Speaking From a Wound

1 Samuel 16:7
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

(I am a little nervous over this post because I want it to come out right)...
I have thought about something all afternoon and all while I worked tonight. So of course, I will blog about it. I was reading a Christian speakers blog today and I read something that really bothered me that was addressed to the way women dress. It was her blog and she is free to say what she wants but as I read it I felt sorry that I had thought or said some of the same things about other women in the past. I taught in the singles ministry for a long time and I can remember seeing girls that would come in my class that were dressed very inappropriately and I would comment to myself at times and sometimes speak about how we as women can cause others to stumble by the way we dress (and I specifically meant that just for them...just so you will know the condition of my heart). I spoke those words not so much because I cared about them or even how they could cause another to stumble... but in some way they made me feel insecure so it would cut me to the core. Yes, as Christians we should care about how we dress and should care about not causing another to lust after us and etc. But as I read this woman's post I thought about how we tend to address (and she was speaking of a complete stranger) what someone should not be wearing when really it is an issue of the what's in their heart and not what is on the outside. It reminds me of the verses on our speech...it is not the word's we say but the condition of our heart where our words come from.

Matthew 15:18-20
18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "

That reminds me of the self-help trend where we focus on fixing the externals instead of having much needed heart surgery and getting to the core issue of our problems. Take an alcoholic for example. Yes, that is an addiction but usually at the root of the problem can be loneliness that needs to be filled by Christ, or maybe pain management...just drinking until you can't feel instead of dealing with your pain head on.

Women know that dressing in a seductive manner will draw attention and they will feel powerful. That is why they do it. I would say that when we dress to gain the attention of another man (that is not our husband...if you are married) that we are struggling with insecurity. Plain and simple we will use our body as a way to validate. Someone who is dressing to gain attention is seeking to be validated by the attention they get. But let me ask you this? Have you ever felt that same way? We are all tempted to yet we will so brutally look down on others. I am not agreeing with the immodest dress that is out there by any means. I am also not saying that you shouldn't be cute. There will always be someone thinner than us, prettier than us, younger looking than we are and that is just a fact. This is getting personal but one night there was a famous girl on television posing in a commercial and it was very much a commercial that was sexual in nature. I immediately shouted at the TV so Rod could hear me "She's a piece of trash!" Rod stopped me and said "Jenny, listen to yourself...she is made in the image of God whether she is living that way or not...you shouldn't call her a piece of trash." I immediately got defensive and felt like he was taking up for her. Do you know why I lashed out at the TV and her ad...it was because I felt like she could gain the attention of my man and that I was not good enough (I am not saying he was giving her attention either) so I wanted to lash out at the wrong she was doing and degrade her as a person because in some way it made me feel small and insecure. That is the truth. The Lord knows the condition of every heart and it is His kindness that leads us to repentance. Instead of picking up stones and casting them at people we need to pray for others that may not be in the same place that we are. And in the church we should teach in love regarding the way that a Christian woman should dress, because not everyone is in the same place that we are. We don't come out and throw stones of condemnation especially when we don't even know where someone is at with the Lord. How quick we are to label people instead of praying for them. I am so guilty of this. Especially as women how many times have we judged someone else based on appearance when we've never even had the first conversation with them.
I pray that the Lord will make you and I secure enough in our relationship with Him that we can love others and find our worth in Him. Also, I hope that we can pray for others instead of looking down on them. Don't you think that deep down when we lash out about another woman that in some way we really just want to cut her down to make ourselves feel better? These are just my opinions. I have dealt with insecurity so much and I have been hurt and betrayed in this life to...but I truly want to love and pray for people who do not treat their temple as holy instead of letting it shake me and make me feel insecure. Let's face it we will all have this problem until Christ comes to call us home. We can honor the Lord with our beauty, teach our children to dress modestly, and speak the truth in love but we can't control the rest.

1 Peter 3:2-4
when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Psalm 45:11
11 The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.