asking us to smell it.

After dinner I slept until 9pm and then went down to check on my family before Rod went to bed. It was a good day!

Also, please still lift me up in prayer. I am having a hard time with fatigue, heart palpitations, and feeling faint. I have two doctors appointments coming up and I am trying not to worry. I have been having several other issues that I am not going to post in blogland and I would appreciate your sweet prayers. I am sick of dr visits....boo!!

If it weren't for the Lord...

Proverbs 19:22
What a man desires is unfailing love ; better to be poor than a liar.

Psalm 130:7
O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.

I have been sitting here literally sobbing into my hands at the unfailing love of God. I do not deserve His love, mercy, or steadfastness at all. Yet He has been so good to me. I have sinned against Him, shunned Him, set myself in opposition to Him at times, yet from on that cruel cross He cried out for you and for me "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." He has saved me and kept me to this day because of who He is.

I have looked for love in all of the wrong places and have truly only found unfailing love in Him. His love will not fail us even when we feel forsaken. He will not drop us, or abandon us, or forsake the work of His hands. He still calls us to a path of obedience for our own good so we can experience the full measure of His Spirit. No matter how far we have ventured from His side, with Him there is full redemption. Does anyone reading this need full redemption? Look for the love you so desperately need and desire in Him alone.

Trying to find love by this worlds standards will be the death of us. It only leads to misery and an empty space that can't be satisfied. What if we were secure in His love for us...His unfailing, unchanging, steadfast love? Ask Him to make you secure in His love and keep your nose in His word so you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. He loves you. Even if you feel no one else does...He loves you.

**Let me add this and I have a Valentines party to attend for Morgan in a minute.
A lot of you are familar with the Hebrew word Hesed which is where most of your translations translate unfailing love. I want to quote something from the lexical aides of my Keyword study about the word Hesed:
"Hesed is central to God's character (Ps 59:10; 100:5). It is closely tied to His covenant with His chosen people (Dt 7:9,12); in fact, the covenant may be thought of as the relationship from which the hesed flows. God's hesed, however is not bound by the covenant itself, and though men may prove unfaithful to this relationship, God's hesed [unfailing love-emphasis mine] is everlasting (Ps 107:1; 118:1-4, 29; Isa 54:8)."

PRAISE YOU LORD!!
Psalm 148:13 Let them praise the name of the LORD,
for his name alone is exalted;
his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.

If you need a reminder of His unfailing love CLICK HERE and read through some of these verses.

Obedience=His Blessing

Exodus 8:21-23

21 If you do not let my people go, I will send swarms of flies on you and your officials, on your people and into your houses. The houses of the Egyptians will be full of flies, and even the ground where they are.

22 " 'But on that day I will deal differently with the land of Goshen, where my people live; no swarms of flies will be there, so that you will know that I, the LORD, am in this land. 23 I will make a distinction between my people and your people. This miraculous sign will occur tomorrow.' " (emphasis mine)

My heart is so full from what I have been learning that I wish I could sit down face to face and talk with those of you that I know love to learn and share what you are learning. There is no way I have time or space, or the words to articulate everything.

As far as Valentines goes I am sure most everyones focus will be on love today. Some people will probably have a bad day because they don't feel loved and today is supposed to be the national day of "love" or in other respects "lust" because true love only comes from God. But what about the times in my life, in your life, where your actions don't reflect love through your obedience to Christ? John 14:15 says "If you love me, you will obey what I command." Maybe you are not like me but there have been so many times I have had to get honest with God and tell Him that I had an obedience problem that stemmed from me not loving Him with my whole heart. Somewhere along the way my heart got divided and it was not fully my Beloveds. If I have heard it once I have heard it a thousand times "You can't love others until you love yourself, you have got to love yourself and take care of you...FIRST." That is a lie. The bible is clear that in the end times people will be "lovers of themselves". The bottom line is our society has no problem with taking care of "self" first. I took a trip to the store today to get something for my taxes and there were swarms of people getting their last minute valentines goods. It was a rude crowd...I think you all know what I am talking about buggies everywhere, people sighing because they might have to wait, cutting each other off with their shopping carts, rude drivers in the parking lot. Just go to the store if you want to see the mentality I am speaking of. Our problem with not being able to love others is that we try to love in our own strength instead of the love that comes through the power of the Holy Spirit. If we are waiting on taking care of "me" first to then be able to love others we are in for a life of misery. I have found it to be true myself that the more life is focused on me the more miserable I become.

