Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The Enduring Word

The verse of the day is Isaiah 41:10
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

It just sends chills up and down my spine as I think about how God used this verse to prepare me for one of my toughest hours. I began to have this verse burn on my heart weeks before I would lose my first born daughter, Shelby Hope. She would have been three years old on August the 20th. I can't believe it has almost been three years since she was born. Her life was 30 minutes long and I had to watch her die and there was NOTHING I could do. I felt like part of me had been ripped away...because it had. I have been through so much (SO MUCH) in my life...but nothing could have prepared me for that. God was and is faithful...He did not let a second go before He began to flood my heart with His words that I had stored up in my heart. Satan had no heart for me and wanted to kick me while I was down but the Lord did not let him triumph over me.
I have shared this so many times and I will share it again...

The doctor came in and sat on my hospital bed. He told me she would die and there was nothing that they could do. Her lungs were not developed. I immediately asked him to pray with me and we did. I then did not want to hear any more...I just needed to get through the toughest part...delivering and then letting her go be with Jesus. The Lord spoke LOUD and clear to me in the following moments. John Chapter 11 records the death of Lazarus (Mary and Martha's brother and the friend of Jesus). You know the story...Lazarus dies and the Lord lets him die and raises him back from the dead to bring the Father glory. Here is Rod's memory verse: "Jesus wept." Martha and Mary knew Jesus and they knew that He could have saved their brother from death. Martha cries out to the Lord:
John 11:21-26
21 "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died.
22 But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
23 Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
24 Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
25 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;
26 and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

Glory was at stake here. I always thought that Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus and in that moment in the hospital it was as if God said "Jenny, I am weeping (He experienced every external expression of grief...He WEPT) was not just one little tear rolling down the cheek of my Christ) for Mary and Martha and for you Jenny. You don't understand child...but Glory is at stake."

With sin...came death. BUT JESUS...made a way for us to be made right with Him through His blood shed on a cross. He destroyed death and the power of the grave.

I have had people tell me that babies don't go to heaven...I would like to slap them (lovingly).
Here are the words from 2 Samuel 12:21-23 in speaking of the child that David had with Bathsheba (the baby died).

21 His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!"
22 He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.'
23 But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

Try to tell a mother who has just lost her child that a Holy God would send a precious innocent child to hell. BIG FAT don't even go there with me.

1 Corinthians 15:26-28
26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
27 For he "has put everything under his feet." {27 Psalm 8:6} Now when it says that "everything" has been put under him, it is clear that this does not include God himself, who put everything under Christ.
28 When he has done this, then the Son himself will be made subject to him who put everything under him, so that God may be all in all.

1 Corinthians 15:54-58
54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." {54 Isaiah 25:8}
55 "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" {55 Hosea 13:14}
56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.
57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

I can't even imagine what my life would be like without sweet little Morgan...if I had not lost Shelby I would not have Morgan...and oh how I praise Him for Morgan!!

I leave you with these words that bring me much comfort as I think about the brief time I have here in comparison to eternity...our life is a vapor and a one day and gone the next. Teach us to number our days Lord...that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

NIV Revelation 21:1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.
2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.
4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
5 He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
6 He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.
7 He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son.


pinkmommy said...

Girl, to say I am sorry for your loss is a gross understatement. My heart hurts for you. I will pray especially hard for you on August 20th.

Faith said...

Sister, thank you so much for sharing this with us. It was heartbreaking to read of your loss, but thank you also for sharing God's tenderness in ministering to you. He is so good. I'm also so sorry that anyone would tell you babies don't go to heaven. I hadn't noticed that quote of David's but I love it and will file it away to encourage anyone wrestling with that question. I love you, Siesta!

Shelly said...

Girl...I don't know what to say, but now I'm wishing I could give you a hug. I know the Lord alone has been the Comforter of your Soul and sustained you during this season of tragedy.

Honored to walk beside you...

Teri said...

BIG FAT WHATEVER for real! Anyway, you are an incredibly amazing woman. Rom 8:18 is what is happening here! God is bringing glory to His name through this horrendous situation you had to endure! I love your heart and desire to share something so painful, so somebody might benefit. That is true service girl! I'm loving Jenny today!

Jeremy & Heather said...

Wow Jenny! My bday is Aug 19 so I will definitely remember to pray for you on the 20th and all the days surrounding. I do not know how hard it must be for you as I have never lost a child ... however, God does know and I pray that he will keep you close and give you extra special comfort!

lorisue said...

Jenny, I can not imagine the pain and hopelessness of loosing a child. I do know that God's Glory has been shown, just like in John 11. Thank you for allowing God's Glory to trumiph circumstance.

Prasing God for you and the encouragement you are to me and lifting you up to HIM.

Jen the Newlywed said...

Hi Jenny, we read alot of the same blogs and I've seen your name floating around :) I thought I'd stop by and say hi. My first read of your blog proved to be a difficult one. I cannot even imagine. To lose a child seems unfathomable to me. I don't know how anyone would be able to get through that without our Jesus! Thank you for sharing, God will use you to encourage others, as I'm sure that's already happened. Blessings to you and your precious family!

Jenny :) (That's my name too!)

SnappyCasualGifts said...

So sorry for the loss of your baby. I check in from time to time to read your blog, but had no idea of your loss. God uses you everyday to reach out to others through your blog and spread his word. I'm so glad you leaned on God through your tough loss. Morgan is precious by the way!