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Friday, June 29, 2007

I am back

Here is some fun stuff from yesterday!! :)
SCENE 1

I used to watch the Seinfeld show back in the day...it really had some funny moments. Anyway, since my days of retail, ministry, family life and etc I have thought about writing my own show. I really have some serious material! If you have been my friend for a long time you will testify that I could write a show and it would be a hit! Well, I have to share the funniest stuff from today...some I am going to omit for the sake of respect. Rod was scheduled to leave for Kansas today and he didn't go due to the weather. The terrain would not be suitable for hanging tree stands (whatever). So, he said he would take the little boog to Mother's Day out so I could get some rest. That would be great if I could get some rest but Rod (and this is no offense) doesn't know how to put an outfit on Morgan (even if I lay the clothes out) or do hair. That is fine, so I got up and dressed her (she was looking mighty cute) and off they went. I spent some time in the word and then went back to sleep...so nice. I slept until 12 noon. I didn't even sleep that late as a teen. I went to get Morgan and it began to pour down rain (PTL) well there was also a really bad wreck near the entrance to my house so we pulled into the parking lot of our favorite Mexican restaurant and as we were about to go inside she saw a silver truck, the hands went up and she began to yell hey da! Oh no, I can't go through this again...if you have read my previous posts she does this ALL of the time and it is a SCENE! I pulled out of the parking lot and she cried and cried. We called her dad on the phone but he is not as concerned with it since he doesn't deal with this everyday. Then, I had to run an errand and she fell asleep. We pull into the CVS parking lot to get some tp (toilet paper) and you guessed it...A SILVER TRUCK! This time the man is inside the truck. I didn't realize until I was getting her unbuckled that she spotted it. The man looked like Willie Nelson, he was covered in tattoos and was sporting his orange Harley Davidson hat. She looked him square on and I think she thought maybe her dad was in the car with him but that just wasn't da! He was on his cell phone parked toward the end of the parking lot on Lorna road. We headed in CVS where Morgan made the biggest scene you have ever seen. She screamed and screamed until she began to gag. The lady at the register was like oh please don't throw up. I know several people that work there so they were trying to tend to her while I was getting more than frustrated. I even had to pop her on the thigh on aisle 10. I had to explain to oh everyone in the store as to why she was crying like that. I then told them that I was hiking down to the end of that parking lot to speak with that man and show her that it wasn't her dad. I told them that if they saw me missing on the news tonight they could call in a tip. I held her hand and we walked up to the truck "Excuse me sir, she thinks you are her dad. I am so sorry to interrupt your phone call." "No honey, he replied "but I will be her god-dad (we were about blown over with the smell of old-spice and a pipe...but what a nice guy)." Then I got a lot of sugar, honey, baby stuff and Morgan seemed more than a little frightened and we headed back to the car.

SCENE 2
There is a wonderful place in Hoover (the Paul Mitchell school) where you can go and get your haircut for $10. When I had short hair there is no way that I would risk going anywhere like that...but now that it is long and I needed a trim I am all about it. I went in to make an appointment and I saw a very attractive blond girl standing at the window on the phone (she works there). By the window there are like 10 mirrors. She was walking back and forth checking herself out in each mirror and I am not kidding when I say she was stopping in front of each mirror to get a good look she was so impressed with herself. When I say checking herself out I do mean she was and it was the most obvious thing I have ever seen. I began to chuckle and the girl at the front desk was wondering why I was laughing...I said girlfriend get a load of home girl...she can't stop catching a glimpse of herself. It was if she were saying each time she looked "Oh their I am, it's me again, yep that's me, me again, oh I am looking good, yes I am still here, me again." I about died. The girl keeping appointments said, "girl that is her all day long." Maybe you should have been there. After I left I told them to leave her a little note to read Ecclesiastes. I was kidding!! I mean if you are fine and you know it at least be a little discrete. It is like myspace where everyone has a million pictures of just them. After I left I walked by all of the mirrors just to humor the girls and we laughed as they told me how crazy I am.

SCENE 3

Before the hairdo I had some time to kill. I went to the dollar tree and tried to search for some cards. They are 2 for a dollar and you can actually get some really good cards. I just can't bring myself to pay five dollars for a card these days. Well, I have now decided that I am going to have to start writing my own cards and go into business if any of you have any suggestions. They will be called the "Tell them how you really feel honesty cards." I walked up to the counter and looked straight at the girl and said, "Where is the anniversary card that says this...we made it FOUR years...it seems like fifty already...God has kept us together and it will be God that keeps us together. WHAT HAPPENED? Trying to love you...LORD help!" We laughed so hard and then she told me about how she just got a divorce after three...bless.


2 comments:

donna said...

Strange that you would mention cards.....I hate to go and look for a birthday card for my daughter because every one of them says something so sweet and kind and how wonderful it has been to "have a daughter like you"....and truthfully, its NOT the truth for my particular case....then I leave sad because "its NOT the truth....and it has been really HARD being her mother.....and she ISNT sweet and kind. I forget each year and go through the same scenario.

Shelly said...

Sshh.....!!!! Totally random, but I just needed to say that your baby brother is a cutie :) lol