So what do those verses at the top of my entry have to do with this? Loving God with all of your heart will result in obedience to Gods word. When you are half hearted you become luke warm and disobedient, selfish, and proud. When you are divided you will always end up spiraling down in your walk with Christ. Praise God that like the prodigal son we can always come back to our Father and give Him all of our heart...even if it is a messed up heart that needs mending.

Last night, I was studying about the plagues in Egypt. I was just blown away at the severity of the plagues. We can so tend to diminish the whole account of the Israelites Exodus that it becomes something of a fairy tale to us. Let me just share a brief account of some of the plagues (and you would do so much better to go read it for yourself and let the Holy Spirit speak): the frogs for example...they were everywhere! Can you even imagine frogs being in your bed, your cupboard, all in your home, everywhere you went (sick)? Can you imagine locusts that would come and swarm and devour everything (your land, produce, trees)? Can you imagine the type of gnats that would be as numerous as the dust particles stinging you, getting in your nose, and all of your livestock, and invading everywhere? Then, the darkness that fell on the Egyptians...so thick for 3 days that no one could see anything? Then, the most horrible thing...the firstborns of the Egyptians that were dead everywhere? I can't even begin to imagine the horror.
The LORD instructed His chosen people to eat the passover meal and to eat it in haste. He told them to eat with their shoes on which was not custom to eat with shoes on in a house (because they were about to depart as a nation out of that forsaken place of slavery). He told them that He would passover their dwellings and spare them by the lambs blood dipped in hyssop and wiped over the door frames, which of course we know points to the Lamb (without blemish) who was slain before the foundation of the world to save us from our sins. But the Lord tells them to eat that meal in haste and to ask the Egyptians for plunder, because they were about to be led out of their horrible land of slavery...the land they had inhabited for 400 years.

I can't even imagine what the Israelites went through in this horrible time of slavery (yet I certainly know what it is like to be in sins slavery and darkened in my understanding...a dog returning to her vomit). Pharaoh thought he was a god and he hardened his own heart and the Lord gave him over to that hard heart. The Israelites were in horrible slavery but the Lord had not forgotten them. He would come and bring them out with a mighty hand and miraculous wonders. Our God is Mighty and He is powerful. So please don't be tempted to downplay the miraculous things in His word (like actually parting the Red Sea...can you even imagine). He spoke this very earth into existence and He dwells in ineffable light. He needs no counselor...He is God and He will be true to His word because there is no deceit in Him. When He tells you and me something in the word He means it. When He tells us that we will be blessed if we obey His word He is telling the truth.
Luke 11:28He replied, "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it."

And on the flip side if we live in disobedience (and I know this one well...unfortunately) we will reap the consequences.

Galatians 6:6-8
Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor.

7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature^[a]will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

If we are in Christ we are set apart (saints) because of the shed blood. The thing that amazed me in the account of the departure from Egypt was the fact that Goshen was a part of Egypt and while all of these plagues occurred in Egypt, God protected His people who were in Goshen. Remember that Goshen was given to Josephs family to settle in after the famine when they moved to Egypt. There the Hebrews lived for 400 years. It just baffles me that the Egyptians could almost look down to Goshen and see that while all of these plagues were attacking them, the frogs, the Nile turning to blood, the gnats, the locusts, and the death of the first born in the households, and all of the others...that this pestilence did not touch Gods chosen people. It reminds me of these verses in Psalm 91:

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

You and I are not going to be exempt from trials and suffering but there is blessing in obedience to God. It is just true and I know first hand. I also know what it is like to walk on my own and experience the consequences. PLEASE DON'T TAKE THAT FIELD TRIP into sin. My prayer for whoever reads this is that you would take God at His word.

I read a quote from Beth Moore yesterday that said "Freedom never comes through disobedience." She is dead on. If you are struggling in a certain area take a step back and assess things. Are you whole hearted with the Lord? If not...tell Him. Tell Him why you are afraid of letting go of the idols you are clinging to. Tell Him you are not whole hearted and ask Him to help you. He already knows the state of your heart anyway.

