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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Who am I????

I thought I was going to get me some sweet sleep last night! Oh wait I forgot...Rod is the only one who sleeps in this house. Morgan decided that it was another night to par-ty! As I crawled into bed around 10 I began to feel heaviness and anxiety come over me. There are a lot of people I know having surgeries in the next couple of days and there are some other concerns that I have for some friends and just some trials on the side that I am going through. Then, I have told you before that I keep cards with scripture handy around the house...Morgan was getting in trouble last night for trying to touch the stove and she, being the child after her mothers own heart, quickly brought me some scripture cards. I am like "Lord, really...how do I get her in trouble with this king of cuteness?" On the card was this VERY VERY familiar verse (Isa 43:1). My antennas came up with this one. Then as I am laying in my bed I pull out some cards out of the drawer and there it is!!! The same verse. I begin to start worrying 90 to nothing..."Lord, why are you giving me these verses...what is going to happen?" I hate being a girl because I think our propensity to sin in the area of worrying is a little higher than a mans (I could be wrong...but I am sort of basing this on Rod...dude really doesn't worry about much in my estimation). Over the years these verses have meant a lot to me to remind me that "when" not "if", when I pass through the waters, He will be with me. When I pass through the rivers of life...they will not sweep over me. When I walk through the fire, I will not be burned (think of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3). We can just count on the fact that we will face trials of MANY kinds and that when we go through them we should not be surprised as if something strange were happening to us (1 Peter 4:12).

NIV Isaiah 43:1 But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Then again I got up and went to go sleep in Morgans room (she is in love with having her momma very close by if I must say so myself) and I picked up a devotional that had the verse from Philippians 4:6-7:

"6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Beth spoke on these verses during our Tuesday night dvd. She was saying that we literally are to pray about everything and that worrying is sin.

Why? Why is it sin? Well, it shows that we are not putting our trust in the Ancient of Days. The ONE who is not limited by time or space. He is already there in our tomorrows and He knows and we can trust Him. We can trust that His power is made perfect in our weakness. Beth spoke about 3 things we can do in a crisis situation like Daniel faced before the lions den. We can:
1. Panic
2. Paralyze and do nothing
3. We can pray

She said that prayer is always the right thing...always the power thing and that heaven will hear.
I have blown it in several situations if I must say. When Rod broke his back and I had learned of the accident...I completely panicked! I have since then had several crisis do-overs! When I learned of losing Shelby, I immediately went into prayer mode...I shut my ears literally to everyone else and I began to pray, extolling the Lord at all times. When I went into the hospital and they told me that Morgan was going to come at 28 weeks I began immediately to pray. As soon as I got in my hospital room (I WAS VERY ANGRY) I broke out my journal and began to go to town in prayer. Begging the Lord to let me keep this child...begging Him to not take her as well. The Neonatalogist came in the room and told me the odds and that she would be there within the next 24 hours. WRONG! She stayed in her mother's womb for SEVEN more weeks. God kept her and brought her safely here seven weeks later...against all odds!
My point is that last night I began to worry and I said NO! I am going to put Philippians 4:6-7 into practice. I broke Tetris out (because it helps me to do something mindless) and I began to pray out loud thanking God for all that He has done and telling Him how worried that I am. I began to remind myself through prayer just how He has been here for me. Even if things have not turned out how I have planned HIS GRACE HAS BEEN SUFFICIENT for my need. When we are worried how long should we pray? Well, I prayed until I fell asleep. My prayers of worrying turned into prayers of: "dear Jesus...PLEASE, PLEASE, I am begging You let my child go to sleep."

Then, this morning Rod brought me a piece of mail that he had gotten out of the mailbox on Sunday...it was a gift card from the sweetest man that I know. There is a precious man at our church (Jim Henderson...who will give you candy if you ever run into him...a man after my own heart...candy is very important to me) that is so loved by all and he sent me a sweet surprise. The Lord is so good...and it is just part of His grace. This man is truly such a blessing to everyone (Gen 12:2). I am like Lord please let me be like he is. I get a new i-Pod, my hair thermally straightened for free, and now dinner at my favorite restaurant J. Alexanders (I may just take Rod with me, I am not sure.)!!! Why me Lord? Just extra icing on the cake.

Psalm 126:3 The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.

So why do we need to practice thanksgiving? Well, because it reminds us of how He has been faithful in the past and that He will be faithful today. He doesn't need the reminder...we do! He is able and He is worthy of our trust and our praise. I love you Lord!!

5 comments:

Teri said...

That was really a great testimony! God is sooooo good!

Shelly said...

I love just reading your heart and the process of your journey with Him. It's such a blessing.

And as if we're aren't blogging buddies enough, did you know I worked at J. Alexander's this summer up until last weekend!!!????

LOL!!!

connorcolesmom said...

Jenny,
I too love to hear your heart so honest and true laid our right before the Lord!!
It truly is the way we become so close to the Almighty. When we confess we are nothing and He is our Everything!!
He is good even when our circumstances are not!!
I will be posting soon on something God has been revealing to me lately - sometimes He just has to smack me upside the head!
Love ya,
Kim

Shonda said...

Jenny,
I just wanted to share some more scriptures with you. Acts 12:1-18. Herod just killed James (the disciple) and is ready to kill Peter. The night before Peter's execution, he is asleep!! I just have to admit that Peter was not worried at all about what was about to happen to him. He was so sound asleep that when the angel took him out he thought he was dreaming. He finally came to his senses when he and the angel got to the end of the street. He was not pacing or praying in his jail cell, just sleeping. The church was praying for him. I just cant get over how he was sleeping. Is that trust in God or what!! Maybe that's just a guy thing? :)

Blessings in Christ

Tam said...

I love how real, honest and vulnerable you are. Thank you so much for sharing your heart Jenny! Ya know I commented a couple hours ago that i had been missing all your post for the last 2 weeks. Then tonight I pop on and all of the sudden they're all here - and ya know what - I needed this post this very moment! YES GOD IS GOOD - ALL THE TIME!!!! Thank you Lord for being Lord!