If you are His child...life is not over for you because you have taken some falls. Cry out to God to help you...ask Him for a hunger and passion for Him like never before and walk daily with Him. Not just knowing the word but acting on it. There is peace and blessing in our obedience.

I am tired and not feeling well so I hope this made sense. I wish I had more time but I know most people probably don't read this far anyway.

I am just amazed by the faithfulness of God to what He says...after all He is who He says. In Him there is no deceit and He wants us to get serious about Him and take Him at His word, walking in it...for our good...and His glory. You will be safest, even in the storms of life, when you make Him your dwelling and you stay in close fellowship through obedience. The enemy wants to deceive you in thinking your way is better...but the way that seems right to man leads in death. His ways our right and He will bless our obedience...not to what the world says with all of it's secular advice...but to what He says.

how embarrassing

I was out and about today waiting to go pick up Morgan. I started feeling a horrible feeling wash over me. I thought I was going to start to black out. I was so scared that I was going to black out while I was driving and I didn't have a cell phone to be able to call anyone. I parked and began to read the psalms and beg God to help me.

I make it to the church and sit in the parking lot and pray some more asking God to let me be able to get my daughter. I walk in and I thought I was about to pass out on the floor. The sweet ladies at church got Rod on the phone and I laid on a bench in the kids area. Since I have gone to my church for 10 years I have gotten to know a lot of people and everyone stopped by to ask if I was alright. I was so embarrassed.

I forgot to take my beta blocker yesterday which is why I think this episode may have occurred. Anyway, I still feel sick and I just need some prayer. I have bible study tonight and I would covet your prayers that the Lord would help me to make it through. It is so frightening when I think of not being able to take care of morgan because of something like that. (before anyone wonders...I have MVP and regurgitation with my heart and it can cause blood to flow back in the valve and cause these episodes). I don't want any attention...I just ask for you to pray for me.

Psalm 73

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

It's 1 am

Will someone who has read the redemption series that I spoke of in my get a grip post please tell me that Kari ends up with Ryan? It will be more than I can take if she doesn't and I will be mad that I ever started these books. I finished that first one in 24 hours and I will for sure have to limit my reading...but I need to know before I dare read the next in the series. LOL!! Here it is 1 am and I just finished the first one. HELP! love-the drama queen who cant stand suspense.

"No other gods"-by Kelly Minter

I think most everyone who is going to do the study has their book by now. If you have already started the study please let me know what week you are on. If you have not started go ahead and start and check in on Monday if you can and let us know what you are learning!

GO HERE to visit her site

ps

What a sweet moment...
Last night, Morgan got all of her bears and stuffed animals and got them each a pillow so they could go night night. Then, we made them lift their hands in praise to "Shout to the Lord." Then, Morgan told them all to "say prayers". Then, she made her animals pray!! I really treasured it all in my heart.

Get a Grip!

I love to read and a friend of mine Angel, from bible study, told me to read the Redemption series by Karen Kingsbury. So, I checked out the book from my church library and started to read it in my downtime last night. I got to page 130 something and I started to get worried that the book might not turn out like I wanted it to. So do you know what I did? I do this with a lot of books. I quickly flipped to the last two chapters and scanned until I could figure out how it was going to end. Get a grip Jenny...I said to myself out loud. The thing is...I hate surprises and suspense. If I can know the ending then I can stick with it.

I am probably the worlds most impatient person. I can remember back to my first year of marriage and how I read every Christian marriage book I could get my hands on. All it did was frustrate me because I wanted my marriage to look like the authors who had written the books and they had been married 30-40 years, not one. Impatience at its best.

I always need me a tall drink of the Holy Spirit.

On another note...I am so glad that Gods word tells us how things are going to turn out for the Kingdom. As I have been studying Moses I realized we are reading what happened in past tense but Moses didn't get the run down. He had to walk by faith in all his imperfections and God used him profoundly and was glorified when Moses fully surrendered to Him.

Isn't that like us though? We want to know how our life is going to turn out...but God calls us to walk by faith and not sight (2 Cor 5:7). He tells us to set our hearts on things above...to look to the author and perfecter of our faith...to set our gaze on Him. Our fix on Him and living in obedience to Him is what is going to get us to the finish.

The following verse is my prayer...that I would wait on Him instead of always rushing nervously up ahead:

Psalm 130:5
5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

Deut. 32:4 He is the Rock, his works are perfect,
and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong,
upright and just is he.

beths blog today...LOL

Most of you who read my blog read Beth Moore's blog as well. Go read todays entry because I about died!! I am going to paste my comment here so you can read it just for fun times. It was good to take this jog in my mind!! I laughed out loud!

my comment:
Oh I love it! I laughed out loud most of the way through this post. Especially when you said some of your jackets may have been be-dazzled!! LOL! Also, Jackson looks mighty fine!
Bibby you sure do wear some expensive smocks for makeup!! LOL!! ;)
Look on the bright side...my guy has seriously bought me BACK SCRATCHERS from most of the states he has been to as gifts (from the gas station..and let's not forget the state magnets for the fridge. I have an assortment of colors if you ever need to borrow one to go with your outfit. He even bought me a JUMBO pencil with my home state of ALABAMA's logo. I pulled that bad boy out in church one day so I could put it to use and everyone about fell out of the pew. Oops.
Then, this is soooo romantic...in a last ditch effort before our first valentines day (he is VERY LAST MINUTE) he comes in with my gift...a chocolate license plate that said I heart you! I am about died and tried to find it in me to be nice about my gift wrapped in the wal-mart bag. LOL
Thanks for the laugh this morning!!

then rod gets a shout out from beth ;) He is famous! j/k No but really...I think he takes the cake for the most last minute gift ideas!!

OK, you guys have me so tickled that my eyes are stinging. How about Stacy Harp's husband getting her guitar picks for Valentine's because they "looked like a heart"? THEN, maybe the best ever is our siesta whose husband brings her BACK SCRATCHERS (laughing so hard I can hardly type) from most of the states he's been to. He was also thoughtful enough of her heritage to bring her a jumbo pencil with the logo from her home state of Alabama on it. Y'all about did me in on this one. I love y'all so much.

PS. Georgia Jan, I can totally get into you pointing with the paint stirring stick. Yes. Excellent choice.

February 8, 2008 11:23 AM

My Child

So, Morgan has started to make connections with things like Santa and cartoons like Little Bill. We were at Wendys last week and she saw a black man next to us who was getting in his car and started saying loudly..."LITTLE BILL!! LITTLE BILL! LITTLE BILL!" I said shhh Morgan. She just thought he looked like "Little Bill" so of course if he looks like little bill, he must be little bill.
Then, there is a homeless man that sort of looks like a Santa Claus, that hangs out at the gas station that we usually stop at. Whenever I see him coming I have this conversation in my head of Oh no! We have got to get out of here before Morgan says anything. She sees him and in all her innocence SHOUTS OUT (we are a loud family) SANTA!!! "Shhh Morgan...don't say that," I tell her. She is only 2 people. Fun times!!
Please feel free to share any embarrassing stories that you may have. =)

Dr. Al Mohler and Dr. James MacDonald on the emerging church

I always love Dr. Al Mohlers thoughts as well as Dr. James MacDonald.

Click HERE
HERE
and HERE
to read their thoughts on the emerging church. I personally am in complete disagreement with most of the views of the "Emerging Church". We should never attempt to diminish the gospel to fit the surrounding culture. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

The emerging church

Wow my second post today!

As most of you know I am obsessed with Moses right now. I just read this and it is right along with everything else God is speaking to me about. He wants me to wait on Him and His timing...He has not forgotten me or you. Thank you Lord for your alive and active word. I desperately need it.

Trusting God's Timing

Greg Laurie

Can you think of a time in your life when you acted impulsively and came to regret it? Maybe you bought a car on impulse and were sorry afterward. Maybe it was that contract you signed without reading it carefully. Maybe it was that business deal you entered into that you should have taken more time to consider. Whatever the decision may have been, you regretted it later.

I have discovered that God's timing is just as important as God's will. In fact, the Bible talks a lot about timing. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven" (NKJV).

The Bible talks about a man of God who had really bad timing. If this man were in a race, he would have been the one to come out of nowhere, take the lead, and then suddenly self-destruct. The man I'm speaking of is Moses.

Although Moses was one of the greatest men of God, he also was a man who had some serious setbacks and committed serious sin. It is worth noting that, along with Saul of Tarsus, Moses is one of the men God used who actually was guilty of murder.

Moses was a bit on the impulsive side. I can understand that, because I share that characteristic with him. I can be impulsive. But being impulsive has its drawbacks, and Moses' impulsiveness brought some devastating results.

Moses was born at a time of extreme hardship in Israel's history. The descendents of Jacob had grown to about three million in Egypt and had been forced into slavery. Pharaoh, seeing the Hebrews as a potential threat, decreed that newborn Hebrew boys were to be drowned in the Nile River.

As the children of Israel cried out to God for deliverance, enter Moses, the man of God. First, he was the baby protected by God and adopted by Pharaoh's daughter. The Jewish historian, Josephus, tells us that this Pharaoh had no son or heir; therefore, Moses was being groomed to become the next Pharaoh of Egypt. He was being raised as royalty, which meant that he would have been schooled in all that Egypt had to offer.

But Moses still knew who he was. He was a true believer in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Underneath those Egyptian robes beat the heart of a Hebrew.

Maybe that's what caused him to swing into action when he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew. The Bible says he looked "this way and that way," and then killed the Egyptian (see Exodus 2:12).

Moses' heart was in the right place, but his actions were foolish, to say the least. Clearly, the Lord had not told Moses to do this. Instead of looking around, Moses should have been looking up.

Moses probably thought that his fellow Hebrews would be grateful for what he had done, but things didn't turn out that way. Everyone knew what he did, but no one applauded. When Pharaoh heard what had happened, Moses had to flee for his life. Off he went, into the wilderness.

God wants us to do His will in His way in His timing.

Moses was a leader in training, but he wasn't ready yet. He had lost his people. He had lost his reputation. But he had not lost God. What looked like the end was actually the beginning.

Forty years later, God appointed Moses to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt. What Moses did not realize was that God had been preparing him during that time. Notice what God said to him: "I am the God of your father-the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob" (Exodus 3:6 NKJV).

What was God saying? I am the God of ordinary men who have accomplished some extraordinary things. There is hope for you. I am not just the God of Abraham. I am not just the God of Isaac and Jacob. I am the God of Moses. I am calling you. I am giving you a second chance.

God still uses ordinary people today. Even people who have made mistakes. Even people who have sinned.

Maybe you are in a situation right now in which you can identify with Moses. Can I make a suggestion? Confess your sins to God. Deal with them and learn from your mistakes. And know this: God can still use you. He gives second chances. Maybe you need one today.

Before I call...

I woke up one morning last week and was faced with the temptation to worry... first thing (don't you hate it when your heart is burdened down before you ever have a chance to get started). We have had some tough times in the last few years with medical stuff and it just has worn us down and drained us financially. Anyway, Rod is also 100% commission and we have seen our ups and downs with that as well. We have definitely seen how the economy has affected everything. So, as I walked to the window that morning, I looked out and saw what had to be hundreds of birds feeding on the ground. They were so cute and little. The Lord reminded me of his verses in Matthew and Luke.

Matthew6:26-27
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

I love how He told the disciples to LOOK. Look at the birds of the air. In the very literal sense the Lord tells them look at the birds...they don't sow or reap or store away in barns, and our heavenly Father feeds them.
The word for look is the word behold in the KJV it is the word emblepo {em-blep'-o}
Meaning: 1) to turn one's eyes on 2) look at 3) metaph. to look at with the mind, to consider

You and I have a million things we could spend our strength worrying about. Worry will literally put us in an early grave. So the Lord of hosts tells us to look at them with our mind and give careful thought to the fact that the Lord values us so much more than the birds of the air that He takes care of. Most of us in America are extremely blessed! Just think about the ability to have health care for one. When Morgan got dehydrated a while back I was tempted to complain about how long it was taking at the ER but on the other hand I had to whisper a prayer to Jesus thanking Him that I didn't have to watch my child die, like some mother do that can't get their child any care.

I have been put in so many positions to trust the Lord it is not even funny. I am talking about times when I needed divine intervention to even make it another day. Even this week I was noticing how Morgans jeans were getting a little to short and I really didn't have the funds to run out and buy some clothes. Well, I went to the gas station and Linda (whom I have told most of you about...the one who lost her daughter in law recently) bought Morgan 2 outfits including 2 pairs of jeans. Let me brag on the Lord for just a minute...He has seriously provided most all of Morgans clothes for free. There have been many times I could have run out and bought her stuff and I waited and He provided.

Lately, I have been so fatigued. I am not sure why but I can't get enough rest...I am that tired. Yesterday morning I was like oh if could only have a nap. Rods parents called and wanted to take Morgan to the store with them and give me some time to myself. TO TAKE A NAP. I slept the entire time they were gone. It was yet another reminder of how He knows what I need...even if it the need is rest. Morgan loves her Mimi and Pop and she cried like crazy when they left. They bought her a bunch of snacks for her lunch and other things (just because they wanted to) and it was yet a reminder of how the Lord will meet my needs as I wait for Him. So often we hurry and scurry around in worry trying to meet our own needs without giving thought to waiting on the Lord to provide. And as a side note...yes we need to work and not just freeload but God gives us the energy to even be able to work. I am just talking about all of the times when God shows up by setting an answer to my need in motion before I have even called.

Isaiah 65:24
24 Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.


Jeremiah 33:3

3 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

Union University, TN

Our pastors children go to Union University and I wanted to put the link here from my church and ask you to pray for everyone involved in the tornado.
CLICK HERE

From James MacDonalds Blog www.walkintheword.com

from my fave! So good as always!

God Hates Fake Stuff

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:1-4

Everybody hates a fake.

My wife is so tricky sometimes! She puts out all this counterfeit fruit in bowls in our kitchen and I get so confused. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up a great looking pear and almost broken my tooth when I tried to bite into it! How worthless is that? I hope you don’t have fake fruit at your house.

I also hate fake grass. Football should be played on real turf.

I hate fake laugh tracks on TV shows. What?-is the comedy so bad that it needs canned laughter?

I just hate fake stuff.

God hates fake stuff, too. Not so much the surfacey, silly things that bother me-God hates soul fakeness. He detests the gap in our lives between what we know to be true and how we’re living it. The biblical term is hypocrisy.

There should be some kind of alarm that’s goes off in your heart when there’s a substantive gap between what you say and what you do; between what you profess and what you actually live; between the appearances that you keep up at church in front of other people and what it’s really like at your house. God hates that phoniness. That’s why Jesus says, “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them” (Matthew 6:1).

People will see you live your life; that’s not the problem. You don’t have to keep secret the fact that you go to church, or raise your hands in worship or get on your knees to pray, or open your written-in Bible. But when you do all those things so that people will see you-that is a problem. Doing-spiritual-things-so-other-people-notice goes right to motive. If you’re acting godly with the desire to get attention or affirmation or strokes from folks-you just got all the reward you deserve and lost God’s approval in the process.

So this begs the question, “Why is hypocrisy such a hard thing to shake?”

It’s because of the weight you and I put on people’s opinions of us rather than feeling the weight of what God thinks of us.

The solution: Don’t do anything “to be seen.” Have a better, more pure reason to do whatever it is you choose to do for God. Anything less than pleasing Him will only get you canned applause.

How are you walking?

Ephesians 4:17-18

Living as Children of Light

17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.

So Paul speaking to Christians tells them that they must no longer live as the Gentiles do. The term "gentile" was used in Judaism to describe what Christians would call a "pagan". He was saying don't walk like those who don't know Christ. We who are in Christ are faced with the same temptation to live in the flesh and revert back to old tendencies if we are not on guard. The enemy wants us to become complacent, distracted, brainless people. For example look at some of the things that we use as means of entertainment to just "check out". Things that dumb us down as a culture. Just turn on your TV and you won't have to look far. I am NOT saying all TV is bad or dumb. But seriously take a look at the things that we spend our time on that are not profitable. Case in point, I remember the first time I saw "To Catch A Predator". I was horrified and got on my face and cried out to God. I was so disturbed over it. Well, as time went on and the shows kept rolling I became a little less sensitive in an effort to not have an emotional outburst. I in essence hardened myself to it as a protective mechanism. Yes, it is horrible...but it has become a regular part of television (I am so glad they are catching these people). The Lord spoke in my spirit this verse last night as Rod had it on the TV:

Romans 16:19Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.

I told Rod that I would appreciate it if he would change the channel. I didn't need to watch it and listen to the perversions to know that this kind of thing exists. I need to be focused way more on what is good, and not fill my mind listening to the lewd acts on television. You get my point I am sure. I don't need to be well schooled in evil to know that it exists...believe me anyone living any amount of time here is aware of the fallen state on this planet.

I say this with great love and affection to anyone reading this that says the things they "let in" don't affect them. This is something that I have heard over and over in the last several years.
The Bible says that what we take in affects us:

34Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness.

Luke 11:34

34Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness.

So how do the Gentiles live? Paul says in the futility of their thinking. Other translations say in the futility of their minds.

The word for futility is so interesting to me in the Greek.
It is the word mataiotes {mat-ah-yot'-ace}
Meaning: 1) what is devoid of truth and appropriateness 2) perverseness, depravity 3) frailty, want of vigour.
Here is a broader definition:
"Vanity, futility, meaninglessness, worthlessness, (Ephesians 4:17, not the utter absence of purpose, but the absence of true purpose and meaning)."

So, what I gather is that we can be the "salt that loses its saltiness" (which is of no use) if we are not guarding the good deposit. I have a person that is close to me that I have seen over time gradually decline. At one point this person was on fire for the Lord but let the cares and burdens of this world choke out the fullness of the Holy Spirit. Let that serve as a warning to you and to me. So Paul is admonishing these Christians that they are not to walk in that way. I know some of you reading this (all five people) may be thinking Jenny, you don't know what I have done. You don't know how bad I want to be back right with the Lord but it will just never be what it once was. I have been away to long. That is a lie...from the father of lies. You get on your face and cry out to God to restore the joy of His salvation. He will. Surround yourself with the word through sermons and praise music. Get in a bible study if you can find one. Limit the intake of the flesh. I once heard the phrase that we need to feed the spirit and starve the flesh figuratively speaking. I have been struggling lately myself so I have been intentional about popping in some old sermons and listening to them while I am cleaning or even just listening to the bible on tape. If you and I are going to combat the lies that assail us we are going to have to know the truth and seek to live in the Spirit. The Holy Spirit will help us because we are no match for the enemy on our own.

Look at this one more time:
(Ephesians 4:17, not the utter absence of purpose, but the absence of true purpose and meaning)."
We can live here and still have purpose but have the absence of true purpose and meaning. We can just exist and feel like our purpose is to work, take care of kids, and etc and miss the big purpose that there are people all around us in need of a Saviour. When you and I get bogged down in sin and are constantly indoctrinated by this world order we will just be spinning our wheels so to speak. I had a year in my life where I could not see past my sin and I was MISERABLE. I knew what it was to "taste and see that the Lord is good" and I got myself into a stronghold and pretty much loathed my life. I was just existing in that year. When the Lord opened my eyes that I needed to get on with it I began to see immense needs all around me. I had the opportunity to share the gospel with several people and see God work in ways that I thought He could no longer work (a lie) through my life. I was so grieved at what my trip to the pit cost me and so thankful for His mercy to not just swallow me in the earth over my sin. I don't EVER want to take that trip again and I hate some of the lessons that I have learned because of my own sinful ways. So, if God can give me a fresh start He can give it to anyone. In this time I learned how important it was going to be for me to put off the flesh and put on the Spirit and not walk like I once did when I didn't know Christ.

Oh I could go on but I sense the Lord nudging me to get some stuff done before Morg wakes up. More of my ramblings to come and I appreciate the fact that no one has to read this unless they want to. =) I have got to share some stuff from vs 18 that I learned...but...

One more thing my friend Jessica just sent this to me from her pastors blog...it was so timely:

Substantial and Dependable

"When all visible evidences that He is remembering us are withheld, that is best. He wants us to realize that His Word, His promise of remembrance, is more substantial and dependable than any evidence of our senses." C.G. Trumbull

"Groanings which cannot be uttered are often prayers which cannot be refused." C.H. Spurgeon

"Beware in your prayer, above everything, of limiting God, not only by unbelief, but by fancying that you know what He can do. Expect unexpected things, above all that we ask or think. Each time you intercede, be quiet first and worship God in His glory. Think of what He can do, of how He delights to hear Christ, of your place in Christ; and expect great things." Andrew Murray